C4 antho - Chamber Four

Bad Cheetah
___________
by Andy Henion
from Word Riot
My mother, in bra and pantyhose, is kicking another
man out of her life, only this one we like. His name is Roland
Reynolds but everyone calls him Cheetah: a tall, easygoing
long-hauler with big cats on his forearms. He sits with a
sleepy smile on his face and his feet up on the recliner as my
mother rages, her finger inches from his handsome face.
Cheetah, it seems, has offended.
“That shit may fly with the truckstop crowd,” my mother
crows, “but not with me, asshole.”
My best friend Gordon and I watch the carnage thigh-tothigh
from the couch. Gordon is enjoying this immensely, I
know, based on the fact that my mother is panty-free under
the flesh-colored hose. When Sarah gets going like this, she’s
oblivious to anything but the focus of her wrath.
“Pack your crap and be gone when I get home,” she says.
At this point the banished beau typically begs for forgiveness,
but Cheetah simply winks in compliance, and Sarah sighs
and turns to the sofa.
“Joey, there’s lasagna in the fridge and pop in the garage.
Call me if you need me. And Gordon? Quit staring at my
crotch, son.”
* * * *
We’re sharing a joint in my basement bedroom. Cheetah
and I sit on the bed while Gordon stands ready with the