red dwarf – season seven

ed dwarf season seven part two small black beetles: the overkill
LISTER: Had a dream about him, but he was different. All
smiles and jokes and... stuff.
KOCHANSKI: I thought you guys didn't get on?
LISTER: We didn't, that's what's so weird! His tidiness
drove me crazy, the way he used to eat his food in
alphabetical order; the way he only ever used three
pieces of toilet paper: one up, one down, and one to
polish.
KOCHANSKI: Did he have any redeeming features?
LISTER: No. Oh yeah, sometimes he went out of the room.
KOCHANSKI: So, how come Rimmer came to be around,
anyway?
LISTER: Well, Holly brought him back to keep me sane,
but he drove me mad!
KOCHANSKI: So, now he's gone, maybe you feel guilty
because you realise he was trying to help you?
LISTER: If he was trying to help me, why didn't he... lighten
up a bit? Be happy?
KOCHANSKI: Maybe he sacrificed his happiness to keep you
sane? But when he appeared in your dream he was
different, a carefree, fun-loving Rimmer. A Rimmer
who didn't nag you into helping him catalogue his
cheese collection.
LISTER: You're saying I had him all wrong?
KOCHANSKI: Wasn't your fault... you had to hate him, it
was what kept you going.
LISTER: I didn't know... You know what I should do? I
should throw everything away, and make a new start.
KRYTEN: Sorry ma'am, this is the medical bay, for sick
people only; surely you haven't broken out in a
confusingly-filed pants rash?
KOCHANSKI: Kryten, do you know how to extract a warm
bottle of salad cream from a mechanoid's rectal cavity?
KRYTEN: Not off hand, ma'am, but I could research it?
KOCHANSKI: I'd start right now if I were you...
LISTER: It's all right, Kryten. I've talked things through
with Kochanski, I'm feeling a lot better.
KRYTEN: Well that really takes the biscuit, doesn't it.
Turn my back for five minutes and she waltzes in here
and cures you!
LISTER: She was only trying to help...
KRYTEN: It's not the help I mind, sir, it's the fact that she
succeeded!
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