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INPRINT<br />

• Democracy? What democracy? (Pg. 2)<br />

• Annie Dillard is a great reader. (Pg. 5)<br />

Fall 2006, Issue 4<br />

Oct. 17 - Oct. 30 Serving Eugene Lang College and the <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> Community<br />

Copyright © 2006 Inprint<br />

A skewer of vegetables on a grill in the Lang cafeteria. Matthew Mann<br />

Fresh Food in the Cafeteria<br />

An Exercise in Sustainability<br />

By Rob Hartman<br />

A crowd gathered in the cafeteria<br />

late last Wednesday to eat<br />

barbecued vegetables and grilled<br />

spinach sandwiches, made by the<br />

Sustainability Committee, Lang’s<br />

first and only environmental<br />

group.<br />

While serving shish-kebabs of<br />

eggplant and other vegetables<br />

from the Union Square Green<br />

Market and Food Liberation<br />

Health Market, members informed<br />

students and faculty of the<br />

importance of the local farming<br />

economy, and collected 98 signatures<br />

on their petition to urge<br />

<strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>’s dining service,<br />

Chartwells, to buy local foods.<br />

“We are about mitigating the<br />

negative environmental impacts<br />

that we participate in and observe<br />

on campus,” said James Subudhi,<br />

the group’s interim president. <strong>The</strong><br />

committee works to implement<br />

various greening projects, which<br />

get the school to institutionalize<br />

environmentally friendly practices.<br />

<strong>The</strong> Sustainability Committee<br />

formed in Fall of 2005 and soon<br />

began pushing greening projects.<br />

Last Spring, they surveyed recycling<br />

facilities around campus<br />

and created spreadsheets locating<br />

where different kinds of receptacles<br />

could be placed to maximize<br />

efficiency, Subudhi said.<br />

Meanwhile, the group asked<br />

that <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>’s Facility<br />

Department make signs for receptacles<br />

on every building floor.<br />

Facilities brought more recycling<br />

bins to school offices. <strong>The</strong> group<br />

hopes bins can be provided for<br />

individual dorm rooms, as well,<br />

said Subudhi.<br />

Another recent event the committee<br />

organized was a workshop<br />

InsIde InprInt:<br />

Fun in drag! (Pg. 6)<br />

on how to compost common<br />

waste, such as banana peels and<br />

coffee grounds, to be recycled<br />

into fertilizer and sold to farmers.<br />

According to Subudhi, it is a<br />

basic environmental concern to<br />

understand the relationship between<br />

the <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> and its resources.<br />

“<strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> has to get<br />

electricity from somewhere, it has<br />

to get water from somewhere. It<br />

produces waste. That waste has to<br />

go somewhere. <strong>The</strong>se are all issues<br />

that arise just from the day to<br />

day maintenance of the university<br />

that impact the environment,” he<br />

said.<br />

This semester, the committee is<br />

focusing on how food is sold on<br />

campus, said communications officer<br />

Zeno Levy. <strong>The</strong> group plans<br />

to highlight the negative impact<br />

food production has on the environment<br />

and how to improve it.<br />

Supporting local farms is an<br />

important part of sustaining<br />

the environment, Subudhi said.<br />

Large-scale industrial agriculture<br />

creates over-processed and<br />

under-nourishing food, and uses<br />

large amounts of water and pollutant,<br />

synthetic fertilizers and<br />

pesticides, an informational print<br />

out at the event read.<br />

Independent and family farms<br />

use production methods, such as<br />

free range cattle grazing, that<br />

make healthier food and generate<br />

less waste and pollutants, the<br />

print out reads. It also takes farmers<br />

less time and energy on local<br />

farms to transport products to<br />

markets, reducing carbon dioxide<br />

emissions, Subudhi said.<br />

“We have a farmer’s market,<br />

which is probably the best in<br />

all of <strong>New</strong> York City, an orange<br />

throw away from where we go to<br />

class,” Subudhi said.<br />

<strong>New</strong> York coyotes. (Pg. 8)<br />

deans, new provost Look to the Future<br />

By Peter Holslin<br />

When Ben Lee, <strong>The</strong><br />

<strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>’s recently appointed<br />

provost, and the<br />

deans of each <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong><br />

division, met last summer<br />

to take inventory of the<br />

university’s academic offerings,<br />

they made some<br />

startling discoveries. For<br />

instance: the university offers<br />

more than 100 courses<br />

under the heading of “urban<br />

studies.”<br />

“It turns out we have a<br />

shocking amount of urban<br />

studies going on here,”<br />

Michael Schober, Dean<br />

of <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> for<br />

Social Research, later told<br />

Inprint. But, he added, Provost Ben Lee Alexander Porter<br />

there is a catch: most of<br />

the courses are only available to<br />

students in their respective divisions.<br />

“It’s kind of weird that students<br />

at one school don’t really<br />

get to benefit from all of the rest<br />

of it,” Schober said.<br />

In many ways, the urban studies<br />

situation encapsulates <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong><br />

<strong>School</strong>’s biggest challenge—to<br />

function as one integrated whole<br />

rather than eight semi-autonomous<br />

divisions, and to prevent<br />

resources that could be beneficial<br />

for the entire community from<br />

falling by the wayside because<br />

of outdated, conflicting and redundant<br />

bureaucratic structures.<br />

Administrators insist that plans<br />

are underway to rework the university’s<br />

budget and develop new<br />

governance strategies, which will<br />

increase cooperation between<br />

divisions and ultimately lead to<br />

the development of true university-wide<br />

programs. At the same<br />

time, they acknowledge that unforeseen<br />

conflicts may arise in the<br />

coming months, as the first phase<br />

of this ambitious and complicated<br />

process unfolds.<br />

One of the key agents of change<br />

is likely to be the new provost,<br />

or chief academic officer. <strong>New</strong><br />

<strong>School</strong> President Bob Kerrey<br />

appointed Lee to the position on<br />

July 1st, replacing Arjun Appadurai,<br />

who resigned abruptly last<br />

spring and is now one of Kerrey’s<br />

advisors.<br />

<strong>The</strong> provost office is a relatively<br />

new and underdeveloped position<br />

at the <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>. Since President<br />

Jonathan Fanton, who served<br />

from 1982 to 1999, created the<br />

post late in his term, no provosts<br />

have yet finished their appointed<br />

terms, Lee said.<br />

According to Lee, when Appadurai<br />

became provost in 2002,<br />

he expected to find a developed<br />

office similar to those of universities<br />

like the University of Chicago,<br />

where he served as a fulltime<br />

professor before coming to<br />

the <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>. Instead, he discovered<br />

he had to build the office<br />

himself.<br />

Appadurai was at a disadvantage<br />

because the university is “budgetdriven,”<br />

Lee said. This year’s<br />

Campus Master Plan, which maps<br />

out future construction plans, reports<br />

that the university relies on<br />

tuition for 75% of its operation.<br />

Appadurai had to balance a growing<br />

student population, a relatively<br />

measly endowment that grew<br />

CONTINUeD ON PAGe 5<br />

Questionable Police Tactics?<br />

By Leijia Hanrahan<br />

On Saturday, October 7th, the<br />

weekend was off to a cloudy beginning<br />

as the Minutemen, a volunteer<br />

group that rounds up illegal<br />

immigrants at U.S. borders, and<br />

several sympathetic and affiliated<br />

citizen’s groups, gathered at the<br />

Mexican consulate in midtown. A<br />

group of counter-protesters were<br />

there to greet them.<br />

<strong>The</strong> scene was almost comical<br />

from across the street: two<br />

groups of demonstrators, both<br />

in separate “protest pens” (areas<br />

sectioned off by small removable<br />

barricades), facing each other on<br />

the sidewalk, one on either side<br />

of the consulate’s main door, with<br />

Mets have more fun. (Pg. 3)<br />

<strong>The</strong> First Phase of a Complex Plan<br />

First-Person Report<br />

police standing around in the<br />

blocked-off street. Signs and flags<br />

waved, insults were shouted back<br />

and forth. <strong>The</strong> counter-protestors<br />

easily outnumbered the Minutemen<br />

at least two to one. Soon,<br />

things got ugly.<br />

Police dragged one man out of<br />

the counter-protest pen and into<br />

the street, where they searched<br />

and arrested him—for spitting on<br />

the ground, a health code violation.<br />

Sergeant Mirabal of the 17th<br />

precinct pointed mace and a taser<br />

gun point-blank at those who<br />

calmly approached the scene to<br />

get a phone number for the arrestee’s<br />

lawyer.<br />

Shortly after the Minutemen<br />

recited the pledge of allegiance<br />

65 West 11th Street, Rm 350, <strong>New</strong> York, NY 10011<br />

Prefix First Mid Last<br />

Ad dress_1 , Add ress_2<br />

City, State Z ip<br />

Country<br />

and left, kindly escorted by the<br />

NYPD, their counter-protestors<br />

stayed on the sidewalk, pondering<br />

the best way to get to where the<br />

spitting arrestee was being held.<br />

Mirabal ordered them to disperse.<br />

One man began to respond, “this<br />

is a public sidewa--” when the<br />

Sergeant shouted, “Come here,<br />

you motherfucker!” and chased<br />

after him, across the intersection<br />

and down the block. Counter-protestors<br />

followed. A few minutes<br />

later, five more people had been<br />

arrested - including the author<br />

of this article, who spent the following<br />

36 hours in three different<br />

jails.<br />

It wasn’t until the early hours<br />

of Monday morning that everyone<br />

was finally released, facing<br />

charges like “inciting a riot.” Our<br />

court date is November 13th.


