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INPRINT<br />
• Democracy? What democracy? (Pg. 2)<br />
• Annie Dillard is a great reader. (Pg. 5)<br />
Fall 2006, Issue 4<br />
Oct. 17 - Oct. 30 Serving Eugene Lang College and the <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> Community<br />
Copyright © 2006 Inprint<br />
A skewer of vegetables on a grill in the Lang cafeteria. Matthew Mann<br />
Fresh Food in the Cafeteria<br />
An Exercise in Sustainability<br />
By Rob Hartman<br />
A crowd gathered in the cafeteria<br />
late last Wednesday to eat<br />
barbecued vegetables and grilled<br />
spinach sandwiches, made by the<br />
Sustainability Committee, Lang’s<br />
first and only environmental<br />
group.<br />
While serving shish-kebabs of<br />
eggplant and other vegetables<br />
from the Union Square Green<br />
Market and Food Liberation<br />
Health Market, members informed<br />
students and faculty of the<br />
importance of the local farming<br />
economy, and collected 98 signatures<br />
on their petition to urge<br />
<strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>’s dining service,<br />
Chartwells, to buy local foods.<br />
“We are about mitigating the<br />
negative environmental impacts<br />
that we participate in and observe<br />
on campus,” said James Subudhi,<br />
the group’s interim president. <strong>The</strong><br />
committee works to implement<br />
various greening projects, which<br />
get the school to institutionalize<br />
environmentally friendly practices.<br />
<strong>The</strong> Sustainability Committee<br />
formed in Fall of 2005 and soon<br />
began pushing greening projects.<br />
Last Spring, they surveyed recycling<br />
facilities around campus<br />
and created spreadsheets locating<br />
where different kinds of receptacles<br />
could be placed to maximize<br />
efficiency, Subudhi said.<br />
Meanwhile, the group asked<br />
that <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>’s Facility<br />
Department make signs for receptacles<br />
on every building floor.<br />
Facilities brought more recycling<br />
bins to school offices. <strong>The</strong> group<br />
hopes bins can be provided for<br />
individual dorm rooms, as well,<br />
said Subudhi.<br />
Another recent event the committee<br />
organized was a workshop<br />
InsIde InprInt:<br />
Fun in drag! (Pg. 6)<br />
on how to compost common<br />
waste, such as banana peels and<br />
coffee grounds, to be recycled<br />
into fertilizer and sold to farmers.<br />
According to Subudhi, it is a<br />
basic environmental concern to<br />
understand the relationship between<br />
the <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> and its resources.<br />
“<strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> has to get<br />
electricity from somewhere, it has<br />
to get water from somewhere. It<br />
produces waste. That waste has to<br />
go somewhere. <strong>The</strong>se are all issues<br />
that arise just from the day to<br />
day maintenance of the university<br />
that impact the environment,” he<br />
said.<br />
This semester, the committee is<br />
focusing on how food is sold on<br />
campus, said communications officer<br />
Zeno Levy. <strong>The</strong> group plans<br />
to highlight the negative impact<br />
food production has on the environment<br />
and how to improve it.<br />
Supporting local farms is an<br />
important part of sustaining<br />
the environment, Subudhi said.<br />
Large-scale industrial agriculture<br />
creates over-processed and<br />
under-nourishing food, and uses<br />
large amounts of water and pollutant,<br />
synthetic fertilizers and<br />
pesticides, an informational print<br />
out at the event read.<br />
Independent and family farms<br />
use production methods, such as<br />
free range cattle grazing, that<br />
make healthier food and generate<br />
less waste and pollutants, the<br />
print out reads. It also takes farmers<br />
less time and energy on local<br />
farms to transport products to<br />
markets, reducing carbon dioxide<br />
emissions, Subudhi said.<br />
“We have a farmer’s market,<br />
which is probably the best in<br />
all of <strong>New</strong> York City, an orange<br />
throw away from where we go to<br />
class,” Subudhi said.<br />
<strong>New</strong> York coyotes. (Pg. 8)<br />
deans, new provost Look to the Future<br />
By Peter Holslin<br />
When Ben Lee, <strong>The</strong><br />
<strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>’s recently appointed<br />
provost, and the<br />
deans of each <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong><br />
division, met last summer<br />
to take inventory of the<br />
university’s academic offerings,<br />
they made some<br />
startling discoveries. For<br />
instance: the university offers<br />
more than 100 courses<br />
under the heading of “urban<br />
studies.”<br />
“It turns out we have a<br />
shocking amount of urban<br />
studies going on here,”<br />
Michael Schober, Dean<br />
of <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> for<br />
Social Research, later told<br />
Inprint. But, he added, Provost Ben Lee Alexander Porter<br />
there is a catch: most of<br />
the courses are only available to<br />
students in their respective divisions.<br />
“It’s kind of weird that students<br />
at one school don’t really<br />
get to benefit from all of the rest<br />
of it,” Schober said.<br />
In many ways, the urban studies<br />
situation encapsulates <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong><br />
<strong>School</strong>’s biggest challenge—to<br />
function as one integrated whole<br />
rather than eight semi-autonomous<br />
divisions, and to prevent<br />
resources that could be beneficial<br />
for the entire community from<br />
falling by the wayside because<br />
of outdated, conflicting and redundant<br />
bureaucratic structures.<br />
Administrators insist that plans<br />
are underway to rework the university’s<br />
budget and develop new<br />
governance strategies, which will<br />
increase cooperation between<br />
divisions and ultimately lead to<br />
the development of true university-wide<br />
programs. At the same<br />
time, they acknowledge that unforeseen<br />
conflicts may arise in the<br />
coming months, as the first phase<br />
of this ambitious and complicated<br />
process unfolds.<br />
One of the key agents of change<br />
is likely to be the new provost,<br />
or chief academic officer. <strong>New</strong><br />
<strong>School</strong> President Bob Kerrey<br />
appointed Lee to the position on<br />
July 1st, replacing Arjun Appadurai,<br />
who resigned abruptly last<br />
spring and is now one of Kerrey’s<br />
advisors.<br />
<strong>The</strong> provost office is a relatively<br />
new and underdeveloped position<br />
at the <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>. Since President<br />
Jonathan Fanton, who served<br />
from 1982 to 1999, created the<br />
post late in his term, no provosts<br />
have yet finished their appointed<br />
terms, Lee said.<br />
According to Lee, when Appadurai<br />
became provost in 2002,<br />
he expected to find a developed<br />
office similar to those of universities<br />
like the University of Chicago,<br />
where he served as a fulltime<br />
professor before coming to<br />
the <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>. Instead, he discovered<br />
he had to build the office<br />
himself.<br />
Appadurai was at a disadvantage<br />
because the university is “budgetdriven,”<br />
Lee said. This year’s<br />
Campus Master Plan, which maps<br />
out future construction plans, reports<br />
that the university relies on<br />
tuition for 75% of its operation.<br />
Appadurai had to balance a growing<br />
student population, a relatively<br />
measly endowment that grew<br />
CONTINUeD ON PAGe 5<br />
Questionable Police Tactics?<br />
By Leijia Hanrahan<br />
On Saturday, October 7th, the<br />
weekend was off to a cloudy beginning<br />
as the Minutemen, a volunteer<br />
group that rounds up illegal<br />
immigrants at U.S. borders, and<br />
several sympathetic and affiliated<br />
citizen’s groups, gathered at the<br />
Mexican consulate in midtown. A<br />
group of counter-protesters were<br />
there to greet them.<br />
<strong>The</strong> scene was almost comical<br />
from across the street: two<br />
groups of demonstrators, both<br />
in separate “protest pens” (areas<br />
sectioned off by small removable<br />
barricades), facing each other on<br />
the sidewalk, one on either side<br />
of the consulate’s main door, with<br />
Mets have more fun. (Pg. 3)<br />
<strong>The</strong> First Phase of a Complex Plan<br />
First-Person Report<br />
police standing around in the<br />
blocked-off street. Signs and flags<br />
waved, insults were shouted back<br />
and forth. <strong>The</strong> counter-protestors<br />
easily outnumbered the Minutemen<br />
at least two to one. Soon,<br />
things got ugly.<br />
Police dragged one man out of<br />
the counter-protest pen and into<br />
the street, where they searched<br />
and arrested him—for spitting on<br />
the ground, a health code violation.<br />
Sergeant Mirabal of the 17th<br />
precinct pointed mace and a taser<br />
gun point-blank at those who<br />
calmly approached the scene to<br />
get a phone number for the arrestee’s<br />
lawyer.<br />
Shortly after the Minutemen<br />
recited the pledge of allegiance<br />
65 West 11th Street, Rm 350, <strong>New</strong> York, NY 10011<br />
Prefix First Mid Last<br />
Ad dress_1 , Add ress_2<br />
City, State Z ip<br />
Country<br />
and left, kindly escorted by the<br />
NYPD, their counter-protestors<br />
stayed on the sidewalk, pondering<br />
the best way to get to where the<br />
spitting arrestee was being held.<br />
Mirabal ordered them to disperse.<br />
One man began to respond, “this<br />
is a public sidewa--” when the<br />
Sergeant shouted, “Come here,<br />
you motherfucker!” and chased<br />
after him, across the intersection<br />
and down the block. Counter-protestors<br />
followed. A few minutes<br />
later, five more people had been<br />
arrested - including the author<br />
of this article, who spent the following<br />
36 hours in three different<br />
jails.<br />
It wasn’t until the early hours<br />
of Monday morning that everyone<br />
was finally released, facing<br />
charges like “inciting a riot.” Our<br />
court date is November 13th.
