TEACHER QUOTE - King Edward High School for Girls

Design and Artwork Paul Burns • Crown Creative Limited • Tel: 01384 274 774 • info@crowncreative.co.uk • www.crowncreative.co.uk
Dear Everyone,
You are now holding your copy of this year’s Phoenix, in the last moments of the
school year, as is the tradition of many decades. You have been into the Final Assembly,
which has summarised the parts played in school life by all of us. You have sung with gusto,
we hope, our adopted and much loved “school” song “Jerusalem”. So if you have had good times
and bad times this year, we hope you will enjoy your Phoenix and that it will set you up for a
relaxing and enjoyable summer.
This Phoenix comes to you in the spirit of democracy; it is truly of the students, by the students
and for the students. Indeed it has been a forerunner, since last September, of democratic
voices struggling to be heard in areas of Arab revolution and elsewhere in the world. You have
been heard and put into print; enjoy finding your signature somewhere in this issue. Like the
Phoenix itself, with its gorgeous plumage, you will find countless examples of students and
staff spreading their feathers and wings in a host of activities and creative ways.
The Phoenix Team has set out to see and show KEHS as you see it, in the whole range of articles
and contributions to this year’s issue. We commemorate with you the last onscreen outing
of everyone’s favourite Phoenix, Fawkes, in this year’s instalment of Harry Potter and the
Deathly Hallows. But, being Phoenix, it will regenerate and certainly rise from the ashes next
year, and the next, and the next … We hope this issue gives you renewed energy and life as you
peruse its pages with your own unique enjoyment of it.
The editorial team have poured out their hearts and souls, with much hard work and stress
besides. We have learned many things on the way; about each other, the student body, teachers
and the sauna conditions of working in the Junior Library every Friday afternoon!
We thank you all.
2 Mr Argust
4 Fashion Timeline
6 Africa
8 Yum.
10 High School Musical
12 Clubs & Societies
14 Mr Hammel
16 International Links
18 Dance Production
20 Comenius
22 Democracy Week
23 Charities
26 Cleobury
Enjoy!
What’s in here??
27 Dr Collison
28 Sports
30 Italian Exchange
31 Maxime
32 Ms Chambers
34 Art
42 Mongolia
44 Les Misérables
46 Dr Pop’s Life Advice
47 Summer Reading
48 The Porters
49 The Dinner Ladies
50 Skellig
51 Creative Writing
54 Auschwitz
56 What Does Your Nail
Colour Say About You?
58 Harry Potter
62 Games
63 15 Things the Thirds
Don’t Remember
64 Origami
66 Summer Playlist
67 Thank You
68 Last But Not Least
Welcome to
PHOENIX 2011
1

2
GOODBY
Every year we have to say farewell to a number of teachers, and this year there is none mo
Line, plays organ for our hymns and strikes up conversations with a random French-
Mr Argust – he leaves a pair of pretty significan
So Mr Argust, how long have you been teaching here?
Twenty seven years.
That’s a long time – what’s the funniest thing that’s ever
happened in your lessons?
People always ask this in interviews...I suppose it was
when I was teaching my first L5th in my first ever term
here, and one of them asked me (because of the piece
we were studying), ‘What’s the difference between
a counter tenor and a castrato?’ She sensed my
embarrassment and said ‘don’t worry Mr Argust;
we’ve done capons (castrated cockerels) in Biology’.
The question had obviously been a setup, which
I’d fallen right into.
What are your retirement plans?
I’ll do more music examinations and organ playing – I
might even do some practice! – and I shall play lots
of bridge. If I get bored of that, I might go and stack
shelves in M&S Food.
You must be good at bridge if you run the Friday
block...
I’m only as good as the person I’m playing with, and how
much I concentrate – which means I’m not often very
good, because of the latter!
Have you ever had a job other than teaching?
Well, my first job was at ‘The Wood Shop’ in Cradley
Heath, and then I worked in the Co-op Menswear
The combined music staff and
orchestras raise a ‘champagne
glass’ (well, bicycle pump with
a cork) to Mr Argust’s recordbreaking
teaching time at KEHS
TEACHER QUOTE
Mrs Young
“Be critical about everything you
read and about everything people
say - in fact, you should question
your teachers, but not
Miss Oldfield, she’s God.”
PHOENIX 2011 Mr. August
Department in Dudley. The best job was working in the
Queen’s Head pub in Halesowen. The most money I’ve
ever made was actually playing the organ at funerals!
What will you miss most about KEHS?
That’s a very difficult question...It’s the people in the
school, particularly the staff. I regard many of them as
very close friends, but only because we’ve been put
together in the same working environment. Even though
they’re sort of ‘switched off’ in July, those friendships are
very valuable.
Mr Argust felt so strongly about this that he found the
next question – ‘Who is your best friend in the staff
room?’ – very difficult to answer...
There are at least 10 or 12 people who I feel very close to,
I couldn’t possibly single one or two out.
How have concerts changed since you first started
working here?
The concerts themselves haven’t changed much, but the
venues have. It’s particularly special when you change
venue, so I remember when we moved from Birmingham
Central Hall, to the Town Hall, to the ABH, and then to
the Symphony Hall. We have superb second-to-none
music making in this school.

E MR A!
re notable than Mr Argust... the man who is a beacon for stranded Thirds on the Cross City
speaking person in the corridors. Our hearts are heavy as we await a school without
t size 9 shoes to fill! No pressure, Dr Collisson...
Why are you so fluent in French?
Well, in 1988 a choir from a school in Lyon came over
and I got to know the people in it, and the orchestra
went over to the school... and then in 1994 I went to
teach English at the school for a term. It’s quite difficult
to teach your own language to a group of 10 year olds if
they can’t understand you, so I had to do it in French.
Where do you get your inspiration for your profound
assemblies?
I’m glad you think they’re profound! I can’t really answer
that, they just happen – maybe I just have the gift of
the gab. You start with an idea, find things out of books
to support it, make some things up and ensure you go
round in a full circle.
Tell us about your enjoyment of aerobics...
As a music teacher, why shouldn’t I like moving to music?
Sadly I can’t do it any more; my back won’t let me. I’ve
always been sporty. I used to run a lot and ran my first
10km race in 42 minutes. (I wanted to get the time down
to 40 minutes, and it took a very young Mr Kavanagh to
point out to me how remarkable an achievement that
already was!) I never got any quicker, but I got much
slower.
Thanks Mr Argust, we’ll all miss you!
Random Quotes fRom mR aRgust duRing
this inteRview:
(in mid flow of question answering)
Oh, I’ve got dirty trousers!
Running is like school work – you have to keep going
like mad and sustain the effort.
Christmas concerts are all special in their own way – but
at the same time I’ve forgotten most of them.
Some pieces set you off and make you upset – it’s just
artistic temperament.
Mr. August
PHOENIX 2011
3