2 editorials<br />

INPRINT<br />

eugene Lang College,<br />

<strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> For Liberal Arts<br />

65 West 11th St.<br />

Room 070<br />

<strong>New</strong> York, NY 10011<br />

212-229-5100 ext. 2212<br />

<strong>inprint</strong>@newschool.edu<br />

Editor in Chief:<br />

Peter Holslin<br />

Managing Editor:<br />

Nadia Chaudhury<br />

Production Associate:<br />

Kayley Hoffman<br />

Advertising Director:<br />

Jen Cernitz<br />

Business Associate:<br />

Sophie Friedman<br />

<strong>New</strong>s Editor:<br />

Liza Minno<br />

<strong>New</strong>s Deputy:<br />

Hannah Rappleye<br />

Opinions Editor:<br />

Zach Warsavage<br />

Entertainment Editor:<br />

Almie Rose Vazzano<br />

Entertainment Deputy:<br />

Nora Costello<br />

Photography Editor:<br />

Alexander Porter<br />

Photography Deputy:<br />

Tyler Magyar<br />

Graphics Editor:<br />

Blake Leonard<br />

Illustrator:<br />

Jeremy Schalagen<br />

Copy Editors:<br />

Liz Adams, Kelly Klein<br />

Faculty Advisors:<br />

Rob Buchanan, Sean elder,<br />

Margo Jefferson, Sarah Saffian<br />

Inprint is now soliciting advertising.<br />

For more information,<br />

contact Jen Cernitz<br />

at <strong>inprint</strong>ads@gmail.com<br />

Table of Contents<br />

page 3:<br />

• Mets > Yankees<br />

• Kim Jong-il’s nukes<br />

• Jesus freaks abound<br />

• Politeness, explained<br />

page 4:<br />

• Strategic planning<br />

• Matt Groening speaks<br />

• What’s the Haps?<br />

page 5:<br />

• Cover Stories<br />

• Around the Courtyard<br />

• Cheap Russian Mp3s<br />

• Annie Dillard<br />

• Profile: Gerney Ackman<br />

page 6:<br />

• Daily Show: the taping<br />

• Rubulad mania<br />

• Interview with Mew<br />

page 7:<br />

• Reviews<br />

page 8:<br />

• Photo essay:<br />

Governor’s Island<br />

• Flava Flav’s beauties<br />

• Steven Segal’s Asian<br />

experience<br />

except for editorials, opinions expressed<br />

herein are those of individual<br />

writers and not of Inprint. Please<br />

send any letters and submissions to<br />

<strong>inprint</strong>@newschool.edu. Inprint does<br />

not publish unsigned letters. Letters<br />

may be edited for length and clarity.<br />

Inprint is not responsible for unpublished<br />

letters or submissions.<br />

neXt sUBMIssIOn<br />

deAdLIne:<br />

OCTOBER 23<br />

Re: At Lang Activists Wants,<br />

By Jen Kolic, Oct. 3rd<br />

Three weeks ago, Congress<br />

passed President George W.<br />

Bush’s Military Commissions<br />

Act of 2006, making a failed antiterror<br />

strategy law and degrading<br />

the American justice system at<br />

the same time.<br />

<strong>The</strong> bill defines a terrorist using<br />

the mushy legal term “illegal<br />

enemy combatant,” and guts the<br />

Geneva Conventions. It suspends<br />

habeas corpus, legitimizes coerced<br />

evidence and hearsay and<br />

denies defendants access to this<br />

evidence in court. It also limits<br />

the courts’ ability to challenge<br />

these drastic changes.<br />

A <strong>New</strong> York Times editorial put<br />

it well: the bill would essentially<br />

grant President Bush “the power<br />

to jail pretty much anyone he<br />

wants, for long as he wants, without<br />

charging them.”<br />

It is hard to fathom how a bill like<br />

this was ever proposed, let alone<br />

Let me speak of the anti-war<br />

movement and its impotence.<br />

Any thinker worth half his snuff<br />

can see that the liberal Left and<br />

anti-war protestors represent<br />

only the “other half of the same<br />

coin,” as Democratic Senators,<br />

punk rockers, documentarians,<br />

students and other “liberals” continually<br />

respond to the conservative<br />

capitalist war machine using<br />

its same rhetorical methods.<br />

What, then, does the anti-war<br />

movement represent, except a<br />

polarized country?<br />

We do not ground our efforts<br />

against the war in a philosophy<br />

of altruism and non-violence.<br />

Rather, we discuss the pretenses<br />

for the war and the troop levels<br />

(as though, had Saddam Hussein<br />

possessed weapons of mass<br />

destruction, and had we won the<br />

war easily, then war itself is an<br />

excusable undertaking). Talk<br />

like, “we need more troops,” or<br />

“we need less troops,” amounts<br />

to little more than pleasurable<br />

dinner conversation. <strong>The</strong>se criticisms<br />

appease the liberal’s conscience<br />

(“I marched today, I did<br />

my duty.”) as he or she continues<br />

to enjoy the variety and luxury of<br />

American life. Meanwhile nothing<br />

is done to correct the grave<br />

errors fundamental to our system<br />

(namely, the dehumanizing effect<br />

of our economy and the emptiness<br />

caused by secularization,<br />

the exploitation of the developing<br />

world).<br />

Constitution? What Constitution?<br />

Sacrificing the American Justice System<br />

for the Mid-Term Elections<br />

adopted. In a recent multi-agency<br />

report, the US intelligence community<br />

concluded that secret prisons,<br />

rendition programs, extrajudicial<br />

detentions in Guantanamo<br />

Bay and the use of “enhanced interrogation<br />

tactics,” including using<br />

detainees as paint-ball targets<br />

and forcing them into humiliating<br />

sexual positions, had done more<br />

to embolden the international terrorist<br />

movement than suppress it.<br />

evidently, the Bush Administration<br />

would rather ignore the<br />

advice of its own experts than<br />

admit its catastrophic strategic<br />

errors. This bill would seem to<br />

make these ineffective, legally<br />

questionable and even unconstitutional<br />

methods perfectly legal<br />

and legitimate.<br />

Why didn’t the Senate filibuster<br />

this monstrous bill? Whatever<br />

happened to the Constitution?<br />

Did every politician in Congress<br />

Letters to the editor<br />

“Did the President do a good<br />

job bringing our allies into the<br />

war?” This line of questioning<br />

serves to legitimize the president’s<br />

warmongering.<br />

Our questions only concern the<br />

use of our giant military, not its<br />

existence. No one asks what right<br />

a country has to arm hundreds<br />

of thousands of soldiers with sophisticated<br />

equipment designed<br />

to obliterate other human beings?<br />

Is the existence of such a military<br />

not proof of our intentions to use<br />

it? Can death and destruction, in<br />

any context, be moral?<br />

For me, and for many people<br />

disillusioned with our society,<br />

terrorist attacks against the U.S.<br />

ought to have caused a public<br />

discussion, bringing up questions<br />

like, “Why would anyone<br />

want to perpetuate such violence<br />

against the American people?”<br />

<strong>The</strong> country’s violent reaction<br />

and the Left’s picayune criticisms<br />

of the war should disgust<br />

anyone interested in peace and<br />

happiness. <strong>The</strong> only proper thing<br />

to do is to either ignore terrorism<br />

all together, or politely invite<br />

Osama bin Laden to discuss his<br />

issues with the west. What could<br />

disarm the terrorist threat as fully<br />

as forgiveness?<br />

If we are to build a worthwhile<br />

movement against the war, it<br />

cannot be based on exploitative<br />

principles. Instead, we have to<br />

seriously examine the causes of<br />

terrorism and what an appropri-<br />

ate reaction.<br />

- Allen strouse, Junior,<br />

Lang<br />

Re: Parsons? Don’t Read<br />

This, By Justin Lane-Briggs,<br />

Oct. 3rd<br />

I found the self-righteous Lang<br />

vs. Parsons polemics published<br />

in the past few weeks to be pretty<br />

funny, and a convenient tool to<br />

wipe the extra cream cheese off<br />

my Murray‘s bagel. <strong>The</strong> student<br />

newspaper, however, isn’t the<br />

forum for this kind of blatantly<br />

controversial ego-bashing—isn’t<br />

that what blogs and the secondfloor<br />

Lang women’s bathroom<br />

stalls are for?<br />

If anything, my criticism isn’t<br />

aimed at all ya’ll haters, but at<br />

the editors who chose to include<br />

those letters in Inprint. <strong>The</strong>re’s<br />

a difference between legitimate<br />

opinions and baseless hate-driven<br />

bullshit.<br />

Which brings me to my next<br />

point: the self-deprecating hipster<br />

humor constantly making its way<br />

into this paper in some form or<br />

other is, like, so 2005. Sorry, the<br />

tight pants/clove-smoking jokes<br />

just aren’t funny anymore. either<br />

find some new material or—and<br />

here’s a novel idea—instead of<br />

trying to cover our bases by making<br />

fun of ourselves before the<br />

Princeton Review does, we could<br />

try being a little more positive<br />

about the fact that we’re not getting<br />

groped at some frat party or<br />

getting ready for “the big game.”<br />

Yeah, being cynical earns you<br />

street cred, but let’s face it—we<br />

came to <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> for a reason,<br />

and it’s not because anyone<br />

forced us, and it’s only partially<br />

just happen to forget that, in the<br />

United States, criminals are innocent<br />

until proven guilty?<br />

Of course, the Democrats’ resistance<br />

to the bill before it was<br />

passed just made them look<br />

worse, thanks to silly but effective<br />

administration catch-phrases<br />

like “stay the course” and “Defeatocrats.”<br />

<strong>The</strong> bill passed just in<br />

time for the mid-term elections—<br />

a handy tool that Republicans<br />

can use to give Americans the<br />

impression that they are dedicated<br />

to fighting the terrorist threat.<br />

In fact, they have only made the<br />

fight more difficult.<br />

<strong>The</strong> legitimacy of the Geneva<br />

Conventions, and more importantly<br />

of our own once-respected<br />

judicial system, should not be<br />

sacrificed for the sake of a midterm<br />

election. Yet that’s exactly<br />

what seems to have happened.<br />

A Call for Change Sick of it All<br />

because we didn’t get into NYU.<br />

Just a thought.<br />

- Jess sanchez, Junior,<br />

Lang, Literature<br />

I am not angry about the letter<br />

printed last issue that accused<br />

Lang students of being NYU<br />

rejects. I’m disappointed. Well,<br />

sure, maybe I am little angry.<br />

If the writer made reference to a<br />

small “Madison Ave. crew,” how<br />

could he possibly be so hypocritical<br />

as to claim that all Lang<br />

students are intellectual masturbators?<br />

Or that we all aim for the<br />

esoteric?<br />

And the NYU comment? Calling<br />

us hipsters? Today, I’ll be the<br />

pot and he can be the kettle.<br />

In all fairness, I do tease my Parsons<br />

friends about class on Friday<br />

and their nearly insurmountable<br />

workload, but I’d never be so<br />

presumptuous as to judge their<br />

intellect because of the college<br />

they chose to attend. This writer<br />

doesn’t seem to have a problem<br />

with that. I mean, why waste his<br />

time when he can make sweeping<br />

generalizatioins? Why not make<br />

the rift a little bit bigger while<br />

licking his wounds?<br />

I don’t love Lang. I don’t love<br />

Parsons, or Mannes, or the Jazz<br />

<strong>School</strong>—I love the <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong>.<br />

So, I think I speak for all those<br />

who were offended by this writer’s<br />

letter when I say this: Piss<br />

off, yourself.<br />

- Hillary “Billy” Mosner, Lang,<br />

Freshman, Undecided


What to Do With Kim’s Nuke?<br />

By Linh Tran<br />

Last week, the North Koreans<br />

tested what looked by all accounts<br />

to be a nuclear weapon.<br />

I always suspected that Kim<br />

Jong Il was crazy. (I mean, come<br />

on, the man wears the same outfit<br />

every time he’s in front of a camera—and<br />

what’s with that pompadour?)<br />

But, until that Sunday<br />

night, I had never considered him<br />

a threat. Truth be told, I had never<br />

really considered anything about<br />

North Korea.<br />

This man may well have the<br />

power to vaporize us all. But no<br />

one has anything even close to an<br />

effective plan to stop him. How<br />

did things come to this?<br />

Our leaders, evidently, have<br />

been just as inattentive as I have:<br />

dismissing Kim Jong-il as a<br />

harmless paper tiger. “<strong>The</strong> world<br />

has consistently underestimated<br />

North Korea’s ‘Dear Leader,’”<br />

one TIME magazine article noted.<br />

“Of his potential to cause a bloody<br />

war on the peninsula there is little<br />

doubt. According to U.S. intelligence,<br />

Kim may have at least<br />

eight nuclear devices by now.”<br />

Uh oh. Wait, when did this piece<br />

run? In June of 2004—What?!<br />

<strong>The</strong> more I read about North Korea,<br />

the more appalled I am at the<br />

way the international community<br />

has refused to deal with the country—on<br />

any level. I’m not just<br />

referring to the resistance to military<br />

intervention when we discovered<br />

how their weapons program<br />

had developed. I’m talking about<br />

the famine that struck the country<br />

in the 1990s, a famine so severe<br />

that nearly two million people<br />

Opinions<br />

<strong>The</strong> Mets Are Better. <strong>The</strong>y Have More Fun, Too.<br />

