C4 antho - Chamber Four
C4 antho - Chamber Four C4 antho - Chamber Four
~102~ The Chamber Four Fiction Anthology * * * * November 5, 1953. Today is my birthday. I am eighteen. I feel nothing about this because all my life I have felt old. January 15, 1954. Come out with us, my roommates keep telling me. You’re so pretty, they say, as if that has anything to do with it. * * * * A woman with her head on straight: that was how I was always known. And I would have described myself in much the same way. It seemed I’d been born knowing there was a gap between our ideal vision of the world and its untidy reality; the matter had never caused me great pain. But in the process of reading Rebecca’s journals, I began to mistrust my own balance. Were my own bonds flimsier than I knew? Was my contentment about to shatter under more rigorous scrutiny? * * * * January 28, 1954. I asked Professor Redl why he thinks modern thought begins with Descartes and not with Locke or Hobbes, and he explained that Descartes applied rigorous science, in essence, to “doubt-proof” his ideas and that he treated knowledge itself as a measurable property. I told him I find Descartes bloodless and he said Montaigne will be my reward. February 13. When I asked Professor Redl why he gave me a B- on my paper, he told me I had under-explained the Mind-Body Problem. He told me I took too modern a view
Peacocks ~103~ in my discussion of it and did not adequately look at the question of faith. He said he always grades hard on the first paper and he was especially hard on me because he knows how much more I can do. March 20. Professor Redl said to be careful of falling too much in the thrall of Schopenhauer. He warned me against confusing alienation with freedom. He said refusal is seductive but it takes much more rigor to arrive at a genuine, soundly reasoned yes. March 31. Professor Redl speaks the most beautiful French. When he read aloud in class today, all meaning vanished in the music of the language. April 4. Where does desire dwell? I’d imagine Descartes would say in the body, along with hunger, thirst and the need for sleep, but I cannot imagine it as just a physical impulse, at least not for me, since in my (limited) experience there is always the mental element, which, though unrelated to bodily sensation, I have felt as strongly as anything in my body. April 16. Eric was right about Montaigne. I see what he means about his startlingly modern aesthetic. Had they already crossed the line that normally separates professor and student, or had Eric simply begun to occupy a more intimate place in Rebecca’s mind? I, too, had fallen for several of my professors, not because they were especially handsome, but because they had introduced me to the suppleness of my own intellect. Although these crushes were not rooted in the physical, I noticed every physical aspect of those men: the slant of their handwriting, whether or not they wore wedding rings, the rhythm and sonority of their speech. It was men like Eric who affected me the most, the serious, unyielding ones, whose terse words of praise kept me nourished for weeks.
- Page 51 and 52: How to Assemble a Portal to Another
- Page 53 and 54: How to Assemble a Portal to Another
- Page 55 and 56: Seven Little Stories About Sex ____
- Page 57 and 58: Seven Little Stories About Sex ~57~
- Page 59 and 60: Seven Little Stories About Sex ~59~
- Page 61 and 62: Seven Little Stories About Sex ~61~
- Page 63 and 64: Seven Little Stories About Sex ~63~
- Page 65 and 66: Seven Little Stories About Sex ~65~
- Page 67 and 68: Seven Little Stories About Sex ~67~
- Page 69 and 70: Men Alone _________ by Steve Almond
- Page 71 and 72: For the Sake of the Children ~71~ y
- Page 73 and 74: For the Sake of the Children ~73~ P
- Page 75 and 76: For the Sake of the Children ~75~ *
- Page 77 and 78: Semolinian Equinox ________________
- Page 79 and 80: Semolinian Equinox ~79~ with matter
- Page 81 and 82: Semolinian Equinox ~81~ she is esca
- Page 83 and 84: Semolinian Equinox ~83~ “A Bag of
- Page 85 and 86: Semolinian Equinox ~85~ “I didn
- Page 87 and 88: Semolinian Equinox ~87~ ‘tether o
- Page 89 and 90: Semolinian Equinox ~89~ in five day
- Page 91 and 92: The Girl In The Glass ~91~ changed
- Page 93 and 94: Peacocks ~93~ of what, growing up,
- Page 95 and 96: Peacocks ~95~ “Instant friends,
- Page 97 and 98: Peacocks ~97~ Rebecca stood up. “
- Page 99 and 100: Peacocks ~99~ then I saw Eric kneel
- Page 101: Peacocks ~101~ I had little sympath
- Page 105 and 106: Peacocks ~105~ no matter what she s
- Page 107 and 108: Peacocks ~107~ “Is it really poss
- Page 109 and 110: Peacocks ~109~ rent circumstances,
- Page 111 and 112: Peacocks ~111~ “Let’s move this
- Page 113 and 114: Peacocks ~113~ not-knowing would ne
- Page 115 and 116: The Naturalists _____________ by B.
- Page 117 and 118: The Naturalists ~117~ sights were n
- Page 119 and 120: The Naturalists ~119~ With each pie
- Page 121 and 122: The Naturalists ~121~ “Aww, come
- Page 123 and 124: The Naturalists ~123~ Nature’s Bo
- Page 125 and 126: The Naturalists ~125~ cranny. And I
- Page 127 and 128: The Naturalists ~127~ “Pardon?”
- Page 129 and 130: The Naturalists ~129~ She turned to
- Page 131 and 132: The Naturalists ~131~ As dusk appro
- Page 133 and 134: The Affliction ___________ by C. Da
- Page 135 and 136: The Affliction ~135~ the Los Angele
- Page 137 and 138: The Affliction ~137~ overwhelming n
- Page 139 and 140: The Affliction ~139~ They began to
- Page 141 and 142: The Affliction ~141~ would get back
- Page 143 and 144: Bad Cheetah ___________ by Andy Hen
- Page 145 and 146: Bad Cheetah ~145~ to invite us alon
- Page 147 and 148: Bad Cheetah ~147~ summoning a man a
- Page 149 and 150: Bad Cheetah ~149~ suddenly for a cu
- Page 151 and 152: Nothings ___________ by Aaron Block
~102~ The <strong>Chamber</strong> <strong>Four</strong> Fiction Anthology<br />
* * * *<br />
November 5, 1953. Today is my birthday. I am eighteen.<br />
I feel nothing about this because all my life I have felt old.<br />
January 15, 1954. Come out with us, my roommates<br />
keep telling me. You’re so pretty, they say, as if that has<br />
anything to do with it.<br />
* * * *<br />
A woman with her head on straight: that was how I was always<br />
known. And I would have described myself in much the<br />
same way. It seemed I’d been born knowing there was a gap<br />
between our ideal vision of the world and its untidy reality; the<br />
matter had never caused me great pain. But in the process of<br />
reading Rebecca’s journals, I began to mistrust my own balance.<br />
Were my own bonds flimsier than I knew? Was my contentment<br />
about to shatter under more rigorous scrutiny?<br />
* * * *<br />
January 28, 1954. I asked Professor Redl why he thinks<br />
modern thought begins with Descartes and not with Locke<br />
or Hobbes, and he explained that Descartes applied rigorous<br />
science, in essence, to “doubt-proof” his ideas and that<br />
he treated knowledge itself as a measurable property. I told<br />
him I find Descartes bloodless and he said Montaigne will<br />
be my reward.<br />
February 13. When I asked Professor Redl why he gave<br />
me a B- on my paper, he told me I had under-explained the<br />
Mind-Body Problem. He told me I took too modern a view
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