Bare-Faced Messiah (PDF) - Apologetics Index

eyes and said, "You're right, I'm sorry," and he calmed down.
Normally people would gather round to try and placate him.
He was like a little child really, like a temper tantrum. Kima [Douglas] could handle him just right.
No one discussed his behaviour, it was not OK to do that. Someone would have written a report on
you. I wouldn't say it was never done, some of the newer people who hadn't had the years of
indoctrination, might have made a comment about how he was cranky. Everyone had it going on in
their own mind, but would never discuss it.
The day we left a woman friend of mine said, "He sure was a cranky old guy." I was really shocked
to hear it said out loud.
One day he had his arm in a sling - he had bursitis in his shoulder - and nothing would go right. It
was a really bad day.
He wrote scripts for promotional and training films. Like "How To Audit." Some had more grandiose
themes like "The History of Man", a film showing ancient shamans and Egyptians doing this and
that. The script began, "From the beginning of history man has searched for truth..."
Another was called "Problems of Life" - about this young couple who just couldn't figure out what
life was about. They went to see a scientist and a psychiatrist, who were portrayed as extreme
caricatures - the psychiatrist acting like a demented being and the scientist was crazy, trying to
make theorems on a blackboard. So they went to a Scientologist and found they had gone to the
right place.
On the times he came back and was around I was unhappy. There were various things - one was
the way he acted. He started the RPF; people were made to live in shabby places.
He was very abusive. I thought he had a great number of problems himself. He seemed like an
unstable person. More than anything, the fact that people could be so brutally punished, ostracised
for no logical reason. You couldn't follow it. He had a sense of how to keep people under control.
People feeling too independent was threatening to him. He wanted people cowed, under his
thumb, overwhelmed. Someone thinking for themselves, questioning him, was not acceptable.
I was a level 4 auditor. Each level learned different processes - 0, comm; 1, problems; 2, upsets,
ARC [Affinity-Reality-Certainty], etc. Level 6 did the [Saint Hill Special] Briefing Course. You had to
listen to an endless number of tapes of him giving courses. There was a great mass of data, hard
to tie together. Some was easy to understand and had value, but a lot of it wasn't.
Almost any piece of data was contradicted by another piece. You could get hit for almost anything
you did.
I left in March 79, largely because of his behaviour.
He only had a beard when we arrived; when he came back from Washington he didn't have a beard
and his hair seemed redder.
He made the outside world seem a pretty frightening place.