By Josh Kurp<br />

Nearly two hours after the <strong>New</strong><br />

York Mets clinched the NL east<br />

crown, I was still at Shea Stadium<br />

drenched in champagne,<br />

beer and water. <strong>The</strong> Mets were<br />

just as soaked with bubbly when<br />

they came back out onto the field,<br />

much to the delight of the 2,000<br />

fans still in the stands. Squeezed<br />

into the front row next to the dugout,<br />

I shook hands with Jose Reyes<br />

and David Wright, drank Mike<br />

Pelfrey’s beer and got sprayed by<br />

Paul Lo Duca with the hose they<br />

use to water the field.<br />

Would fans of the Mets’ crosstown<br />

rival, the <strong>New</strong> York Yankees,<br />

have celebrated like this?<br />

Ha! When A Rod breaks out of a<br />

slump, they’re still ready to kill<br />

the guy. But at Shea it’s another<br />

story. When Mets’ shortstop Jose<br />

Reyes dropped a ball an inning<br />

after hitting an inside the park<br />

home run, the fans actually stood<br />

up and cheered the guy.<br />

I’ll admit that the Yankees have<br />

owned this town for well over a<br />

decade, and rightly so. But let’s<br />

face it: <strong>New</strong> Yorkers are sick of<br />

the whole overpaid, overrated,<br />

over-covered (by the media) act.<br />

<strong>The</strong>y want something new, and<br />

that’s where the Mets come in. I<br />

mean, would you rather choose<br />

the sulky 30-year-old A Rod or<br />

the hunky 23-year-old David<br />

Wright? I think you’ll make the<br />

Wright choice.<br />

Bad puns aside, the Mets have<br />

Jeremy Schlangen<br />

died. When Kim Jong-il, in a<br />

truly shocking move, appealed to<br />

the international community for<br />

relief, nothing happened.<br />

Our own response is particularly<br />

baffling. After all, the U.S.<br />

was gung-ho about invading Iraq,<br />

despite a heap of very flimsy intelligence.<br />

At the same time we<br />

turned a blind eye to North Korea,<br />

and now they’re testing nukes.<br />

In a press conference on Wednesday,<br />

President Bush rejected the<br />

possibility of holding talks with<br />

North Korea, and instead stood<br />

by his earlier statements saying,<br />

“we’re not going to deal with<br />

them as a nuclear weapons state.”<br />

Great, let’s just put our heads in<br />

the sand.<br />

Unfortunately, the other choice<br />

(invading a country that is known<br />

to have nuclear weapons) looks<br />

even less palatable, since it would<br />

basically amount to inviting Kim<br />

Jong-il to launch everything he’s<br />

got. So, thanks, Mr. Bush: you’ve<br />

backed us into quite the corner.<br />

a fun-loving chemistry that isn’t<br />

ruined by personalities like Jason“I’m-going-to-rat-on-myteammates”<br />

Giambi or Randy<br />

“I-stink-but-won’t-change-mypitching-style”<br />

Johnson. No. We<br />

get guys like Julio Franco and<br />

endy Chavez, who took time out<br />

of their day to pose in a picture<br />

with my 13-year-old cousin while<br />

in Pittsburgh.<br />

That’s why I was so happy when<br />

the Tigers beat the Yankees in the<br />

first round of the playoffs, and almost<br />

as happy as when the Mets<br />

obliterated the Dodgers a few<br />

days later. When I pointed this out<br />

to a friend who happens to be a<br />

Yankee fan, he mumbled, “I don’t<br />

want to get started on the whole<br />

Yankees thing.”<br />

<strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> York media whipped<br />

up quite a rivalry near the end of<br />

the season between Reyes and the<br />

Yankees’ shortstop, Derek Jeter.<br />

Both are arguably the best players<br />

on their teams: Jeter, for his<br />

clutch hitting and consistency,<br />

and Reyes for, well, everything.<br />

<strong>The</strong>re’s nothing that can bring a<br />

Met fan’s spirits up quicker than<br />

watching Reyes run the bases.<br />

As much as I want to hate Jeter,<br />

I’ve got nothing against the guy.<br />

<strong>The</strong> same sentiment extends to<br />

Mo Rivera. But that’s about where<br />

my um…Yankee-loving ends.<br />

And I’m not the only one who<br />

loves to hate the Yanks. If you do<br />

a YouTube search for “<strong>New</strong> York<br />

Yankees,” the most popular video<br />

Jesus Freaks Are At it Again<br />

By Jen Kolic<br />

Someone’s gotta say it: Religion<br />

is making people crazy.<br />

And I’m not even talking about<br />

that screwy guy who killed those<br />

Amish girls—even though he<br />

supposedly thought their prayers<br />

could cure him of pedophilia.<br />

I’m talking about the serious<br />

cases. Like people who think<br />

they’re raising an “Army of God.”<br />

Apparently these people haven’t<br />

heard of the Children’s Crusade,<br />

a movement to teach children the<br />

values of evangelism—which<br />

makes sense. I’m going to take a<br />

wild guess here that the only history<br />

book they study is the Bible.<br />

<strong>The</strong>se kids are vessels to perpetuate<br />

their parents’ irrational beliefs.<br />

Don’t believe me? Go see Jesus<br />

Camp, a documentary about<br />

an evangelical camp for kids. It<br />

opened about a week ago, and<br />

will hit major cities sooner than<br />

you can say “Kids on Fire.” (Oh<br />

yeah, I should mention, that’s the<br />

name of the camp.) Not only are<br />

the people running this place totally<br />

batshit insane, they’re teaching<br />

children that extremist behavior<br />

is normal.<br />

Seriously. God supposedly<br />

talks to these people. He tells<br />

them what to do. Sounds a little<br />

schizoid to me. Sounds like the<br />

people who run these camps are<br />

just afraid of making decisions<br />

for themselves. <strong>The</strong>y’ve got their<br />

kids thrashing around and crying<br />

all over the place, supposedly<br />

filled with the spirit of God.<br />

Who’s to say they’re not having<br />

panic attacks or something? May-<br />

is of David<br />

Ortiz of the<br />

Boston Red<br />

Sox’s beating<br />

the team<br />

in the playoffs.<br />

Why<br />

is that such<br />

a great video?<br />

People<br />

don’t want<br />

to see a topdog<br />

win. It’s<br />

much more<br />

entertaining<br />

to see them<br />

lose.<br />

And then<br />

there’s the<br />

fan base.<br />

<strong>The</strong> Yanks<br />

have washed<br />

up comedians<br />

like Billy<br />

Crystal.<br />

We’ve got<br />

Jon Stewart<br />

and Jerry<br />

S e i n f e l d .<br />

If that’s not good enough, we’ll<br />

stick John Gotti Jr. on you, who<br />

just so happens to root for the<br />

Amazin’s.<br />

Yankee lovers, you can keep<br />

your 26 world championships.<br />

But for this season you’re the<br />

team that went home early while<br />

the Mets became the toast of the<br />

town. Just like when Seinfeld’s<br />

George Constanza, in an attempt<br />

to leave the Yankees organization<br />

Mets third baseman David Wright.<br />

be their parents are just making<br />

them crazy…<br />

But it’s not just the parents and<br />

camps. evangelical leaders are<br />

going to extraordinary lengths<br />

to get kids hooked on Jesus, and<br />

to make sure they stay that way.<br />

Last week, <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> York Times<br />