2 editorials<br />
INPRINT<br />
eugene Lang College,<br />
<strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> For Liberal Arts<br />
65 West 11th St.<br />
Room 070<br />
<strong>New</strong> York, NY 10011<br />
212-229-5100 ext. 2212<br />
<strong>inprint</strong>@newschool.edu<br />
Editor in Chief:<br />
Peter Holslin<br />
Managing Editor:<br />
Nadia Chaudhury<br />
Production Associate:<br />
Kayley Hoffman<br />
Advertising Director:<br />
Jen Cernitz<br />
Business Associate:<br />
Sophie Friedman<br />
<strong>New</strong>s Editor:<br />
Liza Minno<br />
<strong>New</strong>s Deputy:<br />
Hannah Rappleye<br />
Opinions Editor:<br />
Zach Warsavage<br />
Entertainment Editor:<br />
Almie Rose Vazzano<br />
Entertainment Deputy:<br />
Nora Costello<br />
Photography Editor:<br />
Alexander Porter<br />
Photography Deputy:<br />
Tyler Magyar<br />
Graphics Editor:<br />
Blake Leonard<br />
Illustrator:<br />
Jeremy Schalagen<br />
Copy Editors:<br />
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Faculty Advisors:<br />
Rob Buchanan, Sean elder,<br />
Margo Jefferson, Sarah Saffian<br />
Inprint is now soliciting advertising.<br />
For more information,<br />
contact Jen Cernitz<br />
at <strong>inprint</strong>ads@gmail.com<br />
Table of Contents<br />
page 3:<br />
• Mets > Yankees<br />
• Kim Jong-il’s nukes<br />
• Jesus freaks abound<br />
• Politeness, explained<br />
page 4:<br />
• Strategic planning<br />
• Matt Groening speaks<br />
• What’s the Haps?<br />
page 5:<br />
• Cover Stories<br />
• Around the Courtyard<br />
• Cheap Russian Mp3s<br />
• Annie Dillard<br />
• Profile: Gerney Ackman<br />
page 6:<br />
• Daily Show: the taping<br />
• Rubulad mania<br />
• Interview with Mew<br />
page 7:<br />
• Reviews<br />
page 8:<br />
• Photo essay:<br />
Governor’s Island<br />
• Flava Flav’s beauties<br />
• Steven Segal’s Asian<br />
experience<br />
except for editorials, opinions expressed<br />
herein are those of individual<br />
writers and not of Inprint. Please<br />
send any letters and submissions to<br />
<strong>inprint</strong>@newschool.edu. Inprint does<br />
not publish unsigned letters. Letters<br />
may be edited for length and clarity.<br />
Inprint is not responsible for unpublished<br />
letters or submissions.<br />
neXt sUBMIssIOn<br />
deAdLIne:<br />
OCTOBER 23<br />
Re: At Lang Activists Wants,<br />
By Jen Kolic, Oct. 3rd<br />
Three weeks ago, Congress<br />
passed President George W.<br />
Bush’s Military Commissions<br />
Act of 2006, making a failed antiterror<br />
strategy law and degrading<br />
the American justice system at<br />
the same time.<br />
<strong>The</strong> bill defines a terrorist using<br />
the mushy legal term “illegal<br />
enemy combatant,” and guts the<br />
Geneva Conventions. It suspends<br />
habeas corpus, legitimizes coerced<br />
evidence and hearsay and<br />
denies defendants access to this<br />
evidence in court. It also limits<br />
the courts’ ability to challenge<br />
these drastic changes.<br />
A <strong>New</strong> York Times editorial put<br />
it well: the bill would essentially<br />
grant President Bush “the power<br />
to jail pretty much anyone he<br />
wants, for long as he wants, without<br />
charging them.”<br />
It is hard to fathom how a bill like<br />
this was ever proposed, let alone<br />
Let me speak of the anti-war<br />
movement and its impotence.<br />
Any thinker worth half his snuff<br />
can see that the liberal Left and<br />
anti-war protestors represent<br />
only the “other half of the same<br />
coin,” as Democratic Senators,<br />
punk rockers, documentarians,<br />
students and other “liberals” continually<br />
respond to the conservative<br />
capitalist war machine using<br />
its same rhetorical methods.<br />
What, then, does the anti-war<br />
movement represent, except a<br />
polarized country?<br />
We do not ground our efforts<br />
against the war in a philosophy<br />
of altruism and non-violence.<br />
Rather, we discuss the pretenses<br />
for the war and the troop levels<br />
(as though, had Saddam Hussein<br />
possessed weapons of mass<br />
destruction, and had we won the<br />
war easily, then war itself is an<br />
excusable undertaking). Talk<br />
like, “we need more troops,” or<br />
“we need less troops,” amounts<br />
to little more than pleasurable<br />
dinner conversation. <strong>The</strong>se criticisms<br />
appease the liberal’s conscience<br />
(“I marched today, I did<br />
my duty.”) as he or she continues<br />
to enjoy the variety and luxury of<br />
American life. Meanwhile nothing<br />
is done to correct the grave<br />
errors fundamental to our system<br />
(namely, the dehumanizing effect<br />
of our economy and the emptiness<br />
caused by secularization,<br />
the exploitation of the developing<br />
world).<br />
Constitution? What Constitution?<br />
Sacrificing the American Justice System<br />
for the Mid-Term Elections<br />
adopted. In a recent multi-agency<br />
report, the US intelligence community<br />
concluded that secret prisons,<br />
rendition programs, extrajudicial<br />
detentions in Guantanamo<br />
Bay and the use of “enhanced interrogation<br />
tactics,” including using<br />
detainees as paint-ball targets<br />
and forcing them into humiliating<br />
sexual positions, had done more<br />
to embolden the international terrorist<br />
movement than suppress it.<br />
evidently, the Bush Administration<br />
would rather ignore the<br />
advice of its own experts than<br />
admit its catastrophic strategic<br />
errors. This bill would seem to<br />
make these ineffective, legally<br />
questionable and even unconstitutional<br />
methods perfectly legal<br />
and legitimate.<br />
Why didn’t the Senate filibuster<br />
this monstrous bill? Whatever<br />
happened to the Constitution?<br />
Did every politician in Congress<br />
Letters to the editor<br />
“Did the President do a good<br />
job bringing our allies into the<br />
war?” This line of questioning<br />
serves to legitimize the president’s<br />
warmongering.<br />
Our questions only concern the<br />
use of our giant military, not its<br />
existence. No one asks what right<br />
a country has to arm hundreds<br />
of thousands of soldiers with sophisticated<br />
equipment designed<br />
to obliterate other human beings?<br />
Is the existence of such a military<br />
not proof of our intentions to use<br />
it? Can death and destruction, in<br />
any context, be moral?<br />
For me, and for many people<br />
disillusioned with our society,<br />
terrorist attacks against the U.S.<br />
ought to have caused a public<br />
discussion, bringing up questions<br />
like, “Why would anyone<br />
want to perpetuate such violence<br />
against the American people?”<br />
<strong>The</strong> country’s violent reaction<br />
and the Left’s picayune criticisms<br />
of the war should disgust<br />
anyone interested in peace and<br />
happiness. <strong>The</strong> only proper thing<br />
to do is to either ignore terrorism<br />
all together, or politely invite<br />
Osama bin Laden to discuss his<br />
issues with the west. What could<br />
disarm the terrorist threat as fully<br />
as forgiveness?<br />
If we are to build a worthwhile<br />
movement against the war, it<br />
cannot be based on exploitative<br />
principles. Instead, we have to<br />
seriously examine the causes of<br />
terrorism and what an appropri-<br />
ate reaction.<br />
- Allen strouse, Junior,<br />
Lang<br />
Re: Parsons? Don’t Read<br />
This, By Justin Lane-Briggs,<br />
Oct. 3rd<br />
I found the self-righteous Lang<br />
vs. Parsons polemics published<br />
in the past few weeks to be pretty<br />
funny, and a convenient tool to<br />
wipe the extra cream cheese off<br />
my Murray‘s bagel. <strong>The</strong> student<br />
newspaper, however, isn’t the<br />
forum for this kind of blatantly<br />
controversial ego-bashing—isn’t<br />
that what blogs and the secondfloor<br />
Lang women’s bathroom<br />
stalls are for?<br />
If anything, my criticism isn’t<br />
aimed at all ya’ll haters, but at<br />
the editors who chose to include<br />
those letters in Inprint. <strong>The</strong>re’s<br />
a difference between legitimate<br />
opinions and baseless hate-driven<br />
bullshit.<br />
Which brings me to my next<br />
point: the self-deprecating hipster<br />
humor constantly making its way<br />
into this paper in some form or<br />
other is, like, so 2005. Sorry, the<br />
tight pants/clove-smoking jokes<br />
just aren’t funny anymore. either<br />
find some new material or—and<br />
here’s a novel idea—instead of<br />
trying to cover our bases by making<br />
fun of ourselves before the<br />
Princeton Review does, we could<br />
try being a little more positive<br />
about the fact that we’re not getting<br />
groped at some frat party or<br />
getting ready for “the big game.”<br />
Yeah, being cynical earns you<br />
street cred, but let’s face it—we<br />
came to <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> for a reason,<br />
and it’s not because anyone<br />
forced us, and it’s only partially<br />
just happen to forget that, in the<br />
United States, criminals are innocent<br />
until proven guilty?<br />
Of course, the Democrats’ resistance<br />
to the bill before it was<br />
passed just made them look<br />
worse, thanks to silly but effective<br />
administration catch-phrases<br />
like “stay the course” and “Defeatocrats.”<br />
<strong>The</strong> bill passed just in<br />
time for the mid-term elections—<br />
a handy tool that Republicans<br />
can use to give Americans the<br />
impression that they are dedicated<br />
to fighting the terrorist threat.<br />
In fact, they have only made the<br />
fight more difficult.<br />
<strong>The</strong> legitimacy of the Geneva<br />
Conventions, and more importantly<br />
of our own once-respected<br />
judicial system, should not be<br />
sacrificed for the sake of a midterm<br />
election. Yet that’s exactly<br />
what seems to have happened.<br />
A Call for Change Sick of it All<br />
because we didn’t get into NYU.<br />
Just a thought.<br />
- Jess sanchez, Junior,<br />
Lang, Literature<br />
I am not angry about the letter<br />
printed last issue that accused<br />
Lang students of being NYU<br />
rejects. I’m disappointed. Well,<br />
sure, maybe I am little angry.<br />
If the writer made reference to a<br />
small “Madison Ave. crew,” how<br />
could he possibly be so hypocritical<br />
as to claim that all Lang<br />
students are intellectual masturbators?<br />
Or that we all aim for the<br />
esoteric?<br />
And the NYU comment? Calling<br />
us hipsters? Today, I’ll be the<br />
pot and he can be the kettle.<br />
In all fairness, I do tease my Parsons<br />
friends about class on Friday<br />
and their nearly insurmountable<br />
workload, but I’d never be so<br />
presumptuous as to judge their<br />
intellect because of the college<br />
they chose to attend. This writer<br />
doesn’t seem to have a problem<br />
with that. I mean, why waste his<br />
time when he can make sweeping<br />
generalizatioins? Why not make<br />
the rift a little bit bigger while<br />
licking his wounds?<br />
I don’t love Lang. I don’t love<br />
Parsons, or Mannes, or the Jazz<br />
