Severely handicapped class arrives - The Lowell

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FEATURE
SCHOOLDAZE
By Erfc Fasti n*
A» we begm the new semester we must welcome home some (avorite
friends. I begin the welcomes by saying "Hello!" to none other than
one of our blond, blue-eyed Swedish Svrfcr brothers, Erik Noyes..
Yes, Freshmen, now you can finally experience Erik for real, not
through your monthly Thr lavtU. not Severutm .
Two other quick welcomes: Tina llorton has relume! from a
semester in Germany (apparently she left Maureen Con irvrc).
I must give an especially big "Hello!" lo everyone's favorite
substitute teacher for everything, Mr. Knox.. Mr. K is now. dum
do dum. a Permanent Tcachsr with five sections of Geography!
Freshmen Beware! By the way, docs anyone actually know Mr.
Koox's first nune? Does be have one?
Rumor hal h that the Too Tough To Handle CTBS Test will be
revised for next year. No, our lest U not going to ihe Kindergarteners
across the puking !oi, the test is being trashed. It seems a few loo
many students received the urpossible to reach 99 percent.
How terrible! No more Mr. Camacho. Mary Mead in Pago Pago,
or the reproductive cycles of the shrew? No more seeing "gravitate
:: earth," "3x4," or "herd"? Oh, please no. How cruel! Please,
Amiable A], do something, anything, to save our beloved CTBS!
Here, we'll offer you a compromise: you save the lest, and we'll keep
the halls clean. If this fails, maybe the LEC can sun a "Save the
CTBS Test!" campaign. At least somebody should do something: how
can we let Mr. Caaucbo dnwn7
Or. a sour note, the BSCS (Board for Scotch and Coors Service)
has ruled tint no club or organization may sell homemade ftuods. The
decision was made after Mrs. Hayes' A.P. World History Class
sold baked goodies (and they were very good goodie*). Pray tell, you
wise and serious BSCS leaders, why can clubs not sell homemade
baked goods? What do the advanced placement students do, sell their
talarfes In 25 years lime on the New York Futures Market? Do you
really think people such as Gordon Tans, Avrll Swan, Julie
YamsJcawa, and John Sloan (granted his cookies were mysterious),
arc going lo poison the student body? All these promising students
(they are promising 5's on Ihe A.P. test) want to do is go on field trips.
Although It may not seem possible, our wonderful (this is their appreciation
for the month) teachers know material which is not related
to their subjects. Therefore, a con'est has been devised lo reward
students for their knowledge and enable teachers to share incir extra
facts.
The Question is: What color b Puce?" (Question from English
teacher Mr. Peter Gain. •->. The prizes are: First Prize: A bellydance
lesson from Mrs. Lu.. "rondahl. Second Prize: \ bmk.
6:30am Saturday morning walk v.,~ 'r. Peter Gamble, Thinl Prize:
A tennis lesion from Miss Sandy Bird, i-ounh Priu: A cello lesson,
given in Russian, from Mrs. Nancy laves. Fifth Prize: A car tuneup
by Mr. Robert McMtlns. Son). no exchanges possible.
' By Nick Ffc.tnlinos
Word has it that senior John Tuiasosopo Is going to replace Mr.
T on the television show "A-Team." John is currently testing different
hair designs to find that just right "totsh look." When asked
about his rcftexincnt, Mr. T -aid. "I didn't think they could find
a tougher guy." Speaking of tough, have any of you lasted the hamburgers
in the bcancry lately?
Mr. Thomas* hair has grown back just in time for track
»uon...watch those bets. Mr. Thomas!
Oh, by the way.Kerln Aden, do you recall this quote . "My heart's
with the Niners. but my money's in the right place"? Your money
is in the right place now. in Ihe hands of a true 49cr fan!
Why was it so quiet in the courtyard the week before finals? Many
of you probably didn't know thai freshman Sue Artemoff was out
with the chicken pox that same week...strange coincidence, huh?
What was it that caused such a mass of people togather near the
main office on the afternoon of February V? Were they giving out
free Prince tickets? No! Something better, free LEC bookcovers.
1.500 bookcovers were given away in 30 minutes, a new school
record. Speaking of records, plans are being made for the World's
Largest Waterballoon Fight to be held on the football field sometime
in May. There U a chance thai Lowell might make it into the Guinness
Book of World Records for the second time; yes. Lowell is currently
holding the record for having the highest amount of trampled
students (who forgot to stand up) during passing period.
The classes have all come out with their new spring slogans:
Class of '83 - "Often imitated but never duplicated."
Class of '56 - "Spirit Week wu fixed!"
Chut of '87 - "At bast we're not freshmen"
Class of ,'88 - "We still can't find Ihe swi..iming pool!"
