Bare-Faced Messiah (PDF) - Apologetics Index

In Oakland, after the lecture, a very old man came up to Ron - he was about the last person in the
world still alive who knew Freud. His name was Joseph von Urban. He said to Ron: "Don't be
discouraged and don't let your bad press or the criticisms get you down. Freud, too, was maligned
in his day." It made a tremendous impression on Ron.
Last weekend he drove out with me to Malibu and boasted that his wife had packed his bag for him
and told him to spend the weekend with a pretty girl. He spoke of Alexis and he said I was the only
person he knew who would set up a white silk tent for him. His drinking was fantastic, I think it was
whisky. He slept for most of the next day.
I begin to see him as an imperfect character - our romance is dying and the love altered to
something else.
Nov 5: Two weeks ago a long letter from him. Had long phone call from Kansas.
Nov 27: He was tremendously emotionally disturbed. He said he hasn't been able to write a word
and recovery of engram from Sara the day she took sleeping pills revealed a phone call from me
asking for him on business matters. He inferred I told her things about her relationship which
triggered the suicide attempt. Frank Dessler has been out for my scalp telling Ron I am not good
for him. Dessler said to Barbara, "He takes his toys, plays with them, and when he's through
breaks them and throws them out the window."
He is basically a clinical case. Knowing he is paranoid I know that reassurance of love can make
this monster mild as a lamb.
I never told Sara about the affair. He fired me because he thought I had triggered the suicide
attempt. Highlights of my conversation with Ron:
Me: You make a habit of instilling engrams too, don't you. That's fine, that's good behaviour for the
founder of Dianetics.
He: Isn't it exciting for you being a pawn on such a grand chess board. You are playing for the world.
Can you think of anything more exciting?
Me: I don't give a good goddamn about the world. I want a single gratifying human relationship.
He: You couldn't have one. You're an ambitious woman. You crave power. You're a Marie Antoinette,
a Cleopatra, a Lucretia Borgia and therefore you must have a Caesar or an Alexander.
Me: No, I don't need a Caesar, even though Caesar may need me. I know you now, Ron, and at this
moment am closer to you than anyone has ever been.
He: (head hung low) And knowing me you don't care for me any more.
Me: I care for you in a different, new and exciting way. (He put his hands on my shoulders and drew
me to him.)
He: I shouldn't do this. (He kissed me).
Me: You still care for me.