reported that evangelical leaders<br />

across the country are struggling<br />

to maintain their base—only<br />

about 30% of baby boomers are<br />

“Bible-believing Christians,” and<br />

they fear that the number will<br />

shrink to a fraction of that in the<br />

coming years.<br />

“We’re working as hard as we<br />

know how to work,” said Ron<br />

Luce, founder of the youth ministry<br />

Teen Mania, “but we’re losing.”<br />

evangelicals have gone so far as<br />

to organize stadium-sized Christian<br />

rock concerts under the name<br />

“Acquire the Fire,” complete<br />

with pyrotechnics and the ceremonial<br />

destruction of what they<br />

call “cultural garbage,” like mainstream<br />

CDs, brand-name clothes<br />

and smoking paraphernalia.<br />

evangelical leaders don’t seem to<br />

realize the irony of using things<br />

like “Jesuspalooza” or “true love<br />

waits” bracelets for their cause.<br />

<strong>The</strong>ir rebellion just uses the same<br />

type of brand loyalty to get kids<br />

to conform to another set of accepted<br />

beliefs.<br />

It’s not that evangelicals aren’t<br />

trying hard enough. Maybe the<br />

majority of American teens just<br />

see evangelism for the load of<br />

ridiculous, hypocritical and literally<br />

unbelievable crap it really is.<br />

Jeremy Schlangen<br />

for the Mets, drove around the<br />

Yankee Stadium parking lot with<br />

a World Series trophy connected<br />

to his bumper, you’ll soon be taking<br />

the 7 train to the game and<br />

yelling, “Attention, Steinbrenner<br />

and front-office morons! Your<br />

triumphs mean nothing. You all<br />

stink. You can sit on it, and rotate!<br />

This is George Costanza. I fear no<br />

reprisal.”<br />

Pardon Moi?<br />

Today’s Polite<br />

World explained<br />

3<br />

By Amber Sutherland<br />

What is<br />

proper umbrellaetiquette?<br />

Just don’t<br />

use one. I<br />

am against umbrellas in theory<br />

and in practice; they take up too<br />

much personal space and they<br />

don’t keep you especially dry.<br />

<strong>The</strong> umbrella was not even originally<br />

intended for use in the rain.<br />

Rather, it originated as a protector<br />

from the sun. <strong>The</strong> word “umbrella”<br />

is from the Latin “umbra,”<br />

meaning “shade.” If you would<br />

like to use one for this purpose,<br />

just be polite and call it a parasol.<br />

Umbrellas also seem to evoke<br />

mankind’s primal desire for marking<br />

territory. When armed with an<br />

umbrella, people forget that everyone<br />

has an equal share of the<br />

sidewalk. <strong>The</strong>y rigidly grasp the<br />

savage weapon and graze anyone<br />

who may come into their peripheral<br />

path.<br />

Traditionally, a man is supposed<br />

to raise his umbrella above the<br />

path of oncoming pedestrians, but<br />

this courtesy is seldom extended.<br />

It is also improper to use an umbrella<br />

with exposed metal tips, as<br />

the inevitable grazing can cause<br />

damage.<br />

So, unless you’re a super-villain,<br />

try a nice trench coat and<br />

a wide brimmed hat. You’ll not<br />

only enjoy better shelter from the<br />

storm, but you’ll look like a filmnoir<br />

set piece.<br />

What do I do with a barfly who<br />

won’t leave me alone?<br />

Navigating a bar is difficult.<br />

Martinis are filled to the brim, you<br />

have to make eye contact with<br />

anyone very important and blow<br />

kisses to people you should know.<br />

To help out, delegate to your undesirable<br />

admirer the mechanical<br />

tasks, like carrying drinks and<br />

waiting in line for the lavatory.<br />

Think of the irritating barfly as<br />

your own personal waiter.<br />

It won’t take long for you to<br />

get used to sneering, “fetch me a<br />

cigarette, rummy.”<br />

Otherwise, stick to bars with<br />

policies about this sort of thing.<br />

<strong>The</strong> Milk and Honey on eldridge<br />

Street requires that anyone wanting<br />

to speak with a stranger must<br />

first request an introduction from<br />

the bartender. If the $20 cocktails<br />

seem a bit unreasonable, or you<br />

need your dive bar cred, bartenders<br />

at almost any bar will surely<br />

help deflect any undesirable advances.<br />

When I’m dJing or playing in a<br />

bar, should I tip on complimentary<br />

drinks?<br />

Average gratuity in bars and<br />

clubs is $1 per drink. If you take<br />

up two service periods (i.e. more<br />

than about 30 minutes for one<br />

drink), tip double. Likewise, tip<br />

double on complimentary drinks.<br />

<strong>The</strong> average price of a cocktail in<br />

Manhattan is $10. If you come<br />

out paying just $2 to the bartender,<br />

rather than five times that to<br />

the bar-owner, you win the show.<br />

Sutha907@newschool.edu


4 <strong>New</strong>s & Features<br />

Addressing Complicated Questions in Strategic Planning<br />

CONTINUeD FROM PAGe 1<br />

from $129 to $151 million over<br />

the past two years (the University<br />

of Chicago’s endowment is about<br />

$4.5 billion, according to Wikipedia),<br />

and this city’s skyrocketing<br />

real estate costs.<br />

Nevertheless, administrators say,<br />

Appadurai was integral in laying<br />

the groundwork for a unified university.<br />

He introduced joint-hiring<br />

(faculty are hired to teach in<br />

multiple divisions), established<br />

a faculty senate that gives fulltime<br />

faculty more influence on<br />

strategic planning, and created<br />

the university’s first faculty handbook.<br />

According to Lee, Appadurai<br />

continues to work closely with<br />

the provost’s office.<br />

Lee, previously Dean of <strong>The</strong><br />

<strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> for Social Research,<br />

