Zbornik Mednarodnega literarnega srečanja Vilenica 2004 - Ljudmila

Georgi Gospodinov
Station Story
From »And Other Stories«
All central stations in the world have seen the same story centering on the
public lavs and featuring our countrymen. These stories are all about
outsmarting the automatic doors of said toilets, i.e. all about the way Bulgarian
presence in the vicinity rules out the slot/chink/one-man-in mechanism.
One coin and some swift sliding can relieve a whole group of passengers.
I’ve heard that on such an occasion at some German Bahnhof the
door mechanism gave up and broke. Not knowing how to cry for help,
the stranded collective body started shouting the only German word they
knew, most likely from Russian films about World War II. Which was:
»Achtung! Achtung!«
Unspeakable panic at said Bahnhof, evacuation of waiting room and
calling of anti-terrorist squads. So those inside cried ‘Achtung’, while those
outside cut off the area and waited for the explosion.
The answer to the question ‘Where are we now’ is analogous. The toilets
ring with warning shouts. Everyone knows what’s happening, but
nobody’s opening the door and nobody’s going out. And the only way out
in the toilet is down. To Tartarrus.
Translated by Zornitsa Hristova
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