Fashion
Fashion through the years
4 PHOENIX 2011 Fashion Timeline
Thirds
Knee-high socks
Regulation hair accessories
Blazers and backpacks
Key rings and dinner tickets
Lower Fourth
Experimentation with makeup
Shirt untucked
Mobile phone
Untidy sleeves
Explosion of makeup
Side fringe
Emo accessories
Straightened hair
Upper Fourth
Red hair dye
Dangly Earrings
Flower in hair
Shoulder bag
L

Timeline
- the evolution of woman
ower Fifth
Mascara tear tracks
Belly button piercing
Revision guides
Tiny handbag
Bangles galore
Upper Fifth
Start of the year: effort made
Summer term: Pyjamas
School trip hoodie
Ugg boots
Folders
University prospectus
Lower Sixth
TEACHER QUOTE
Miss Krutin
“Stop it, stop it NOW girls!
Stop this chuntering
in the corner.”
Upper Sixth
Fashion Timeline
Tracksuits
Slippers
Pyjamas
UCAS forms
PHOENIX 2011
5

6 PHOENIX 2011 Africa

Africa
PHOENIX 2011
7

This year a team of 26 sixth
formers brought us the
innovative ‘yum.’ as part of
the Young Enterprise Scheme.
Selling a selection of delicious sweets and unique
jewellery, Yum. has tickled our taste buds from the start.
We had a little chat with the MDs of the company, Jess
and Rachel, to see what they had to say.
How did you come up with the idea of selling
sweets and jewellery?
It was Natalie’s idea! She pitched the idea to us,
although other potential contenders were scarves and
pyjamas. Flora then added to the idea by suggesting
we couple the main product with sweets to attract more
customers.
Have there been any difficulties along the
way?
Yes, we’ve had to change our suppliers since they let us
down three times but we’ve sorted it now with a new
supplier so the problem has been resolved.
8 PHOENIX 2011 Yum.
What is your most popular item (and a
sneaky question: what was your least)?
Our most popular sweet is fizzy mix, strawberries and
pretty much any other fizzy sweets. The best selling
jewellery by far is our love heart range. Our least was the
Dolly mix which we phased out.
Have you been to any events to sell your
products?
Yes, we’ve set up stands at EHS and Hallfield during their
Christmas Fairs, so that other schools got the opportunity
to browse and buy our products. We also set up a stand
in our own Christmas bazaar so that everyone was able
to see our whole Yum. collection. And we’ve also been to
Trade Fairs in Solihull and Birmingham.

What attracted you to the role of Managing
Director?
Rachel: I’m interested in business and enjoy the
experience of being part of a team.
What does your job entail?
To have objectives and ensure that everything and
everyone is working together well. Since we have two
Managing Directors we can share
the workload and we each do about
two or three hours a night when the
pressure is on.
What’s the competition like?
Although EHS is supposedly a rival
they’ve got nothing on us! They’re
also doing jewellery but at the
Christmas bazaar we were the ones
with the crowded stall.
Where is all the money going?
First and foremost all our shareholders will be
reimbursed and then some money goes to the charity
Falling Whistles.
How has Young Enterprise influenced you?
Jess: Young Enterprise has made me talk to more people
in my year. It made me want to start my own business
up.
‘I went from wanting to do marine biology to
wanting to be an Entrepreneur’
Rachel: Yum. has inspired me to mix my desire for a
career in medicine and my business mind in the future.
Yum.
PHOENIX 2011
9

We’re all in this together
On Friday 4th February at Solihull Arts Complex, two Lower
Sixth students, Amy and Emily, 19 younger aspiring actors and
a talented band of musicians brought to the stage the much
anticipated production of Disney’s High School Musical.
10 PHOENIX 2011 High School Musical

Breaking Free
Forming the theatre group ‘BEAT’, Birmingham’s
Entertaining Amateur Theatre, Amy Morgan,
Director & Producer hoped to raise as much money
as she could for Great Ormond Street Hospital’s
‘Theatres for Theatres appeal’.
“She dreamt of granting the
wishes of children all over England
requiring specialist brain surgery.”
To find out more about the ‘Theatres for Theatres’
Appeal, take a peek at the website:
www.gosh.org/gen/theatres-for-theatres/
theatres-home
There’s not a star in heaven
that we can’t reach
With a sell out audience of over 300 people and a
total sum of £3000 raised, the show was undoubtedly
a roaring success!
“Drama is more than just a hobby,
it’s a passion”
Get your head in the game!
After such an inspiring performance and a welldeserved
standing ovation, Phoenix had a chat with
the driving force behind it all, Amy Morgan.
In the Director’s chair:
An Interview with Amy Morgan
First of all, are you a big fan of the High School Musical films?
I think the films are a guilty pleasure for everyone! But yes, I love
a bit of HSM... well more, I love a bit of Zac Efron all sweaty on the
basketball court!
Was it tough securing the rights to perform it?
The rights caused us a lot of problems as it is EXTREMELY expensive
and I hadn’t much idea of what I was really signing up for. My
dad found me a HUGE document on the internet about how to get
performance rights so I used that and eventually managed to sort it
all out.
How did you find working with younger people and managing
them?
Luckily for Emily and me, we had a lovely cast who were very
enthusiastic about the performance and so they worked very
hard in rehearsals. We did have the occasional difficult rehearsals
and I had to put on my shouting voice but most of the time it all
went really well! And it was better having two of us, to share the
responsibility.
Working with younger people can be hard, though, when it
comes to the logistics of performing in a theatre because of legal
requirements.
Have there been obstacles along the way?
Many obstacles, the main one probably being finding a backcloth for
the set as it was difficult to find one within our very low budget.
How many hours did you guys put in a week?
We rehearsed Tuesday lunch, Tuesday after school until 5:30 and
after Christmas we also did Thursday after school until 5:30 so a
lot of time was spent rehearsing. It was great the cast were so
committed, but Emily and I probably spent an extra 5 or so hours a
week organising. (And this is alongside AS subjects…)
Are you hoping to put on another production?
I would love to put on another production but possibly on a smaller
scale. I am running BEAT on a Tuesday after school which is a
musical theatre club for the Lower 4th, Upper 4th and Lower 5th
and we are working towards a small performance for the Fete and
possibly towards a small scale variety show next year... who knows
what the future holds!
Has this
experience
made you
want to do
drama in the
future?
I definitely
want to go in
to theatre;
the whole
experience
is one I will treasure and it has enhanced my love of, and passion
for, theatre. Emily was also inspired by the experience and wants to
go into the film industry.
I met and worked with some incredible people and thoroughly enjoyed
the whole project; it has left me hungry for more!
High School Musical
PHOENIX 2011
11