described his job as “managing” a<br />

conversation between the university’s<br />

deans about the university’s<br />

future. He called last summer’s<br />

discussions, during retreats and<br />

weekly meetings, “unprecedented.”<br />

In the past, he noted, deans<br />

were “consulted, at best,” but did<br />

not play a large part in the development<br />

of a strategic plan for unification.<br />

One participant in those discussions,<br />

Jonathan Veitch, Dean<br />

of eugene Lang College, called<br />

Lee’s approach “artful.”<br />

“<strong>The</strong>re are advantages to forms<br />

of greater integration and unity,<br />

and there are advantages to maintaining<br />

a focus on individual<br />

missions,” Veitch said. “I think<br />

the university see-saws back and<br />

forth between those.” Lee is trying<br />

to “thread the needle” between<br />

the two, he said.<br />

Administrators who spoke to Inprint<br />

for this article said that the<br />

university’s main goal is to incorporate<br />

each division’s resources<br />

into a unified university program<br />

that will focus on five subjects:<br />

urban studies, media studies, international<br />

studies, environmen-<br />

Matt Groening at the Y<br />

By Josh Kurp<br />

As one tube-socked, sweatbanded,<br />

duffle-clutching healthnut<br />

left the gym at the 92nd Street<br />

Y.M.C.A. last Tuesday, he looked<br />

at the crowd lined up outside and<br />

wondered out loud, “Who is this<br />

Matt Groan-ing guy?”<br />

Among the standing-room-only<br />

crowd, though, it was hard to find<br />

anyone who couldn’t correctly<br />

pronounce the name of the man<br />

who invented <strong>The</strong> Simpsons (It’s<br />

pronounced “Gray-ning,” by the<br />

way).<br />

Matt Groening spoke with<br />

Gary Panter, creator of the comic<br />

character Jimbo, at an event appropriately<br />

dubbed “Comic Conversation.”<br />

Sponsored by the<br />

Jewish Museum, it was promoted<br />

as a public chat between two old<br />

friends who happened to share a<br />

gift for visual representation and<br />

a sardonic sense of humor.<br />

Groening kicked off the event<br />

by playing a clip from <strong>The</strong> Simpsons’<br />

annual “Treehouse of Horror”<br />

episode, which won’t be<br />

aired until November 5th.<br />

“It’s always fun to watch an episode<br />

with people other than my<br />

tal studies and a still-to-be-defined<br />

area currently referred to as<br />

“capitalism and democracy.”<br />

<strong>The</strong>se new programs will not<br />

replace the university’s divisions,<br />

Veitch said, but will exist<br />

alongside them. Courses in each<br />

division will be available to all<br />

students registered in those programs.<br />

Before the university can begin<br />

to develop them, however, administrators<br />

must reshape the way divisions<br />

determine their budgets,<br />

and develop a kind of governance<br />

structure to form them, Lee said.<br />

In the past, each division determined<br />

its budget by the number<br />

of students it had. <strong>The</strong>ir revenue<br />

typically would not increase, even<br />

if students at other divisions took<br />

classes there. By way of example,<br />

BA/BFA undergrads that enrolled<br />

at Lang but also took courses at<br />

<strong>The</strong> Jazz <strong>School</strong> or Parsons would<br />

count only as Lang students.<br />

“If you’re a Lang student, that’s<br />

it,” Veitch said. “Other divisions<br />

would let you into their classes as<br />

it pleased them, if they had room.<br />

<strong>The</strong>y weren’t particularly happy<br />

to have you there.”<br />

Administrators say they hope<br />

the new revenue-sharing formulae<br />

will overcome old tensions<br />

that have long existed between<br />

many of the university’s divisions—for<br />

instance, between Parsons<br />

and Lang, the two divisions<br />

which make the most money at<br />

the university, and NSSR, which<br />

usually operates on a deficit but<br />

needs money for prestigious fulltime<br />

faculty members who focus<br />

on research in addition to teaching.<br />

According to Tim Marshall,<br />

Dean of Parsons, that situation<br />

used to lead to tension between<br />

Parsons and NSSR, in part because<br />

many Parsons administrators<br />

felt that Parsons did not play<br />

an integral enough role at the university.<br />

son, Abe,” Groening said. “He’d<br />

rather watch Family Guy. It hurt<br />

my feelings that my kids like<br />

Family Guy more than <strong>The</strong> Simpsons,”<br />

he added, slyly.<br />

When he said the words “Family<br />

Guy,” the crowd booed.<br />

Panter, known as the “father of<br />

punk comics,” also showed some<br />

animation clips. Formerly a set<br />

designer for the television show<br />

Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, for which<br />

he won three emmys, he revealed<br />

that he and Paul Reubens (a.k.a.<br />

Pee-Wee Herman) had “just<br />

pitched an animation show of<br />

Pee-wee’s Playhouse” in which,<br />

“Pee-Wee falls asleep and wakes<br />

up in 1,000 years in the future and<br />

hates all the characters.”<br />

<strong>The</strong>re was a pleasant rapport and<br />

obvious ease between Panter and<br />

Groening. At one point, Groening<br />

turned to the crowd and said,<br />

“even if the two of us weren’t<br />

in front of you, we’d probably<br />

still be having the same conversation.”<br />

Later, he pulled out his<br />

Blackberry to look at their list of<br />

“forbidden topics” for the night,<br />

which, he said, included “alcoholics,<br />

terrorism, showbiz heart-<br />

Now, Marshall said, the deans<br />

are working to create a new model<br />

by which the divisions can benefit<br />

from each other. Marshall is<br />

chiefly interested in tapping into<br />

other divisions’ strengths in business<br />

management and social sciences.<br />

Deborah Kirschner, a spokeswoman<br />

for the university, declined<br />

to provide Inprint with<br />

any revenue figures for the various<br />

divisions, saying it was “not<br />

public information.” Nancy Steir,<br />

Vice President of Budget and<br />

Planning, also would not discuss<br />

details of the budget, saying the<br />

redesign of the budget is still under<br />

discussion. Veitch, however,<br />

said the school is now moving<br />

toward what is called Full Time<br />

equivalent, or F.T.e., where bud-<br />

groundwork for a<br />

unified university.<br />

get revenues are determined proportionally.<br />

That way, divisions<br />

like the NSSR would get revenue<br />

for Lang students who take NSSR<br />

courses.<br />

On the academic side, Lee and<br />

the deans are discussing ways in<br />

which the new programs ought to<br />

be implemented. “Do you create<br />

one department across the university?<br />

Do you just allow a kind of<br />

cross-registration that we never<br />

allowed?” Schober, Dean of<br />

NSSR, asked. “<strong>The</strong>re’s got to be<br />

some administrative structure.”<br />

Some of the thorniest questions<br />

may be logistical ones. “It<br />

is almost mind boggling to try to<br />

schedule things,” said Schober,<br />

who was chair of the psychology<br />

department at NSSR for five years<br />

before becoming dean this fall. In<br />

the psychology department last<br />

year, he said, one professor’s day<br />

began at 9 a.m. and ended at 10<br />

p.m., and she had just had a baby.<br />

“Given the current structure, we<br />

““ Lee is laying the<br />

break, Amos ‘N’ Andy, and bad<br />

acid trips.”<br />

Towards the end of the evening,<br />

Groening explained how he came<br />

up with the idea for his most famous<br />

creation. “I was sitting in<br />

the Fox waiting room ready to<br />

pitch my Life in Hell show and I<br />

realized if it became successful,<br />

I’d lose control,” he said. “So I<br />

invented the Simpsons right on<br />

Matt Groening with his son in a simulated Simpsons home.<br />

need new tools for visualizing and<br />

thinking about this that we don’t<br />

already have,” Schober said.<br />

If the university begins by developing<br />

programs, “in which we<br />

have existing strength, but no one<br />

school that feels they have total<br />

ownership of it,” Schober said,<br />

“then we can think through what<br />

we can do in a more coordinated<br />

way across the university.”<br />

In the past, Schober and Parsons<br />

professor Sven Travis cotaught<br />

for three years a course<br />

that merged the study of psychology<br />

and computer-based design.<br />

Howard Steele is working with<br />

Travis on a course this semseter<br />

related to emotions.<br />

In one past project, Schober<br />

said, a student worked on palmpilot<br />

and cell phone interfaces<br />

for studying cognitive behavioral<br />

therapy.<br />

Parsons is also developing a<br />

program in sustainability and environmental<br />

studies. Joel Towers,<br />

an architect who was once the director<br />

of the Sustainable Design<br />

and Urban ecology program at<br />

Parsons, is now an associate provost<br />

and the head of the Tishman<br />

environmental Design Center, a<br />

program for faculty and students<br />

that focuses on environmental issues<br />

and oversees the university’s<br />

environmental studies programs.<br />

“It’s critical for a school like<br />

Parsons to have sustainability and<br />

environmental issues in the future,”<br />

Marshall said. <strong>The</strong> design<br />

center is, “an early gesture in that<br />

direction.”<br />

Administrators say they would<br />

like to create an open discussion<br />

between faculty and students<br />

about future programs. At<br />

the same time, Schober says that<br />

managing a public dialogue at a<br />

place like <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> can<br />

be a tricky balancing act. “It can<br />

either be too constricted,” he said,<br />

“or completely chaotic.”<br />

the spot and thought, if it became<br />

a hit, I wouldn’t mind losing control.<br />

I named them after my family.”<br />

Maggie Groening, Matt’s sister,<br />

was in the audience. Inprint asked<br />

her if her name ever sparks recognition.<br />

“Sales clerks will sometimes<br />

notice it and ask me about<br />

it,” she said.<br />

What’s the<br />

Haps?<br />

By Liza Minno<br />

Spit? So does Lang’s feminist<br />

group, Moxie. Come October<br />

17th, when they host Freestyling<br />

Ciphers at the Student Activities<br />

Space at 55 W. 11th St., from<br />

6:30 to 8:00 p.m., and see if they<br />

can live up to their saucy name in<br />

verbal freestyling form. Contact<br />

moxie@newschool.edu for more<br />

information.<br />

Remember that scene in Swordfish<br />

when Hugh Jackman is at<br />

a computer trying to hack into<br />

some super secure banking system<br />

while someone has a gun to<br />

his head and Halle Berry is under<br />

the desk not having sexual relations<br />

with him? Well, the 2006<br />

Cut & paste digital design<br />

tournament won’t be like that at<br />

all. But there will be people sitting<br />

at computers and a fair amount<br />

of pressure to work quickly. On<br />

October 21st, at Brooklyn Sugar<br />

in Williamsburg, designers will<br />

test their skills in front a crowd<br />

of riled up aesthetes and judges.<br />

Check out www.cutandpaste.cc<br />

for details or to register.<br />

Maureen Dowd once said that<br />

students at <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> are<br />

so liberal that they make NYU<br />

look like Liberty University. On<br />

a similar note, I would argue that<br />

Amherst, Massachusetts, makes<br />

<strong>New</strong> York City look like Puritan<br />

Boston. Lee Badget from UMass<br />

Amherst and Gary Gates of the<br />

Williams Institute will speak on<br />

October 25th at “same-sex<br />

Couples: How Many partner<br />

or Marry and Why?” <strong>The</strong> event<br />

was arranged by Professor Alec<br />

Ian Gershber of Milano. Bring<br />

your family values and check it<br />

out—12:10 p.m. at Henry Cohen<br />

Conference Room, 72 Fifth Avenue,<br />

3rd floor.<br />

Boo! If you’re looking for a little<br />

more to put you in a pre-Halloween<br />

mood, go to the Anthology<br />

Film Archive (32 2nd Ave. at<br />

2nd St.) for their “extra Special<br />

Halloween Short Film Marathon”<br />

on October 25th at 7 p.m. <strong>The</strong>y<br />

have seven films by seven new<br />

filmmakers who promise to deliver<br />

that extra-special Halloween<br />

excitement… you know, rotting<br />

teeth, broken curfews, revving<br />

chainsaws and all that.<br />

Associated Press


Around the Courtyard<br />

<strong>New</strong>s & Features<br />

A Security Guard with a Political History<br />

By Ben Kelly<br />

When Gurney Ackman goes to<br />

work as a security guard in the<br />

<strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> dorms, he always<br />

brings a copy of the <strong>New</strong> York<br />

Post.<br />

“I have to have some distraction,”<br />

he says. “Otherwise, I start<br />

thinking about all the memories,<br />

the things that have happened to<br />

me.”<br />

One recent weekday, Ackman, a<br />

Guayanan of medium height and<br />

slim build with a vaguely British<br />

accent, sat behind the security<br />

desk in the 13th Street dorm,<br />

recounting episode after episode<br />

of his fantastic life while hordes<br />

of oblivious, faux-hawked firstyears<br />

walked by.<br />

Ackman was born 59 years ago<br />

in Guyana, then a British colony<br />

and now a small country on the<br />

Northeast coast of South America.<br />

Since then, he’s been a political<br />

dissident, a soldier that saw action<br />

in Vietnam, a high school security<br />

officer that worked closely<br />

with gangs, a husband (twice) and<br />

a father of three.<br />

Ackman grew up during a time<br />

of great political change. Guyana<br />

had been a British possession<br />

since 1831 and Guyanese citizens<br />

had limited governmental representation.<br />

In 1955, however, the<br />

country’s one party, the People’s<br />

Progressive Party (PPP), split<br />

into PPP and the People’s National<br />

Congress (PNC). <strong>The</strong> split<br />

was ideological, Ackman says,<br />

but because PPP’s leader, Cheddi<br />

Jagan, espoused Marxist-Leninist<br />

beliefs, the CIA, under John<br />

F. Kennedy, became involved<br />

in Guyanese politics. CIA op-<br />

eratives, disguised as trade union<br />

leaders, shifted the dispute from<br />

an ideological to a racial one:<br />

PNC became a party of mostly<br />

Afro-Guyanese, while the majority<br />

of PPP’s supporters were<br />

Indo-Guyanese.<br />

Ackman joined PPP in 1962,<br />

drawn by Jagan, the party’s charismatic<br />

leader.<br />

“In every way that you could<br />

think, he was what you would call<br />

an advocate of the poor people,<br />

the working class people,” Ackman<br />

recalls. “He fully believed in<br />

democracy. He was someone you<br />

could follow.”<br />

Ackman began attending campaign<br />

meetings, educational sessions<br />

and demonstrations in the<br />

party’s youth wing. But his in-<br />

volvement with the party was<br />

complicated by two factors: his<br />

mother, Margaret Ackman, was a<br />

prominent PNC congresswoman;<br />

and though PPP was a primarily<br />

Indo-Guyanese party, Ackman is<br />

black.<br />

Ackman says his mother wasn’t<br />

bothered by his party affiliations,<br />

but “her friends were.” Nevertheless,<br />

they avoided debates because<br />

they were home at different times<br />

and rarely saw each other.<br />

In the mid-1960s, as tension<br />

between PNC and PPP intensified,<br />

Ackman found himself more<br />

vulnerable to violence. In Afro-<br />

Interview by Liza Minno<br />

Photographs by Matthew Mann<br />

How do you feel about the Yankees elimination from the World Series?<br />

Ernesto Mercado Julia Schweizer Allen Strouse<br />

“I’m actually surprised that it affects<br />

other people so much—it’s<br />

like the Mayans and the spiritual<br />

games that were such a big part<br />

of their culture.”<br />

“I’ve been to two Yankees games<br />

and the beers are too expensive<br />

and you can’t smoke in the stadium,<br />

so I say fuck the Yankees.”<br />

“I couldn’t be happier. I don’t<br />

like to watch baseball except for<br />

to see the Yankees lose.”<br />

Guyanese neighborhoods, he<br />

says, “people would start picking<br />

up bottles, eggs, to throw—and<br />

you’d have to get out of there.”<br />

Ackman was never hurt badly<br />

enough to be hospitalized, but<br />

“only because I could run.”<br />

<strong>The</strong> violence and danger escalated<br />

until, at the age of 20, Ackman<br />

decided to emigrate from<br />

Guyana to the United States.<br />

“My mother and all my relatives<br />

told me, ‘You have to get out of<br />

the country,’” Ackman remembers.<br />

Ackman moved to the United<br />

States during one of its most tumultuous<br />

eras—the Vietnam conflict.<br />

He registered for the draft<br />

and in November of 1968, a year<br />

after he arrived in the States, he<br />

was called up. For eleven months<br />

he served in the Infantry’s 101st<br />

division, 11 Bravo Company.<br />

Ackman’s memories of that time<br />

are grim.<br />

“Sometimes I try to describe it,<br />

but there are no words,” he says,<br />

“Just ‘survive.’ Will I survive after<br />

seeing so many guys blown<br />

up? It was something I never<br />

thought I’d experience.”<br />

Ackman moved back to Guyana<br />

in 1992, then back to the States<br />

in 2001. Today, he says this job<br />

at <strong>The</strong> <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> is, “pretty<br />

much a piece of cake,” except<br />

for the fact that, “one man has to<br />

control the whole world: check<br />

IDs, answer phones, answer questions…”<br />

“But mostly, from my observation,<br />

<strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> students<br />

are nice,” he continues. “I’d say<br />

ninety percent of them are coop-<br />

Russia’s Copyrighting Woes<br />

By Justin Lane Briggs<br />

Like most music consumers,<br />

the average <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong> student<br />

