C4 antho - Chamber Four

C4 antho - Chamber Four C4 antho - Chamber Four

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~82~ The Chamber Four Fiction Anthology practical way, to be able to compete at the markets of business and love. How I wish I were her. Tanya and I spend lecture breaks together smoking American cigarettes we buy for ten thousand apiece, for none of us can afford the luxury of a whole pack. We share her cigarette today because I am too broke for even one snout. “Was I too loud this night?” “Not louder than usual.” Tanya informs me abundantly, as she always will, of Alyosha’s codpiece contents. Alyosha is her latest infatuation we had the boon of perceiving. The last inhalation of Pall Mall is hers. In a bluish, bridal veil of smoke, she confides me the latest Secret of Secrets. “This night Alyosha said he wants a baby by me.” In Donetsk, as everybody knows, children are rather aborted than born. “Lucky you,” I say. “No one has ever wanted children by me. But you can give it a try.” “God forbid,” Tanya says. “I’m waiting for the reply from the Kiev Travel Star. I wish they would take me!” The bell to the next lecture rings and we go to listen to the Truth of the Truths of Theoretical Phonetics of the English Language delivered by Lubov Gavrilovna, a fierce spinster. Tanya is sitting next to me, looking directly into Lubov Gavrilovna’s mouth and zealously copying transcription signs from the blackboard, begging her goddess to forgive her premature thoughts of progeny: “/θ/ as in ‘thick’: voiceless, dental, fricative. /ð/ as in ‘then’: voiced, dental, fricative. /æ/ as in ‘bag’: front, open, short.” The blue book under my desk is revealing different truths to me. I am copying them, pretending to be in a theoretically-phonetic trance.

Semolinian Equinox ~83~ “A Bag of snakes in Birthday clothes is in Bad shape.” “The Calf’s lesson in Curve is well-learnt.” * * * * Andrey has just performed what he sardonically calls his marital duty. He is lying on his back, his head resting on my forearm, seeing the evening off with his last cigarette. “Have you ever wanted children?” I ask. Andrey turns his head to me. “By whom? You? No thanks. You’re too inept to wipe your own ass.” He raises his head, propping it on his own elbow. “Don’t take it personally,” he says. “There are basically no women in Donetsk to have children by. They’re all either sluts or fools, and you’re the latter.” I know that Andrey is right about me, but I want to redeem the female gender of Donetsk―I know an example. “Alyosha does want a baby by Tanya,” I say. “Really? What a hoot! He was thinking with his other head when he said that.” I shouldn’t have aired Tanya’s secret but it is too late. “A baby by a slut! That’s a good one!” Andrey grins, his teeth glaring in the fag light. * * * * Alyosha has left for his native village for the weekend. He needs a rest from incessant performances. He badly needs a substantial meal of mama’s purple borsch, with a hunk of

~82~ The <strong>Chamber</strong> <strong>Four</strong> Fiction Anthology<br />

practical way, to be able to compete at the markets of business<br />

and love. How I wish I were her.<br />

Tanya and I spend lecture breaks together smoking<br />

American cigarettes we buy for ten thousand apiece, for none<br />

of us can afford the luxury of a whole pack. We share her cigarette<br />

today because I am too broke for even one snout.<br />

“Was I too loud this night?”<br />

“Not louder than usual.”<br />

Tanya informs me abundantly, as she always will, of<br />

Alyosha’s codpiece contents. Alyosha is her latest infatuation<br />

we had the boon of perceiving. The last inhalation of Pall<br />

Mall is hers. In a bluish, bridal veil of smoke, she confides<br />

me the latest Secret of Secrets.<br />

“This night Alyosha said he wants a baby by me.”<br />

In Donetsk, as everybody knows, children are rather<br />

aborted than born.<br />

“Lucky you,” I say. “No one has ever wanted children by<br />

me. But you can give it a try.”<br />

“God forbid,” Tanya says. “I’m waiting for the reply from<br />

the Kiev Travel Star. I wish they would take me!”<br />

The bell to the next lecture rings and we go to listen to<br />

the Truth of the Truths of Theoretical Phonetics of the English<br />

Language delivered by Lubov Gavrilovna, a fierce spinster.<br />

Tanya is sitting next to me, looking directly into Lubov<br />

Gavrilovna’s mouth and zealously copying transcription<br />

signs from the blackboard, begging her goddess to forgive<br />

her premature thoughts of progeny: “/θ/ as in ‘thick’: voiceless,<br />

dental, fricative. /ð/ as in ‘then’: voiced, dental, fricative.<br />

/æ/ as in ‘bag’: front, open, short.”<br />

The blue book under my desk is revealing different<br />

truths to me. I am copying them, pretending to be in a theoretically-phonetic<br />

trance.

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