Junior Politics Society
12 PHOENIX 2011 Clubs & Societies
It’s Party time!
Time: Friday, 1:10-1:55
Place: C2
Debating Society
Time for motions
not potions
Time: Thursday, 12:50-1:50
Place: Lecture Theatre
Origami
Taking you into the
fold!
Time: Friday, 1:10-1:50
Place: Russian Room
Senior Philosophy
Society
Kant you come?
Time: Wednesday,
1:10-1:50
Place: C4
BE THERE!
K
Th
Tue
Thur
Place:

nitting Club
ey knit their own
shreddies
Time:
sday, 1:00-1:50
sday, 12:40-1:50
Food Studies Room
:
:
Manga Club
Maths Breakfast Club
Find the √of all
your problems
Mango with an A
Time: Friday, 1:10-1:50
Place: C1
Time: Thursday, 8:00-8:45
Place: Room 6
BE THERE!
Very Dead Poet
Society
It’s dead fun
Time:
Friday, 1:20-1:50
Place: CR2
Clubs & Societies
PHOENIX 2011
13

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?
Ohio.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PERIOD OF HISTORY?
The Middle Ages – I’ve always liked them because I got into reading Tolkien when I was about 6,
such as the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, which have a medieval flavour.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LOWER SIXTH HISTORY SET?
Of course I do!
WHAT IS IT LIKE BEING A FATHER?
It’s something I’m still learning about. My daughter is still very young, but it’s a very different life
change. It’s a pretty amazing change when it happens; it sounds typical but it’s true!
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD?
Pasta.
HAVE YOU BEEN TOLD BEFORE THAT YOU LOOK JUST LIKE SPIDERMAN?
I have! My form was the first at KEHS to tell me that, although my form at my previous school
also told me. Hopefully they think that I look more like Tobey Maguire than Spiderman...
WHICH IS BETTER, ENGLAND OR AMERICA?
It’s not about which is better! I really like elements of both, which are really different within
themselves. I also enjoy the politics of England and America, as both systems have advantages and
disadvantages. In the States a lot of anger is channelled into politics at the moment, and I currently
find Britain interesting with the new coalition government.
IF YOU WERE TRAPPED ON A DESERT ISLAND, WHAT 3 ITEMS WOULD
YOU TAKE?
I should have thought about this one... I suppose I would take at least one history book, a device to
play music, and an umbrella - hate to be stuck in the rain somewhere!
TEACHER QUOTE
Mr Hammel
“When you think I’m going
to zig, I zag … and if that
fails I zog.”
WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU ENJOY?
I listen to a variety of things. The artists I like best
range from REM to Bob Dylan to U2 - I like other
types of music as well, such as relaxing classical
music whilst driving.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR COMBINATION FOR
SHIRTS AND TIES?
I don’t have a favourite combination particularly, despite what you may think!
Personally, I don’t like to wear the same tie every day... but as for any great
master plan in terms of fashion,
I lack one.
HOW DID YOU DO IN SCHOOL? WERE YOU A GOOD STUDENT?
I did very well! I did my undergraduate degree at Princeton in the USA and my graduate
degree at St Andrews University.
IF YOU WON A MILLION POUNDS, HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT?
Probably in a mixture of really boring and practical ways, such as paying off my mortgage.
Or exciting ways, such as travelling to parts of the world outside Europe and North America.
I think that £1 million is a lot of money, so I’d like to share it with my family,
or give some away.
WHAT’S THE FUNNIEST THING YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED SO FAR
AT KEHS?
What are you getting at? Funny in a scary sense, the whole school seemed to get a drum roll
for the karaoke advert a few months ago. Also, as a history teacher I do experience students
making funny mistakes, but it’s best not to let on. Let’s just say
that any school is full of characters!
WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW?
I really like classic British comedies, such as Yes Minister
and The Good Life; ones you don’t see very often
nowadays. I usually watch the television for the news
and current affairs, but I do enjoy comedies;
light-hearted comedies.
WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO BE
A HISTORY TEACHER?
I really liked history at school and university; I’ve
always enjoyed talking about and discussing history,
and conveying my own interpretation of it, whilst
discussing others’ views too. A combination of
enjoying the past and the ideas around it was
certainly a big influence. I definitely enjoyed it a
lot at school, and so I decided to stay.
Mr Hammel
PHOENIX 2011
15

16 PHOENIX 2011 International Links
internatio
The International Links Scheme has been established in school for some time. Led and org
students from Vancouver and Montreal in Canada, Adelaide in Australia and Christchurch
Then it is the turn of our Upper Fourth students to spend tim
Montreal Exchange 2010-2011
By Ellen Miller U4S
As part of a school exchange, Sadie, Lizzie and I ventured to
Montreal, Canada for three weeks – to a brand new school
and a brand new adventure. KEHS has done exchanges to
Vancouver, New Zealand and Australia before, but this was
the first exchange to eastern Canada. Feeling like pioneers
when we finally landed, we wondered what was in store for us
at Montreal and the school, The Study.
The Study offered so many opportunities. We made new
friends, learnt new things and tried to improve on our
somewhat lacking French. Going to Montreal, I was most
worried about the fact that everyone spoke Fluent French,
and that they would always speak it. I actually understood
the odd ‘bonjour’ and ‘ça va’, and because everyone there
is bilingual, they could switch from language to language
with a snap of a finger. The most surprising thing though was
the size. There were 29 pupils in their whole year, and two
classes of 15 and 14. I thought our school was small! Another
surprising thing was that this school was a ‘laptop school’, as
in each pupil was given a laptop to do most of their work and
homework on. That was a very different experience. Instead
of exercise books, they would be emailed their notes for a
certain topic. Their meagre amounts of homework would take
hours because they would flit between Facebook, homework
and music on YouTube. But in some ways the laptops were
useful. Carrying one small laptop rather than hundreds of
books was definitely a bonus, and all your notes together
really helped them too. We were also given laptops, but I
must admit we were rather distracted, playing games and
watching movies rather than studying!
As well as experiences at school, we loved touring another
town. Like the U.S.A, Canada has no roundabouts so we
would often ‘walk around the block’ and wander into central
Montreal skyline viewed
from Mount Royal
Montreal. The thing that surprised us most was that it was
illegal to have a shop name only in English; it had to be
in French as well. Also, as we were wandering around, the
Canadians would actually know practically everyone that
was walking past. Many people might expect Canada to be
much colder than over here, but it was relatively the same –
apart from the lack of rain! Even though it snowed on the last
weekend, there was no bitterly cold wind or rain.
Overall, this whole exchange was an amazing new
adventure; I would definitely do it again. Experiencing
another lifestyle in a different continent was certainly
something to remember, and I would highly recommend
Montreal to anyone thinking of applying to go on an
excahnge.
Class of 14
6 Exchange Students
A Typical Montreal Park