has probably wrestled with the<br />

ethics of downloading music<br />

for free. But as long as you’re<br />

buying mp3s from a well-publicized,<br />

“Secure Transaction” type<br />

of website, with links to Billboard<br />

and BBC music sites on its<br />

homepage, you’re playing by the<br />

rules, right?<br />

Not according to critics of<br />

Allofmp3.com, a Russian music<br />

downloading website that offers<br />

entire albums for as little as $1.50<br />

– and as a result has recently begun<br />

to lure customers away from<br />

Apple’s iTunes Music Store. That<br />

success has landed the site in the<br />

center of a major international<br />

trade dispute that U.S. officials<br />

say may threaten Russia’s bid to<br />

enter the World Trade Organization.<br />

How can Allofmp3.com offer<br />

music so<br />

cheaply? According<br />

to the<br />

International<br />

Federation of<br />

the Phonographic Industry (IFPI),<br />

a group representing recording interests<br />

for labels like eMI, Sony,<br />

Universal and Warner Bros., the<br />

problem is loopholes in Russian<br />

law that allow public downloading<br />

of music so long as companies<br />

pay specific government agencies<br />

instead of the actual copyright<br />

holder.<br />

After two years of legal battles,<br />

the U.S. Trade Representative issued<br />

Allofmp3.com a deadline<br />

of September 1, 2006, to change<br />

its business practices and comply<br />

with new Russian copyright legislation.<br />

But weeks after the deadline,<br />

no real changes have taken<br />

place. Users around the world can<br />

still download music from the<br />

website’s library at remarkably<br />

low prices.<br />

Representatives of Allofmp3.<br />

com insist that payments do in<br />

fact go to the music’s copyright<br />

holders.<br />

“Allofmp3.com does regularly<br />

transfer substantial amounts of<br />

royalties to the Russian organizations<br />

for collective management<br />

of rights,” the site’s administra-<br />

Annie Dillard, Acclaimed Memoirist and Poet, Reads at Lang<br />

By Linh Tran<br />

On the night of October 4th,<br />

Neil Gordon, Chair of the Lang<br />

Writing Department, stepped up<br />

to the podium in Wollman Hall<br />

to introduce Pulitzer Prize-winning<br />

author Annie Dillard—or<br />

so the audience thought. Instead,<br />

Gordon introduced Cody Rose<br />

Clevidence, a senior writing-concentrator<br />

at Lang.<br />

Clevidence told an intentionally<br />

vague story about having dinner<br />

with Dillard the previous night.<br />

<strong>The</strong>n she added, “Neil Gordon is<br />

going to kill me for making this<br />

personal, or worse, sentimental,<br />

but I’d like to introduce my<br />

mom.”<br />

Dillard, a tall woman of 61<br />

years from Pittsburgh, is a prominent<br />

poet, memoirist and novelist<br />

whose work deals with nature,<br />

theology and the human condi-<br />

A political dissi-<br />

dent, a Vietnam solider,<br />

a <strong>New</strong> <strong>School</strong><br />

security guard<br />

““<br />

tion. <strong>The</strong> capacity crowd, which<br />

appeared to be comprised mostly<br />

of writing students and professors,<br />

was responsive to her relaxed<br />

manner. “Did you all get to<br />

eat?” she asked at one point. “Are<br />

you doing this instead of eating?<br />

That’s rough.”<br />

Slightly stooped over, wearing<br />

a red sweater and reading glasses,<br />

Dillard began with a short poem,<br />

“<strong>The</strong> Sign of Your Father.” Pacing<br />

in front of the audience, she<br />

paused after every few words to<br />

indicate her use of parentheses,<br />

drawing laughs.<br />

She followed the poem with a<br />

short story, “Living Like Weasels,”<br />

which compares a weasel’s<br />

way of life in the wild to human<br />

behavior.<br />

“I wouldn’t write this as strongly<br />

today,” Dillard said, by way of<br />

introduction. “I was<br />

young then, and much<br />

more resolute.”<br />

Dillard won the Pulitzer<br />

for nonfiction in<br />

1975, when she was<br />

just 29, for Pilgrim<br />

at Tinker Creek, a<br />

Walden-like account<br />

of a year spent living<br />

close to nature in<br />

rural Virginia. <strong>The</strong><br />

book’s two sequels,<br />

Holy Firm and For<br />

the Time Being, also<br />

addressed the connection<br />

between ecology<br />

and theology. Other<br />

noteworthy efforts include<br />

a memoir about<br />

her parents, entitled<br />

An American Child-<br />

CONTINUeD ON PAGe 6<br />

5<br />

tors said in a press statement last<br />

month.<br />

But the music industry tells a<br />

different story. “<strong>The</strong> website is effectively<br />

stealing from those who<br />

create the music,” read a press<br />

release from the IFPI. “Allofmp3.<br />

com is not what it seems.”<br />

Allofmp3.com’s Web site is<br />

glossy and simple, has Russian<br />

and english interfaces and links<br />

to international Billboard charts,<br />

but making payments is complicated.<br />

A user usually has to use<br />

a separate website, dubbed all-<br />

Tunes.com, to purchase credit.<br />

Yet, Allofmp3.com’s Mp3s are<br />

higher quality than iTunes’ AAC<br />

files, and can be shared and copied<br />

at will once they’ve been downloaded—unlike<br />

iTunes files.<br />

Thus far, only about 300,000 of<br />

Allofmp3.com’s downloads have<br />

gone to the U.S. market. In england,<br />

however, Allofmp3.com is<br />

more popular<br />

than<br />

Napster.<br />

allofmp3.com<br />

<strong>The</strong> Web<br />

site has<br />

faced many court cases, to little<br />

effect, because the site claims it<br />

does not have international patrons.<br />

“What we’re doing may<br />

not be 100% up to Western business<br />

ethics,” said Ilya Levitov, a<br />

spokesman for Allofmp3.com’s<br />

parent company, MediaServices.<br />

“But no one has ever proven that<br />

we are operating illegally.”<br />

<strong>The</strong> most serious flack comes<br />

from the U.S. government. Recently,<br />

a congressional caucus advised<br />

against admitting Russia to<br />

the WTO until they had improved<br />

intellectual property rights, referring<br />

specifically to Allofmp3.com<br />

as an example of Moscow’s unwillingness<br />

to abide by changes<br />

in its newly adopted intellectual<br />

property law. Russia cannot join<br />

the global trade group without the<br />

backing of all existing members,<br />

including the United States. Right<br />

now, the U.S. plan seems to be to<br />

hope that Russia will back down<br />

and begin to enforce its copyright<br />

laws, shutting down Allofmp3.<br />

com for good. Until then, the<br />

website will stay open for business.<br />

Kaitlin McQuaide


6 entertainment<br />

If You’re Underground, You Already Know<br />

Two revelers gear up for Rubulad.<br />

By Insane Viola Jam<br />

<strong>The</strong> average person living in<br />

<strong>New</strong> York usually needs to come<br />

to terms with the fact that they are<br />

constantly missing out on some<br />

big, fabulous event. But on Friday,<br />

October 6th, the big fabulous<br />

event was for average people<br />

only. Most probably missed out,<br />

anyway.<br />

<strong>The</strong> party was the ever-elusive,<br />

carnival-esque Rubulad, staged<br />

every three weeks, with intermittent<br />

venue changes, for twelve<br />

years. Known for its participants’<br />

often-illegal antics, it shies away<br />

from media coverage. It’s been<br />

listed in L Magazine, for instance,<br />

but without an address, so as to<br />

preserve its underground vibe.<br />

Two weeks ago, I broke the surface<br />

of secrecy for the first time,<br />

in an endeavor to understand this<br />

mysterious event. As I walked in,<br />

Monica Uszerowicz<br />

I was overwhelmed with art and<br />

glitter. <strong>The</strong> theme was “Homecoming,”<br />

and there was a “make<br />

your own crown” table. Men<br />

were queens—except for some of<br />

the older ones, who were naked.<br />

“I feel like I just took acid, but<br />

I didn’t,” one first-timer said. She<br />

stood inside an igloo on one of<br />

the building’s floors. Outside the<br />

igloo, there was an explosion of<br />

Christmas lights, an absinthe<br />

bar, a special brownie stand, and<br />

many, many, intoxicated people.<br />

On the roof, which was accessible<br />

by means of a rickety metal<br />

ladder, a man named Gary ran<br />

projections of French musicals<br />

from the 1960s. Asked to share<br />

some stories of Rubulad’s past,<br />

he gave a vague response: “Sex,<br />

drugs, and rock and roll.” Judging<br />

from the action in the igloo<br />

Waiting for Ferrell at the Daily Show<br />

Chilling Out With Jon Stewart<br />

By Almie Rose Vazanno<br />

Jon Stewart is a short man.<br />

But out of shortness often comes<br />

greatness. Napoleon. Michael J.<br />

Fox. R2D2. It should have come<br />

as no surprise to me when I went<br />

to a Daily Show taping and saw<br />

just how funny and quick-thinking<br />

Stewart really is.<br />

Before the show began, he informed<br />

us, his adoring studio<br />

audience, that we were in for a<br />

treat. After the show, Stewart was<br />

planning to tape a segment with<br />

Will Ferrell live via satellite (Ferrell<br />

was in LA) for a sketch for a<br />

Comedy Central special Stewart<br />

was hosting, “Night of Too Many<br />

Stars: An Overbooked Benefit for<br />

Autism education.”<br />

<strong>The</strong> show ended, we applauded.<br />

Stewart checked with pages for<br />

the Mets game scores. <strong>The</strong>n we<br />

waited for Ferrell’s charming face<br />

to appear on the monitors. And<br />

we waited. And waited.<br />

Finally a producer informed us<br />

that Ferrell was still in the makeup<br />

chair. Apparently, he needed<br />

quite a lot of make-up for this<br />

segment. Stewart promised we<br />

would love it, and that it would<br />

be worth the wait.<br />

So we waited. A DJ who played<br />

loud 80s music while we waited.<br />

<strong>The</strong>n he stopped, because Ferrell<br />

was ready. Or so we thought. Ferrell,<br />

in fact, was still not ready.<br />

Stewart apologized,<br />

telling us that<br />

we could leave if we<br />

had plans. “I’m sure<br />

some of you have<br />

tickets to Mama<br />

Mia,” he said. A P.A.<br />

tapped him on the<br />

shoulder and gave him a baseball<br />

update. It was good news<br />

for Stewart. He pumped his fist<br />

in the air. His team had won. We<br />

cheered. A man from back-stage,<br />

obviously a friend of Stewart’s,<br />

crossed the set and him gave him<br />

a huge hug.<br />

He again apologized for making<br />

us wait, and asked us if we had<br />

any more questions we wanted<br />

to ask (Stewart does a brief Q&A<br />

before every show to warm-up<br />

the audience.) “I could have loud<br />

music playing while I sit here<br />

and have you guys stare at me,”<br />

he explained. “But that would be<br />

awkward. Do you guys just mind<br />

hanging out?”<br />

Did we mind hanging out with<br />

Jon Stewart? Was he kidding?<br />

<strong>The</strong> studio was suddenly transformed<br />

into a comfortable living<br />

room, and the audience into his<br />

friends. It actually felt as though<br />

we were all just hanging out.<br />

“Anyone doing anything fun<br />

tonight?” he asked. A few of us<br />

shouted, “Lost!” It was the night<br />

and on the roof, things haven’t<br />

changed much.<br />

Carlos, a Brooklyn hipster,<br />

described the scene as “a cluster-fuck<br />

of weird people.” That<br />

certainly applied to Fitz and Joey,<br />

two students in the throes of acid<br />

trips, who talked about being<br />

stripped and handcuffed.<br />

Vinnie, wearing an old Italian<br />

motorcycle jacket, requested<br />

Black Sabbath from the man behind<br />

the jukebox. Carl, in a room<br />

labeled “Photo Booth,” wore a<br />

poofy pink dress and snapped<br />

pictures. A raver, with neon hulahoop<br />

in tow, wowed the crowds<br />

during an M.I.A. song. everybody<br />

loved it—and at Rubulad,<br />

unlike most <strong>New</strong> York parties,<br />

nobody was afraid to show it.<br />

Among the four floors, the music<br />

ranged from Metallica to salsa.<br />

People shifted on and off the<br />

dance floor. Some, craving stimulation,<br />

traveled upstairs to hear a<br />

live band. Others went to the rooftop<br />

grill to ease their munchies.<br />

Insane Viola Jam is an under<br />

cover Inprint correspondent who<br />

writes about youth culture.<br />

Monica Uszerowicz<br />

Under the sea?<br />

No, a scene from Rubulad.<br />

Almie Rose Vazzano<br />

Will Ferrell and Jon Stewart<br />

of the season premiere of the surreal<br />

drama, set on a deserted tropical<br />

island. “I said fun,” he teased.<br />

