red dwarf – season seven
red dwarf – season seven
red dwarf – season seven
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ed <strong>dwarf</strong> <strong>season</strong> <strong>seven</strong> part two small black beetles: the overkill<br />
LISTER: You don't know what we used to do back on Red<br />
Dwarf in the early days. Like when we played the<br />
Locker Room game, we used to open up the lockers of<br />
all the dead crew members, and we got to keep<br />
whatever we found.<br />
LISTER'S FLASHBACK. RED DWARF LOCKER-ROOM.<br />
RIMMER: I don't trust you, Lister... this game's rigged.<br />
Every time we play it, you win. Last time, you got a 30<br />
carat gold wristwatch, and all I got was one Wellington<br />
boot and a box of one hund<strong>red</strong> assorted tampons that<br />
glow in the dark. Right, I'll go first this time… No, you<br />
can go first...<br />
LISTER: Okay, I'll have sixty-eight.<br />
RIMMER: I'll have sixty-eight. Er… you can have it. I know<br />
that you chose that one because you think that I think<br />
that you're cheating; so I'll have it, and it'll be useless.<br />
I'm not gonna fall for that one, Listy. You can have it.<br />
LISTER: Too smart for me, man... hey, a gold necklace; a<br />
bundle of cash; and a nude wrestling video! "Baked<br />
bean bombshells Volume 12".<br />
RIMMER: Right! Well, I'll have that one. Number fifty-eight.<br />
RIMMER IS BLASTED BY A FLAME THAT BURSTS OUT OF THE OPENED DOOR.<br />
RIMMER: What the hell was that?<br />
LISTER: There's a note... "People who break into<br />
lockers deserve everything they get, you cheap doublecrossing<br />
slimeball". Sounds like they know you.<br />
STARBUG COCKPIT<br />
LISTER: About time, Cat, you're late. Now, where've<br />
you been? Rimmer..? What're you doing here?<br />
RIMMER: I got fed up with adventuring... you know what<br />
it's like: you save a couple of civilisations and it all gets<br />
a bit... samey. I thought I'd come and find the old team.<br />
LISTER: It's good to see you. Are you real?<br />
RIMMER: I'm as real as you can get, being a hologram.<br />
LISTER: So... where've you been?<br />
RIMMER: I fought in the Bellagosian War; I was decorated,<br />
and used as a Christmas tree in the town square where<br />
people came and fed me cherry liqueur chocolates for<br />
the whole winter. Nah, I'm only kidding. I just thought it<br />
was time I livened up a bit! So, how about you? How's<br />
it going?<br />
LISTER: Same old Starbug. Same old travelling through<br />
space.<br />
page 8
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