JULY 2021 Blues Vol 37 No. 7

When the Music Ends BY

When the Music Ends BY Retired NYPD Detective John Salerno Everyone has a favorite song, and we all hate it when the song comes to an end. We want to rewind it and listen to it again. We know every word; we can even remember when we first heard it, and how it made us feel. Just like the day we raised our right hand and took the oath to protect and serve our communities. That day changed our lives forever. It was a proud moment for us, our friends, and our families. We spoke the words of honor, respect, and community. We vowed to protect and serve. These words were not said halfhearted or taken lightly. Many call Law Enforcement a career; but when you think about it, what every officer goes through, it is more of a calling. Matthew 5.9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. There are very few careers where a person will leave his or her family and go into work willing to lay down their own life for the life of stranger, there is no other line of work where you place yourself in grave danger, just to catch a thief that will soon beat the system and be back on the streets in just a few short hours. That music gets old, just like rewinding and listening to your favorite song repeatedly, the song loses its feeling. It loses its meaning. But your song can regain its meaning. All it takes is a little time. Retirement is one of the most bittersweet days of our lives. We have spent most of our time giving back to strangers and placing our family on hold. Now, how do we adjust to a semi-normal routine? It is going to take time. We must be prepared. Retirement can weigh heavy on us. Our emotional preparedness for what is ahead is never really laid out. For most, retirement is a command party with our work family, a cheap Walmart cake, lots of drinks, war stories and remember when’s. Then toss in a few “You made it! Enjoy your days fishing on the lake.” Then, 30 years of risking your life comes to a screeching halt. We clean out our desks and lockers usually finding a lost memento or trinket that reminds us of a lifetime ago. We pack it all in a cardboard box and head out the door. The sounds of radio runs, typing and orders being given, fill your ears as you leave. You walk through the parking lot and see patrol cars coming and going. You get to the car, slam the door and SILENCE. It is over. My time is complete. At this point you begin to either feel joy, sadness, loneliness, anger, or all the above. Retirement affects each of us differently. What are we going home to? What is life going to be like out of the bag? This can be the beginning of a downward spiral if we are not properly prepared. Transitioning back into civilian life can be the hardest part. We usually do not think of the effects until it is too late. We are never fully prepared on how our minds will react. The things we do make sure of is our medical insurance, pensions, and 401K. Oh, and depending on which state, our carry permit. We never ask what retirement will be like. What are some of the emotions my family and I will experience? Even if those questions were asked, I am sure many would not even know how to answer them. So how do we prepare? When do we prepare? Well, it all goes back to the day we raised our right hand and swore that oath. The time to prepare for retirement is not 1 year, 5 years or even 10 years before. The time to mentally prepare yourself is before you hit the streets. The day you raised that right hand. We took an oath to protect and serve, we upheld that oath for 20 plus years. We need to have our officers take an oath to protect and serve themselves as well. To uphold that oath throughout their career and into retirement. Cops follow order and train hard. The training we learn over the years sticks with us even after retirement. Think about it…... you go grocery shopping, and you are constantly scanning for threats, you go out to eat, you sit with your back to the wall. Training! Always scanning for a threat. We never train to scan for the mental health threat. What to do if it becomes dark, how to handle the spiral down. Some of us even teach our spouses how to react if a threat is encountered. Why are we not teaching our spouses to recognize the mental health threat? STIGMA…. poor department programs, budgets, time, resources etc. etc. All these things can be fixed, altered, and reinvested to heal the wounds before they begin. We wear a bullet resistant vest to protect us from injury, now if you get shot in the vest it is going to hurt, your will have a bruise but you most likely will not DIE. Mental health vests should be given out as well, stacked trauma will hurt, it will leave a bruise but most likely you will not DIE. Starting to sink in, getting the picture? It is no secret we will be exposed to trauma during our time in the streets, but the streets are what keeps our traumas down, hidden, locked up. Why? Because we go onto the next trauma without decompression. Many traumas are not felt or even remembered until after retirement. That is when we have the time to think… two words a cop hates “Time” and “Thinking.” Let’s face it, during a confrontation we have neither. Sometimes a split second is all we have. However, retirement gives us both. The time to reflect in our own thoughts. The ability to think about things. A place that many are scared to go. Why are we not preparing ourselves mentally? This is the 100,000-dollar question. How do we mentally prepare for Traumas we have never even encountered? Well historically, law enforcement has only provided a knee jerk reaction to traumas. When a shooting occurs, or a major incident happens we bring in the crisis intervention team. When an officer falls into the rabbit hole, we take their gun and send them to the couch! This is not preparing us; this is setting us up to fail. It also puts the mindset that a person is weak or incomplete. That there is something wrong with them. We are validating the negative stigma about mental health which will push officers to just place band-aides on bullet holes or just patching a tire which one day is going to blow. Maintenance is key to a healthy retirement; like changing the oil in your car. We get a warning light when we are at 20%. Well officers need a warning light. Officers need to be conditioned that after a certain amount of time in the field they need to come in for a tune-up. A trauma oil change! Sometimes we may only need to change the oil, but on occasions we may need to take the time to get a front-end alignment, have the tires rotated or change out the squeaky brake pads, all normal routine maintenance procedures. It all depends on how the car was driven. But when we pull the car out of the shop, we can immediately feel the difference. We immediately feel a change in the performance. It just took a little extra time. So, now when you turn on your favorite song it will again have the meaning it had when you first heard it. John Salerno and Sam host MAD (Making a Difference) Radio each Wednesday 7pm central live on FB @Makingadifferencetx. Help us reach our goal of 100,000 subscribers. CLICK BELOW for your FREE SUBSCRIPTION. Please share with all your friends and co-workers. CLICK OR SCAN HERE 80 The BLUES POLICE MAGAZINE The BLUES POLICE MAGAZINE 81