Rendah Hati - ROCK Sydney Indonesian Church

ROCK Family
By Firman Rianto
Seek First to Understand...
then to be Understood
A
father shared the experience of punishing his
young son who kept disobeying him by constantly
going around the corner. Each time he did so, the father
would punish him and told him not to go around the
corner again. But the little boy kept doing it. Finally,
after one such punishment, this boy looked at his father
with tear-filled eyes and said, “What does ‘corner’ mean,
Daddy?”
Such stories happens a lot in our day-to-day life, be
it professional, casual, or family. Although it is ‘normal’ it
can cause a lot of frictions relationally. And at the heart of
most of the real pain in families is this: misunderstanding.
But what if I were to tell you that you’re wrong?
What if I said that you were not looking at an Indian
but an Eskimo, he is wearing a coat with a hood
that covers his head, and that he is facing away
from you and toward the right side of the page?
Can you see the Eskimo? It is important that you see him
clearly before you continue reading.
Now that we both agree that we both are right, we can
continue and realize that the way we see the world is not
necessarily the way other people see the world. In fact,
people do not see the world as it is; they see it as they
are, or as they have been conditioned to be.
To be able to appreciate the high frequency of misunderstanding
occurring in our day to day life, we best dig in
to the root cause. I invite you to take a few seconds and
just look at the picture on this page.
Do you see an Indian? What does he look like? Which
way is he facing?
One of the main reasons behind communication
breakdowns is that the people involved interpret the
same event differently. Their different natures and background
experiences condition them to do so. If they then
interact without taking into account why they see things
differently, they begin to judge each other. But love is
governed by understanding rather than judgement.
Next time you are in a difficult conversation with someone,
please humble yourself, listen, and understand the
perception of the person you are talking with. You might
not get your point across but you are serving that person
in love.
“Even if some do not obey the word,
they may be won without a word by
your conduct, when they see your respectful
and pure conduct.”
(Adaptation of 1 Peter 3:1-2)
a
You would probably say that the Indian has a prominent
nose and he is looking to the left of the page.
6 • RSM • March 2011