<strong>School</strong>—I love the <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>.<br />
So, I think I speak for all those<br />
who were offended by this writer’s<br />
letter when I say this: Piss<br />
off, yourself.<br />
- Hillary “Billy” Mosner, Lang,<br />
Freshman, Undecided
What to Do With Kim’s Nuke?<br />
By Linh Tran<br />
Last week, the North Koreans<br />
tested what looked by all accounts<br />
to be a nuclear weapon.<br />
I always suspected that Kim<br />
Jong Il was crazy. (I mean, come<br />
on, the man wears the same outfit<br />
every time he’s in front of a camera—and<br />
what’s with that pompadour?)<br />
But, until that Sunday<br />
night, I had never considered him<br />
a threat. Truth be told, I had never<br />
really considered anything about<br />
North Korea.<br />
This man may well have the<br />
power to vaporize us all. But no<br />
one has anything even close to an<br />
effective plan to stop him. How<br />
did things come to this?<br />
Our leaders, evidently, have<br />
been just as inattentive as I have:<br />
dismissing Kim Jong-il as a<br />
harmless paper tiger. “<strong>The</strong> world<br />
has consistently underestimated<br />
North Korea’s ‘Dear Leader,’”<br />
one TIME magazine article noted.<br />
“Of his potential to cause a bloody<br />
war on the peninsula there is little<br />
doubt. According to U.S. intelligence,<br />
Kim may have at least<br />
eight nuclear devices by now.”<br />
Uh oh. Wait, when did this piece<br />
run? In June of 2004—What?!<br />
<strong>The</strong> more I read about North Korea,<br />
the more appalled I am at the<br />
way the international community<br />
has refused to deal with the country—on<br />
any level. I’m not just<br />
referring to the resistance to military<br />
intervention when we discovered<br />
how their weapons program<br />
had developed. I’m talking about<br />
the famine that struck the country<br />
in the 1990s, a famine so severe<br />
that nearly two million people<br />
Opinions<br />
<strong>The</strong> Mets Are Better. <strong>The</strong>y Have More Fun, Too.<br />
By Josh Kurp<br />
Nearly two hours after the <strong>New</strong><br />
York Mets clinched the NL east<br />
crown, I was still at Shea Stadium<br />
drenched in champagne,<br />
beer and water. <strong>The</strong> Mets were<br />
just as soaked with bubbly when<br />
they came back out onto the field,<br />
much to the delight of the 2,000<br />
fans still in the stands. Squeezed<br />
into the front row next to the dugout,<br />
I shook hands with Jose Reyes<br />
and David Wright, drank Mike<br />
Pelfrey’s beer and got sprayed by<br />
Paul Lo Duca with the hose they<br />
use to water the field.<br />
Would fans of the Mets’ crosstown<br />
rival, the <strong>New</strong> York Yankees,<br />
have celebrated like this?<br />
Ha! When A Rod breaks out of a<br />
slump, they’re still ready to kill<br />
the guy. But at Shea it’s another<br />
story. When Mets’ shortstop Jose<br />
Reyes dropped a ball an inning<br />
after hitting an inside the park<br />
home run, the fans actually stood<br />
up and cheered the guy.<br />
I’ll admit that the Yankees have<br />
owned this town for well over a<br />
decade, and rightly so. But let’s<br />
face it: <strong>New</strong> Yorkers are sick of<br />
the whole overpaid, overrated,<br />
over-covered (by the media) act.<br />
<strong>The</strong>y want something new, and<br />
that’s where the Mets come in. I<br />
mean, would you rather choose<br />
the sulky 30-year-old A Rod or<br />
the hunky 23-year-old David<br />
Wright? I think you’ll make the<br />
Wright choice.<br />
Bad puns aside, the Mets have<br />
Jeremy Schlangen<br />
died. When Kim Jong-il, in a<br />
truly shocking move, appealed to<br />
the international community for<br />
relief, nothing happened.<br />
Our own response is particularly<br />
baffling. After all, the U.S.<br />
was gung-ho about invading Iraq,<br />
despite a heap of very flimsy intelligence.<br />
At the same time we<br />
turned a blind eye to North Korea,<br />
and now they’re testing nukes.<br />
In a press conference on Wednesday,<br />
President Bush rejected the<br />
possibility of holding talks with<br />
North Korea, and instead stood<br />
by his earlier statements saying,<br />
“we’re not going to deal with<br />
them as a nuclear weapons state.”<br />
Great, let’s just put our heads in<br />
the sand.<br />
Unfortunately, the other choice<br />
(invading a country that is known<br />
to have nuclear weapons) looks<br />
even less palatable, since it would<br />
basically amount to inviting Kim<br />
Jong-il to launch everything he’s<br />
got. So, thanks, Mr. Bush: you’ve<br />
backed us into quite the corner.<br />
a fun-loving chemistry that isn’t<br />
ruined by personalities like Jason“I’m-going-to-rat-on-myteammates”<br />
Giambi or Randy<br />
“I-stink-but-won’t-change-mypitching-style”<br />
Johnson. No. We<br />
get guys like Julio Franco and<br />
endy Chavez, who took time out<br />
of their day to pose in a picture<br />
with my 13-year-old cousin while<br />
in Pittsburgh.<br />
That’s why I was so happy when<br />
the Tigers beat the Yankees in the<br />
first round of the playoffs, and almost<br />
as happy as when the Mets<br />
obliterated the Dodgers a few<br />
days later. When I pointed this out<br />
to a friend who happens to be a<br />
Yankee fan, he mumbled, “I don’t<br />
want to get started on the whole<br />
Yankees thing.”<br />
<strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> York media whipped<br />
up quite a rivalry near the end of<br />
the season between Reyes and the<br />
Yankees’ shortstop, Derek Jeter.<br />
Both are arguably the best players<br />
on their teams: Jeter, for his<br />
clutch hitting and consistency,<br />
and Reyes for, well, everything.<br />
<strong>The</strong>re’s nothing that can bring a<br />
Met fan’s spirits up quicker than<br />
watching Reyes run the bases.<br />
As much as I want to hate Jeter,<br />
I’ve got nothing against the guy.<br />
<strong>The</strong> same sentiment extends to<br />
Mo Rivera. But that’s about where<br />
my um…Yankee-loving ends.<br />
And I’m not the only one who<br />
loves to hate the Yanks. If you do<br />
a YouTube search for “<strong>New</strong> York<br />
Yankees,” the most popular video<br />
Jesus Freaks Are At it Again<br />
By Jen Kolic<br />
Someone’s gotta say it: Religion<br />
is making people crazy.<br />
And I’m not even talking about<br />
that screwy guy who killed those<br />
Amish girls—even though he<br />
supposedly thought their prayers<br />
could cure him of pedophilia.<br />
I’m talking about the serious<br />
cases. Like people who think<br />
they’re raising an “Army of God.”<br />
Apparently these people haven’t<br />
heard of the Children’s Crusade,<br />
a movement to teach children the<br />
values of evangelism—which<br />
makes sense. I’m going to take a<br />
wild guess here that the only history<br />
book they study is the Bible.<br />
<strong>The</strong>se kids are vessels to perpetuate<br />
their parents’ irrational beliefs.<br />
Don’t believe me? Go see Jesus<br />
Camp, a documentary about<br />
an evangelical camp for kids. It<br />
opened about a week ago, and<br />
will hit major cities sooner than<br />
you can say “Kids on Fire.” (Oh<br />
yeah, I should mention, that’s the<br />
name of the camp.) Not only are<br />
the people running this place totally<br />
batshit insane, they’re teaching<br />
children that extremist behavior<br />
is normal.<br />
Seriously. God supposedly<br />
talks to these people. He tells<br />
them what to do. Sounds a little<br />
schizoid to me. Sounds like the<br />
people who run these camps are<br />
just afraid of making decisions<br />
for themselves. <strong>The</strong>y’ve got their<br />
kids thrashing around and crying<br />
all over the place, supposedly<br />
filled with the spirit of God.<br />
Who’s to say they’re not having<br />
panic attacks or something? May-<br />
is of David<br />
Ortiz of the<br />
Boston Red<br />
Sox’s beating<br />
the team<br />
in the playoffs.<br />
Why<br />
is that such<br />
a great video?<br />
People<br />
don’t want<br />
to see a topdog<br />
win. It’s<br />
much more<br />
entertaining<br />
to see them<br />
lose.<br />
And then<br />
there’s the<br />
fan base.<br />
<strong>The</strong> Yanks<br />
have washed<br />
up comedians<br />
like Billy<br />
Crystal.<br />
We’ve got<br />
Jon Stewart<br />
and Jerry<br />
S e i n f e l d .<br />
If that’s not good enough, we’ll<br />
stick John Gotti Jr. on you, who<br />
just so happens to root for the<br />
Amazin’s.<br />
Yankee lovers, you can keep<br />
your 26 world championships.<br />
But for this season you’re the<br />
team that went home early while<br />
the Mets became the toast of the<br />
town. Just like when Seinfeld’s<br />
George Constanza, in an attempt<br />
to leave the Yankees organization<br />
Mets third baseman David Wright.<br />
be their parents are just making<br />
them crazy…<br />
But it’s not just the parents and<br />
camps. evangelical leaders are<br />
going to extraordinary lengths<br />
to get kids hooked on Jesus, and<br />
to make sure they stay that way.<br />
Last week, <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> York Times<br />
reported that evangelical leaders<br />
across the country are struggling<br />
to maintain their base—only<br />
about 30% of baby boomers are<br />
“Bible-believing Christians,” and<br />
they fear that the number will<br />
shrink to a fraction of that in the<br />
coming years.<br />
“We’re working as hard as we<br />
know how to work,” said Ron<br />
Luce, founder of the youth ministry<br />
Teen Mania, “but we’re losing.”<br />
evangelicals have gone so far as<br />
to organize stadium-sized Christian<br />
rock concerts under the name<br />
“Acquire the Fire,” complete<br />
with pyrotechnics and the ceremonial<br />
destruction of what they<br />
call “cultural garbage,” like mainstream<br />
CDs, brand-name clothes<br />
and smoking paraphernalia.<br />
evangelical leaders don’t seem to<br />
realize the irony of using things<br />
like “Jesuspalooza” or “true love<br />
waits” bracelets for their cause.<br />
<strong>The</strong>ir rebellion just uses the same<br />
type of brand loyalty to get kids<br />
to conform to another set of accepted<br />
beliefs.<br />
It’s not that evangelicals aren’t<br />
trying hard enough. Maybe the<br />
majority of American teens just<br />
see evangelism for the load of<br />
ridiculous, hypocritical and literally<br />
unbelievable crap it really is.<br />
Jeremy Schlangen<br />
for the Mets, drove around the<br />
Yankee Stadium parking lot with<br />
a World Series trophy connected<br />
to his bumper, you’ll soon be taking<br />
the 7 train to the game and<br />
yelling, “Attention, Steinbrenner<br />
and front-office morons! Your<br />
triumphs mean nothing. You all<br />
stink. You can sit on it, and rotate!<br />
This is George Costanza. I fear no<br />
reprisal.”<br />
Pardon Moi?<br />
Today’s Polite<br />
World explained<br />
3<br />
By Amber Sutherland<br />
What is<br />
proper umbrellaetiquette?<br />
Just don’t<br />
use one. I<br />
am against umbrellas in theory<br />
and in practice; they take up too<br />
much personal space and they<br />
don’t keep you especially dry.<br />
