DEC 2022. Blues Vol 38 No. 12

The Best of the Best The

The Best of the Best The very first War Story I heard in the academy, goes like this. A Texas Trooper was about to head to the house when a major accident dropped with possible fatalities. When he arrived, an evening shift unit said he’d work the wreck and the fatality, if he would just direct traffic. Well, “just direct traffic” sounds like the better deal for sure, but closing a main thoroughfare will no doubt result in the usual idiots who stop in the middle of the street and ask one of the following: “What’s going on officer? Is the road closed?” Nope I’m just standing here in the rain for the hell of it. Yes, the road is closed. Follow the car ahead of you. “But Officer I HAVE to go this way to get home. I don’t know any other way.” Just follow the car ahead of you. 20 minutes later…. “Officer, I followed those cars, but they didn’t go to my house. Where do I do now?” See that parking lot, just go wait there. (For about 8 hours) “What’s going on officer? Anyone get hurt?” NOPE, we always land a helicopter in the middle of the road, he’s bringing us lunch. Finally, a family of six packed in a SUV, will all the windows down and kids hanging out every everywhere, stopped in the middle of the road… “OMG did anyone get hurt? The trooper standing next to a sheet over a severed head, reached down, grabbed the head by the scalp, blood dripping everywhere, held it up and said, “well this one got banged up a bit !!” The SUV went full speed into the night with all the kids screaming and crying. Now I’ve had all of the above and more happen while directing traffic. But the severed head is a bit much, but the instructor swore it was the honest to Gods truth. Uh Huh. • • • Then there was the Sgt that screamed on the radio that his house was on fire, resulting in no less than a half dozen fire departments showing up, only to find out it was steam coming off the roof, not smoke. His neighbors were very helpful and had nearly all his furniture on the lawn before the Fire Chief halted crews from punching a hole in his roof. Idiot. • • • Let’s not forget about the airplane pilot who claimed a guy fell out of a Cessna 152 while doing maneuvers, when in fact the fellow committed suicide and jumped. NO, he didn’t make it. There was a BIG hole in a pasture where he landed with cows standing guard. • • • Or the town that defunded their police force during a city council meeting and afterwards ,loaded into a church van to celebrate at the local Applebee’s. Unfortunately, they were broadsided by an 18-wheeler and ended up rolling into a creek some 200 feet off the roadway. Luckily, one of the town’s cops rolled up on the scene and pulled every one of them out just before the van exploded. Realizing they had made a BIG mistake; they held an emergency council meeting at the hospital and voted to reinstate the cops. • • • Finally, we’ve taken the liberty to reprint two of the best War Story and Aftermath’s we’ve ever published. Both involved officers that felt they had reached the end of their ropes, and both were ready to say goodbye to this world. Both had intervention and both lived to tell their stories. If you ever get in a position where you feel you’re at the end of your rope, please call the First Responder helpline at: 833- 367-4689 92 The BLUES The BLUES 93