murakami, haruki - Norwegian wood
murakami, haruki - Norwegian wood murakami, haruki - Norwegian wood
There was nothing I could say, and so I said nothing. ""What's wrong?' she says to me. "You like it this way, don't you? I knew you would the first time I met you. I know you like it. It's much better than doing it with a man - isn't it? Look how wet you are. I can make you feel even better if you'll let me. It's true. I can make you feel like your body's melting away. You want me to, don't you?' And she was right. She was much better than my husband. And I did want her to do it even more! But I couldn't let it happen. "Let's do this once a week,' she said. "Just once a week. Nobody will find out. It'll be our little secret'." "But I got out of bed and put on my dressing-gown and told her to leave and never come back. She just looked at me. Her eyes were absolutely flat. I had never seen them like that before. It was as if they were painted on cardboard. They had no depth. After she stared at me for a while, she gathered up her clothes without a word and, as slowly as she could, as though she were making a show of it, she put on each item, one at a time. Then she went back into the piano room and took a brush from her bag. She brushed her hair and wiped the blood from her lips with a handkerchief, put on her shoes, and left. As she went out, she said, "You're a lesbian, you know. It's true. You may try to hide it, but you'll be a lesbian until the day you die'." "Is it true?" I asked. Reiko curved her lips and thought for a while. "Well, it is and it isn't. I definitely felt better with her than with my husband. That's a fact. I had a time there when I really agonized over the question. Maybe I really was a lesbian and just hadn't noticed until then. But I don't think so any more. Which is not to say I don't have the tendencies. I probably do have them. But I'm not a lesbian in the proper sense of the term. I never feel desire when I look at a woman. Know what I mean?" I nodded. 188
"Certain kinds of girls, though, do respond to me, and I can feel it when that happens. Those are the only times it comes out in me. I can hold Naoko in my arms, though, and feel nothing special. We go around in the flat practically naked when the weather's hot, and we take baths together, sometimes even sleep in the same bed, but nothing happens. I don't feel a thing. I can see that she has a beautiful body, but that's all. Actually, Naoko and I played a game once. We made believe we were lesbians. Want to hear about it?" "Sure. Tell me." "When I told her the story I just told you - we tell each other everything, you know - Naoko tried an experiment. The two of us got undressed and she tried caressing me, but it didn't work at all. It just tickled. I thought I was going to die laughing. Just thinking about it makes me itchy. She was so clumsy! I'll bet you're glad to hear that." "Yes I am, to tell the truth." "Well, anyway, that's about it," said Reiko, scratching near an eyebrow with the tip of her little finger. "After the girl left my house, I found a chair and sat there spacing out for a while, wondering what to do. I could hear the dull beating of my heart from deep inside my body. My arms and legs seemed to weigh a ton, and my mouth felt as though I'd eaten a moth or something, it was so dry. But I dragged myself to the bathroom, knowing my daughter would be back soon. I wanted to clean those places where the girl had touched and licked me. I scrubbed myself with soap, over and over, but I couldn't seem to get rid of the slimy feeling she had left behind. I knew I was probably imagining it, but that didn't help. That night, I asked my husband to make love to me, almost as a way to get rid of the defilement. Of course, I didn't tell him anything - I couldn't. All I said to him was that I wanted him to take it slow, to give it more time than usual. And he did. He concentrated on every little detail, he really took a long, long time, and the way I came that night, oh yes, it was like nothing I had 189
- Page 138 and 139: Reiko sat alone on the carpet, play
- Page 140 and 141: She picked up the basketball again,
- Page 142 and 143: it in hot water, taking a few days
- Page 144 and 145: I said I liked him and thought he w
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- Page 150 and 151: draw people - or draw me, at least
- Page 152 and 153: her, outside work, or sports. She h
