A Rightless Father

first Monday of each month at the mother’s – providing the day was
not a holiday nor an eve of such a day. One hour in a month!
The mother wanted to include a clause that a visit could be cancelled
if my breath smelled of alcohol. I accepted this, for I had never been
drunk on the visits. Among others, she tried to stick in the following
extra rules:
- Visit cancelled if my breath smells of garlic
- Visit cancelled if I "bellow"
These were terms I did not approve of. I felt the terms would easily
develop into such forms that I and my daughter would not meet each
other any more. Not to mention the power such clauses would give her
to control and oppress me, which quality was and is still an inseparable
part of her personality. I was not at all surpriced, when she little
later hoped that I would arrive as early as two hours before the time
agreed. Neither did I wonder that she did not hurry me up to leave
when the time was out. Instead she wanted me to stay over the night.
Just as before. Sometimes I fulfilled her wishes while we were living
towards the Christmas.
I moved from my lodging into a commodious appartement of a kitchen
and two rooms. My scheme was to get the right to parent the
child at my home, which was to happen within the next two years,
nothing less than that. I could not imagine that time I have had my
child in my place not one time by today, it is autumn 2004 now, when
she is over 12 and I am writing this story. People who know me have
neither been able to foresee this would be the result.
The mother suddenly enrolled the baby into baby swimming on Saturdays
and offered me an opportunity to join them. The condition was
I had to come as early as on the Friday evening and I should stay for
the night. I complied.
She became open-minded, told me she have had dreams of me buying
her an engagement ring. She dreamed of a second child, she revealed.
The child recognized her father already, played with me indoors and
outdoors. She learned to walk a bit earlier than to talk, her speech developed
rapidly. Her talents did not go unnoticed by anybody. Later I