Severely handicapped class arrives - The Lowell
Severely handicapped class arrives - The Lowell
Severely handicapped class arrives - The Lowell
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FEATURE<br />
SCHOOLDAZE<br />
By Erfc Fasti n*<br />
A» we begm the new semester we must welcome home some (avorite<br />
friends. I begin the welcomes by saying "Hello!" to none other than<br />
one of our blond, blue-eyed Swedish Svrfcr brothers, Erik Noyes..<br />
Yes, Freshmen, now you can finally experience Erik for real, not<br />
through your monthly Thr lavtU. not Severutm .<br />
Two other quick welcomes: Tina llorton has relume! from a<br />
semester in Germany (apparently she left Maureen Con irvrc).<br />
I must give an especially big "Hello!" lo everyone's favorite<br />
substitute teacher for everything, Mr. Knox.. Mr. K is now. dum<br />
do dum. a Permanent Tcachsr with five sections of Geography!<br />
Freshmen Beware! By the way, docs anyone actually know Mr.<br />
Koox's first nune? Does be have one?<br />
Rumor hal h that the Too Tough To Handle CTBS Test will be<br />
revised for next year. No, our lest U not going to ihe Kindergarteners<br />
across the puking !oi, the test is being trashed. It seems a few loo<br />
many students received the urpossible to reach 99 percent.<br />
How terrible! No more Mr. Camacho. Mary Mead in Pago Pago,<br />
or the reproductive cycles of the shrew? No more seeing "gravitate<br />
:: earth," "3x4," or "herd"? Oh, please no. How cruel! Please,<br />
Amiable A], do something, anything, to save our beloved CTBS!<br />
Here, we'll offer you a compromise: you save the lest, and we'll keep<br />
the halls clean. If this fails, maybe the LEC can sun a "Save the<br />
CTBS Test!" campaign. At least somebody should do something: how<br />
can we let Mr. Caaucbo dnwn7<br />
Or. a sour note, the BSCS (Board for Scotch and Coors Service)<br />
has ruled tint no club or organization may sell homemade ftuods. <strong>The</strong><br />
decision was made after Mrs. Hayes' A.P. World History Class<br />
sold baked goodies (and they were very good goodie*). Pray tell, you<br />
wise and serious BSCS leaders, why can clubs not sell homemade<br />
baked goods? What do the advanced placement students do, sell their<br />
talarfes In 25 years lime on the New York Futures Market? Do you<br />
really think people such as Gordon Tans, Avrll Swan, Julie<br />
YamsJcawa, and John Sloan (granted his cookies were mysterious),<br />
arc going lo poison the student body? All these promising students<br />
(they are promising 5's on Ihe A.P. test) want to do is go on field trips.<br />
Although It may not seem possible, our wonderful (this is their appreciation<br />
for the month) teachers know material which is not related<br />
to their subjects. <strong>The</strong>refore, a con'est has been devised lo reward<br />
students for their knowledge and enable teachers to share incir extra<br />
facts.<br />
<strong>The</strong> Question is: What color b Puce?" (Question from English<br />
teacher Mr. Peter Gain. •->. <strong>The</strong> prizes are: First Prize: A bellydance<br />
lesson from Mrs. Lu.. "rondahl. Second Prize: \ bmk.<br />
6:30am Saturday morning walk v.,~ 'r. Peter Gamble, Thinl Prize:<br />
A tennis lesion from Miss Sandy Bird, i-ounh Priu: A cello lesson,<br />
given in Russian, from Mrs. Nancy laves. Fifth Prize: A car tuneup<br />
by Mr. Robert McMtlns. Son). no exchanges possible.<br />
' By Nick Ffc.tnlinos<br />
Word has it that senior John Tuiasosopo Is going to replace Mr.<br />
T on the television show "A-Team." John is currently testing different<br />
hair designs to find that just right "totsh look." When asked<br />
about his rcftexincnt, Mr. T -aid. "I didn't think they could find<br />
a tougher guy." Speaking of tough, have any of you lasted the hamburgers<br />
