red dwarf – season seven

ed dwarf season seven part two small black beetles: the overkill
KOCHANSKI: That's him! See? That's three.
LISTER: He was a murderer. He killed Dr. Richard Kimbal's
wife.
KOCHANSKI: But that proves my point. If that guy can
murder a perfectly able-bodied woman, minus a
major extremity, then I don't think you've got anything
to worry about.
LISTER: Come on, let's face it guys: there aren't any
noteworthy one-armed people from history - you can't
even name five.
KOCHANSKI: Of course we can! Look: Horatio Nelson; the
one-armed guy from 'The Fugitive'; the Venus de Milo;
Van Gogh, and... one more...
CAT: That Mexican dude! The one who robbed people!
LISTER: What one who robbed people?
CAT: The one-armed bandit..!
LISTER: That's a machine, you gimp! One of the most
popular pub games of the twentieth century.
CAT: And it only had one arm? What a heart-warming
story...
KOCHANSKI: Dave Lister. There, that's five.
LISTER: I'm going to the loo. I don't actually need to go
now, but seeing as it takes me forty five minutes to
unbutton my fly, I should probably make a start...
KOCHANSKI: Do you need a hand..? Oh my god! I'm sorry, I
didn't mean that...
KRYTEN: Biscuit, sir? Another bik-bik?
KOCHANSKI: Kryten… What are you doing?
KRYTEN: I'm just dunking bikkies, ma'am. It's another of
life's joys, of which poor Mr Lister has been robbed.
Isn't that right, sir?
LISTER: Could you give my nose a tweak? I've got a bit
of an itch.
KOCHANSKI: Why can't you itch it yourself? You've still got
one arm.
KRYTEN: There. Is that better, sir?
LISTER: Yeah, a bit.
KOCHANSKI: Kryten, I told you before: he wants to be
independent. He doesn't need you running around
after him like he's some kind of invalid.
KRYTEN: But he does! Don't you, sir? Another slurp of
tea, sir?
KOCHANSKI: Oh, this is making me sick.
page 36