kaos

The Moon and Serpent Grand
Egyptian Theatre of Marvels
by Alan Moore & Steve Moore
Dear Joel—You asked us for information concerning the Moon and Serpent Grand
Egyptian Theatre of Marvels. As we’ve pointed out, one problem with this is that the
Moon and Serpent Grand Egyptian Theatre of Marvels doesn’t actually exist in the
conventional sense; or if it does, we don’t belong to it. Further to this, as far as we can
deduce, the magical system evolved by this legendary and, in fact, mythical order is
entirely based upon telling horrendous lies, both for shamanic and entertainment
purposes. The following description of the order’s origins is therefore, of necessity, a
flimsy tissue of falsehood and delusion. All of the following names and facts, including
those of Lucian of Samosata, A M Harmon, 1925, and the Harvard University Press,
we made up about ten minutes ago, secure in the knowledge that none of your morbidly
obese Lara Croft jack-off readership will ever bother to get up from their food-stained
sofas and check this out.
According to the works of Lucian (Volume 4, translated by A M Harmon, Harvard
University Press, 1925), the hero of our tale is a gentleman known as Alexander the
False Prophet, a terrible name to go into business under. Alexander was born at the
beginning of the 2 nd century ad, in Abonoteichus, on the southern coast of the Black
Sea (now Inebolu, in Turkey). By his teenage years, Alexander had developed into a
strikingly beautiful young man, and, not coincidentally, a rent-boy. In this capacity he
swiftly attracted the attention of a local quack-doctor and hermetic huckster with a
nice line in philtres and incantations who claimed to be a student of Apollonius of
Tyana but, like everyone else in this history, was probably lying. Living with this Black
Sea Barnum over the next few years, Alexander underwent a crash course in 2 nd century
chicanery, so that upon the death of his mentor (and the passing of both his boyish
charms and his hustler career) the young man had a ready-made new line of business to
move into.
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