in the bcancry lately?<br />
Mr. Thomas* hair has grown back just in time for track<br />
»uon...watch those bets. Mr. Thomas!<br />
Oh, by the way.Kerln Aden, do you recall this quote . "My heart's<br />
with the Niners. but my money's in the right place"? Your money<br />
is in the right place now. in Ihe hands of a true 49cr fan!<br />
Why was it so quiet in the courtyard the week before finals? Many<br />
of you probably didn't know thai freshman Sue Artemoff was out<br />
with the chicken pox that same week...strange coincidence, huh?<br />
What was it that caused such a mass of people togather near the<br />
main office on the afternoon of February V? Were they giving out<br />
free Prince tickets? No! Something better, free LEC bookcovers.<br />
1.500 bookcovers were given away in 30 minutes, a new school<br />
record. Speaking of records, plans are being made for the World's<br />
Largest Waterballoon Fight to be held on the football field sometime<br />
in May. <strong>The</strong>re U a chance thai <strong>Lowell</strong> might make it into the Guinness<br />
Book of World Records for the second time; yes. <strong>Lowell</strong> is currently<br />
holding the record for having the highest amount of trampled<br />
students (who forgot to stand up) during passing period.<br />
<strong>The</strong> <strong>class</strong>es have all come out with their new spring slogans:<br />
Class of '83 - "Often imitated but never duplicated."<br />
Class of '56 - "Spirit Week wu fixed!"<br />
Chut of '87 - "At bast we're not freshmen"<br />
Class of ,'88 - "We still can't find Ihe swi..iming pool!"<br />
On many as occasion girls cmer the boys' locker room lo use the<br />
vending machines. A group of sophomores are banding together lo<br />
light tM» unnecessary and immoral Invasion of privacy. But guys,<br />
please stop and consider what is more Important- if a girl sees you<br />
in your underwear,' or if a poor, hunger stricken thirst quenching<br />
female has to walk all ihe way to the tar reaches of the main campus.<br />
lo that combat zone known as ROTC. <strong>The</strong> fans support the girls;<br />
the hit] between Ihe locker room and the ROTC has, as pointed out<br />
by math teacher Robert McMalnl. an incline of 42 degrees and, if<br />
climbed will use, a* pointed out by science teacher Donald Murray,<br />
71 percent of the body's total energy potential. Why put such a strain<br />
like that on a poor gni't body? With Ihe convenbnee of the boys'<br />
locker room and with the adoed excitement to the glrli, medical student<br />
Robert Herrera hu found- that the increase in the bean rate<br />
prodoces greater circulation of blood to the brain thinly stimulating<br />
: the gfais to learn more. Aid to sum up this controversial Issue science<br />
teacber.Naocy Brewer says that you shouldn't be eating and drinking<br />
that garbage la the first place.-<br />
JSfciL. :"•'••-,• ''•/• - * • - '<br />
Teachers, students ...<br />
Who dresses worse?<br />
By Martlne TrtUun j<br />
•ttd BrtJj Merwnkh<br />
WL4 do <strong>Lowell</strong> students think of<br />
the way their teachers dress?<br />
Most commented that teachers<br />
dress "fine," but specific rcnuiks<br />
were leu than complimentary.<br />
• "Lowclltcachcudrcttvfry.vcry<br />
polymer," taid junior Robert<br />
Motels), "...but while 1 can stand<br />
polycucr, the combination of plaid<br />
and polyester b unbearable."<br />
Many <strong>Lowell</strong> students included<br />
"polyester" tod "plakl" in. their<br />
comments about <strong>Lowell</strong> faculty<br />
fashion. This gives cause for one to<br />
wonder, what did teachers »*ear<br />
before the Invention of polyester?<br />
Even freshmen have noticed the<br />
funkm trends of their teachers. Two<br />
S>f£li°S freshmen, who wish to remain<br />
