C4 antho - Chamber Four

C4 antho - Chamber Four C4 antho - Chamber Four

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~220~ The Chamber Four Fiction Anthology All she remembered were the buzzards and the kites in Sudan. “These people actually cut off the arms of their children. All because they didn’t know what an inoculation was―what vaccines were. We found out later, we learned that they thought we’d been injecting them with poison―that’s what Malmoud said. You should have seen the look on his face. Those villagers, they nearly killed those IRC people. And...and I don’t know why, for some reason they thought I was there to help, they thought...they thought I could bring their children back to life. “The five months I was there, I never saw anything like that―not in Rwanda, not in Kenya.” Betsy set the glasses on the table, then the plates. She picked up a box of matches and lit the candles. A gust of summer wind blew in through the open windows. The flames jumped. “I know I was told, ‘Don’t expect to make things better.’ That’s what Brian said when I first got there―to Sudan. ‘Don’t think that just because you come from privilege that you can change things.’ But I never thought it was going to be like that. Christ, I don’t know how we’re supposed to wipe out polio if...if...” Betsy’s voice faltered in her throat. She saw Paul standing in the doorway, drying his hands on a dishrag. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows. He filled the doorway, stood in a wide stance. He was a handsome man with a large jaw and dark eyes. Something about the way he was standing there reminded Betsy of how much she loved him. “Jesus,” he said, coming toward her. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He grabbed hold of the back of her neck with one hand, wrapped his other arm around her lower back. He pulled her close. “I had no idea,” he said. “I had no idea you were living with this.”

Helping Hands ~221~ Betsy angled her chin upward, smelled the wine on Paul’s breath as he came in close and spoke softly in her ear. His skin smelled of soap. He said everything she expected. It’s okay. There’s nothing to worry about. You did all you could. You’re a good person. Those people need the guiding light. They never got around to eating that night. Instead they sat on the couch in the living room, finished two bottles of red wine. They talked until two in the morning. By the time they went to sleep, Betsy’s eyes were puffy, swollen and red. As they climbed the stairs, she felt nauseous. Only the wine, she thought. Paul held her around the waist, supporting her. Her legs were rubbery and she had to hold onto the handrail. In the morning I’ll feel better. * * * * That night, insects filled her dreams. Every kind of insect. Gnats. Mosquitoes. Dragonflies. Praying Mantises. They were the size of cars. They swooped down on her, emerged from black skies, flapped their leathery wings. They had eyes like silver domes. She saw herself reflected in their vision. She saw hundreds of versions of herself, small, distorted. Her face bent into new angles. She covered her face with her arms, screamed “No no no no no” as she ran. She was running in the desert, she knew it was the Sahara. Her feet were bare, the sand lunar-gray, cold, the sky an endless black void. The insects droned above her, beyond her vision. She felt their menace in her blood. In the distance she saw the IRC tent bathed in moonlight, recognized the red crosses on the entrance flaps. And then she was there, pulling back the flaps. There was silence now. The insects were gone. She took a step inside the tent.

Helping Hands ~221~<br />

Betsy angled her chin upward, smelled the wine on<br />

Paul’s breath as he came in close and spoke softly in her ear.<br />

His skin smelled of soap. He said everything she expected.<br />

It’s okay. There’s nothing to worry about. You did all you<br />

could. You’re a good person. Those people need the guiding<br />

light.<br />

They never got around to eating that night. Instead they<br />

sat on the couch in the living room, finished two bottles of<br />

red wine. They talked until two in the morning. By the time<br />

they went to sleep, Betsy’s eyes were puffy, swollen and red.<br />

As they climbed the stairs, she felt nauseous. Only the wine,<br />

she thought. Paul held her around the waist, supporting her.<br />

Her legs were rubbery and she had to hold onto the handrail.<br />

In the morning I’ll feel better.<br />

* * * *<br />

That night, insects filled her dreams. Every kind of insect.<br />

Gnats. Mosquitoes. Dragonflies. Praying Mantises. They<br />

were the size of cars. They swooped down on her, emerged<br />

from black skies, flapped their leathery wings.<br />

They had eyes like silver domes. She saw herself reflected<br />

in their vision. She saw hundreds of versions of herself,<br />

small, distorted. Her face bent into new angles.<br />

She covered her face with her arms, screamed “No no no<br />

no no” as she ran. She was running in the desert, she knew it<br />

was the Sahara. Her feet were bare, the sand lunar-gray,<br />

cold, the sky an endless black void. The insects droned above<br />

her, beyond her vision. She felt their menace in her blood.<br />

In the distance she saw the IRC tent bathed in moonlight,<br />

recognized the red crosses on the entrance flaps. And<br />

then she was there, pulling back the flaps. There was silence<br />

now. The insects were gone. She took a step inside the tent.

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