<strong>The</strong> umbrella was not even originally<br />
intended for use in the rain.<br />
Rather, it originated as a protector<br />
from the sun. <strong>The</strong> word “umbrella”<br />
is from the Latin “umbra,”<br />
meaning “shade.” If you would<br />
like to use one for this purpose,<br />
just be polite and call it a parasol.<br />
Umbrellas also seem to evoke<br />
mankind’s primal desire for marking<br />
territory. When armed with an<br />
umbrella, people forget that everyone<br />
has an equal share of the<br />
sidewalk. <strong>The</strong>y rigidly grasp the<br />
savage weapon and graze anyone<br />
who may come into their peripheral<br />
path.<br />
Traditionally, a man is supposed<br />
to raise his umbrella above the<br />
path of oncoming pedestrians, but<br />
this courtesy is seldom extended.<br />
It is also improper to use an umbrella<br />
with exposed metal tips, as<br />
the inevitable grazing can cause<br />
damage.<br />
So, unless you’re a super-villain,<br />
try a nice trench coat and<br />
a wide brimmed hat. You’ll not<br />
only enjoy better shelter from the<br />
storm, but you’ll look like a filmnoir<br />
set piece.<br />
What do I do with a barfly who<br />
won’t leave me alone?<br />
Navigating a bar is difficult.<br />
Martinis are filled to the brim, you<br />
have to make eye contact with<br />
anyone very important and blow<br />
kisses to people you should know.<br />
To help out, delegate to your undesirable<br />
admirer the mechanical<br />
tasks, like carrying drinks and<br />
waiting in line for the lavatory.<br />
Think of the irritating barfly as<br />
your own personal waiter.<br />
It won’t take long for you to<br />
get used to sneering, “fetch me a<br />
cigarette, rummy.”<br />
Otherwise, stick to bars with<br />
policies about this sort of thing.<br />
<strong>The</strong> Milk and Honey on eldridge<br />
Street requires that anyone wanting<br />
to speak with a stranger must<br />
first request an introduction from<br />
the bartender. If the $20 cocktails<br />
seem a bit unreasonable, or you<br />
need your dive bar cred, bartenders<br />
at almost any bar will surely<br />
help deflect any undesirable advances.<br />
When I’m dJing or playing in a<br />
bar, should I tip on complimentary<br />
drinks?<br />
Average gratuity in bars and<br />
clubs is $1 per drink. If you take<br />
up two service periods (i.e. more<br />
than about 30 minutes for one<br />
drink), tip double. Likewise, tip<br />
double on complimentary drinks.<br />
<strong>The</strong> average price of a cocktail in<br />
Manhattan is $10. If you come<br />
out paying just $2 to the bartender,<br />
rather than five times that to<br />
the bar-owner, you win the show.<br />
Sutha907@newschool.edu
4 <strong>New</strong>s & Features<br />
Addressing Complicated Questions in Strategic Planning<br />
CONTINUeD FROM PAGe 1<br />
from $129 to $151 million over<br />
the past two years (the University<br />
of Chicago’s endowment is about<br />
$4.5 billion, according to Wikipedia),<br />
and this city’s skyrocketing<br />
real estate costs.<br />
Nevertheless, administrators say,<br />
Appadurai was integral in laying<br />
the groundwork for a unified university.<br />
He introduced joint-hiring<br />
(faculty are hired to teach in<br />
multiple divisions), established<br />
a faculty senate that gives fulltime<br />
faculty more influence on<br />
strategic planning, and created<br />
the university’s first faculty handbook.<br />
According to Lee, Appadurai<br />
continues to work closely with<br />
the provost’s office.<br />
Lee, previously Dean of <strong>The</strong><br />
<strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> for Social Research,<br />
described his job as “managing” a<br />
conversation between the university’s<br />
deans about the university’s<br />
future. He called last summer’s<br />
discussions, during retreats and<br />
weekly meetings, “unprecedented.”<br />
In the past, he noted, deans<br />
were “consulted, at best,” but did<br />
not play a large part in the development<br />
of a strategic plan for unification.<br />
One participant in those discussions,<br />
Jonathan Veitch, Dean<br />
of eugene Lang College, called<br />
Lee’s approach “artful.”<br />
“<strong>The</strong>re are advantages to forms<br />
of greater integration and unity,<br />
and there are advantages to maintaining<br />
a focus on individual<br />
missions,” Veitch said. “I think<br />
the university see-saws back and<br />
forth between those.” Lee is trying<br />
to “thread the needle” between<br />
the two, he said.<br />
Administrators who spoke to Inprint<br />
for this article said that the<br />
university’s main goal is to incorporate<br />
each division’s resources<br />
into a unified university program<br />
that will focus on five subjects:<br />
urban studies, media studies, international<br />
studies, environmen-<br />
Matt Groening at the Y<br />
By Josh Kurp<br />
As one tube-socked, sweatbanded,<br />
duffle-clutching healthnut<br />
left the gym at the 92nd Street<br />
Y.M.C.A. last Tuesday, he looked<br />
at the crowd lined up outside and<br />
wondered out loud, “Who is this<br />
Matt Groan-ing guy?”<br />
Among the standing-room-only<br />
crowd, though, it was hard to find<br />
anyone who couldn’t correctly<br />
pronounce the name of the man<br />
who invented <strong>The</strong> Simpsons (It’s<br />
pronounced “Gray-ning,” by the<br />
way).<br />
Matt Groening spoke with<br />
Gary Panter, creator of the comic<br />
character Jimbo, at an event appropriately<br />
dubbed “Comic Conversation.”<br />
Sponsored by the<br />
Jewish Museum, it was promoted<br />
as a public chat between two old<br />
friends who happened to share a<br />
gift for visual representation and<br />
a sardonic sense of humor.<br />
Groening kicked off the event<br />
by playing a clip from <strong>The</strong> Simpsons’<br />
annual “Treehouse of Horror”<br />
episode, which won’t be<br />
aired until November 5th.<br />
“It’s always fun to watch an episode<br />
with people other than my<br />
tal studies and a still-to-be-defined<br />
area currently referred to as<br />
“capitalism and democracy.”<br />
<strong>The</strong>se new programs will not<br />
replace the university’s divisions,<br />
Veitch said, but will exist<br />
alongside them. Courses in each<br />
division will be available to all<br />
students registered in those programs.<br />
Before the university can begin<br />
to develop them, however, administrators<br />
must reshape the way divisions<br />
determine their budgets,<br />
and develop a kind of governance<br />
structure to form them, Lee said.<br />
In the past, each division determined<br />
its budget by the number<br />
of students it had. <strong>The</strong>ir revenue<br />
typically would not increase, even<br />
if students at other divisions took<br />
classes there. By way of example,<br />
BA/BFA undergrads that enrolled<br />
at Lang but also took courses at<br />
<strong>The</strong> Jazz <strong>School</strong> or Parsons would<br />
count only as Lang students.<br />
“If you’re a Lang student, that’s<br />
it,” Veitch said. “Other divisions<br />
would let you into their classes as<br />
it pleased them, if they had room.<br />
<strong>The</strong>y weren’t particularly happy<br />
to have you there.”<br />
Administrators say they hope<br />
the new revenue-sharing formulae<br />
will overcome old tensions<br />
that have long existed between<br />
many of the university’s divisions—for<br />
instance, between Parsons<br />
and Lang, the two divisions<br />
which make the most money at<br />
the university, and NSSR, which<br />
usually operates on a deficit but<br />
needs money for prestigious fulltime<br />
faculty members who focus<br />
on research in addition to teaching.<br />
According to Tim Marshall,<br />
Dean of Parsons, that situation<br />
used to lead to tension between<br />
Parsons and NSSR, in part because<br />
many Parsons administrators<br />
felt that Parsons did not play<br />
an integral enough role at the university.<br />
son, Abe,” Groening said. “He’d<br />
rather watch Family Guy. It hurt<br />
my feelings that my kids like<br />
Family Guy more than <strong>The</strong> Simpsons,”<br />
he added, slyly.<br />
When he said the words “Family<br />
Guy,” the crowd booed.<br />
Panter, known as the “father of<br />
punk comics,” also showed some<br />
animation clips. Formerly a set<br />
designer for the television show<br />
Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, for which<br />
he won three emmys, he revealed<br />
that he and Paul Reubens (a.k.a.<br />
Pee-Wee Herman) had “just<br />
pitched an animation show of<br />
Pee-wee’s Playhouse” in which,<br />
“Pee-Wee falls asleep and wakes<br />
up in 1,000 years in the future and<br />
hates all the characters.”<br />
<strong>The</strong>re was a pleasant rapport and<br />
obvious ease between Panter and<br />
Groening. At one point, Groening<br />
turned to the crowd and said,<br />
“even if the two of us weren’t<br />
in front of you, we’d probably<br />
still be having the same conversation.”<br />
Later, he pulled out his<br />
Blackberry to look at their list of<br />
“forbidden topics” for the night,<br />
which, he said, included “alcoholics,<br />
terrorism, showbiz heart-<br />
Now, Marshall said, the deans<br />
are working to create a new model<br />
by which the divisions can benefit<br />
from each other. Marshall is<br />
chiefly interested in tapping into<br />
other divisions’ strengths in business<br />
management and social sciences.<br />
Deborah Kirschner, a spokeswoman<br />
for the university, declined<br />
to provide Inprint with<br />
any revenue figures for the various<br />
divisions, saying it was “not<br />
public information.” Nancy Steir,<br />
Vice President of Budget and<br />
Planning, also would not discuss<br />
details of the budget, saying the<br />
redesign of the budget is still under<br />
discussion. Veitch, however,<br />
said the school is now moving<br />
toward what is called Full Time<br />
equivalent, or F.T.e., where bud-<br />
groundwork for a<br />
unified university.<br />
get revenues are determined proportionally.<br />
That way, divisions<br />
like the NSSR would get revenue<br />
for Lang students who take NSSR<br />
courses.<br />
On the academic side, Lee and<br />
the deans are discussing ways in<br />
which the new programs ought to<br />
be implemented. “Do you create<br />
one department across the university?<br />
Do you just allow a kind of<br />
cross-registration that we never<br />
allowed?” Schober, Dean of<br />
NSSR, asked. “<strong>The</strong>re’s got to be<br />
some administrative structure.”<br />
Some of the thorniest questions<br />
may be logistical ones. “It<br />
is almost mind boggling to try to<br />
schedule things,” said Schober,<br />
who was chair of the psychology<br />
department at NSSR for five years<br />
before becoming dean this fall. In<br />
the psychology department last<br />
year, he said, one professor’s day<br />
began at 9 a.m. and ended at 10<br />
p.m., and she had just had a baby.<br />
“Given the current structure, we<br />
““ Lee is laying the<br />
break, Amos ‘N’ Andy, and bad<br />
acid trips.”<br />
Towards the end of the evening,<br />
Groening explained how he came<br />