nal links
anised by Mr Barrett, we have extended our school exchanges across the globe. Several
in New Zealand have spent time at KEHS with their Upper Fourth hosts and their families.
e there. This is just one example of such an experience.
Earlier in the year, KEHS hosted two students from Rangi
Ruru School in Christchurch, New Zealand. During
their stay, we were relieved to hear that their families
and friends were safe, in the midst of the devastating
earthquake.
Coincidentally, we have heard recently from an Old
Edwardian, Jayne Brenus Johnston (formerly Lloyd), whose
family moved to Christchurch many years ago. She is now
93 years old and yet, like our Upper Fourth students, is
maintaining her own international links with her beloved KEHS.
Her home has been destroyed in the earthquake. However,
Mr Hopkinson was able to meet up with her, passing on some
gifts from the school.
Far Right: Photo of Brenus Lloyd in the 1st XI
Hockey team 1934-35
(front row, 2nd from right)
Right: Jayne Brenus Johnston
(formerly Lloyd)
It seems appropriate for us to include a photograph of her
when she was in the 1st XI Hockey team of 1934-35 and one
of her now. It says of Brenus, in her centre-half position.
The present 2010 – 11 centre-half in the 1st XI Hockey team is
Susie Campbell. She is described as
“a dedicated member with unfailing energy, superb interceptions
and fantastic pay both defensively and on the attack. She has
been voted player of the season.”
These two would enjoy meeting. Perhaps it’s the astro-turf
which makes a difference in twenty first century play!
International Links
PHOENIX 2011
17

War and Peace was the theme of this year’s Dance
Production, which took place on the 15th, 16th and
17th of March. The sell-out show provided a wide
array of music, from the White Stripes to Glenn Miller,
with each song being accompanied by spectacular
dances of very different styles, including ballet, jazz
and street.
Auditions were held in October, and were filled
with promising talent, giving
the committee the difficult
task of deciding which dances
would be in the production.
All dancers began to work
hard by attending weekly
rehearsals in order to perfect
their choreography. Although
practices were stressful at times,
they enabled the production
to be a roaring success, with
the audience and participants
loving every minute.
The backdrop for this year’s production included
reams of white fabric, which hung from every place
possible, giving a peaceful and serene atmosphere,
thanks to Stage Crew! Costumes were equally
appropriate, yet diverse, with khaki army print,
ripped fabrics, messy hair, and strikingly elegant
dresses all being worn. The senior dance costumes,
in particular, were extremely effective and many
thanks go to Mrs Moule for making them.
On the nights of the production, girls spent hours in
front of mirrors perfecting their makeup and trying to
TEACHER QUOTE
Mrs Young (to Celine)
“Celeste, I’ve found
your Pod-I!”
18 PHOENIX 2011 Dance Production
Dance Prod
WAR AN
Didja Ever
calm their nerves, even though we all knew it would
be “alright on the night”. Everything backstage ran
smoothly, and all major incidents were avoided,
apart from the inescapable problem of having
dancers going missing seconds before they were
supposed to perform! The dances this year were of
a very high standard and oozed originality, showing
a multitude of talent and skill. Larger group dances
by Thirds, Lower Fourths and Upper Fourths exuded
fun and energy, making them
extremely enjoyable to watch.
Solos were very varied, with
songs including “Imagine” by
John Lennon and “Talkin’ Bout a
Revolution” by Tracy Chapman.
Particular mention goes to Nida
Mushtaq, the Dance President,
whose solo captivated the
audience with her engaging
and unusual routine.
This year’s production was set to be the best yet, and
it certainly lived up to this expectation. All dancers
involved should be praised for their dedication
and commitment, which helped to create a fantastic
performance each night. The dancers from the
Upper Sixth will be sorely missed next year, and will
be hard to replace. The last thanks go to Mrs Smith,
who gave up countless hours helping with individual
choreography and coming up with fresh ideas, which
the dance production would be lost without!
We hope next year’s production will be just
as spectacular as this, and we look forward to
seeing it!

uction 2011
D PEACE
Hole in My Head
Battlecry
Dil Se
Peace
Warriors in Peace
Dance Production
PHOENIX 2011
19

For the last two years the school has
been working on a project with five
other European schools. The project
involves pupils working on a range
of activities involving astronomy and
measurement.
Meetings have regularly taken place at
Friday lunchtimes in which girls have
undertaken a range of projects. These
have included constructing a vertical
sundial that now adorns the wall outside
the Art Block, measuring the size of the
Earth by measuring shadow lengths
at the autumn equinox and making
our own version of monopoly called
‘Comenopoly’ to celebrate our project.
The English team enjoying the sunshine of Rome
20 PHOENIX 2011 Comenius Project
Pupils have developed their linguistic
and communication skills through a
variety of means such as reporting their
findings on a dedicated website and in
attending meetings held at the partner
schools. In these meetings, pupils
prepare contributions to, and participate
in, a variety of workshops. There are
also scientific and cultural visits to
enhance the pupils’ understanding of
the areas covered. Eighteen girls have
attended one or more of meetings held
in Rome, Oradea, Lyon and Athens
and over a hundred participated in the
activities of our own meeting at KEHS
held in March of this year.
Friends in Lyon
Here are some thoughts of Rosemary
Walmsley of the L5.
“Two years ago, before the M.E.T.E.R.
project had begun, I doubt I could have
imagined the opportunities it has given
me and everyone else involved.
Through all the workshops in the
different countries, we have learnt
so much: the astronomical side of
the project has taught us a lot of
interesting and useful science, and the
interpersonal side of the project has
helped us to understand some of the
differences between cultures but also
everything we share. There has also
been many other benefits, including
Rosemary working with Greek
and Italian friends in Athens

