murakami, haruki - Norwegian wood

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the point. I can't forgive myself. You tell me there's nothing I can do about a natural change in feelings, but my relationship with Naoko was not that simple. If you stop and think about it, she and I were bound together at the border between life and death. It was like that for us from the start." "If you feel some kind of pain with regard to Naoko's death, I would advise you to keep on feeling that pain for the rest of your life. And if there's something you can learn from it, you should do that, too. But quite aside from that, you should be happy with Midori. Your pain has nothing to do with your relationship with her. If you hurt her any more than you already have, the wound could be too deep to fix. So, hard as it may be, you have to be strong. You have to grow up more, be more of an adult. I left the sanatorium and came all the way up here to Tokyo to tell you that - all the way on that coffin of a train." "I understand what you're telling me," I said to Reiko, "but I'm still not prepared to follow through on it. I mean, that was such a sad little funeral! No one should have to die like that." Reiko stretched out her hand and stroked my head. "We all have to die like that sometime. I will, and so will you." We took the five-minute walk along the river bank to the local public baths and came home feeling more refreshed. I opened the bottle of wine and we sat on the veranda drinking it. "Hey, Watanabe, could you bring out another glass?" "Sure," I said. "But what for?" "We're going to have our own funeral for Naoko, just the two of us. One that's not so sad." When I handed her the glass, Reiko filled it to the brim and set it on the stone lantern in the garden. Then she sat on the veranda, leaning against a pillar, guitar in her arms, and smoked a cigarette. "And now could you bring out a box of matches? Make it the biggest 344
one you can find." I brought out an economy-size box of kitchen matches and sat down next to her. "Now what I want you to do is lay down a match every time I play a song, just set them in a row. I'm going to play every song I can think of." First she played a soft, lovely rendition of Henry Mancini's "Dear Heart". "You gave a recording of this to Naoko, didn't you?" she asked. "I did. For Christmas the year before last. She really liked that song." "I like it, too," said Reiko. "So sweet and beautiful ..." and she ran through a few bars of the melody one more time before taking another sip of wine. "I wonder how many songs I can play before I get completely drunk. This'll be a nice funeral, don't you think - not so sad?" Reiko moved on to the Beatles, playing "<strong>Norwegian</strong> Wood", "Yesterday", "Michelle", and "Something". She sang and played "Here Comes the Sun", then played "The Fool on the Hill". I laid seven matches in a row. "Seven songs," said Reiko, sipping more wine and smoking another cigarette. "Those guys sure knew something about the sadness of life, and gentleness." By "those guys" Reiko of course meant John Lennon, Paul McCartney and George Harrison. After a short breather, Reiko crushed her cigarette out and picked up her guitar again. She played "Penny Lane", "Blackbird", "Julia", "When I'm 64", "Nowhere Man", "And I Love Her", and "Hey Jude". "How many songs is that?" "Fourteen," I said. She sighed and asked me, "How about you? Can you play something - maybe one song?" "No way. I'm terrible." 345
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HARUKI MURAKAMI was born in Kyoto i
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First published as Normeei no marl
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The stewardess came to check on me
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a kick to some part of my mind. Wak
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"I just know," she said, increasing
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along the path. "I'm sorry," she sa
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Once upon a time, many years ago -
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national anthem, too, of course. Yo
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for ashtrays held mounds of cigaret
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anything about the others myself, I
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"But that's impossible," he said ma
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Almost a year had gone by since I h
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eally wouldn't be any bother to you
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occupying that central position. Tr
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wiper. Kizuki had left no suicide n
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Naoko called me the following Satur
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somebody in the dorm had taken down
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answers they wanted. And so I went
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hesitation. "Not exactly fashionabl
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he said. "Swallowed 'em whole." "Wh
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and while she was putting on her st
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That winter I found a part-time job
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arrived at Naoko's room the cake wa
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trying to go on, but had come up ag
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I picked up my clothes and dressed.