We asked him why he was not a<br />

fan. “I don’t need to watch James<br />

Joyce on television,” he said.<br />

Shows that he does like? “Project<br />

Runway.”<br />

“It’s my first night in town,<br />

where should I go tonight?” one<br />

woman asked. Stewart, his writers,<br />

producers and even the DJ<br />

suggested a myriad of different<br />

restaurants. Another person asked<br />

if the man who hugged Stewart<br />

earlier was Robert Smigel. It<br />

was. And another person asked<br />

the question in the back of all of<br />

our minds. “How much make-up<br />

does Will Ferrell need?” Stewart<br />

laughed.<br />

Finally, Ferrell was ready. He<br />

appeared on the screen dressed<br />

as Robert Goulet. Stewart, in his<br />

signature deadpan, explained:<br />

“That’s why it took so long; he<br />

needed to put on sunglasses.” He<br />

asked Ferrell if he was ready.<br />

“Let’s nail this bitch,” Ferrell<br />

grumbled in his Goulet voice.<br />

Annie Dillard Reads at Lang<br />

CONTINUeD FROM PAGe 5<br />

hood, and a collection of “found”<br />

poetry called Mornings Like<br />

This.<br />

<strong>The</strong> last reading of the night<br />

was an excerpt from For the Time<br />

Being, a poetic exploration of human<br />

compassion and cruelty, and<br />

whether such is the work of God.<br />

She was reluctant to begin—“A<br />

little bit of a story doesn’t do<br />

any good, but what the hell,” she<br />

said—but proceeded with a vivid<br />

account of an archeological dig in<br />

China that unearthed ancient statues<br />

of an army of soldiers.<br />

At the end of the reading, Dillard<br />

addressed students’ questions—“Have<br />

at me,” she said.<br />

One woman asked Dillard why<br />

she had described her forthcoming<br />

novel <strong>The</strong> Maytrees, about a<br />

Mew2, the Interview<br />

By Almie Rose Vazzano<br />

<strong>The</strong> first rule of any interview<br />

is to make sure your tape recorder<br />

works.<br />

I check it in the cab on the way<br />

to Webster Hall, where I have<br />

an appointment to interview Bo<br />

Madsen, lead guitarist of Danish<br />

“space pop” band Mew. It seems<br />

to be in perfect shape.<br />

But when I sit down to begin the<br />

interview, the tape recorder takes<br />

on a mind of its own and stubbornly<br />

refuses to work.<br />

As I fumble with the device,<br />

like a kindergartner learning how<br />

to write, Bo asks if he could have<br />

a look at it. “I know what it is<br />

like when one of these little guys<br />

dies,” he says, mournfully, taking<br />

apart the tape recorder to fix<br />

it. “This guy looks like he’s been<br />

with you for a long time.”<br />

Madsen, tan, with a mustache<br />

and a smile that would make<br />

James Bond-era Sean Connery<br />

envious, is inviting and relaxed.<br />

He removes the batteries from<br />

the dead recorder, just to make<br />

sure they’re in correctly, and I<br />

point out the Whitney sticker on<br />

his striped collared t-shirt and ask<br />

him if he enjoyed the museum.<br />

He glances down, perhaps realizing<br />

for the first time that he’s still<br />

wearing it, and peels it off. “Modern<br />

art is not my personal favorite,”<br />

he responds. “<strong>The</strong> Hopper<br />

exhibit is more to my liking, it’s<br />

more in tune with european traditions,<br />

very melancholy.”<br />

Mew is no stranger to melancholy.<br />

Madsen describes their<br />

latest album, ...and the Glass<br />

Handed Kites, as “darker and bigger”<br />

than their previous record,<br />

Frengers. “We wanted to challenge<br />

ourselves,” he says. “At the<br />

time we were living close together<br />

in a house in London. We were<br />

loving and hating each other.”<br />

What can we expect from their<br />

next album? “More swing. Last<br />

time we wanted to do more of an<br />

idea-based album but this time<br />

we want to be maybe more open,<br />

positive. It’s going to be good.”<br />

What is Mew’s collaboration<br />

process like? “We write together,<br />

group oriented. Someone comes<br />

up with one part, two parts, it mutates,<br />

forms. We record music in<br />

rehearsal space to catch off-mo-<br />

family living in Provincetown in<br />

the 1940s and 50s, as “the best<br />

book I’ve ever written.”<br />

“When I was younger I would<br />

have been showing off,” Dillard<br />

replied. “Now I just want to tell<br />

a story.”<br />

Later, when another audience<br />

member asked Dillard to compare<br />

her current self to her younger<br />

self, she offered an analogous response.<br />

“Now I go to readings to<br />

be moved,” Dillard said. “When I<br />

was younger, I wanted to be impressed.”<br />

Dillard ended the event with one<br />

final tidbit of advice for the many<br />

aspiring writers in the room: “Go<br />

to the library,” she said, “because<br />

you know life, you live life. What<br />

you need to know is literature.”<br />

ments that can be great. <strong>The</strong>re’s<br />

not a lot of crying,” he says, grinning,<br />

“but a little bit.”<br />

AOL Music described the band<br />

as “space pop innovators.” Does<br />

Bo agree? He shrugs. “We’re the<br />

only indie stadium band in the<br />

world.” He pauses. At this point,<br />

he has abandoned the tape recorder<br />

and taken up with a stray tennis<br />

ball, spinning it around the table.<br />

“I don’t care for anything else but<br />

pop music.”<br />

Mew’s videos often present bizarre,<br />

downbeat scenes. Where<br />

does the inspiration come from?<br />

“Dream scenarios and David<br />

Lynch. David Lynch is a God in<br />

europe.”<br />

Surely a band that models their<br />

style after David Lynch must<br />

have a few strange stories. I ask<br />

him about the strangest thing<br />

that’s ever happened on tour. He<br />

pauses to think. He’s silent, his<br />

chin rested on his closed hand.<br />

“Wait…wait,” he says, “I’m really<br />

digging deep down.” He<br />

laughs. “Let me get back to you<br />

on that one.”<br />

Who are his influences? “Prince.<br />

80s music is genius. It’s the golden<br />

age of pop. It’s like relationships.<br />

You fall in love, you listen<br />

to every album, you get to know<br />

them, but it’s rare to fall in love.”<br />

What’s the one thing we need<br />

to know about Mew? “We’re not<br />

like any other band. That’s it.”<br />

Back to the strange tour stories.<br />

He pauses, shaking his black<br />

Conversed foot. Finally, he looks<br />

up, ready with his answer. “I’m<br />

not going to tell,” he says mischievously.<br />

Bo Madsen of Mew<br />

Sony Records


Your Guide to the Best (and Blurst)<br />

in Today’s Fine Art<br />

<strong>The</strong> Bridge, Dir. eric Steel, Opens Oct. 27th<br />

By Almie Rose Vazzano<br />

eric Steel’s documentary, <strong>The</strong><br />

Bridge, opens with beautiful wideangle<br />

shots of the Golden Gate<br />

Bridge that almost look computer-generated.<br />

<strong>The</strong> sun is out, there<br />

is a light breeze, and the bridge is<br />

crowded with people. <strong>The</strong> camera<br />

zooms in, and we see a man talking<br />

on his cell phone. He laughs,<br />

hangs up, climbs over the railing,<br />

and jumps to his death. <strong>The</strong> camera<br />

follows him all 225 feet down<br />

into the water. <strong>The</strong> splash is surprisingly<br />

quiet.<br />

In 2004, twenty-four people<br />

committed suicide on the Golden<br />

Gate Bridge. This film shows the<br />

deaths of at least three of them in<br />

close-up, a few others from a distance,<br />

and a few failed attempts.<br />

To make the film, Steel set up<br />

cameras in two key locations.<br />

One camera captured wide-angle<br />

shots and the other had a strong<br />

telephoto lens for closer shots. He<br />

left the cameras running all day,<br />

changing the tapes once every<br />

hour, for one year.<br />

<strong>The</strong> Bridge is not just about<br />

shocking footage. In interviews<br />

with family and friends of the deceased,<br />

Steel explores the forces<br />

that bring people to such dramatic<br />

deaths at this historic monument.<br />

He also speaks with witnesses,<br />

Film<br />

Driving Lessons, dir. Jeremy<br />

Brock, starring: Laura Linney,<br />

rupert Grint, rated-pG-13,<br />

Opens Oct. 13<br />

Do you enjoy preachy and predictable<br />

stories about stereotypically<br />

repressed teenagers? <strong>The</strong>n<br />

go see Driving Lessons, Jeremy<br />

Block’s new car wreck starring<br />

Rupert Grint, that red-haired<br />

doofy kid from the Harry Potter<br />

movies, as 17-year-old Ben.<br />

Let’s count the clichés: overbearing<br />

Christian mother, an outof-his-league-style<br />

teenage crush,<br />

and an uplifting coming-of-age<br />

journey. Yup, this film’s got it<br />

all—except for a meaningful plot<br />

and original script. Pretty much<br />

the only thing that redeems Driving<br />

Lessons is Ben’s Harold and<br />

Maude-esque (albeit a-sexual)<br />

relationship with the 65-year-old,<br />

out-of-work actress evie (Julie<br />

Walters).<br />

Truly devoted to theatrics, evie<br />

coerces Ben into accompanying<br />

her to the edinburgh <strong>The</strong>ater Festival.<br />

<strong>The</strong>re, even teenage Ben’s<br />

awkward deflowering, set to blaring<br />

Scottish samba music, falls<br />

flat.<br />

Rating: 2 surly driving instructors.<br />

- Julia Schweizer<br />

Sony Pictures Classics<br />

CORReCTION: Copying<br />

Beethoven, reviewed last issue,<br />

has been pushed back to<br />

November 10.<br />

including the Figueroa family,<br />

who, while on vacation with their<br />

children, watch a woman smile at<br />

them before leaping to her watery<br />

death.<br />

<strong>The</strong> premise of <strong>The</strong> Bridge is<br />

fascinating enough, but whether<br />

the film can hold the audience’s<br />

interest is another question. <strong>The</strong><br />

beginning and end are captivating,<br />

but the middle is drawn out.<br />

every family, it seems, has the<br />

same story to tell about the those<br />

they lost: the deceased were mentally<br />

unwell and spoke openly of<br />

suicide.<br />

<strong>The</strong> most interesting scenes in<br />

the film are of the jumpers—not<br />

necessarily as they are committing<br />

the act, but as they contemplate<br />

it. <strong>The</strong>y walk back and<br />

forth, they pause, some talk on<br />

cell phones, others stare out into<br />

nothing. Witnesses often remain<br />

motionless, perhaps pretending<br />

that they do not see what is unfolding<br />

before their eyes. This is<br />

the most depressing aspect of the<br />

entire film.<br />

To watch these people actually<br />

die is both sobering and surreal.<br />

<strong>The</strong> last scene in the film is one<br />

that, like the postcard image of<br />

the bridge itself, will be permanently<br />

stamped into memory.<br />

Rating: Timothy Treadwell’s hat<br />

Conventioneers, dir. Mora<br />

stephens, Opens Oct. 20<br />

<strong>The</strong> only interesting thing about<br />

this movie is the fact that it exists.<br />

<strong>The</strong> documentary/drama was<br />

made during the 2004 Republic<br />

National Convention in <strong>New</strong> York<br />

City. <strong>The</strong> actors took part in the<br />

actual convention—some as protestors,<br />

some as attendees—and<br />

also tried to play out a modern<br />

day Romeo and Juliet, where the<br />

Capulets are Republicans and the<br />

Montagues are Democrats.<br />

It’s an interesting and original<br />

idea, trust me. I’m genre-bending’s<br />

biggest cheerleader. And the<br />

RNC?! Come on! If any subject<br />

deserves to be deconstructed in<br />

art, it is that human atrocity.<br />

But, unfortunately, the acting,<br />

writing and background music<br />

is intolerable. <strong>The</strong> acting is so<br />

forced and uncomfortable that you<br />

will actually feel embarrassed for<br />

the actors, but only after you get<br />

tired of making fun of them. <strong>The</strong><br />

dialogue serves only to stereotype<br />

communication patterns and<br />

oversimplify the idea of political<br />

obligation. And the music—have<br />

mercy.<br />

I would not suggest that anyone<br />

subject themselves to this debacle.<br />

However, the movie does<br />

have some good footage of the<br />

RNC and the protests that surrounded<br />

it. If you’re in a nostalgic<br />

kind of mood, go ahead and see it.<br />

Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.<br />

Rating: “Merely a two word review:<br />

shit sandwich.” - Spinal<br />

Tap - Liza Minno<br />

tV<br />

Heroes, dir. Greg Beeman &<br />

Allan Arkush, starring: Ali<br />

Larter, Milo Ventimiglia, Airtime-<br />

Mon. 9:30pm, nBC<br />

Reviews<br />

<strong>The</strong> Golden Gate Bridge, where 24 people committed suicide in 2004.<br />