practising languages, learning about
history, improving presentational
skills and finding out about working in
science across Europe.
We have visited key scientific sites,
both historical and current, from the
Observatory in Paris to the Demokritus
Centre of National Research in Athens.
We have learnt about and taught many
varied aspects such as sun clocks and
fractals. We have launched a weather
balloon, solved ancient Greek problems
and virtually flown to Mars!
Culturally, staying with families has
been fantastic. It is so much better, and
also more fun, than just visiting as a
tourist, as you feel part of the country.
In addition, the hosts know and share
things about their country - including
the all important things like the best
places to go shopping and where to
buy sweets cheaply (not, as we found
out, the 2 euro ones on sale in the
planetarium café)!
Through the project, I have been lucky
enough to visit Lyon and Athens (and
to be a host in Birmingham) and have
friends who went to Rome and Oradea
in Romania. I think that everyone with
whom I have spoken about Comenius
has only had good things to say and
great stories to tell!
Proudly displaying their completed Sun Clocks
in Oradea, Romania
Comenius School Partnership
Scuola Secondaria di Primo Grado ‘G.G. Belli’, Rome, Italy
Lycée General et Technologique ‘Charlie Chaplin’, Lyon, France
School for Girls ‘King Edward VI’, Birmingham, England
Coleguil Technic ‘Mihai Viteazul’, Oradea, Romania
Open Schoolgemeenschap ‘Bijlmer’, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Lycée Francohellenique ‘Agia Paraskevi E. Delacroix’, Athens, Greece
One of the most important things has
been the friendships we have made.
I can’t think of many other ways in
which we would have made friends in
six different countries. We’ve not just
met people: we’ve worked, played and
often laughed together (particularly
at the teachers’ dancing skills!)
I think we only realised how close we
had become when the time came to
finally say goodbye in Athens. There
were lots of tears and hugs (slightly
inconvenient for the other passengers
trying to get off the plane in Zurich as
the French and English teams left for
their respective destinations…). Luckily
the internet enables us to easily keep
in touch. We’re already making plans
to visit each other again, so hopefully
Comenius is only the start…”
Learn more about the project by visiting
the project website
http://isheyevo.ens-lyon.fr/eaae/groupspace/METER
TEACHER QUOTE
Mr Hope
“You’ve made me want
to be a woman!”
Comenius Project
PHOENIX 2011
21

W i t h
r e v o l u t i o n
sweeping the Middle East, it was
time for KEHS to take part in the Arab Spring with its
very own Democracy Week. Georgia Luscombe (U6) decided we all should
be educated about the historical events occurring everywhere from Tunisia to
Bahrain, and have a go at exercising some democratic rights of our own. To
this end, the tireless Georgia put in a huge effort to pull off a week of fun and
freedom, starting with her highly informative assembly about the events in the
Middle East on the Monday. Tuesday brought Georgia’s talk in Politics Society:
“Is Democracy Best?” which sparked a typically heated debate, with everyone’s
strong opinions expressed and duly challenged. We ended up disputing,
perhaps inevitably, whether or not we were in Libya for the oil. This issue was
raised again in Debating Society’s special topical Democracy Week debate,
scheduled for Thursday, with the motion “This house would intervene in struggles
for democracy abroad.” With Sophie Gammage and Ruth Maclean proposing
the motion and Pardeep Wilkhu and Fatima Iftikhar opposing, the debate
proved exciting, with passionate speeches and convincing performances from
both sides. Victory, however, finally went to the proposition. Throughout the
week excitement mounted for the school election, scheduled for Friday. Anyone
was allowed to form a party and the 7 shortlisted manifestos were distributed
around school, along with copious campaign posters by all the parties. The
rivalry grew as heavyweights Unity battled it out to triumph at the polls with
such varied opponents as The Toast Party, Children Have A Voice, The Revised
Communist Party, The Big Bens, Resolute and The Future Party. Adverts were
shown in assembly and many hundreds of campaign flyers were dispersed
around school. The final ballot took place at Friday lunchtime in the Entrance
Hall, with the universal franchise calling staff and students alike to cast their
votes. With an impressive turnout, Unity finally swept to victory. Well done to
Unity for an amazing campaign effort and to all the other parties who stood
for election; the campaigns showed great imagination and commitment to
your causes. Special thanks must go to Georgia for all the work she undertook
and her enthusiasm in politicising the student body! Finally, thanks to all who
set up parties, came to watch the debate and turned out to vote. It was a
great week and reminded us how lucky we are that we are able to take
part in activities like choosing our government, even if it isn’t
a real one!
22 PHOENIX 2011 Democracy Week
TEACHER QUOTE
Mr Hammel
“Peter Rabbit is many thin
to many people, but I don
think he was a revolutionar
nationalist.”

gs
’t
y
Community Service
Ever since KEHS was founded in 1883, it has been involved in serving the
community; locally, nationally and internationally.
In the 1890’s students and Old Edwardians held cake sales, went to work in inner-city schools and ran
soup kitchens. They also ran a weekly club for female factory workers to help them with their education
and to gather round a piano to sing the popular songs of the day. During World War One, packages were
made up to send to soldiers at the front, as well as knitted socks and balaclavas. Cake sales, have, as we all
know, always been a staple feature of KEHS fund-raising events.
We have always been mindful of helping others less privileged than the pupils and staff of our own
community. Every issue of Phoenix since its start records the variety of projects KEHS has undertaken.
These range from farm trips, parties for under privileged children and the elderly, working in playgroups
and centres for disabled groups.
As well as practical involvement, KEHS pupils organise and take numerous Assemblies to raise awareness
of others’ needs, particularly in times of disasters and famines. Each Form chooses a charity to support
each year; there are weekly collections, as well as special events. This year, the school has raised over
£11,000 for a whole range of charities. Popular charities in recent years have included RNLI Lifeboats;
Teenage Cancer Trust; Help for Heroes; RSPCA; Save the Children; World Aids Day, among many others.
The whole ethos regarding community service and supporting charities has been to increase awareness
and understanding of the wider issues in the world and the ways in which pupils can contribute in their
adult lives. It is summed up by a particular award made each year; the Creak Memorial Prize. In memory of
the school’s first Headmistress, Miss Creak, it is awarded to a girl/s leaving the school from the Upper Sixth
who “by their character and general worth have best served the school” and community in its widest
sense.
But don’t think all this is done without any sense of fun! The year is full of events where pupils and staff
make utter fools of themselves, in order to support a particular event. Older girls will remember the
first ever Teachers’ Karaoke, which saw very attractive language assistants gyrating to “It’s Raining Men”.
A major event is the Summer Fete, whose themes have ranged from “Busy Bees”, “Desmond the Dinosaur”,
“Cirque de KEHS”, to this year’s “Grasstonbury”.
Charities
PHOENIX 2011
23

On Friday 18th March 2011, KEHS was invited
to take part in a special edition of Take Me Out.
Everyone contributed to this amazing day by
wearing their very own silly hats, ranging from
witches’ hats to tiger hats (roar!) to graduation
caps (forward thinking, eh?).
All donations and proceeds went to the Comic
Relief organisation, to help those in poverty.
In order to bring more excitement to the day, a
special version of the hit show, Take Me Out, was
organised by the L6TH Comic Relief committee
this year, managed by Mrs Bagnall and Mrs
Britton. Take Me Out is based on the show of the
same name, a dating programme like Blind Date
(without the blindfold). Our guest stars, who
were very charismatic and aesthetically pleasing,
included Tom Anderson and Tim Barnes from KES
and our very own Mr Hope! These young men
entertained our large, hungry audience, with
talents such as pull ups, balancing (and failing)
skills, and even some ‘exceptional’ guitar playing.
Many hearts were broken on that day, but many
new romances were established! Exciting new
TEACHER QUOTE
Miss Warne
“Don’t look out the window,
girls. Play hard to get.
It works better.”
24 PHOENIX 2011 Charities
couples
left the scene, such
as Mr Hope and the
alluring Clarissa, as
they went to spend
their passionate date
inside the exclusive KEHS Dining Hall.
As well as this fantastic event, many others
within the school also made plans to raise money
for Comic Relief. Two very brave young girls in
particular, in the Sixth Form, named Kiruth and
Lisa, undertook a great challenge, which involved
them dressing up as oompah-loompahs and then
asking around for donations and sponsors. The
comedy duo took the test further by even going in
to town to raise money. Though they felt nervous
at first, the pair had a fun, wonderful time in
raising funds.
Comic Relief this year was extra special, and was
enjoyed by all in school and millions in the UK. We
are proud to have been part of the £74.3 million
raised.

