A Rightless Father

mother. Instead, she was prepared to get rid of the foetus to avoid such
a fate.
The very problem was that abortions are not granted on pregnancies
after a set time limit. My decision to stay with her had to be made instantly.
I gave my promise.
We had breakfast peacefully on Wednesday morning till she released
firmly and calmly: “We had a quarrel yesterday evening, if that happens
one more time, I shall make such arrangements you will never
see your child more. In that mission I shall be given support by my
sister in law, they say she is a pretty good lawyer.”
Naturally this took my breath away, but I managed to control myself,
did not provoke the situation any worse.
I do remember her words for the rest of my life. Also she remembers
and is still living up to them. She has failed partly, although. With her
this was merely a matter of announcing, nothing more. Never mind
my feelings. We went on dating irregularly till the end of the year. I
got to hear the same threat from time to time.
The Year 1992
The Birth
She yearned to see the foetus and know its sex. She hoped for a girl
but believed it will be a boy. We had already the names for a boy:
Antti Henrik. My second Christian name is Henrik, Antti is both my
brother’s and her brother’s name. We went to the maternal clinic of
the HYKS, where the scanning was done. The little heart, tinier than a
finger tip, was seen dark. It was beating loyally. She was a bit sad the
sex of the foetus was not to be distinguished. A legal abortion was out
of the question, the time was out.
I insisted we must visit my relatives in Oulu, naturally she was against
me. She agreed first when I threatened to leave her, if she will not fly
there with me. Providing I pay for the tickets, she would give in.
There was no other way out of the dilemma, and on these terms the
visit was made.