up with the idea for his most famous<br />
creation. “I was sitting in<br />
the Fox waiting room ready to<br />
pitch my Life in Hell show and I<br />
realized if it became successful,<br />
I’d lose control,” he said. “So I<br />
invented the Simpsons right on<br />
Matt Groening with his son in a simulated Simpsons home.<br />
need new tools for visualizing and<br />
thinking about this that we don’t<br />
already have,” Schober said.<br />
If the university begins by developing<br />
programs, “in which we<br />
have existing strength, but no one<br />
school that feels they have total<br />
ownership of it,” Schober said,<br />
“then we can think through what<br />
we can do in a more coordinated<br />
way across the university.”<br />
In the past, Schober and Parsons<br />
professor Sven Travis cotaught<br />
for three years a course<br />
that merged the study of psychology<br />
and computer-based design.<br />
Howard Steele is working with<br />
Travis on a course this semseter<br />
related to emotions.<br />
In one past project, Schober<br />
said, a student worked on palmpilot<br />
and cell phone interfaces<br />
for studying cognitive behavioral<br />
therapy.<br />
Parsons is also developing a<br />
program in sustainability and environmental<br />
studies. Joel Towers,<br />
an architect who was once the director<br />
of the Sustainable Design<br />
and Urban ecology program at<br />
Parsons, is now an associate provost<br />
and the head of the Tishman<br />
environmental Design Center, a<br />
program for faculty and students<br />
that focuses on environmental issues<br />
and oversees the university’s<br />
environmental studies programs.<br />
“It’s critical for a school like<br />
Parsons to have sustainability and<br />
environmental issues in the future,”<br />
Marshall said. <strong>The</strong> design<br />
center is, “an early gesture in that<br />
direction.”<br />
Administrators say they would<br />
like to create an open discussion<br />
between faculty and students<br />
about future programs. At<br />
the same time, Schober says that<br />
managing a public dialogue at a<br />
place like <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> can<br />
be a tricky balancing act. “It can<br />
either be too constricted,” he said,<br />
“or completely chaotic.”<br />
the spot and thought, if it became<br />
a hit, I wouldn’t mind losing control.<br />
I named them after my family.”<br />
Maggie Groening, Matt’s sister,<br />
was in the audience. Inprint asked<br />
her if her name ever sparks recognition.<br />
“Sales clerks will sometimes<br />
notice it and ask me about<br />
it,” she said.<br />
What’s the<br />
Haps?<br />
By Liza Minno<br />
Spit? So does Lang’s feminist<br />
group, Moxie. Come October<br />
17th, when they host Freestyling<br />
Ciphers at the Student Activities<br />
Space at 55 W. 11th St., from<br />
6:30 to 8:00 p.m., and see if they<br />
can live up to their saucy name in<br />
verbal freestyling form. Contact<br />
moxie@newschool.edu for more<br />
information.<br />
Remember that scene in Swordfish<br />
when Hugh Jackman is at<br />
a computer trying to hack into<br />
some super secure banking system<br />
while someone has a gun to<br />
his head and Halle Berry is under<br />
the desk not having sexual relations<br />
with him? Well, the 2006<br />
Cut & paste digital design<br />
tournament won’t be like that at<br />
all. But there will be people sitting<br />
at computers and a fair amount<br />
of pressure to work quickly. On<br />
October 21st, at Brooklyn Sugar<br />
in Williamsburg, designers will<br />
test their skills in front a crowd<br />
of riled up aesthetes and judges.<br />
Check out www.cutandpaste.cc<br />
for details or to register.<br />
Maureen Dowd once said that<br />
students at <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> are<br />
so liberal that they make NYU<br />
look like Liberty University. On<br />
a similar note, I would argue that<br />
Amherst, Massachusetts, makes<br />
<strong>New</strong> York City look like Puritan<br />
Boston. Lee Badget from UMass<br />
Amherst and Gary Gates of the<br />
Williams Institute will speak on<br />
October 25th at “same-sex<br />
Couples: How Many partner<br />
or Marry and Why?” <strong>The</strong> event<br />
was arranged by Professor Alec<br />
Ian Gershber of Milano. Bring<br />
your family values and check it<br />
out—12:10 p.m. at Henry Cohen<br />
Conference Room, 72 Fifth Avenue,<br />
3rd floor.<br />
Boo! If you’re looking for a little<br />
more to put you in a pre-Halloween<br />
mood, go to the Anthology<br />
Film Archive (32 2nd Ave. at<br />
2nd St.) for their “extra Special<br />
Halloween Short Film Marathon”<br />
on October 25th at 7 p.m. <strong>The</strong>y<br />
have seven films by seven new<br />
filmmakers who promise to deliver<br />
that extra-special Halloween<br />
excitement… you know, rotting<br />
teeth, broken curfews, revving<br />
chainsaws and all that.<br />
Associated Press
Around the Courtyard<br />
<strong>New</strong>s & Features<br />
A Security Guard with a Political History<br />
By Ben Kelly<br />
When Gurney Ackman goes to<br />
work as a security guard in the<br />
<strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> dorms, he always<br />
brings a copy of the <strong>New</strong> York<br />
Post.<br />
“I have to have some distraction,”<br />
he says. “Otherwise, I start<br />
thinking about all the memories,<br />
the things that have happened to<br />
me.”<br />
One recent weekday, Ackman, a<br />
Guayanan of medium height and<br />
slim build with a vaguely British<br />
accent, sat behind the security<br />
desk in the 13th Street dorm,<br />
recounting episode after episode<br />
of his fantastic life while hordes<br />
of oblivious, faux-hawked firstyears<br />
walked by.<br />
Ackman was born 59 years ago<br />
in Guyana, then a British colony<br />
and now a small country on the<br />
Northeast coast of South America.<br />
Since then, he’s been a political<br />
dissident, a soldier that saw action<br />
in Vietnam, a high school security<br />
officer that worked closely<br />
with gangs, a husband (twice) and<br />
a father of three.<br />
Ackman grew up during a time<br />
of great political change. Guyana<br />
had been a British possession<br />
since 1831 and Guyanese citizens<br />
had limited governmental representation.<br />
In 1955, however, the<br />
country’s one party, the People’s<br />
Progressive Party (PPP), split<br />
into PPP and the People’s National<br />
Congress (PNC). <strong>The</strong> split<br />
was ideological, Ackman says,<br />
but because PPP’s leader, Cheddi<br />
Jagan, espoused Marxist-Leninist<br />
beliefs, the CIA, under John<br />
F. Kennedy, became involved<br />
in Guyanese politics. CIA op-<br />
eratives, disguised as trade union<br />
leaders, shifted the dispute from<br />
an ideological to a racial one:<br />
PNC became a party of mostly<br />
Afro-Guyanese, while the majority<br />
of PPP’s supporters were<br />
Indo-Guyanese.<br />
Ackman joined PPP in 1962,<br />
drawn by Jagan, the party’s charismatic<br />
leader.<br />
“In every way that you could<br />
think, he was what you would call<br />
an advocate of the poor people,<br />
the working class people,” Ackman<br />
recalls. “He fully believed in<br />
democracy. He was someone you<br />
could follow.”<br />
Ackman began attending campaign<br />
meetings, educational sessions<br />
and demonstrations in the<br />
party’s youth wing. But his in-<br />
volvement with the party was<br />
complicated by two factors: his<br />
mother, Margaret Ackman, was a<br />
prominent PNC congresswoman;<br />
and though PPP was a primarily<br />
Indo-Guyanese party, Ackman is<br />
black.<br />
Ackman says his mother wasn’t<br />
bothered by his party affiliations,<br />
but “her friends were.” Nevertheless,<br />
they avoided debates because<br />
they were home at different times<br />
and rarely saw each other.<br />
In the mid-1960s, as tension<br />
between PNC and PPP intensified,<br />
Ackman found himself more<br />
vulnerable to violence. In Afro-<br />
Interview by Liza Minno<br />
Photographs by Matthew Mann<br />
How do you feel about the Yankees elimination from the World Series?<br />
Ernesto Mercado Julia Schweizer Allen Strouse<br />
“I’m actually surprised that it affects<br />
other people so much—it’s<br />
like the Mayans and the spiritual<br />
games that were such a big part<br />
of their culture.”<br />
“I’ve been to two Yankees games<br />
and the beers are too expensive<br />
and you can’t smoke in the stadium,<br />
so I say fuck the Yankees.”<br />
“I couldn’t be happier. I don’t<br />
like to watch baseball except for<br />
to see the Yankees lose.”<br />
Guyanese neighborhoods, he<br />
says, “people would start picking<br />
up bottles, eggs, to throw—and<br />
you’d have to get out of there.”<br />
Ackman was never hurt badly<br />
enough to be hospitalized, but<br />
“only because I could run.”<br />
<strong>The</strong> violence and danger escalated<br />
until, at the age of 20, Ackman<br />
decided to emigrate from<br />
Guyana to the United States.<br />
“My mother and all my relatives<br />
told me, ‘You have to get out of<br />
the country,’” Ackman remembers.<br />
Ackman moved to the United<br />
States during one of its most tumultuous<br />
eras—the Vietnam conflict.<br />
He registered for the draft<br />
and in November of 1968, a year<br />
after he arrived in the States, he<br />
was called up. For eleven months<br />
he served in the Infantry’s 101st<br />
division, 11 Bravo Company.<br />
Ackman’s memories of that time<br />
are grim.<br />
“Sometimes I try to describe it,<br />
but there are no words,” he says,<br />
“Just ‘survive.’ Will I survive after<br />
seeing so many guys blown<br />
up? It was something I never<br />
thought I’d experience.”<br />
Ackman moved back to Guyana<br />
in 1992, then back to the States<br />
in 2001. Today, he says this job<br />
at <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> is, “pretty<br />
much a piece of cake,” except<br />
for the fact that, “one man has to<br />
control the whole world: check<br />
IDs, answer phones, answer questions…”<br />
“But mostly, from my observation,<br />
<strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> students<br />
are nice,” he continues. “I’d say<br />
ninety percent of them are coop-<br />
Russia’s Copyrighting Woes<br />
By Justin Lane Briggs<br />
Like most music consumers,<br />
the average <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> student<br />
has probably wrestled with the<br />
ethics of downloading music<br />
for free. But as long as you’re<br />
buying mp3s from a well-publicized,<br />
“Secure Transaction” type<br />
of website, with links to Billboard<br />
and BBC music sites on its<br />
homepage, you’re playing by the<br />
rules, right?<br />
Not according to critics of<br />
Allofmp3.com, a Russian music<br />
downloading website that offers<br />
entire albums for as little as $1.50<br />
– and as a result has recently begun<br />
to lure customers away from<br />
Apple’s iTunes Music Store. That<br />
success has landed the site in the<br />
center of a major international<br />
trade dispute that U.S. officials<br />
say may threaten Russia’s bid to<br />