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at the end I added: Waiting for you
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etter. As you say, this is probably
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Maybe this firefly was on the verge
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During the summer holidays the univ
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dust covered his desk and radio. Hi
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she said. "I had a perm this summer
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omantic company? New women in far-o
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lecture. When it was over I went to
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Watanabe, I have this feeling like,
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problems far more urgent and releva
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ain." "Shouldn't you go home and ge
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expensive school trips. For instanc
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esting on her lap. "That was the pr
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you." "I'd like that," I said. Mido
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the shutter and stepped a few paces
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"Thanks," I said. It suddenly dawne
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I nodded, swallowing a mouthful of
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"You're very clear about what you l
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"I'd go and have a look around at l
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unning away." "Even if this place b
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"It's true. Don't you think I'm ter
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different from other people's. I'm
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call," I said. 'As long as lunch is
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At 11.30 Nagasawa was ready to give
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"So find a vending machine and a ni
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the events had undoubtedly happened
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this time I am very, very calm. Cle
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We eat freshly picked fruits and ve
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to the Ami Hostel. A woman receptio
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still taste my morning coffee. By t
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PRIVATE NO TRESPASSING. A few clues
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merely a nice person but whose nice
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my question. "The first thing you o
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"What should I do, then? Give me an
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I nodded. "I think the three of us
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we can ask a staff member to buy fo
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"I'm sure I'll be fine." "So, that
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With Naoko gone, I went to sleep on
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weightlessness on the secretion of
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"It's lovely, though," said Naoko.
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never plays it unless I request it.
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laughing. "How many girls has he sl
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"I couldn't get wet," she said in a
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Reiko sat alone on the carpet, play
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She picked up the basketball again,
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it in hot water, taking a few days
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I said I liked him and thought he w
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all this talk about me. You came he
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have negative thoughts about her be
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draw people - or draw me, at least
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her, outside work, or sports. She h
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est side, I'd say he succeeded. His
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anana; if we got lonely, we'd go to
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the window. She had drawn her knees
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changes to be reborn in utter perfe
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feed and a garden hose. Naoko screw
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"We'll be back before lunch." The t
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used it to make a whistle. The trai
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adios in our rooms, so if I don't c
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"It feels like ancient history," sa
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"Well, it depends how you look at i
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"She was the kind of person who too
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something inside me had died. I jus
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dining hall. "Is he a doctor or a p
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"Fine," said Reiko. "But if we keep
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most. Then I'd have her play the pi
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to go on with her story. "Well, any
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and saying "There there,' and she's
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There was nothing I could say, and
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ever experienced before, never once
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Of course. I told him everything th
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everything he could to heal me, and
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night before, Naoko was the usual N
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the way, when you went to Tokyo?" "
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her body in my hands. In the darkne
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"You see what?" "Nothing. Just "I s
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I'd make lots of babies for you as
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"Hmm ..." "And I'm just spacing out
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Midori came for me at 9.30 on Sunda
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"I don't know, I've never done it w
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like the subjunctive case and diffe
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somehow to the East India Company?'
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comes we have to treat them to sush
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Watanabe." "Glad to meet you," I sa
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"No, I guess not. It's complicated,
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"I really can't say until the time
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know if I can keep going to univers
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At 1.30 she left the hospital to do
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"After I do my laundry tomorrow mor
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ed and held it by the tip of his pe
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make people get really vicious all
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worry, I'd take care of both you an
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"Will you really take me to a porno
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stolen bases. After noon I went bac
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made myself a cup of tea with a tea
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"I do." "Look, the world is an inhe
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Eventually a waiter came and took o
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"What do you mean "that kind of tal
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"You know, Toru," she said, "I have
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"I can leave," I said. "No," said H
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of loving anybody. There's always s
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"Do you know somewhere we could pla
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"Or is it that you don't like being
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anybody's said to me in the past ye
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quadrangle. I began by telling Naok
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There was no sign of Midori at the
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I sipped my whisky and soda, then s
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open a pistachio, "the whole time I
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"You know," she said, "I have this
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"There aren't any trees around here
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early." "Wait a minute, I thought y
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"Me, too," I said. "Every once in a
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situation conducive to sexual excit
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eyond the window cast a soft white
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so painful for me to write letters.
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Thinking back on the year 1969, all
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shovelling snow when there was time
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over this, and then climbed into he
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great couple." "Yeah, right!" I sai
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I went to a phone box and dialled h
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gardeners in the area and because h
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Page 296 and 297: A letter came from Midori on 6 Apri
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Page 312 and 313: "I've been really lonely these past
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Page 318 and 319: "But really, Watanabe, you don't wa
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Page 322 and 323: The fourth thing I have to say is t
Page 324 and 325: Reiko wrote to me several times aft
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Page 330 and 331: However I might phrase it, though,
Page 332 and 333: On the train out to Kichijoji, Reik
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Page 336 and 337: "The jacket and trousers are hers,
Page 338 and 339: her why she was burning stuff like
Page 340 and 341: stroked her hair. "Don't worry,' I
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Page 346 and 347: "So play it terribly." I brought ou
Page 348 and 349: myself inside her. "You're not goin
Page 350 and 351: you: you'll do fine wherever you go
Page 352 and 353: TRANSLATOR'S NOTE Haruki Murakami w
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