<strong>The</strong>re’s something wonderfully<br />

amiss in the world. Instead of being<br />

slapped in the face with trash<br />

like Invasion or Point Pleasant,<br />

you can actually find TV shows<br />

worth watching on a Monday<br />

night. Heroes is one of them.<br />

Things start to get hairy for the<br />

unacquainted heroes—one a prophetic<br />

painter, the other a nimble<br />

time-jumper—in the second episode.<br />

Together, they discover a<br />

conspiracy to visit a nuclear holocaust<br />

upon <strong>New</strong> York City. <strong>The</strong><br />

painter tries to cut off his hands to<br />

prevent further prophecies, while<br />

the jumper openly accepts his<br />

newfound destiny.<br />

Heroes follows Lost’s example<br />

on a superficial level—it withholds<br />

plot development from the<br />

audience to generate intrigue. But<br />

what really hooks the viewer is<br />

the phenomenal ensemble cast.<br />

From Tokyo’s space/time bending<br />

(and aptly named) Hiro to<br />

nigh-invulnerable Texas cheerleader<br />

Claire, Heroes hosts a slew<br />

of characters who are more than<br />

ready to sustain viewer attention<br />

for 22 episodes.<br />

Sure enough, there are plenty<br />

of “omigod!” revelations as the<br />

series progresses. Just imagine<br />

an amalgamation of Lost and X-<br />

Men with fewer characters but<br />

more potential for development.<br />

excited yet?!<br />

Rating: 4 stylish tacos<br />

- John Zuarino<br />

dVd<br />

Vice Guide to Travel<br />

<strong>The</strong> VICE Guide to Travel DVD<br />

(based on VICE’s travel issue)<br />

covers short documentaries about<br />

seven places nobody wants to<br />

visit, other than the people that<br />

made it.<br />

Music<br />

Cinema Libre Studio<br />

Among the fixings: VICE cofounder<br />

Suroosh Alvi visits an<br />

illegal arms market in Pakistan,<br />

where people hand-make guns,<br />

and sell AK-47s for hundreds of<br />

dollars. Trace Crutchfield, a VICE<br />

correspondent, goes to Rio, where<br />

he gets shot at by the police and<br />

films a drug lord’s private party.<br />

And Boy Scouts in Beirut sing<br />

songs about the glory of death.<br />

It’s not vapid eye-candy—they<br />

are situations taken from a youth’s<br />

perspective, just slightly more absurd<br />

than <strong>The</strong> Darwin Awards.<br />

Rating: AEROBATIC!<br />

– Najva Soleimani<br />

Xiu Xiu, <strong>The</strong> Air Force<br />

Beneath Xiu Xiu’s angular guitar<br />

lines, skeletal drum-machine<br />

beats and splattering<br />

electronics<br />

on <strong>The</strong> Air Force,<br />

there lies a true<br />

diligence to pop<br />

songcraft.<br />

“<strong>The</strong> Pineapple Vs. <strong>The</strong> Watermelon,”<br />

about a loved one’s suicide,<br />

juxtaposes a gentle acoustic<br />

guitar and piano with songwriter<br />

Jamie Stewart’s anguished halftalks.<br />

As forlorn and pitiful as it<br />

sounds, it’s beautiful. But it’s not<br />

as infectious as “Boy Soprano,”<br />

an electro-clash ditty with a bouncy<br />

bass line, a skittering beat and<br />

fluttering flute accents. Or “Save<br />

Me Save Me,” engulfed in electronic<br />

squeaks, gongs and overdubs<br />

upon overdubs of Stewart’s<br />

melodic, enraptured call. This is<br />

pain at its most danceable. One<br />

wonders how long it’ll be before<br />

Xiu Xiu’s twisted language loses<br />

steam, but Stewart will always<br />

have a place in the darkest corners<br />

of the pop universe.<br />

7<br />

Nadia Chaudhury<br />

nbc.com<br />

(Above) <strong>The</strong> precocious and supernatural<br />

teens of the TV show Heroes.<br />

(Left) An actor from the film Conventioneers<br />

gets an phone call during a<br />

protest.<br />

Rating: Gary Karp’s approval<br />

-Peter Holslin<br />

Books<br />

<strong>The</strong> Mystery Guest. By Gregorie<br />

Bouillier. trans. By Lorin stein<br />

Who knew that a neurotic with<br />

a bottle of ’64 Margaux could<br />

discover the meaning of life at<br />

French photographer Sophie Calle’s<br />

birthday party? In Grégoire<br />

Bouillier’s new<br />

memoir, anything<br />

is possible.<br />

<strong>The</strong> story<br />

begins in late<br />

1990 on the<br />

day of philosopher<br />

Michel<br />

Leiris’s death. Bouillier receives<br />

a phone call from his ex-lover<br />

inviting him to attend Calle’s<br />

birthday party as that year’s mystery<br />

guest. Suddenly, Bouillier’s<br />

narrative leaps from Leiris to the<br />

space probe Ulysses to Bouillier’s<br />

current lover (who, as he recalls,<br />

“loved me despite my turtleneckundershirts”).<br />

Bouillier writes in a stream-ofconsciousness<br />

style that delves<br />

into every nuance of his life. He<br />

draws parallels between his ex<br />

and Mrs. Dalloway, putting his<br />

former relationship to rest and<br />

finally changing the bathroom<br />

light bulb. “What was the point<br />

of living,” Bouillier writes, “if we<br />

spent our lives fulfilling the desires<br />

of inanimate objects?”<br />

While taking forty pages to describe<br />

a ten-minute party might<br />

seem to make for some seriously<br />

daunting reading, every word<br />

Bouillier writes somehow flows<br />

cohesively. It’s magical.<br />

Rating: More stylish tacos<br />

– John Zuarino


8 Closing Time<br />

Neighborhood Profile: Governor’s Island<br />

By Magali Pijpers<br />

<strong>The</strong> U.S. Coast Guard used Governor’s Island as a base until it closed its facilities in 1997. In 2003, the Federal Government returned the island to <strong>New</strong> York State<br />

and City, under the Governor’s Island Preservation & education Corporation (GIPeC).<br />

Twenty-two acres are now devoted to the Governor’s Island National Monument. Visitors can tour the island’s National Historic Landmark District—which includes<br />

forts, the Historic Parade Grounds, mansions, and views—by taking a ferry from Manhattan. Meanwhile, intrepid Inprint staffers can break some rules and<br />

find the other Governor’s Island, full of fiberglass coyotes and abandoned elementary schools. <strong>The</strong> island is open only during the summer.<br />

A Flavaful Wrap-up of Flavor of Love<br />

By Nora Costello<br />

This week marks the end of another<br />

Flavtastic season of boobs,<br />

booty, and brawls on VH1’s Celebreality<br />

hit, Flavor of Love. For<br />

those of you who missed it, here’s<br />

a Flavolicious Whitman’s Sampler<br />

of all the nuts, cream, and<br />

nougat.<br />

After a sleepy start, Love regains<br />

some of last season’s heat when<br />

veteran “<strong>New</strong> York” (pre-Flav<br />

name Tiffany) returns and brings<br />

Krazy with her. <strong>New</strong> York wastes<br />

no time whipping the ladies into<br />

shape, criticizing everything from<br />

breast pertness to “white trash”<br />

hairlines. Ass cheeks ever so<br />

slightly protruding beneath the<br />

hem of her skirt, <strong>New</strong> York is the<br />

perfect picture of class and decorum,<br />

and the ladies are rightly<br />

intimidated when Flav invites her<br />

to stay. But <strong>New</strong> York only serves<br />

as fuel to an already roiling fire.<br />

Herewith is a sketch of each of<br />

the leading characters:<br />

Buckwild: An offensive but<br />

sweet white girl borne of an unfortunate<br />

identity crisis. “I’m so<br />

black my pussy tastes like menthol.”<br />

Ahem. enough said. Selfeliminated.<br />

Krazy: A doe-eyed hottie with<br />

packaging peanuts for brains.<br />

Willing do to whatever it takes<br />

(wink wink) to win over record<br />

produc...ahem...Flav’s heart.<br />

eliminated when Flav discovers<br />

her true motives.<br />

Bootz: <strong>The</strong> first to call out the<br />

“fake-ass hoes,” especially Krazy.<br />

Most likely to be remembered<br />

for her triple-e breasts, bikiniclad,<br />

captured in slow-mo in the<br />

pool. “I wanna slip through her<br />

molecules of wetness like an eel<br />

through the seaweed,” Flav muses<br />

wistfully. But alas, the lovers<br />

must part—Bootz was eliminated<br />

when she informed Flav of her<br />

celibacy.<br />

Deelishis: One of the more<br />

bootylicious candidates, but with<br />

unfortunate globules on her arms<br />

that are truly unsightly and just<br />

strange. She seems genuinely<br />

interested in Flav, and he seems<br />

genuinely unfazed by her mustache—although<br />

the dinner with<br />

her parents during which dad<br />

orders a “carton of pigeon milk”<br />

may hurt her chances. One of the<br />

final two.<br />

Buckeey: Crop-topped cutie<br />

with a penchant for having her ass<br />

grabbed. eliminated for almost<br />

killing Krazy by pushing her over<br />

a balcony.<br />

Ah yes, a lovely array of true<br />

class and culture…’twas a shame<br />

to watch it dwindle. But dwindle<br />

it must. One by one these gems<br />

must rejoin their charm school<br />

brethren. Whether it be Deelishis<br />

or <strong>New</strong> York, whoever finds herself<br />

writhing under the gold lamé<br />

blanket at the end of the night<br />

should consider herself a truly<br />

lucky gal.

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