anonymous on the grounds that<br />
it may incriminate them, noted that<br />
<strong>Lowell</strong> leacnen dress • "tacky and oldfaihioned."<br />
Many other students<br />
mentioned that faculty fashion tends<br />
to be "dated."<br />
Some students compUineo that<br />
their teachers* clothing affects their<br />
attention span. "<strong>The</strong> color combina*<br />
tions, like red and purple, ruins my<br />
concentration because it blinds me."<br />
c'aimed Moloui, "but at kast<br />
teachers don't wear neon."<br />
"I think most twhsr* dreu all<br />
right," said senior Nick Fiorcntinos,<br />
"except for tome of the ties, not to<br />
mentioa tames (is the Math Dcpartmeni)."<br />
Several allusions were made to<br />
loud ties by various math stivJents.<br />
Senior Pat Uikcrt commented.<br />
"Urge earrings, jiant pcatL, and<br />
clusters of blue stones irriute me (in<br />
<strong>class</strong>)."<br />
"I try to avoid ihtnkin,; akxit the<br />
way teacher* dreu. Bel bottoms<br />
tcare me." said sophomore Michael<br />
Pearson.<br />
Mury students agreed that male<br />
teachers, on the whole, dreu wone<br />
than female teachers do. As one<br />
anonymous junior put it. "If you ice<br />
a male teacher walking dow-n the<br />
street, vou know by the way hw tie,<br />
pants, and sports jacket* clash that<br />
man is a teacher. Female teachers do<br />
a better job of fining into society."<br />
While tome students criticized their<br />
teachers' mode of dress, others accepted<br />
it "1 love the way teachers<br />
dress." said one "A" student.<br />
"I think they dreu tike teachers<br />
ihould dress, as comfy as possible,"<br />
concluded junior Amy Cheung.<br />
A poll of <strong>Lowell</strong> students asked<br />
which department had the worst<br />
dressed faculty members. Con*<br />
jratulatiom go to the math department<br />
teachers, who received 54 percent<br />
of the votes. Condolences go to<br />
the Foreign Lvtfuace and Social<br />
Science Departments.<br />
Teacher comments aboui student<br />
dress were almost kSeukal with «tu-<br />
Whiie many comments were<br />
neutral, tome leachen were almost<br />
as *pcci!kally biting as the students<br />
were* lrVhcti teacher Anna lSicotat<br />
was approached with UK question of<br />
bow her student* uYeu. the barely<br />
For information<br />
regarding lessons<br />
and teacher train; -g<br />
Phone 469-1431<br />
STUDENTS<br />
stifled an explosion of laughter and<br />
ther replied. "I'm at a tutal lack of<br />
words to describe what I feel when<br />
one-half of my Italian <strong>class</strong> walks<br />
in."<br />
Ocits Rauchrran sarcastically asked.<br />
"What do you mean dress? I>*<br />
they try to k»k 'ike that?* <strong>The</strong>n h=<br />
added '.-m only sorry that I did not<br />
get involved with the cosmetic indusfy.<br />
It Kerns to be the big thing<br />
right now. I mistakenly thought that<br />
all of that make-up was the junior<br />
fcith look."<br />
Rauchman. now famous for complaining<br />
about the lack of heating in<br />
the temporary buildings where his<br />
clauet are. claimed that he has never<br />
been able to see w hat his students arc<br />
wearing since the students alwa* <<br />
have to wxar their heavy coau.<br />
Math teacher Robert McMains<br />
added. "A higher proportion of the<br />
students seem to dreu carefully, but<br />
that is according to what they feel is<br />
in style." However, in the same<br />
15<br />
FINALLY.<br />
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sentence he noted, "<strong>The</strong> current<br />
rumpled style la pit»y." He t'so<br />
ktatcd. "SMKofthe students mustn't<br />
took in the mirror in the morning.<br />
becMtse if they did. they would probably<br />
dreu differently."<br />
When asked which of her students<br />