C4 antho - Chamber Four

C4 antho - Chamber Four C4 antho - Chamber Four

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~138~ The Chamber Four Fiction Anthology Castillo, I think. I would have spent far too much time wondering about how it all worked. But Ricardo? Ricardo wondered if the affliction gave Javier Castillo special knowledge beyond that of travel, if somehow, when in that space between disappearing and appearing, there were answers. But this thought was too complicated and Ricardo, despite trying to formulate the right questions, simply remained silent. What he said to Javier Castillo, instead, was something about dinner. In the dimly lit Italian restaurant, the backs of his arms sticking to the fake leather booth, Ricardo stared at Javier Castillo, smiled, but said nothing. Ricardo thought about ordering pasta, the one that looked like little ears, but he didn’t know what they were called. Javier Castillo ordered that pasta for Ricardo without a single word passing between them. Yes, somewhere in that space between disappearing and appearing, there must have been answers, but Ricardo had no idea how one reached such a place without the affliction. Ricardo worried that one day Javier Castillo would go in search of answers and never return. Ricardo first met Javier Castillo while working his evening shift at LAX. Ricardo worked a second job each evening as a skycap. In the gray space of the baggage claim, in the gray space of the check-in area, Ricardo had watched face after gray face arriving and departing. Javier Castillo was there to see his aunt off. Ricardo watched him the way he watched all people who were at LAX but neither arriving nor departing by plane. Accessories to travel, Ricardo had thought, accessories. They were not really people but means of transportation to or from the airport for these other people who were traveling by plane. Even years later, Ricardo could not explain why he continued to stare at Javier Castillo that night. It was not that Javier Castillo was a handsome man. He was, in many ways, rather ordinary in appearance. Javier Castillo had looked at him and said “Buenas noches.”

The Affliction ~139~ They began to talk. Ricardo noticed the way in which Javier Castillo’s eyes were dark, a dark brown flecked with gray. That Javier Castillo had spoken to him in Spanish didn’t bother Ricardo. Many people spoke to him in Spanish, could tell from his face and dark skin that he was of Mexican descent. They exchanged small talk, nothing remotely exciting. And despite this, Ricardo had felt his heart panic in his chest. Ricardo left the airport with him. He never went back. He never went home. He never called his wife and family. He couldn’t think of what to say or how to explain Javier Castillo to them. He left the airport with him and drove for hours. In a corner of his mind, he believed he was being abducted, but he had not been abducted. He had asked Javier Castillo if he could come with him. And in the sun visor mirror, Ricardo noticed his own eyes were a different color green. His eyes were more of a dark forest green, darker than the usual pale green he had seen in the mirror all of his life. Once, after almost three years of living with Javier Castillo, Ricardo felt the sudden urge to press his hand through him just before he completely faded away. He wanted to see if he would also start disappearing. The affliction. What must it have felt like? Could Javier Castillo actually feel himself dissolving? The hands, finger by finger? But Ricardo knew that when Javier Castillo disappeared, he did so evenly. It was not as if the chest dissolved leaving the heart exposed and beating. He just slowly faded into a shimmer, and then a shadow, and then air. It was gradual. There would be a man, and then a man seen through but still there, and then the dingy, yellowed wallpaper clinging to the wall behind where Javier Castillo had been standing. Dingy and dirty: the wall would suddenly be more sharply in focus, its browning yellow like the nicotine-and-tar-stained filter after smoking a cigarette. And though Ricardo had no explanation, he knew the disappearing happened faster at times,

~138~ The <strong>Chamber</strong> <strong>Four</strong> Fiction Anthology<br />

Castillo, I think. I would have spent far too much time wondering<br />

about how it all worked. But Ricardo? Ricardo wondered<br />

if the affliction gave Javier Castillo special knowledge<br />

beyond that of travel, if somehow, when in that space between<br />

disappearing and appearing, there were answers. But<br />

this thought was too complicated and Ricardo, despite trying<br />

to formulate the right questions, simply remained silent.<br />

What he said to Javier Castillo, instead, was something about<br />

dinner. In the dimly lit Italian restaurant, the backs of his<br />

arms sticking to the fake leather booth, Ricardo stared at<br />

Javier Castillo, smiled, but said nothing. Ricardo thought<br />

about ordering pasta, the one that looked like little ears, but<br />

he didn’t know what they were called. Javier Castillo ordered<br />

that pasta for Ricardo without a single word passing between<br />

them. Yes, somewhere in that space between disappearing<br />

and appearing, there must have been answers, but Ricardo<br />

had no idea how one reached such a place without the affliction.<br />

Ricardo worried that one day Javier Castillo would go<br />

in search of answers and never return.<br />

Ricardo first met Javier Castillo while working his<br />

evening shift at LAX. Ricardo worked a second job each<br />

evening as a skycap. In the gray space of the baggage claim,<br />

in the gray space of the check-in area, Ricardo had watched<br />

face after gray face arriving and departing. Javier Castillo<br />

was there to see his aunt off. Ricardo watched him the way<br />

he watched all people who were at LAX but neither arriving<br />

nor departing by plane. Accessories to travel, Ricardo had<br />

thought, accessories. They were not really people but means<br />

of transportation to or from the airport for these other people<br />

who were traveling by plane. Even years later, Ricardo<br />

could not explain why he continued to stare at Javier Castillo<br />

that night. It was not that Javier Castillo was a handsome<br />

man. He was, in many ways, rather ordinary in appearance.<br />

Javier Castillo had looked at him and said “Buenas noches.”

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