Valentine’s Day Rose Sale
Once upon a time, in a school not very far away, many girls (and the odd KES
boy) sat waiting nervously in lessons for a sign from their true love.
Delivered by the cupids of KEHS, (formerly the U6th) these roses brought joy and
happiness to a fortunate few, and to the rest the tragic realisation that they were
going to be forever alone. The rose sale this year raised £100 for charity – proof that
love really is all you need!
Old People’s Parties
At the end of the Autumn term and Spring term, we had our usual
parties for the elderly.
These annual events are organised by the sixth form, who arrange for
visitors from day care centres to come into school. As always, the standard
of entertainment was high, with girls singing, dancing and even putting
on a performance from the cast of ‘High School Musical.’ Of course, these
parties would not be complete without some jolly games of bingo, which are
enjoyed by the girls as well as the guests. Altogether, they were very enjoyable afternoons and show the
importance of caring for others.
L6th Charity Week
L6th Charity Week took place from Monday 13th to Friday 17th December with all money going
to KIDS, a charity for disabled children.
KaraoKe
It is the most anticipated event of the year...
For one day lunchtime will change...
People will queue...
People will cut queues...
That’s right you guessed it, it’s the 125th anniversary!
LOL JK! It’s the Karaoke! (report)
The Karaoke is an occasion that fuels our competitive
nature and this year was no different. The theme was
‘songs you hate to love’.
There were some very ‘interesting’ entries, including
an appearance from Twilight’s Jacob and Edward
Cullen (always appreciated), some pregnant chavs
and a re-enactment of Henry VIII’s six wives (History
Department, you’ve taught us well), at least we think
that’s what it was...it was all a bit of a blur.
Songs:
3rds - Beat Again, JLS, L4th - Jump, Girls Aloud, U4th
- Crashed the Wedding, Busted, L5th - Stop, Spice Girls
and U5th - Tragedy, Steps.
After a hard ten minutes of judging and a brief
interval of sing-a-longs combined with glow-sticks, the
winners were announced and received a teddy bear
coupled with Yum. products.
6th Form Pyjama Day
Random overheard Third: “I don’t think the sixth
formers are allowed to wear pyjamas to school”.
Well you sure were wrong!
Lower 6th and Upper 6th joined together for one day.
They wore weird and wonderful pyjamas and outfits,
carrying their teddy bears. All in the name of charity.
Teachers BaTTle oF The BanDs
The day we learn that inside every teacher is a
dancing genius, a burgeoning choreographer and
the desire to dress up as woman, unless they are
women...in which case that would be expected.
The sports teachers did a fantastic rendition of Take
That’s ‘Relight My Fire’...and boy, they sure did. The
R.S. teachers and friends lit up the stage with their
performance of the Jackson 5’s ‘ABC’, complete with
afros. Lastly, Mr Hope, Maxime and Mr Shepherd took
the opportunity to dress up as women with blonde
wigs and performed Britney Spears’ ‘Hit Me Baby One
More Time’ and were the winning act of the event.
Charities
PHOENIX 2011
25

Cleobury Report
Hyperactive teenagers...complaints about the cold...strange outfits materialising
on Saturday night...What could it be but Cleobury?!
Symphony Orchestra arrived at the Pioneer Centre, Cleobury Mortimer on the afternoon of Friday 4th March. We got
straight down to rehearsing once we’d dumped our luggage in the (freezing) Sports Hall. Choral Society turned up to
join in the fun just in time for our safety briefing, tour and meal. (Mr Monks felt the need to chip in with a reminder
about our, ahem, long standing issues with the fire alarms, not that many of us needed it.) A few hours
of rehearsing later and the building was full of exhausted Edwardians nearly
ready to fall asleep at 10pm.
Saturday morning dawned with the sound of Dr Collisson shouting, ‘Altos, make
more noise!’ and Mr Bridle exasperatedly cursing the viola section. As the day
progressed, it became increasingly difficult to control our amusement as balloons
and Post-it notes mysteriously made their way to Mr Monks’s and Dr Collisson’s
respective rooms. Before too long it was time for the annual Barn Dance. Your
Phoenix team was very distressed at the lack of their favourite barn dances, but
this sorrow soon went away when the U6th walked in. Well, we say the U6th, but
you could easily have thought Spongebob Squarepants, a diver, two ‘beach models’,
the Milkybar Kid, a gypsy fortune teller and a horse had decided to gatecrash.
Mr Bridle got a chance to prove to us that he really is a jockey in secret!
The antics continued well into Sunday morning when the orchestra woke up to find
their rehearsal room had been turned into Dr Who’s Tardis, complete with silver (foil)
walls and flooring. The U6th boys then announced that they had recorded a few of
Mr Bridle’s favourite sayings, and played said recording to us. We knew this would never go well when the first words
were ‘Violas, how many times have I told you...’. It must be documented that on hearing this recording Mr Bridle made
a public apology to the orchestra - after which he promptly insulted the 2nd violin section. (He managed not to say
anything too derogatory when we performed in front of Choral Society, though.)
TEACHER QUOTE
Mr Cooper
“That boy attacked a horse.
It was more of a sexual nature. The
horse said it was most satisfying; so
anyway … ‘ad oppugnandum equos’.”
26 PHOENIX 2011 Cleobury Mortimer
The Musical Time Lord in his new Tardis
All too soon it was time for the orchestra to depart, and Choral
Society followed suit after another rehearsal and a run through.
We would like to thank the Music Departments for
organising the trip - and thank them in advance for
putting up with us next year, too!

