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murakami, haruki - Norwegian wood

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the works of Tennessee Williams and their place in American<br />

literature), and when it was over, I did a long count to three and turned<br />

around. Midori was gone.<br />

April was too lonely a month to spend all alone. In April, everyone<br />

around me looked happy. People would throw off their coats and<br />

enjoy each other's company in the sunshine - talking, playing catch,<br />

holding hands. But I was always by myself. Naoko, Midori,<br />

Nagasawa: all of them had gone away from where I stood. Now I had<br />

no one to say "Good morning" to or "Have a nice day". I even missed<br />

Storm Trooper. I spent the whole month with this hopeless sense of<br />

isolation. I tried to speak to Midori a few times, but the answer I got<br />

from her was always the same: "I don't want to talk to you now" - and<br />

I knew from the tone of her voice that she meant it. She was always<br />

with the girl with glasses, or else I saw her with a tall, short-haired<br />

guy. He had these incredibly long legs and always wore white<br />

basketball shoes.<br />

April ended and May came along, but May was even worse than<br />

April. In the deepening spring of May, I had no choice but to<br />

recognize the trembling of my heart. It usually happened as the sun<br />

was going down. In the pale evening gloom, when the soft fragrance<br />

of magnolias hung in the air, my heart would swell without warning,<br />

and tremble, and lurch with a stab of pain. I would try clamping my<br />

eyes shut and gritting my teeth, and wait for it to pass. And it would<br />

pass - but slowly, taking its own time, and leaving a dull ache in its<br />

path.<br />

At those times I would write to Naoko. In my letters to her, I would<br />

describe only things that were touching or pleasant or beautiful: the<br />

fragrance of grasses, the caress of a spring breeze, the light of the<br />

moon, a film I'd seen, a song I liked, a book that had moved me. I<br />

myself would be comforted by<br />

letters like this when I would reread what I had written. And I would<br />

feel that the world I lived in was a wonderful one. I wrote any number<br />

305

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