enter the World Trade Organization.<br />
How can Allofmp3.com offer<br />
music so<br />
cheaply? According<br />
to the<br />
International<br />
Federation of<br />
the Phonographic Industry (IFPI),<br />
a group representing recording interests<br />
for labels like eMI, Sony,<br />
Universal and Warner Bros., the<br />
problem is loopholes in Russian<br />
law that allow public downloading<br />
of music so long as companies<br />
pay specific government agencies<br />
instead of the actual copyright<br />
holder.<br />
After two years of legal battles,<br />
the U.S. Trade Representative issued<br />
Allofmp3.com a deadline<br />
of September 1, 2006, to change<br />
its business practices and comply<br />
with new Russian copyright legislation.<br />
But weeks after the deadline,<br />
no real changes have taken<br />
place. Users around the world can<br />
still download music from the<br />
website’s library at remarkably<br />
low prices.<br />
Representatives of Allofmp3.<br />
com insist that payments do in<br />
fact go to the music’s copyright<br />
holders.<br />
“Allofmp3.com does regularly<br />
transfer substantial amounts of<br />
royalties to the Russian organizations<br />
for collective management<br />
of rights,” the site’s administra-<br />
Annie Dillard, Acclaimed Memoirist and Poet, Reads at Lang<br />
By Linh Tran<br />
On the night of October 4th,<br />
Neil Gordon, Chair of the Lang<br />
Writing Department, stepped up<br />
to the podium in Wollman Hall<br />
to introduce Pulitzer Prize-winning<br />
author Annie Dillard—or<br />
so the audience thought. Instead,<br />
Gordon introduced Cody Rose<br />
Clevidence, a senior writing-concentrator<br />
at Lang.<br />
Clevidence told an intentionally<br />
vague story about having dinner<br />
with Dillard the previous night.<br />
<strong>The</strong>n she added, “Neil Gordon is<br />
going to kill me for making this<br />
personal, or worse, sentimental,<br />
but I’d like to introduce my<br />
mom.”<br />
Dillard, a tall woman of 61<br />
years from Pittsburgh, is a prominent<br />
poet, memoirist and novelist<br />
whose work deals with nature,<br />
theology and the human condi-<br />
A political dissi-<br />
dent, a Vietnam solider,<br />
a <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong><br />
security guard<br />
““<br />
tion. <strong>The</strong> capacity crowd, which<br />
appeared to be comprised mostly<br />
of writing students and professors,<br />
was responsive to her relaxed<br />
manner. “Did you all get to<br />
eat?” she asked at one point. “Are<br />
you doing this instead of eating?<br />
That’s rough.”<br />
Slightly stooped over, wearing<br />
a red sweater and reading glasses,<br />
Dillard began with a short poem,<br />
“<strong>The</strong> Sign of Your Father.” Pacing<br />
in front of the audience, she<br />
paused after every few words to<br />
indicate her use of parentheses,<br />
drawing laughs.<br />
She followed the poem with a<br />
short story, “Living Like Weasels,”<br />
which compares a weasel’s<br />
way of life in the wild to human<br />
behavior.<br />
“I wouldn’t write this as strongly<br />
today,” Dillard said, by way of<br />
introduction. “I was<br />
young then, and much<br />
more resolute.”<br />
Dillard won the Pulitzer<br />
for nonfiction in<br />
1975, when she was<br />
just 29, for Pilgrim<br />
at Tinker Creek, a<br />
Walden-like account<br />
of a year spent living<br />
close to nature in<br />
rural Virginia. <strong>The</strong><br />
book’s two sequels,<br />
Holy Firm and For<br />
the Time Being, also<br />
addressed the connection<br />
between ecology<br />
and theology. Other<br />
noteworthy efforts include<br />
a memoir about<br />
her parents, entitled<br />
An American Child-<br />
CONTINUeD ON PAGe 6<br />
5<br />
tors said in a press statement last<br />
month.<br />
But the music industry tells a<br />
different story. “<strong>The</strong> website is effectively<br />
stealing from those who<br />
create the music,” read a press<br />
release from the IFPI. “Allofmp3.<br />
com is not what it seems.”<br />
Allofmp3.com’s Web site is<br />
glossy and simple, has Russian<br />
and english interfaces and links<br />
to international Billboard charts,<br />
but making payments is complicated.<br />
A user usually has to use<br />
a separate website, dubbed all-<br />
Tunes.com, to purchase credit.<br />
Yet, Allofmp3.com’s Mp3s are<br />
higher quality than iTunes’ AAC<br />
files, and can be shared and copied<br />
at will once they’ve been downloaded—unlike<br />
iTunes files.<br />
Thus far, only about 300,000 of<br />
Allofmp3.com’s downloads have<br />
gone to the U.S. market. In england,<br />
however, Allofmp3.com is<br />
more popular<br />
than<br />
Napster.<br />
allofmp3.com<br />
<strong>The</strong> Web<br />
site has<br />
faced many court cases, to little<br />
effect, because the site claims it<br />
does not have international patrons.<br />
“What we’re doing may<br />
not be 100% up to Western business<br />
ethics,” said Ilya Levitov, a<br />
spokesman for Allofmp3.com’s<br />
parent company, MediaServices.<br />
“But no one has ever proven that<br />
we are operating illegally.”<br />
<strong>The</strong> most serious flack comes<br />
from the U.S. government. Recently,<br />
a congressional caucus advised<br />
against admitting Russia to<br />
the WTO until they had improved<br />
intellectual property rights, referring<br />
specifically to Allofmp3.com<br />
as an example of Moscow’s unwillingness<br />
to abide by changes<br />
in its newly adopted intellectual<br />
property law. Russia cannot join<br />
the global trade group without the<br />
backing of all existing members,<br />
including the United States. Right<br />
now, the U.S. plan seems to be to<br />
hope that Russia will back down<br />
and begin to enforce its copyright<br />
laws, shutting down Allofmp3.<br />
com for good. Until then, the<br />
website will stay open for business.<br />
Kaitlin McQuaide
6 entertainment<br />
If You’re Underground, You Already Know<br />
Two revelers gear up for Rubulad.<br />
By Insane Viola Jam<br />
<strong>The</strong> average person living in<br />
<strong>New</strong> York usually needs to come<br />
to terms with the fact that they are<br />
constantly missing out on some<br />
big, fabulous event. But on Friday,<br />
October 6th, the big fabulous<br />
event was for average people<br />
only. Most probably missed out,<br />
anyway.<br />
<strong>The</strong> party was the ever-elusive,<br />
carnival-esque Rubulad, staged<br />
every three weeks, with intermittent<br />
venue changes, for twelve<br />
years. Known for its participants’<br />
often-illegal antics, it shies away<br />
from media coverage. It’s been<br />
listed in L Magazine, for instance,<br />
but without an address, so as to<br />
preserve its underground vibe.<br />
Two weeks ago, I broke the surface<br />
of secrecy for the first time,<br />
in an endeavor to understand this<br />
mysterious event. As I walked in,<br />
Monica Uszerowicz<br />
I was overwhelmed with art and<br />
glitter. <strong>The</strong> theme was “Homecoming,”<br />
and there was a “make<br />
your own crown” table. Men<br />
were queens—except for some of<br />
the older ones, who were naked.<br />
“I feel like I just took acid, but<br />
I didn’t,” one first-timer said. She<br />
stood inside an igloo on one of<br />
the building’s floors. Outside the<br />
igloo, there was an explosion of<br />
Christmas lights, an absinthe<br />
bar, a special brownie stand, and<br />
many, many, intoxicated people.<br />
On the roof, which was accessible<br />
by means of a rickety metal<br />
ladder, a man named Gary ran<br />
projections of French musicals<br />
from the 1960s. Asked to share<br />
some stories of Rubulad’s past,<br />
he gave a vague response: “Sex,<br />
drugs, and rock and roll.” Judging<br />
from the action in the igloo<br />
Waiting for Ferrell at the Daily Show<br />
Chilling Out With Jon Stewart<br />
By Almie Rose Vazanno<br />
Jon Stewart is a short man.<br />
But out of shortness often comes<br />
greatness. Napoleon. Michael J.<br />
Fox. R2D2. It should have come<br />
as no surprise to me when I went<br />
to a Daily Show taping and saw<br />
just how funny and quick-thinking<br />
Stewart really is.<br />
Before the show began, he informed<br />
us, his adoring studio<br />
audience, that we were in for a<br />
treat. After the show, Stewart was<br />
planning to tape a segment with<br />
Will Ferrell live via satellite (Ferrell<br />
was in LA) for a sketch for a<br />
Comedy Central special Stewart<br />
was hosting, “Night of Too Many<br />
Stars: An Overbooked Benefit for<br />
Autism education.”<br />
<strong>The</strong> show ended, we applauded.<br />
Stewart checked with pages for<br />
the Mets game scores. <strong>The</strong>n we<br />
waited for Ferrell’s charming face<br />
to appear on the monitors. And<br />
we waited. And waited.<br />
Finally a producer informed us<br />
that Ferrell was still in the makeup<br />
chair. Apparently, he needed<br />
quite a lot of make-up for this<br />
segment. Stewart promised we<br />
would love it, and that it would<br />
be worth the wait.<br />
So we waited. A DJ who played<br />
loud 80s music while we waited.<br />
<strong>The</strong>n he stopped, because Ferrell<br />
was ready. Or so we thought. Ferrell,<br />
in fact, was still not ready.<br />
Stewart apologized,<br />
telling us that<br />
we could leave if we<br />
had plans. “I’m sure<br />
some of you have<br />
tickets to Mama<br />
Mia,” he said. A P.A.<br />
tapped him on the<br />
shoulder and gave him a baseball<br />
update. It was good news<br />
for Stewart. He pumped his fist<br />
in the air. His team had won. We<br />
cheered. A man from back-stage,<br />
obviously a friend of Stewart’s,<br />
crossed the set and him gave him<br />
a huge hug.<br />
He again apologized for making<br />
us wait, and asked us if we had<br />
any more questions we wanted<br />
to ask (Stewart does a brief Q&A<br />
before every show to warm-up<br />
the audience.) “I could have loud<br />
music playing while I sit here<br />
and have you guys stare at me,”<br />
he explained. “But that would be<br />
awkward. Do you guys just mind<br />
hanging out?”<br />
Did we mind hanging out with<br />
Jon Stewart? Was he kidding?<br />
<strong>The</strong> studio was suddenly transformed<br />
into a comfortable living<br />
room, and the audience into his<br />
friends. It actually felt as though<br />
we were all just hanging out.<br />
“Anyone doing anything fun<br />
tonight?” he asked. A few of us<br />
shouted, “Lost!” It was the night<br />
and on the roof, things haven’t<br />
changed much.<br />
Carlos, a Brooklyn hipster,<br />
described the scene as “a cluster-fuck<br />
of weird people.” That<br />
certainly applied to Fitz and Joey,<br />
two students in the throes of acid<br />
trips, who talked about being<br />
stripped and handcuffed.<br />
Vinnie, wearing an old Italian<br />
motorcycle jacket, requested<br />
Black Sabbath from the man behind<br />
the jukebox. Carl, in a room<br />
labeled “Photo Booth,” wore a<br />
poofy pink dress and snapped<br />
pictures. A raver, with neon hulahoop<br />
in tow, wowed the crowds<br />
during an M.I.A. song. everybody<br />
loved it—and at Rubulad,<br />