September 2010 brought a new musical legend teacher into the lives of the girls at KEHS. Dr. Collisson, an
ex University of Birmingham lecturer, arrived just across the road at our gates filled with enthusiasm and anticipation
of what he had just let himself into... Look out everyone; we’ve got a new musical genius roaming the corridors!
How’s life?
Good, very good. As long as life has music in it, life is
always good ;D
What colour socks do you have on today?
Black, I always wear black socks, in fact they’re odd
today,
Odd socks?
Yes *shows socks* look, this one says Thursday, this one
says Friday, they rarely match as a pair but they’re always
black *smile*
How’s school? Enjoying yourself? Is it really different
from teaching in the university? Do you miss it? Which
do you prefer?
Yes, exhausting I’d say but rewarding.
I looooooove L6Cl ;D ! It’s different, I miss it a little, but
the standard of playing here is very high so that makes
it great.
If you had to pick one song to reflect your personality,
what would it be?
Song? God....I’m too complicated to pick just one!
Who’s your favourite class? (L6CL)
That I teach or in general?
*cough*L6Cl*cough*
*LOL* yes of course! But those that I teach, I won’t choose,
that would be invidious*
(*phoenix team had trouble spelling this)
Who’s your idol?
Jacqueline Dupre; she was a prodigious cellist who died
of multiple sclerosis in the late 70s
Are you reading a book right now? (What book?)
Harry Potter - Order of the Phoenix is but one of three
books I’m reading. I’ve read the first four and I MUST read
the last three, hopefully before the end of the year. I’ve
never read them before!
If you were stuck on a desert island, what three things/
people would you take?
Endless supply of chocolate! (he was adamant about
this)
And my cello - I can’t live without my cello :D
*thinks* hmm...
*cough* L6Cl *cough*
HAHAHA
Hmm..would I be able to have a laptop..ooh with WiFi?
*waggles eyebrows ;)*
What’s your favourite food and why?
I’m such a pig- I’ll eat anything really :P
It’s hard to say, my tastes are eclectic
But I could tell you what I don’t like to eat..liver..kidneys
and any type of offal...eurgh
Do you have any gossip for us?!
*creases*
I always have gossip for L6Cl
But here’s a fact, I was playing in a concert the other
week, with a good friend, and he’d recently been on tour
with Sting for the past few months
WOWWW
And finally, do you know that your form loves you and
thinks you’re amazing?!
LOL, the feeling’s mutual! :D
Thank you very much for your time, you’ve been
GREAT! :D
Dr. Collison
PHOENIX 2011
27

NETBALL
This year the Netball exhibited across the school has been of an excellent
standard. A few particular mentions should go to the U12 and U13 teams
who beat all opposition to clinch first place in their county tournaments,
and the U16 team who won a place in this year’s regional tournament,
after being narrowly placed second in their earlier county tournament.
The Sports Department also set up a regular shooting club on Thursday
lunch times for budding players and helped several girls to achieve their
beginners’ umpiring award.
SWIMMING AND LIFEGUARDING
The KEHS swimming pool has been put to good use, with
swimming lessons of varying degrees of difficulty lower down
the school. This hard work culminated in victory in the
Bromsgrove Gala where the KEHS team won first place.
Many girls have taken advantage of their Friday afternoons
since September to take part in a lifeguarding course. As a
result, we now have lots of qualified lifeguards in our school
community. Well done girls!
HOCKEY
Like Netball, this year several Hockey teams have excelled. All
years put up a good fight in their county tournaments held on our
very own astro pitches and the U13 and U15 teams were victorious
in their tournaments. Aside from tournaments this year, our Hockey
players have been consistently battling against the elements on
cold, early Saturday mornings, but what is most commendable is
that they never fail to preserve their enthusiasm for the sport.
A FOND FAREWELL
After reaching the grand old age of 70 I have decided it is time for me to leave.
I have enjoyed the 16 years I have worked in the Sports Department and I
shall, in many ways, be sorry to go. I will miss my colleagues in the Sports
Department and, of course, the girls, but I do hope to see some of you at
future sporting events. However, there is one thing which won’t be missed
and that’s Mr Kavanagh’s jokes! I take with me many happy memories.
Au revoir, Ken Stone
28 PHOENIX 2011 Sport
This academic year has again been bursting
Here is a short summary of the hectic going

with sporting opportunities and achievements.
s on in the Sports Department, 2010-2011.
TENNIS AND ROUNDERS
This Summer we held The Midland Girls’ Schools’ Lawn Tennis League
which was celebrating its centenary year. Although initially disturbed by
characteristic British rain, the tournament quickly got into full swing as the
spectators enjoyed the exhibition and the spectacular cake made for the
occasion. The Fry Cup was also held between the King Edward’s Foundation
Schools, in which all girls played brilliantly. Rounders matches have taken
place throughout the Summer term, with the ever present sun cream, the
occasional summer shower and, of course, buckets of enthusiasm.
AND LET’S NOT FORGET
The U12 gymnastics team achieved first place in the
Birmingham Schools’ Gymnastics Competition. Gymnastics
club has grown due to an influx of thirds this year, who
promise a bright future for KEHS gymnastics. The first
volleyball tournament ever in the history of KEHS was held
at school, illustrating the broadening of available sports
in school today. The renovations to the school gym will be
finished by the end of Summer and will be ready and waiting
for use on everyone’s return in September. Fencing has also
flourished this year, as a great way of socialising and having
fun while learning a traditional sport. This year some of our
U5th girls have competed on a national level and we hope to
enter more competitions next year. A fight against the boys
of KES across the drive is also on the horizon! The running of
Badminton, Football, Rugby and Netball clubs has continued
throughout the year and a fabulous Easter End of Season
Tournament for Netball and Hockey was arranged, which
featured a range of costumes from “sleepwear” to “devils”.
KEN STONE
What a man! When Ken leaves the PE Department on Thursday 7th July it will be a sad day. When he puts down
his glasses and diary (if he finds them) for the last time, the Department will be a sadder place. Ken has been
lead Sports Warden at KEHS for 16 years and is hanging his urn up in order to spend more time with his family
- in particular his 3 grand-children. Quite apart from being Sports Warden, Ken has been a ‘jack of all trades’:
making the PE Department, girls and visitors countless cups of tea; fixing everything (especially the chocolate
vending machines); finding things (if he can find his glasses) and bringing us cream cakes! We will all really
miss Ken but wish him all the very best for a happy retirement.
The Sports Department
Sport
PHOENIX 2011
29

Italian Exchange
A quick mention for the 2011 Italian exchange programme with the
Liceo Scientifico of Vasto, in the region of Abruzzo, and all the hard work which
went into it.
Being one of the smaller departments within the vast expanse of subjects available
to students at KEHS, Italian is more often overlooked than French, Spanish or
the sciences, and yet certainly deserves equal credit for student enjoyment and
enrichment in preparation for exams.
During the Easter holidays, many girls from the GCSE and A level classes for Italian
flew over to sunny central Italy for a week, to stay with our exchange students and
their families and to take extra language classes at the school. Everyone had an
absolutely fantastic time, and special thanks should especially go to Signora Rita
D’Aquila and Mrs Moloney for organising the whole thing.
TEACHER QUOTE
Mrs Hosty
“I practically believe in
everything.
I believe in fairies, but I’m
just crazy.”
30 PHOENIX 2011 Italian Exchange
Grazie a tutto!

