C4 antho - Chamber Four

C4 antho - Chamber Four C4 antho - Chamber Four

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~204~ The Chamber Four Fiction Anthology “But Miguel―” “Billy,” James Carl said, raising his voice, “if the next word out of your mouth ain’t some Mexican gibberish I can’t understand, then I don’t want to hear another word.” “Dormir?” Billy said. “Good, but look at them when you’re talking. They’re the Spanish speakers, now ain’t they?” Billy turned to the group of Mexicans, who had grown silent as James Carl’s voice had risen. Miguel walked up. Billy searched the boy’s face, then said, “Dormir. Quere dormir.” Miguel nodded to him. “We will, too, then.” “I’m a dirty bastard,” James Carl said, looking at Billy. “I had me a feeling about this.” He walked off toward the house. “Put the cots up.” Watching his boss walk away, Billy thought he should say something. Anything. Explain himself somehow. He wanted to tell him how he would try to learn how to speak it and how he knows how to read it, but what came out was, “But my parents―” James Carl turned back. “What? What about your parents?” Billy couldn’t finish his thought because he didn’t have any idea what he had planned to say. It just came out. Embarrassed, he lowered his eyes and stared at the ground. “I won’t put up with a boy who’ll run his parents down, particularly when they ain’t here to defend themselves. Is that what you intended to do? Tell me it’s their fault you lied to me?” Billy said nothing. “What then?”

Black Night Ranch ~205~ “I don’t know,” Billy said. “Well, I don’t, either. But I know what trust is. Do you?” When Billy couldn’t answer, James Carl walked away. “You better sleep out here tonight,” Miguel said. “Yeah,” Billy said, but he didn’t move until his boss was fully out of sight. “Why did you speak English? You got me caught.” “Already caught. I just made it hurry,” Miguel said. He spoke to his family in Spanish, which Billy couldn’t understand, but when the square-faced one went to the back of their truck and retrieved a blanket for him, he figured out what had been said. Billy wrapped the blanket around him and pulled a lawn chair close to the warm pit of embers. He sat wondering if he’d be fired, but more than anything, he was just sorry he’d disappointed the man. He’d disappointed people before. So far as he could tell, it was as much his purpose to disappoint as it was the sheep’s apparent desire to die. The way James Carl looked at him when he realized he’d been lied to, Billy had seen before. He’d seen it when he let the bottom burn completely out of his mother’s favorite bean pot that had been handed down three generations. He’d seen it in his father when he stumbled in one night drunk and bloody. And he’d seen it especially severe in his grandmother when he’d doubted God. But he’d never seen it like it was in James Carl. It felt as different to him as the difference between killing a mouse and a horse. The bigger they are, the more it hurts. There is something in the weight of it. The size. The space a thing takes up in the world. He fell asleep in the chair feeling he had scarred a big piece of the world. A really big piece. Billy woke, scratching the back of his neck. Miguel’s little brother, springing from behind him, giggled and tossed a tuft of wool in Billy’s lap. From his cot Miguel shushed him, then

~204~ The <strong>Chamber</strong> <strong>Four</strong> Fiction Anthology<br />

“But Miguel―”<br />

“Billy,” James Carl said, raising his voice, “if the next<br />

word out of your mouth ain’t some Mexican gibberish I can’t<br />

understand, then I don’t want to hear another word.”<br />

“Dormir?” Billy said.<br />

“Good, but look at them when you’re talking. They’re the<br />

Spanish speakers, now ain’t they?”<br />

Billy turned to the group of Mexicans, who had grown<br />

silent as James Carl’s voice had risen. Miguel walked up.<br />

Billy searched the boy’s face, then said, “Dormir. Quere<br />

dormir.”<br />

Miguel nodded to him. “We will, too, then.”<br />

“I’m a dirty bastard,” James Carl said, looking at Billy. “I<br />

had me a feeling about this.” He walked off toward the<br />

house. “Put the cots up.”<br />

Watching his boss walk away, Billy thought he should<br />

say something. Anything. Explain himself somehow. He<br />

wanted to tell him how he would try to learn how to speak it<br />

and how he knows how to read it, but what came out was,<br />

“But my parents―”<br />

James Carl turned back. “What? What about your parents?”<br />

Billy couldn’t finish his thought because he didn’t have<br />

any idea what he had planned to say. It just came out. Embarrassed,<br />

he lowered his eyes and stared at the ground.<br />

“I won’t put up with a boy who’ll run his parents down,<br />

particularly when they ain’t here to defend themselves. Is<br />

that what you intended to do? Tell me it’s their fault you lied<br />

to me?”<br />

Billy said nothing.<br />

“What then?”

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