murakami, haruki - Norwegian wood

"Will you really take me to a porno movie?" "Of course I will."
"A really disgusting one."
"I'll research the matter thoroughly." "Good. I'll call you," she said and
hung up.
A week went by without a word from Midori. No calls, no sign of her
in the lecture hall. I kept hoping for a message from her whenever I
went back to the dorm, but there were never any. One night, I tried to
keep my promise by thinking of her when I masturbated, but it didn't
work. I tried switching over to Naoko, but not even Naoko's image
was any help that time. It seemed so ridiculous I gave up. I took a
swig of whisky, brushed my teeth and went to bed.
I wrote a letter to Naoko on Sunday morning. One thing I told her
about was Midori's father. I went to the hospital to visit the father of a
girl in one of my lectures and ate some cucumbers in his room. When
he heard me crunching on them, he wanted some too, and he ate his
with the same crunching sound. Five days later, though, he died. I still
have a vivid memory of the tiny crunching he made when he chewed
his pieces of cucumber. People leave strange, little memories of
themselves behind when they die. My letter went on:
I think of you and Reiko and the aviary while I lie in bed after waking
up in the morning. I think about the peacock and pigeons and parrots
and turkeys - and about the rabbits. I remember the yellow raincapes
you and Reiko wore with the hoods up that rainy morning. It feels
good to think about you when I’m warm in bed. I feel as if you're
curled up there beside me, fast asleep. And I think how great it would
be if it were true.
I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the
energy I can muster. Just as you take care of the birds and the fields
every morning, every morning I wind my own spring. I give it some
236