“I am not a figure of authority, I am just very cool!”
Hi Maxime. Thanks for agreeing to an interview with us!
So first question – why did you decide to learn English?
Well, during my childhood I used to love the Spice Girls...for that reason I decided to
learn English rather than German!
Do you have a best friend at KEHS?
So many to choose from... I think I would say that we have a gang at school now,
with Mr Hope, Mr Gilbert, My Mackinnon, Mr Shepherd, Mr Kavanagh... I have good
contact with the teachers; they are very friendly.
And what do you think of the girls here?
Very funny behaviour! The Phoenix Team have run away from me before! I think I
must look like one of those monsters to you! I will go with what the teachers say
though, that the girls are clever, very intelligent, beautiful, almost perfect...this is what
the teachers say, of course! The girls are all very friendly with me, cool; there is a
relaxed atmosphere which is great.
Who would you say is your favourite British celebrity?
It is difficult to pick someone who is not in America! I think I will say Wayne Rooney.
He is my favourite football player, even though he has had some, er, problems...
Exactly how old are you, Maxime?
How old do I look?
[Rosie takes a guess] Twenty?
I am glad you think so!
Is it true?
Not quite, I was 22 on 23rd January.
So how did you celebrate your 21st?
It was during the summer - my brother came home and we had a very big party, with
almost 200 people, and lots of French wine! We had fun, as lots of people wanted to
see my motorbike.
[We agree – most of us wouldn’t object to Maxime on a motorbike!]
Now we know how old you are, how old do you feel inside?
Oh I am sure it depends. When I am with my friends having fun I feel much younger,
and with teachers I feel older. You have to be serious and act older sometimes, when
you must have an opinion during lessons, but it is always very important to stay
younger in your head. Even if you are 40!
If you were stuck on a desert island and could only have three possessions, what
would you take?
Hmm, what a difficult question...I think I would take my MP3 player; I am openminded
with music as I am a drummer [the interview is momentarily sidetracked as
Maxime and Sophie bond over their shared love of playing the drums].
I would also take...do not laugh at me...my weights! I don’t want to be fat! And...some
kind of book, with words from my friends and family, to help me in the years alone.
Very sentimental, Maxime! Here’s a random question – what colour socks are
you wearing?
My socks?! I think I am wearing black today [checks], yes, I am. I always wear
uni-colour socks, black or white. Sometimes teachers at this school have very
eccentric socks - I prefer to be sober!
And finally, do you have any gossip for the Phoenix Team?
What is this, gossip? Do you mean like Gossip Girl? [Interviewers burst out laughing]
No, no! Do not write that I watch Gossip Girl, I do not! Ok...I suppose you can write
that. It’s funny, no?
Maxime
PHOENIX 2011
31

Phoenix: What made you interested in Classics?
Ms C: Well, actually, at first I was more interested in Modern Languages because
studying Classics wasn’t an option at my school. I went to university to study
French but soon decided I hated the language lab where you listen to the
tapes with headphones, so I switched to Classics and took up Greek. You could
tell I hadn’t read the set text because for a whole year I wrote “Judo” instead of
“Juno” in my notes.
Phoenix: What did you want to be when you were younger?
Ms C: I mainly wanted to travel, so I liked the idea of teaching English abroad.
Phoenix: What were your first impressions of KEHS?
Ms C: I really liked it, the girls are really nice. They smell much nicer than boys,
whom I used to teach. Yeah, in general all the girls are much cleaner
and more fragrant than boys.
Phoenix: Who was your most inspiring Classics teacher?
Ms C: Well, I had Simon Goldhill as a lecturer at uni. Do you know him? (blank
faces) Well, he’s sort of a celebrity classicist, and he looked a bit like a satyr.
Debauchery and Classics tend to go hand in hand really.
Phoenix: What’s the funniest thing a pupil’s ever done in your class?
Ms C: One girl, while we were translating a passage from CLC when they
sacrifice a “snow white lamb”, got a bit confused and was adamant that they
were sacrificing “Snow White” and had a miniature fit in the lesson. Another
person translated a passage of the Iliad as “Hector’s feet pierced by thongs”.
That made me laugh.
Phoenix: Is there anything in your school career that you
look back on and cringe?
Ms C: If I’m honest, most of it. I was quite bored and naughty in school.
We were horrible to a young Maths teacher guy. He had terrible body odour
and we used to throw things around the room, generally playing up. I feel awful
now. He was probably just a nice, genuine guy who wanted to teach, and we
made his life a misery, although what we did was nothing compared to the
older years. But now I apologise profusely.
32 PHOENIX 2011 Ms Chambers

Phoenix: How do you think Classics is relevant to the modern world?
Ms C: It’s everywhere; the western world is privileged with all its classical history.
Everything around us is influenced by it; literature, works of art, architecture,
modern language. Yeah, everything.
Phoenix: Why’s the Classics Department the best in the school?
Ms C: Obviously it’s because the Classics Departments have the oddest
teachers in schools. I’ve met Classics teachers who genuinely think they’re
Roman and make jokes in ancient Greek. Classics teachers all over the world
are renowned for their dress sense and interesting humour.
Phoenix: Do you have any interesting hobbies?
Ms C: Not really, I’m quite boring, I just read books. I’ve always been
quite bookish.
Phoenix: Who’s your best friend in the staff room?
Ms C: I’d say Miss Dicker, but also Mr Cooper. He has a mechanical rat as well
as the rest of his pig collection on his desk.
Phoenix: Who’s your favourite character from CLC?
Ms C: Quintus is my hero. I mean he’s a bit square and annoying, but he does
save everyone; he’s good future husband material. Clemens is too religious
really; he does go off with Isis… and make friends with a cat. Salvius has a bit of
an edge and Grumio, well he’s just a player, a bit of a lad. So yeah, I’ll have to
go with Quintus.
Phoenix: Do you think the sixth form Classics room should have an age
restriction due to the *cough* interesting *cough* paintings?
Ms C: Well, no, sex and death is Classics; it is Latin.
Phoenix: And finally, snog, marry, avoid; Caecilius, Caesar and Ovid?
Ms C: I think I’d snog Caesar because I’d have all the power but he is a
bit of a player. I’d marry Ovid because I like his humour; we’d have good
conversations. I’d avoid Caecilius, I’m not a fan of the warts!
Ms Chambers
PHOENIX 2011
33