11-1-son-son-kr-son:Alatoran -11-1-son-son-kr-son.qxd.qxd
11-1-son-son-kr-son:Alatoran -11-1-son-son-kr-son.qxd.qxd
11-1-son-son-kr-son:Alatoran -11-1-son-son-kr-son.qxd.qxd
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Duvaьыn altыnda Qыztamamыn aьladыьыnы gюrdцm.<br />
Dedиm yяqиn mяnиm цчцn aьlayыr. Mяn dя baшladыm<br />
aьlamaьa vя чыьыrыb dedиm: "Qыztamam bяs sяn mяnя<br />
demишdиn mяnиmlя evlяnяcяksяn, mяnи buraxыb hara<br />
gedиrsяn, mяn sяnsиz necя yaшayacaьam" Toydakы<br />
adamlarn hamыsы dюnцb mяnя baxыrdы. Hamы da<br />
mяnиm tam lцt bяdяnиmя baxыrdы. Qыztamam atыn<br />
цstцndяn dюnцb mяnя baxdы vя яllяrи иlя yaш axan<br />
gюzlяrиnи qapadы. Yalvarmaьa baшladыm "Xahиш<br />
edиrяm getmя, qurban olum getmя, Qыztamam<br />
getmя!" Atlыlar Qыztamamы apardыlar. Gedиb<br />
tюylяmиzdяkи atы чыxardыm, mиnиb Qыztamamыn arxasыnca<br />
чapmaьa baшladыm. Qabaьыma чыxan<br />
kяndlиlяrиmиzdяn aьlayaraq yardыm иstяyиrdиm:<br />
"Bяlkя Sиzиn gцcцnцz чatar, qoymayыn Qыztamamы<br />
aparsыnlar." Adamlar gцlцmsяyиb keчиrdиlяr. Tarlada<br />
dяryaz чalan atamыn yanыna чapdыm atы. "Ata,<br />
Qыztamamы aparыrlar, kюmяk elя ata!" Atam "Bala<br />
qoy aparsыnlar dяя"- dedи. Atam da mяnи anlamadы.<br />
Artыq Qыztamamы aparan atlыlar uzaqlaшmaq, gюzdяn<br />
иtmяk цzrя иdи. Atlыlarыn arxasыnca чapыb <strong>son</strong> dяfя<br />
olaraq Qыztamamы gюrmяk иstяdиm. Atlыlara чatmышdыm.<br />
"Qыztamam, bяs sяn demишdиn mяnя яrя<br />
gedяcяksяn"- dedиm. Qыztamamыn gюzlяrиndяn yaш<br />
axыrdы. Atlыlarыn ичиndяn bиr yaшlы kиши чыxыb mяnя<br />
"Ayя, qodux, sяn get gюtцvя bиr шalvar tap <strong>son</strong>ra<br />
evlяnmяk fи<strong>kr</strong>иnя dцш!"- dedи. Bu sюz mяnя чox tяsиr<br />
elяdи. Dюnцb юzцmя baxdыm. Gerчяkdяn яynиmdя<br />
heч bиr шey yox иdи. Qыztamamы aparan karvan artыq<br />
gюzlяrdяn иtmишdи. Yalnыz, tяk-tяnha qalmышdыm.<br />
Sevdиyиm quzularыmы qucaqlayыb aьlayыrdыm.<br />
Qыztamamыn zцmzцmя etdиyи mahnыlarы pычыldayыrdыm.<br />
Qыztamamыn чиmdиyи gюlя uьrayыb onun<br />
gюldяkи hяrяkяtlяrиnи xatыrlayыrdыm.<br />
***<br />
Иllяr keчdи. Eшиtdиm kи, Qыztamam gиl Muьanшяhrя<br />
kючmцшlяr. Hяm dя чox qorxunc bиr xяbяr dя eшиtdиm:<br />
"Qыztamam aиlяdяkи anlaшыlmazlыq цzцndяn<br />
юzцnц atыb yanar tяndиrя. Юlmяmиш ancaq яl-ayaьы bиr<br />
yerя yыьыlыb, яng яtи bиr-bиrиnя keчmиш vя danышa<br />
bиlmиr. Яrи dя Qыztamamы boшamыш, иndи qardaшы gиldя<br />
qalыr." Bu xяbяr mяnи чox цzmцшdц. Tяbrиzdя tиbb<br />
unиversиtяsиndя oxuyurdum. Bиr gцn Muьana gedиb<br />
Qыztamamы gюrmяk иstяdиm. Muьanda bиr чox<br />
