murakami, haruki - Norwegian wood

more flawed human being than you realize.
I sometimes wonder: IF you and I had met under absolutely ordinary
circumstances, and IF we had liked each other, what would have
happened? IF I had been normal and you had been normal (which, of
course, you are) and there had been no Kizuki, what would have
happened? Of course, this "IF" is way too big. I'm trying hard at least
to be fair and honest. It's all I can do at this point. I hope to convey
some small part of my feelings to you this way.
Unlike an ordinary hospital, this place has free visiting hours. As long
as you call the day before, you can come any time. You can even eat
with me, and there's a place for you to stay. Please come and see me
sometime when it's convenient for you. I look forward to seeing you.
I'm enclosing a map. Sorry this turned into such a long letter.
I read Naoko's letter all the way through, and then I read it again.
After that I went downstairs, bought a Coke from the vending
machine, and drank it while reading the letter one more time. I put the
seven pages of writing paper back into the envelope and laid it on my
desk. My name and address had been written on the pink envelope in
perfect, tiny characters that were just a bit too precisely formed for
those of a girl. I sat at my desk, studying the envelope. The return
address on the back said Ami Hostel. An odd name. I thought about it
for a
few minutes, concluding that the "ami" must be from the French word
for "friend".
After putting the letter away in my desk drawer, I changed clothes and
went out. I was afraid that if I stayed near the letter I would end up
reading it 10, 20, who knew how many times? I walked the streets of
Tokyo on Sunday without a destination in mind, as I had always done
with Naoko. I wandered from one street to the next, recalling her letter
line by line and mulling each sentence over as best I could. When the
sun went down, I returned to the dorm and made a long-distance call
107