Zbornik Mednarodnega literarnega sreÄanja Vilenica 2004 - Ljudmila
Zbornik Mednarodnega literarnega sreÄanja Vilenica 2004 - Ljudmila Zbornik Mednarodnega literarnega sreÄanja Vilenica 2004 - Ljudmila
Valžina Mort as if I am a ball inside a lottery wheel I do somersaults and dance a fast foxtrot and a scoundrel announces attention: a ball has fallen out but not my ball it never leaves. where am I to hide from the one who believes cool as a cucumber the one about to lose all and still bets it on my number. and watches miserable at the balls under the glass as in winter a snowstorm is watched through the window by us and before the lottery wheel does its last spin I would give anything to switch places with my leaden twin. to be ejected and to fly in my silver attire – free at last! and that someone as if under a spell would hide and wrap me in the red under his heart. 294
Valžina Mort Do not lean against the subway door! Because this is what I am. Do not lean against it! Keep still with your thoughts or whatever in your silent laps. At the next stop I will slide to the right. Stop! It is not you who gets off! It is for Barabbas I slide. I could feel him watching me without a sneer. I guided Barabbas along the ear-like tubes while he used my memories to construct the Rubik’s cube, and I used my head to fight but it led into a blind alley. Into a blind alley but I fight as if it was a girl’s innocence, I swim and walk on the ice, but I would like to roll into the water and shout – enough! And still I always find my way into the blind alley. You see – do not lean against the subway door! I am – the subway door… I am – where are you? And in response I get the whine and whisper of the hollowed tongues. I cut my belly with the word that you have lost and take my time to scoop rats and feelings out of it. Translated by Irena Zorko 295
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Valžina Mort<br />
as if I am a ball<br />
inside a lottery wheel<br />
I do somersaults<br />
and dance<br />
a fast foxtrot<br />
and a scoundrel announces<br />
attention: a ball has fallen out<br />
but not my ball<br />
it never leaves.<br />
where am I to hide<br />
from the one who believes<br />
cool as a cucumber<br />
the one about to lose all<br />
and still bets it on my number.<br />
and watches miserable<br />
at the balls under the glass<br />
as in winter a snowstorm<br />
is watched through the window by us<br />
and before the lottery wheel<br />
does its last spin<br />
I would give anything<br />
to switch places with my leaden twin.<br />
to be ejected and to fly<br />
in my silver attire –<br />
free at last!<br />
and that someone as if under a spell<br />
would hide and wrap me in the red<br />
under his heart.<br />
294