unlike most <strong>New</strong> York parties,<br />
nobody was afraid to show it.<br />
Among the four floors, the music<br />
ranged from Metallica to salsa.<br />
People shifted on and off the<br />
dance floor. Some, craving stimulation,<br />
traveled upstairs to hear a<br />
live band. Others went to the rooftop<br />
grill to ease their munchies.<br />
Insane Viola Jam is an under<br />
cover Inprint correspondent who<br />
writes about youth culture.<br />
Monica Uszerowicz<br />
Under the sea?<br />
No, a scene from Rubulad.<br />
Almie Rose Vazzano<br />
Will Ferrell and Jon Stewart<br />
of the season premiere of the surreal<br />
drama, set on a deserted tropical<br />
island. “I said fun,” he teased.<br />
We asked him why he was not a<br />
fan. “I don’t need to watch James<br />
Joyce on television,” he said.<br />
Shows that he does like? “Project<br />
Runway.”<br />
“It’s my first night in town,<br />
where should I go tonight?” one<br />
woman asked. Stewart, his writers,<br />
producers and even the DJ<br />
suggested a myriad of different<br />
restaurants. Another person asked<br />
if the man who hugged Stewart<br />
earlier was Robert Smigel. It<br />
was. And another person asked<br />
the question in the back of all of<br />
our minds. “How much make-up<br />
does Will Ferrell need?” Stewart<br />
laughed.<br />
Finally, Ferrell was ready. He<br />
appeared on the screen dressed<br />
as Robert Goulet. Stewart, in his<br />
signature deadpan, explained:<br />
“That’s why it took so long; he<br />
needed to put on sunglasses.” He<br />
asked Ferrell if he was ready.<br />
“Let’s nail this bitch,” Ferrell<br />
grumbled in his Goulet voice.<br />
Annie Dillard Reads at Lang<br />
CONTINUeD FROM PAGe 5<br />
hood, and a collection of “found”<br />
poetry called Mornings Like<br />
This.<br />
<strong>The</strong> last reading of the night<br />
was an excerpt from For the Time<br />
Being, a poetic exploration of human<br />
compassion and cruelty, and<br />
whether such is the work of God.<br />
She was reluctant to begin—“A<br />
little bit of a story doesn’t do<br />
any good, but what the hell,” she<br />
said—but proceeded with a vivid<br />
account of an archeological dig in<br />
China that unearthed ancient statues<br />
of an army of soldiers.<br />
At the end of the reading, Dillard<br />
addressed students’ questions—“Have<br />
at me,” she said.<br />
One woman asked Dillard why<br />
she had described her forthcoming<br />
novel <strong>The</strong> Maytrees, about a<br />
Mew2, the Interview<br />
By Almie Rose Vazzano<br />
<strong>The</strong> first rule of any interview<br />
is to make sure your tape recorder<br />
works.<br />
I check it in the cab on the way<br />
to Webster Hall, where I have<br />
an appointment to interview Bo<br />
Madsen, lead guitarist of Danish<br />
“space pop” band Mew. It seems<br />
to be in perfect shape.<br />
But when I sit down to begin the<br />
interview, the tape recorder takes<br />
on a mind of its own and stubbornly<br />
refuses to work.<br />
As I fumble with the device,<br />
like a kindergartner learning how<br />
to write, Bo asks if he could have<br />
a look at it. “I know what it is<br />
like when one of these little guys<br />
dies,” he says, mournfully, taking<br />
apart the tape recorder to fix<br />
it. “This guy looks like he’s been<br />
with you for a long time.”<br />
Madsen, tan, with a mustache<br />
and a smile that would make<br />
James Bond-era Sean Connery<br />
envious, is inviting and relaxed.<br />
He removes the batteries from<br />
the dead recorder, just to make<br />
sure they’re in correctly, and I<br />
point out the Whitney sticker on<br />
his striped collared t-shirt and ask<br />
him if he enjoyed the museum.<br />
He glances down, perhaps realizing<br />
for the first time that he’s still<br />
wearing it, and peels it off. “Modern<br />
art is not my personal favorite,”<br />
he responds. “<strong>The</strong> Hopper<br />
exhibit is more to my liking, it’s<br />
more in tune with european traditions,<br />
very melancholy.”<br />
Mew is no stranger to melancholy.<br />
Madsen describes their<br />
latest album, ...and the Glass<br />
Handed Kites, as “darker and bigger”<br />
than their previous record,<br />
Frengers. “We wanted to challenge<br />
ourselves,” he says. “At the<br />
time we were living close together<br />
in a house in London. We were<br />
loving and hating each other.”<br />
What can we expect from their<br />
next album? “More swing. Last<br />
time we wanted to do more of an<br />
idea-based album but this time<br />
we want to be maybe more open,<br />
positive. It’s going to be good.”<br />
What is Mew’s collaboration<br />
process like? “We write together,<br />
group oriented. Someone comes<br />
up with one part, two parts, it mutates,<br />
forms. We record music in<br />
rehearsal space to catch off-mo-<br />
family living in Provincetown in<br />
the 1940s and 50s, as “the best<br />
book I’ve ever written.”<br />
“When I was younger I would<br />
have been showing off,” Dillard<br />
replied. “Now I just want to tell<br />
a story.”<br />
Later, when another audience<br />
member asked Dillard to compare<br />
her current self to her younger<br />
self, she offered an analogous response.<br />
“Now I go to readings to<br />
be moved,” Dillard said. “When I<br />
was younger, I wanted to be impressed.”<br />
Dillard ended the event with one<br />
final tidbit of advice for the many<br />
aspiring writers in the room: “Go<br />
to the library,” she said, “because<br />
you know life, you live life. What<br />
you need to know is literature.”<br />
ments that can be great. <strong>The</strong>re’s<br />
not a lot of crying,” he says, grinning,<br />
“but a little bit.”<br />
AOL Music described the band<br />
as “space pop innovators.” Does<br />
Bo agree? He shrugs. “We’re the<br />
only indie stadium band in the<br />
world.” He pauses. At this point,<br />
he has abandoned the tape recorder<br />
and taken up with a stray tennis<br />
ball, spinning it around the table.<br />
“I don’t care for anything else but<br />
pop music.”<br />
Mew’s videos often present bizarre,<br />
downbeat scenes. Where<br />
does the inspiration come from?<br />
“Dream scenarios and David<br />
Lynch. David Lynch is a God in<br />
europe.”<br />
Surely a band that models their<br />
style after David Lynch must<br />
have a few strange stories. I ask<br />
him about the strangest thing<br />
that’s ever happened on tour. He<br />
pauses to think. He’s silent, his<br />
chin rested on his closed hand.<br />
“Wait…wait,” he says, “I’m really<br />
digging deep down.” He<br />
laughs. “Let me get back to you<br />
on that one.”<br />
Who are his influences? “Prince.<br />
80s music is genius. It’s the golden<br />
age of pop. It’s like relationships.<br />
You fall in love, you listen<br />
to every album, you get to know<br />
them, but it’s rare to fall in love.”<br />
What’s the one thing we need<br />
to know about Mew? “We’re not<br />
like any other band. That’s it.”<br />
Back to the strange tour stories.<br />
He pauses, shaking his black<br />
Conversed foot. Finally, he looks<br />
up, ready with his answer. “I’m<br />
not going to tell,” he says mischievously.<br />
Bo Madsen of Mew<br />
Sony Records
Your Guide to the Best (and Blurst)<br />
in Today’s Fine Art<br />
<strong>The</strong> Bridge, Dir. eric Steel, Opens Oct. 27th<br />
By Almie Rose Vazzano<br />
eric Steel’s documentary, <strong>The</strong><br />
Bridge, opens with beautiful wideangle<br />
shots of the Golden Gate<br />
Bridge that almost look computer-generated.<br />
<strong>The</strong> sun is out, there<br />
is a light breeze, and the bridge is<br />
crowded with people. <strong>The</strong> camera<br />
zooms in, and we see a man talking<br />
on his cell phone. He laughs,<br />
hangs up, climbs over the railing,<br />
and jumps to his death. <strong>The</strong> camera<br />
follows him all 225 feet down<br />
into the water. <strong>The</strong> splash is surprisingly<br />
quiet.<br />
In 2004, twenty-four people<br />
committed suicide on the Golden<br />
Gate Bridge. This film shows the<br />
deaths of at least three of them in<br />
close-up, a few others from a distance,<br />
and a few failed attempts.<br />
To make the film, Steel set up<br />
cameras in two key locations.<br />
One camera captured wide-angle<br />
shots and the other had a strong<br />
telephoto lens for closer shots. He<br />
left the cameras running all day,<br />
changing the tapes once every<br />
hour, for one year.<br />
<strong>The</strong> Bridge is not just about<br />
shocking footage. In interviews<br />
with family and friends of the deceased,<br />
Steel explores the forces<br />
that bring people to such dramatic<br />
deaths at this historic monument.<br />
He also speaks with witnesses,<br />
Film<br />
Driving Lessons, dir. Jeremy<br />
Brock, starring: Laura Linney,<br />
rupert Grint, rated-pG-13,<br />
Opens Oct. 13<br />
Do you enjoy preachy and predictable<br />
stories about stereotypically<br />
repressed teenagers? <strong>The</strong>n<br />
go see Driving Lessons, Jeremy<br />
Block’s new car wreck starring<br />
Rupert Grint, that red-haired<br />
doofy kid from the Harry Potter<br />
movies, as 17-year-old Ben.<br />
Let’s count the clichés: overbearing<br />
Christian mother, an outof-his-league-style<br />
teenage crush,<br />
and an uplifting coming-of-age<br />
journey. Yup, this film’s got it<br />
all—except for a meaningful plot<br />
and original script. Pretty much<br />
the only thing that redeems Driving<br />
Lessons is Ben’s Harold and<br />
Maude-esque (albeit a-sexual)<br />
relationship with the 65-year-old,<br />
out-of-work actress evie (Julie<br />
Walters).<br />
Truly devoted to theatrics, evie<br />
coerces Ben into accompanying<br />
her to the edinburgh <strong>The</strong>ater Festival.<br />
<strong>The</strong>re, even teenage Ben’s<br />
awkward deflowering, set to blaring<br />
Scottish samba music, falls<br />
flat.<br />
Rating: 2 surly driving instructors.<br />
- Julia Schweizer<br />
Sony Pictures Classics<br />
CORReCTION: Copying<br />
Beethoven, reviewed last issue,<br />
has been pushed back to<br />
November 10.<br />
including the Figueroa family,<br />
who, while on vacation with their<br />
children, watch a woman smile at<br />
them before leaping to her watery<br />
death.<br />
<strong>The</strong> premise of <strong>The</strong> Bridge is<br />
fascinating enough, but whether<br />
the film can hold the audience’s<br />
interest is another question. <strong>The</strong><br />
beginning and end are captivating,<br />
but the middle is drawn out.<br />
every family, it seems, has the<br />
same story to tell about the those<br />
they lost: the deceased were mentally<br />
unwell and spoke openly of<br />
suicide.<br />
<strong>The</strong> most interesting scenes in<br />
the film are of the jumpers—not<br />
necessarily as they are committing<br />
the act, but as they contemplate<br />
it. <strong>The</strong>y walk back and<br />
forth, they pause, some talk on<br />
cell phones, others stare out into<br />
nothing. Witnesses often remain<br />
motionless, perhaps pretending<br />
that they do not see what is unfolding<br />
before their eyes. This is<br />
the most depressing aspect of the<br />