On many as occasion girls cmer the boys' locker room lo use the
vending machines. A group of sophomores are banding together lo
light tM» unnecessary and immoral Invasion of privacy. But guys,
please stop and consider what is more Important- if a girl sees you
in your underwear,' or if a poor, hunger stricken thirst quenching
female has to walk all ihe way to the tar reaches of the main campus.
lo that combat zone known as ROTC. The fans support the girls;
the hit] between Ihe locker room and the ROTC has, as pointed out
by math teacher Robert McMalnl. an incline of 42 degrees and, if
climbed will use, a* pointed out by science teacher Donald Murray,
71 percent of the body's total energy potential. Why put such a strain
like that on a poor gni't body? With Ihe convenbnee of the boys'
locker room and with the adoed excitement to the glrli, medical student
Robert Herrera hu found- that the increase in the bean rate
prodoces greater circulation of blood to the brain thinly stimulating
: the gfais to learn more. Aid to sum up this controversial Issue science
teacber.Naocy Brewer says that you shouldn't be eating and drinking
that garbage la the first place.-
JSfciL. :"•'••-,• ''•/• - * • - '
Teachers, students ...
Who dresses worse?
By Martlne TrtUun j
•ttd BrtJj Merwnkh
WL4 do Lowell students think of
the way their teachers dress?
Most commented that teachers
dress "fine," but specific rcnuiks
were leu than complimentary.
• "Lowclltcachcudrcttvfry.vcry
polymer," taid junior Robert
Motels), "...but while 1 can stand
polycucr, the combination of plaid
and polyester b unbearable."
Many Lowell students included
"polyester" tod "plakl" in. their
comments about Lowell faculty
fashion. This gives cause for one to
wonder, what did teachers »*ear
before the Invention of polyester?
Even freshmen have noticed the
funkm trends of their teachers. Two
S>f£li°S freshmen, who wish to remain
anonymous on the grounds that
it may incriminate them, noted that
Lowell leacnen dress • "tacky and oldfaihioned."
Many other students
mentioned that faculty fashion tends
to be "dated."
Some students compUineo that
their teachers* clothing affects their
attention span. "The color combina*
tions, like red and purple, ruins my
concentration because it blinds me."
c'aimed Moloui, "but at kast
teachers don't wear neon."
"I think most twhsr* dreu all
right," said senior Nick Fiorcntinos,
"except for tome of the ties, not to
mentioa tames (is the Math Dcpartmeni)."
Several allusions were made to
loud ties by various math stivJents.
Senior Pat Uikcrt commented.
"Urge earrings, jiant pcatL, and
clusters of blue stones irriute me (in
class)."
"I try to avoid ihtnkin,; akxit the
way teacher* dreu. Bel bottoms
tcare me." said sophomore Michael
Pearson.
Mury students agreed that male
teachers, on the whole, dreu wone
than female teachers do. As one
anonymous junior put it. "If you ice
a male teacher walking dow-n the
street, vou know by the way hw tie,
pants, and sports jacket* clash that
man is a teacher. Female teachers do
a better job of fining into society."
While tome students criticized their
teachers' mode of dress, others accepted
it "1 love the way teachers
dress." said one "A" student.
"I think they dreu tike teachers
ihould dress, as comfy as possible,"
concluded junior Amy Cheung.
A poll of Lowell students asked
which department had the worst
dressed faculty members. Con*
jratulatiom go to the math department
teachers, who received 54 percent
of the votes. Condolences go to
the Foreign Lvtfuace and Social
Science Departments.
Teacher comments aboui student
dress were almost kSeukal with «tu-
Whiie many comments were
neutral, tome leachen were almost
as *pcci!kally biting as the students
were* lrVhcti teacher Anna lSicotat
was approached with UK question of
bow her student* uYeu. the barely
For information
regarding lessons
and teacher train; -g
Phone 469-1431
STUDENTS
stifled an explosion of laughter and
ther replied. "I'm at a tutal lack of
words to describe what I feel when
one-half of my Italian class walks
in."
Ocits Rauchrran sarcastically asked.
"What do you mean dress? I>*
they try to k»k 'ike that?* Then h=
added '.-m only sorry that I did not
get involved with the cosmetic indusfy.
It Kerns to be the big thing
right now. I mistakenly thought that
all of that make-up was the junior
fcith look."
Rauchman. now famous for complaining
about the lack of heating in
the temporary buildings where his
clauet are. claimed that he has never
been able to see w hat his students arc
wearing since the students alwa* <
have to wxar their heavy coau.
Math teacher Robert McMains
added. "A higher proportion of the
students seem to dreu carefully, but
that is according to what they feel is
in style." However, in the same
15
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sentence he noted, "The current
rumpled style la pit»y." He t'so
ktatcd. "SMKofthe students mustn't
took in the mirror in the morning.
becMtse if they did. they would probably
dreu differently."
When asked which of her students