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32
LaNGuaGEcoLumN
I tHINk tHat Gay maRRIaGE
sHouLd bE bEtwEEN
a maN aNd a womaN *
Author: EMMA sundh
illustrAtion: FridA WErME
the first time school introduced me to another language
than my mother tongue was when I attended 4th grade. It
was time to start learning English, the world language. i can
now pursue studies on the master’s level at Chalmers thanks
to this. nowadays many children start taking English classes
as early as in 1st grade. Good or bad? I won’t judge.
I remember that my English teacher was a woman named
Kristina. She was also my Swedish teacher. When it was time
for our English class she left the classroom, changed a scarf
or her hairdo and came back as Chris. Chris didn’t know
Swedish, so we all had to speak English with her. However,
what I remember most from those classes isn’t the teacher;
it’s the TV series about
All those things that I
will never ever need to
use in a conversation
are stuck in my head
a large, green and loveable
beast named Muzzy.
While Muzzy ate clocks
I was stunned, completely
dazzled by his English-speaking
world.
Two years later, in 6th grade, I started taking German classes.
All 6th graders in my school had to take either German
or French all through junior high. I knew my limits and
realized that I would probably embarrass myself for life if
I ever tried to say anything in French. Brilliant language -
not so brilliant me. Up till this day I know three sentences
in French. The most usable is: Je suis une baguette. According
to a friend’s older brother that sentence would make
any French-speaking person believe that I was insane, so I
would earn a spot in a mental facility with a bed and food to
eat – living the good life!
About my German knowledge it can be mentioned that I
mostly remember the music. I know that German many
times is considered by Swedes to be rather structured and
rule based language. That has never been my experience of
it. I still remember the preposition songs that my teacher
taught me: “aus, außer, bei, gegenüber…”, and I still remember
the Rolli und Rita TV series and its lead theme. In reality
the show is named Hallo aus Berlin, but the memory
is selective and I remember the main characters more than
what actually happened in the series. That won’t, however,
stop me from singing along when watching it, even though
I now find it hopelessly outdated.
The last language class I took was Spanish. For two years,
in the beginning of this century, I learnt how to say rabbit
(el conejo) and cockroach (la cucaracha). All those things
that I will never ever need to use in a conversation are
stuck in my head, while the important stuff has vanished
somewhere down the road throughout the last eight years.
What I do remember is that our sweet, sweet teacher would
drive me insane with that specific Las Ketchup song – yes,
you know which one I mean.
Nowadays, the sober version of me and, I presume, many
other Swedes will not show off with our language skills
in front of people who know the languages in question by
heart. I will go out on a limb here and guess that that’s also
an issue for those of you who don’t know Swedish very well,
but are trying to learn and speak the language in everyday
life. I will speak for myself yet again and say that I find
it extremely cool when someone who isn’t Swedish all of
a sudden can understand what I’m saying and maybe even
reply in my own language. I’m still stunned when I hear
someone repeat a word I just said with the same pronunciation
as I had. It has been said that Swedish is a difficult
language to learn. I don’t know if it’s true, since I don’t
remember the learning process myself, but nevertheless:
you all make it seem easy!
*Malapropism by Californian governor Arnold schwarzenegger, whose mother tongue is german.