Traduire

ON THREE ENGLISH VERSIONS OF GU CHENG’S SELECTED POEMS
heiye geile wo heise de yanjing 黑 夜 給 了 我 黑 色
的 眼 睛
(GC: The dark night has given me dark eyes)
(SD: Even with these dark eyes, a gift of the dark
night)
(NF: the black night gave me black eyes)
wo que yong ta xunzhao guangming
我 卻 用 它 尋 找 光 明
(GC: Yet I use them to search for
light)
(SD: I go to seek the shining light)
(NF: still I use them to seek the light
In both Gu Cheng and Nameless Flowers, the use of end rhyming (“eyes”,
“light”) and internal rhyming (“night”, “eyes”), as well as the repetition of adjectives
such as “dark” and “black” allow the readers to recall the poem’s original Chinese
sentence pattern and rhythm. But if we read more closely, we find subtle differences
between the two versions as a result of the choice of words worth more detailed
comparison.
First of all, the use of present participle in Gu Cheng implicates that having
“dark eyes” has been an undeniable fact dated from the past decades, while the use
of past tense in Nameless Flowers simply suggests it was an incident occurred in the
past; the former seems more accurate in describing the lasting impacts of political
suppression at the time. Secondly, while hei 黑 (black) in the first line is rendered as
“dark” in Gu Cheng, it is literally translated as “black” in Nameless Flowers.
Although both “black” and “dark” can describe the state of lacking light or visual
illumination at night, “dark” carries more negative connotations such as “morally
bad, dangerous, and frightening,” 1 reminding the readers of “dark times” under the
political censorship and totalitarian regime that accentuates the keynote of the poem.
Thirdly, the conjunction que 卻 in the second line is translated as “yet” in Gu Cheng,
and as “still” in Nameless Flowers, while both attempt to introduce the unanticipated
persistence of “search for light” or “seek the light,” the latter further insinuates that
the pursuit is a struggle that has lasted for some period of time.
In contrast to the faithful rendering of Gu Cheng and Nameless Flowers, Sea
of Dreams changes the original sentence structure by using the phrase “a gift of”
rather than the verb “give,” and applies the present progressive in the second line to
emphasize the movement of the light. Nevertheless, the positive connotations of
“gift,” including “present,” “blessing,” and “a natural ability to something well” 2
tend to weaken and undo the overwhelming suppression of the “dark night,” while
the three-sentence translation also loses the original couplet’s succinct beauty and
balance in both visual form and melodic rhythm, which in turn appears to be trivial
and redundant. In addition, the antithesis “dark eyes” and “black eyes” versus
“light” arranged at the end of each line, signifying the binary opposition of
repression and freedom in the original verse is erased for no valid reason.
CONCLUSION
It is observed that among the three English versions, Gu Cheng is more
identified with the poet’s creative intention as it insists on literal translation and
weighs the words and expressions deliberately, so as to faithfully represent the
1 “dark.” Macmillan English Dictionary for Advanced Learners. Second Edition. 2007. Print.
2 “gift.” Macmillan English Dictionary for Advanced Learners. Second Edition. 2007. Print.
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