- Page 154 and 155: est side, I'd say he succeeded. His
- Page 156 and 157: anana; if we got lonely, we'd go to
- Page 158 and 159: the window. She had drawn her knees
- Page 160 and 161: changes to be reborn in utter perfe
- Page 162 and 163: feed and a garden hose. Naoko screw
- Page 164 and 165: "We'll be back before lunch." The t
- Page 166 and 167: used it to make a whistle. The trai
- Page 168 and 169: adios in our rooms, so if I don't c
- Page 170 and 171: "It feels like ancient history," sa
- Page 172 and 173: "Well, it depends how you look at i
- Page 174 and 175: "She was the kind of person who too
- Page 176 and 177: something inside me had died. I jus
- Page 178 and 179: dining hall. "Is he a doctor or a p
- Page 180 and 181: "Fine," said Reiko. "But if we keep
- Page 182 and 183: most. Then I'd have her play the pi
- Page 184 and 185: to go on with her story. "Well, any
- Page 186 and 187: and saying "There there,' and she's
- Page 190 and 191: ever experienced before, never once
- Page 192 and 193: Of course. I told him everything th
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- Page 196 and 197: night before, Naoko was the usual N
- Page 198 and 199: the way, when you went to Tokyo?" "
- Page 200 and 201: her body in my hands. In the darkne
- Page 202 and 203: "You see what?" "Nothing. Just "I s
- Page 204 and 205: I'd make lots of babies for you as
- Page 206 and 207: "Hmm ..." "And I'm just spacing out
- Page 208 and 209: Midori came for me at 9.30 on Sunda
- Page 210 and 211: "I don't know, I've never done it w
- Page 212 and 213: like the subjunctive case and diffe
- Page 214 and 215: somehow to the East India Company?'
- Page 216 and 217: comes we have to treat them to sush
- Page 218 and 219: Watanabe." "Glad to meet you," I sa
- Page 220 and 221: "No, I guess not. It's complicated,
- Page 222 and 223: "I really can't say until the time
- Page 224 and 225: know if I can keep going to univers
- Page 226 and 227: At 1.30 she left the hospital to do
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- Page 232 and 233: make people get really vicious all
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"Certain kinds of girls, though, do respond to me, and I can feel it<br />
when that happens. Those are the only times it comes out in me. I can<br />
hold Naoko in my arms, though, and feel nothing special. We go<br />
around in the flat practically naked when the weather's hot, and we<br />
take baths together, sometimes even sleep in the same bed, but<br />
nothing happens. I don't feel a thing. I can see that she has a beautiful<br />
body, but that's all. Actually, Naoko and I played a game once. We<br />
made believe we were lesbians. Want to hear about it?"<br />
"Sure. Tell me."<br />
"When I told her the story I just told you - we tell each<br />
other everything, you know - Naoko tried an experiment. The two of<br />
us got undressed and she tried caressing me, but it didn't work at all. It<br />
just tickled. I thought I was going to die laughing. Just thinking about<br />
it makes me itchy. She was so clumsy! I'll bet you're glad to hear<br />
that."<br />
"Yes I am, to tell the truth."<br />
"Well, anyway, that's about it," said Reiko, scratching near an<br />
eyebrow with the tip of her little finger. "After the girl left my house, I<br />
found a chair and sat there spacing out for a while, wondering what to<br />
do. I could hear the dull beating of my heart from deep inside my<br />
body. My arms and legs seemed to weigh a ton, and my mouth felt as<br />
though I'd eaten a moth or something, it was so dry. But I dragged<br />
myself to the bathroom, knowing my daughter would be back soon. I<br />
wanted to clean those places where the girl had touched and licked<br />
me. I scrubbed myself with soap, over and over, but I couldn't seem to<br />
get rid of the slimy feeling she had left behind. I knew I was probably<br />
imagining it, but that didn't help. That night, I asked my husband to<br />
make love to me, almost as a way to get rid of the defilement. Of<br />
course, I didn't tell him anything - I couldn't. All I said to him was that<br />
I wanted him to take it slow, to give it more time than usual. And he<br />
did. He concentrated on every little detail, he really took a long, long<br />
time, and the way I came that night, oh yes, it was like nothing I had<br />
189
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