entire film.<br />
To watch these people actually<br />
die is both sobering and surreal.<br />
<strong>The</strong> last scene in the film is one<br />
that, like the postcard image of<br />
the bridge itself, will be permanently<br />
stamped into memory.<br />
Rating: Timothy Treadwell’s hat<br />
Conventioneers, dir. Mora<br />
stephens, Opens Oct. 20<br />
<strong>The</strong> only interesting thing about<br />
this movie is the fact that it exists.<br />
<strong>The</strong> documentary/drama was<br />
made during the 2004 Republic<br />
National Convention in <strong>New</strong> York<br />
City. <strong>The</strong> actors took part in the<br />
actual convention—some as protestors,<br />
some as attendees—and<br />
also tried to play out a modern<br />
day Romeo and Juliet, where the<br />
Capulets are Republicans and the<br />
Montagues are Democrats.<br />
It’s an interesting and original<br />
idea, trust me. I’m genre-bending’s<br />
biggest cheerleader. And the<br />
RNC?! Come on! If any subject<br />
deserves to be deconstructed in<br />
art, it is that human atrocity.<br />
But, unfortunately, the acting,<br />
writing and background music<br />
is intolerable. <strong>The</strong> acting is so<br />
forced and uncomfortable that you<br />
will actually feel embarrassed for<br />
the actors, but only after you get<br />
tired of making fun of them. <strong>The</strong><br />
dialogue serves only to stereotype<br />
communication patterns and<br />
oversimplify the idea of political<br />
obligation. And the music—have<br />
mercy.<br />
I would not suggest that anyone<br />
subject themselves to this debacle.<br />
However, the movie does<br />
have some good footage of the<br />
RNC and the protests that surrounded<br />
it. If you’re in a nostalgic<br />
kind of mood, go ahead and see it.<br />
Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.<br />
Rating: “Merely a two word review:<br />
shit sandwich.” - Spinal<br />
Tap - Liza Minno<br />
tV<br />
Heroes, dir. Greg Beeman &<br />
Allan Arkush, starring: Ali<br />
Larter, Milo Ventimiglia, Airtime-<br />
Mon. 9:30pm, nBC<br />
Reviews<br />
<strong>The</strong> Golden Gate Bridge, where 24 people committed suicide in 2004.<br />
<strong>The</strong>re’s something wonderfully<br />
amiss in the world. Instead of being<br />
slapped in the face with trash<br />
like Invasion or Point Pleasant,<br />
you can actually find TV shows<br />
worth watching on a Monday<br />
night. Heroes is one of them.<br />
Things start to get hairy for the<br />
unacquainted heroes—one a prophetic<br />
painter, the other a nimble<br />
time-jumper—in the second episode.<br />
Together, they discover a<br />
conspiracy to visit a nuclear holocaust<br />
upon <strong>New</strong> York City. <strong>The</strong><br />
painter tries to cut off his hands to<br />
prevent further prophecies, while<br />
the jumper openly accepts his<br />
newfound destiny.<br />
Heroes follows Lost’s example<br />
on a superficial level—it withholds<br />
plot development from the<br />
audience to generate intrigue. But<br />
what really hooks the viewer is<br />
the phenomenal ensemble cast.<br />
From Tokyo’s space/time bending<br />
(and aptly named) Hiro to<br />
nigh-invulnerable Texas cheerleader<br />
Claire, Heroes hosts a slew<br />
of characters who are more than<br />
ready to sustain viewer attention<br />
for 22 episodes.<br />
Sure enough, there are plenty<br />
of “omigod!” revelations as the<br />
series progresses. Just imagine<br />
an amalgamation of Lost and X-<br />
Men with fewer characters but<br />
more potential for development.<br />
excited yet?!<br />
Rating: 4 stylish tacos<br />
- John Zuarino<br />
dVd<br />
Vice Guide to Travel<br />
<strong>The</strong> VICE Guide to Travel DVD<br />
(based on VICE’s travel issue)<br />
covers short documentaries about<br />
seven places nobody wants to<br />
visit, other than the people that<br />
made it.<br />
Music<br />
Cinema Libre Studio<br />
Among the fixings: VICE cofounder<br />
Suroosh Alvi visits an<br />
illegal arms market in Pakistan,<br />
where people hand-make guns,<br />
and sell AK-47s for hundreds of<br />
dollars. Trace Crutchfield, a VICE<br />
correspondent, goes to Rio, where<br />
he gets shot at by the police and<br />
films a drug lord’s private party.<br />
And Boy Scouts in Beirut sing<br />
songs about the glory of death.<br />
It’s not vapid eye-candy—they<br />
are situations taken from a youth’s<br />
perspective, just slightly more absurd<br />
than <strong>The</strong> Darwin Awards.<br />
Rating: AEROBATIC!<br />
– Najva Soleimani<br />
Xiu Xiu, <strong>The</strong> Air Force<br />
Beneath Xiu Xiu’s angular guitar<br />
lines, skeletal drum-machine<br />
beats and splattering<br />
electronics<br />
on <strong>The</strong> Air Force,<br />
there lies a true<br />
diligence to pop<br />
songcraft.<br />
“<strong>The</strong> Pineapple Vs. <strong>The</strong> Watermelon,”<br />
about a loved one’s suicide,<br />
juxtaposes a gentle acoustic<br />
guitar and piano with songwriter<br />
Jamie Stewart’s anguished halftalks.<br />
As forlorn and pitiful as it<br />
sounds, it’s beautiful. But it’s not<br />
as infectious as “Boy Soprano,”<br />
an electro-clash ditty with a bouncy<br />
bass line, a skittering beat and<br />
fluttering flute accents. Or “Save<br />
Me Save Me,” engulfed in electronic<br />
squeaks, gongs and overdubs<br />
upon overdubs of Stewart’s<br />
melodic, enraptured call. This is<br />
pain at its most danceable. One<br />
wonders how long it’ll be before<br />
Xiu Xiu’s twisted language loses<br />
steam, but Stewart will always<br />
have a place in the darkest corners<br />
of the pop universe.<br />
7<br />
Nadia Chaudhury<br />
nbc.com<br />
(Above) <strong>The</strong> precocious and supernatural<br />
teens of the TV show Heroes.<br />
(Left) An actor from the film Conventioneers<br />
gets an phone call during a<br />
protest.<br />
Rating: Gary Karp’s approval<br />
-Peter Holslin<br />
Books<br />
<strong>The</strong> Mystery Guest. By Gregorie<br />
Bouillier. trans. By Lorin stein<br />
Who knew that a neurotic with<br />
a bottle of ’64 Margaux could<br />
discover the meaning of life at<br />
French photographer Sophie Calle’s<br />
birthday party? In Grégoire<br />
Bouillier’s new<br />
memoir, anything<br />
is possible.<br />
<strong>The</strong> story<br />
begins in late<br />
1990 on the<br />
day of philosopher<br />
Michel<br />
Leiris’s death. Bouillier receives<br />
a phone call from his ex-lover<br />
inviting him to attend Calle’s<br />
birthday party as that year’s mystery<br />
guest. Suddenly, Bouillier’s<br />
narrative leaps from Leiris to the<br />
space probe Ulysses to Bouillier’s<br />
current lover (who, as he recalls,<br />
“loved me despite my turtleneckundershirts”).<br />
Bouillier writes in a stream-ofconsciousness<br />
style that delves<br />
into every nuance of his life. He<br />
draws parallels between his ex<br />
and Mrs. Dalloway, putting his<br />
former relationship to rest and<br />
finally changing the bathroom<br />
light bulb. “What was the point<br />
of living,” Bouillier writes, “if we<br />
spent our lives fulfilling the desires<br />
of inanimate objects?”<br />
While taking forty pages to describe<br />
a ten-minute party might<br />
seem to make for some seriously<br />
daunting reading, every word<br />
Bouillier writes somehow flows<br />
cohesively. It’s magical.<br />
Rating: More stylish tacos<br />
– John Zuarino
8 Closing Time<br />
Neighborhood Profile: Governor’s Island<br />
By Magali Pijpers<br />
<strong>The</strong> U.S. Coast Guard used Governor’s Island as a base until it closed its facilities in 1997. In 2003, the Federal Government returned the island to <strong>New</strong> York State<br />
and City, under the Governor’s Island Preservation & education Corporation (GIPeC).<br />
Twenty-two acres are now devoted to the Governor’s Island National Monument. Visitors can tour the island’s National Historic Landmark District—which includes<br />
forts, the Historic Parade Grounds, mansions, and views—by taking a ferry from Manhattan. Meanwhile, intrepid Inprint staffers can break some rules and<br />
find the other Governor’s Island, full of fiberglass coyotes and abandoned elementary schools. <strong>The</strong> island is open only during the summer.<br />
A Flavaful Wrap-up of Flavor of Love<br />
By Nora Costello<br />
This week marks the end of another<br />
Flavtastic season of boobs,<br />
booty, and brawls on VH1’s Celebreality<br />
hit, Flavor of Love. For<br />
those of you who missed it, here’s<br />
a Flavolicious Whitman’s Sampler<br />
of all the nuts, cream, and<br />
nougat.<br />
After a sleepy start, Love regains<br />
some of last season’s heat when<br />
veteran “<strong>New</strong> York” (pre-Flav<br />
name Tiffany) returns and brings<br />
Krazy with her. <strong>New</strong> York wastes<br />
no time whipping the ladies into<br />
shape, criticizing everything from<br />
breast pertness to “white trash”<br />
hairlines. Ass cheeks ever so<br />
slightly protruding beneath the<br />
hem of her skirt, <strong>New</strong> York is the<br />
perfect picture of class and decorum,<br />
and the ladies are rightly<br />
intimidated when Flav invites her<br />
to stay. But <strong>New</strong> York only serves<br />
as fuel to an already roiling fire.<br />
Herewith is a sketch of each of<br />
the leading characters:<br />
Buckwild: An offensive but<br />
sweet white girl borne of an unfortunate<br />
identity crisis. “I’m so<br />
black my pussy tastes like menthol.”<br />
Ahem. enough said. Selfeliminated.<br />
Krazy: A doe-eyed hottie with<br />
packaging peanuts for brains.<br />
Willing do to whatever it takes<br />
(wink wink) to win over record<br />
produc...ahem...Flav’s heart.<br />
eliminated when Flav discovers<br />
her true motives.<br />
Bootz: <strong>The</strong> first to call out the<br />
“fake-ass hoes,” especially Krazy.<br />
Most likely to be remembered<br />
for her triple-e breasts, bikiniclad,<br />
captured in slow-mo in the<br />
pool. “I wanna slip through her<br />
molecules of wetness like an eel<br />
through the seaweed,” Flav muses<br />
wistfully. But alas, the lovers<br />
must part—Bootz was eliminated<br />
when she informed Flav of her<br />
celibacy.<br />
Deelishis: One of the more<br />
bootylicious candidates, but with<br />
unfortunate globules on her arms<br />
that are truly unsightly and just<br />
strange. She seems genuinely<br />
interested in Flav, and he seems<br />
genuinely unfazed by her mustache—although<br />
the dinner with<br />
her parents during which dad<br />
orders a “carton of pigeon milk”<br />
may hurt her chances. One of the<br />
final two.<br />
Buckeey: Crop-topped cutie<br />
with a penchant for having her ass<br />
grabbed. eliminated for almost<br />
killing Krazy by pushing her over<br />
a balcony.<br />
Ah yes, a lovely array of true<br />
class and culture…’twas a shame<br />
to watch it dwindle. But dwindle<br />
it must. One by one these gems<br />
must rejoin their charm school<br />
brethren. Whether it be Deelishis<br />
or <strong>New</strong> York, whoever finds herself<br />
writhing under the gold lamé<br />
blanket at the end of the night<br />
should consider herself a truly<br />
lucky gal.