niya. Ang iyang kamagulangan, si Den Mark,mao’y kanunay makatilaw sa iyang sapot.Maulawon ug hilumon si Den Mark. Kungadunay laing tawo, sama sa mga bisita sa iyangamahan, kanunay syang magduko, iyang mga matagabalhinbalhin ug tutok sa lainlaing parte sa salug.Dugay siya nakatubag sa dihang gipangutananganong kanunay siyang mabunalan sa iyanagamahan niadtong gamay pa sya: “Sige ra man gudkog dulag dyolen unya makalimot na sa oras.”Apan adunay mga kausaban kang Lino nganabantayan ni Elsa niining mga pipila ka tuig nanga milabay. Iyang giingon nga talagsa na langgaaway si Lino ug si Den Mark; dugay na angpanahon nga nakasab-an ang kamagulanganganak, bisan pa man nga kini miundang nagdula ug dyolen tungod kay bilyard na man pudang hilig. Sama sa miagi, duna gihapoy mgapanahon nga dugay makauli si Den Mark.Sa karon, mas taas na ang pasyensya ni Lino samga bata. Talagsa na pud siya kaayo mangasaba.Kung mangasaba man, kasagaran siya makahilak,matud pa ni Elsa. Unya pagkaugma, kung bugnawna iyang ulo, maningkamot siya nga ipasabot saiyang mga anak nganong iya silang gikasab-an.Sa ilahang magtiayon, aduna usay kausabannga mabantayan. Kaniadto, kung sila magaway,moabot hangtud duha ka semana ayhasila magtingganay ug otro. Karon, dali nilangmahisgutan ang hinungdan sa ilang away, ugunsaon paglikay nga kini mahitabo pag-usab.Unsa kahay hinungdan sa kausaban?Si Elsa mituo nga daghag nakat-unaniyang bana sa mga gitambongan niini ngamga seminar, hilabi na katong mga kabahinsa paghusay sa mga bangi. Usahay ipaambitni Lino sa iyang asawa ang mga balasahongnakuha sa seminar. Nabantayan ni Elsa ngahuman pagtambong ni Lino sa mga seminar, dilina sya dali saputon ug dili na modapat sa iyangmga anak, hilabi na kang Den Mark. “Iyangnakaplagan nga dunay malinawon nga pamaagisa pag-atubang sa mga bangi,” matud ni Elsa.“Dili kalikayan ang mga bangi sulod sapamilya,” miingon si Lino. Iyang nasabtan ngaang pamilya susama sa panapton sa katilingban,nga kung imong palig-onon ang pamilya pinaagisa kalinaw, magpatigbabaw usab ang kalinaw sakatilingban.Dili lalim ang pagkab-ot sa malinawongbuot, apan makab-ot kani kung kanunayngpaningkamutan. Alang kang Lino, bag-o langniya gisugdan ang pagkab-ot niini, apan kusogang iyang pagpaningkamot nga iyang mausabang iyang kinaiya. Buot niyang mahimongsumbanan sa iyang mga silingan, ug labaw satanan, sa iyang mga anak.10 <strong>Lawig</strong> <strong>Kalinaw</strong>
preaching about God.But thoughts of God must have been quicklydispelled from his mind when his mother wouldfrequently leave him with his grandmother. Feelingabandoned and unwanted, he wanted to strike back.In high school, Lino became the school bullyand hung out with bad company. He’d stay out late,preferring the company of his friends than that of hisfamily. He was more frequent at the baylehan thanat home studying.Despite his attitude towards school, he was stillable to finish high school and wanted to go on tocollege. But this was way beyond their means soLino stayed in the farm and married at the age of23. He and his wife Elsa had five children – DenMark, 17; John Mark, 14; Risa, 9; Joan Kate, 7; andLiezel, 4Like a vicious cycle of recurring nightmares,Lino would hit his children at the slightest misdeed.“I just couldn’t stop myself,” he says. Den Mark, hiseldest son, got the brunt of his temper.Den Mark is unusually shy. In the company ofstrangers, like his father’s visitors, he keeps his headdown, his eyes wandering from one part of the floorto another, and remains silent. It took a while tomake him answer why as a young boy, he often gotberated by his father: “I kept playing marbles withmy friends without keeping track of the time.”Elsa, however, has noticed changes in Lino thesepast few years. She shares that her husband and theireldest son do not quarrel as much as they used to.It has been a long time since Lino last scolded hiseldest son. This despite the fact that Den Mark hasstarted playing billiards and still comes home late atnight every now and then.Lino now has more patience with the kids.Very rarely, Lino still scolds his children. Andwhen he does, he usually ends up crying, Elsasays. The following day, when his head is cooler,he would take time to explain to them why hescolded them.What could have brought about this change?Lino’s journey to inner peace may have startedwith the peacebuilding seminars he attended.Elsa believes Lino learned a lot from theseseminars. She noticed that since he attended these,he would no longer get fired up and be physicallyviolent with his children, especially with Den Mark.“He has realized that there’s a peaceful way to dealwith conflicts.”“We can’t avoid conflicts in the family,” Linoacknowledges. Having learned that “families arelike fabrics of society,” he has personally subscribedto the principle that “when you strengthen yourfamily with peace, rest assured that society will bemore likely to be at peace.”Finding inner peace is an uphill struggle whichgets easier with practice. For Lino, the journey hasjust started but he is striving to do his best to makesure that he changes and becomes a better man. Hewants to be a good example to his community and,most of all, to his children.Mga Sugilanon sa Pagpanday og <strong>Kalinaw</strong> sa Katilingban11