Gay&Night Januari 2014

and proudly introduce your son with
his boyfriend or daughter with her
girlfriend. If you don’t, it makes them
feel ashamed and you can’t live a
fulfilled life if you’re ashamed of who
you are. I often find that it’s difficult
to get the dads to be open about their
kids’ sexuality. Even the dads who
are accepting. It has to do with male
culture in my opinion. They think it’s
their fault that their son or daughter
is gay. I didn’t really have any trouble
with it when Matt came out to me. He
was still my son in the first place. The
only thing I was disappointed about
is that I couldn’t have grandkids, but
that’s all possible now. I was actually
excited because it meant that when
Matt would get married, I would be
able to go to two bachelor parties!
Do you think you would
be this involved in the
equal rights movement if it
wasn't for what happened
to Matt?
Judy: We would be involved, but not
as much as we are now. I think Matt
would be the one doing the speeches
instead of me. I’m not the kind of
person that operates in the spotlights.
We’re doing this now because it’s
what Matt wanted us to do. And
meeting all the people is amazing and
encouraging, so it’s worth it.
One of Matt's murderers
was supposed to be in
death row, but Judy, you
stopped that. Why?
Judy: Well the defense attorneys told
us that McKinney would accept the
same prison sentence as the other
man had already received, if the death
penalty got repealed, and he would
never appeal. That means that he
would just be in jail forever. That was
a better option for us, because the
verdict can’t be overturned and we
would never have to be in court with
him again.
Dennis: I think sentencing him to
death would turn him into a martyr,
and that’s not what we want.
Judy: I try not to think about him,
because the more I do, the more
power I give him. He’s just gone to me
and I don’t really care for him.
Matthew's death inspired a
lot of artists to write songs
about him. How is that for
you?
Judy: There’s even an opera and a
ballet inspired by his death. I haven’t
heard all of them but it’s very
heartwarming that they care enough
about Matt and that it inspires them.
Dennis: It’s nice that he’s still on their
minds.
Michelle, when someone
dies and a film or book
about that person is made,
very often the people in
there only talk about the
good side of the person
who died. How did you
use that knowledge in your
film?
Michelle: I didn’t want to make him
into some sort of superstar of martyr.
I wanted to show Matt as a real
person, with flaws and imperfections.
It was important to show that he had
moments of insecurity and he got sad
sometimes, it makes people relate to
him better.
Dennis: Judy’s book did the same
thing. He was a normal kid. He was a
good kid, but also a pain in the butt
sometimes. He sometimes drank too
much and didn’t go to school often
enough, he was a normal person.
That’s what we try to tell people.
Matt was just like you and me.
Michelle: Also, when you see
someone you can relate to, it helps
you deal with similar problems. It’s
very easy to make someone into a
saint because you miss them so much
and you want to be reminded about
the good things, but it’s better to
have someone who is a real human
being.
Judy: Matt didn’t want to be
remembered as a perfect person, I
think. We wanted to introduce our
Matt.
Dennis: And not Saint Matthew
Shepard. That’s not him.
Visit www.matthewsplace.com
if you and/or your family need
help dealing with issues related
to exuality. The website is still
looking for new bloggers to share
their story.
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