qohumlarыmыz var иdи. Qohumlarыmыz da mяnя чox<br />
hюrmяt edиrdиlяr. Getdиm Muьana. Hяr gцn bиr<br />
qohum mяnи qonaq чaьыrыrdы. Чoxlarы da юz<br />
kяndиmиzdяn buraya kючmцшdцlяr. Gюrцrdцm kи,<br />
kяnddя mяnиmlя oynayan qыzlarыn чoxu яrя getmяlи<br />
olmuшlar artыq.<br />
Bиr axшam da юzцm Qыztamamыn qardaшы gиlя getdиm.<br />
Qыztamamыn da qardaшlarы, bacыlarы gяlиn<br />
kючdцkdяn <strong>son</strong>ra kючmцшdцlяr Muьana. Юzцmц<br />
tanыtdыm. Fиlan kяsиn oьluyam. Чox hюrmяt edиb evя<br />
dяvяt etdиlяr. Qыztamamы gюrdцm. Bиr яt yыьыnы kиmи<br />
bиr kцncdя oturmuшdu mяnиm иlk mяhяbbяtиm. Чяtиn<br />
tanыnыrdы. Gюzяllиyиndяn bиr яsяr qalmamыш, чox<br />
чиrkиn olmuшdu. Цzцnя adam baxanda yanыqlarыn<br />
yerиndяn qorxurdu. Danышa bиlmяsя dя eшиdя bиlиrdи.<br />
"Salam Qыztamam, mяnи tanыdыnmы" dedиm. Baшы иlя<br />
ишarяt edяrяk "Yox, tanыmadыm"- bиldиrdи. Юzцmц<br />
tanыtdыqdan <strong>son</strong>ra gюzlяrиndяn yaш axmaьa baшladы.<br />
Yцksяk sяslя aьlaya bиlmиrdи. Ancaq gюzlяrиnиn yaшы<br />
durmadan axыrdы. Qыztamamыn boynunu qocaqladыm.<br />
Mяn dя aьlayыrdыm. "Qыztamam, bяrabяr чиmdиyиmиz<br />
gюlя bиr чox шeиr yazmышam. Mяn sяnи heч bиr zaman<br />
unutmadыm. Sяnи sevиrяm Qыztamam.<br />
Xatыrlayыrsanmы quшqonmaz tиkanlыьыnыn tиkanlarыnы<br />
sяn mяnиm bяdяnиmdяn чыxardыn. Sяnи sevиrяm<br />
Qыztamam. Mяn bu dцzяnя qarшы savaш aчmышam. Hяr<br />
an mяnи tutub zиndana sala bиlяrlяr. Bu dцzяnи daьdacaьam<br />
Qыztamam. Mяnиm dostum, mяnиm<br />
Qыztamamыm."- dedиm. Sarыlmышdыm Qыztamamыn<br />
hяrяkяtsиz vцcuduna. Evdя olan hяr kяs aьlayыrdы.<br />
Mяnиm иlk mяhяbbяtиm mяhv olmuшdu.<br />
20 gцn Muьanda qaldыm. Bиr gecя яmиm gиldя<br />
иdиm. Zяng etdиlяr kи, Qыztamam юldц. Gяlиn cяnazя<br />
mяrasиmиnя. Yas yerиnя getdиk. Bяzи adamlar pычыldayыrdы<br />
kи, Qыztamam rahat oldu. Elя yaшamaqdansa<br />
юlцm yaxшыdыr. Qadыnlar pяrdя чяkmишdиlяr vя<br />
Qыztamamыn bяdяnиnи yuyub kяfяnlяyиrdиlяr.<br />
Qыztamamы tabuta qoydular. Mяn tabutun юnцndяn<br />
yapышdыm. Mяzarlыqda иkи nяfяr qayышыmыzы чыxarыb<br />
cяnazяyя baьladыq. Qыztamamыn cяnazяsиnи qяbиrя<br />
salladыq. Qayышыmы Qыztamamыn belиndяn aчarkяn:<br />
"Яlvиda Qыztamam, sяnи unutmayacaьam."- dedиm.<br />
Sabahыsы kяndиmиzя yola dцшdцm. Qыztamamla<br />
olan xatиrяlяrиmиzиn yerlяrиnи, o mцqяddяs yerlяrи<br />
gюrmяk цчцn kяndиmиzя getdиm<br />
***<br />
Qыztamam tez-tez yuxuma gиrиr. Bяzяn odun<br />
ичиndя yanaraq mяnи иmdada чaьыrыr. Yuxudan<br />
oyanыram vя ...<br />
10.<strong>11</strong>.2007<br />
АЛАТОРАН № 12, ЙАНВАР 2008 95
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