Severely handicapped class arrives - The Lowell

a*c pfi
^/(Wo (oiuL Asua,
|s there popularity
after high school?
• ~Bjr Timmr Karpenko and Denis Jones
„• In high school they wee popular. In high school
Kcwyuuc knew their narog. In high school no one tud
ja parry without ccuuiting them fint. They're not in
dth ichopl 'jrj'inbi?.
^She IBM to be B»rt»= Komecomingqueen and he usgcd
to be Ken Vmityquaitertndc but now they are Bar-
U l Ken Nobcdy. They're namelcu. facelew
i In an undergraduate college.
: and Ken. though, are not alone in their
1 sate. Thousands of similar individuals acrow
try are experiencing this same late. What could
„JSany former high school senion have done to lose
?io ouch? What was their fatal mistake?
r ".They applied to college.
Sit h difficult for them, perhaps even impossible, to
^comprehend leaving all their friends behind, but it ts
F» bet thai every coUege-bouti senior must accept.
'Bow can you avoid spending your freshmsa year in
g£ dtrk-jeduded corner of the library? Read on fellow
• md on. . '- - •
V
it is not that difficult to nuke a good first impression
ir you can keep five simple rules in mind.
1. Befotc entering a mom occupied by sophomores,
juniors and (especially) seniors, check your hair,
breath, and. for females, your eyeliner «o as not to be
confused with a raccoon. Also be sure that all articles
of clothing are securely fastened to avoiJ the public
dUp'ay of any undergarments and to protect against
uncomfortable breezes.
2. Upon entering a room, smile pleasantly and avoid
any objects you might trip over (or which might be
thrown at you). V JU should always have on hand three
conversation sinner*.
Examples: A. "How about them Bears?" (replace
school team) B. "Was that a tough, History/
Ca'culus/Frcnch test today or what7" C, "What do
you think is really in the Monday night chefs surprise?"
3. Avoid being overly enthusiastic or excited.
Example. "Hi, everyone! My name Is Patty! I'm
soooooo excited to be here. (Checrleading jump into
splits and scream.) When arc cheerleading tryouts?
(Shake pempotra.) Whcn's rush week? (Giggle,
squeal, shiick.)"
Solution: "Good ihftemoon. (deep breath of air)
I'm Felicia. Could you instruct me in my search for
the women's powder room. (Long sensuous drag of
Virginia Slim.) Thank you everso."
4. Never, under an? circumstances ask an uppcrclassman:
A. "Where U the bathroom?"
B. "Could you possibly set me up with your boyfriend/
girlfriend?" C. "Don't you think Leif Garret/Melissa
Gilbert is just the grooviest?"
5. Upon exiting i room, keep smiling, keep shin*
ing, and remember, if you have made an absolute fool
of yourself, you can always apply cbewhere ncxl year.
So don't despair, your freshman year need not be
spent in the confines of the campus litwy. And who
knows, you mig* even fool people into A Wang you're
a sophomore.
!h- Lnm>.\,
f
PROFILES
Seniors find cost
of living too high
By Betsy Merzeakh
They say 'hat being a high school senior it a btccxe.
but they never mention how expensive air can tc.
The senior ''car of one's high school career is a very
financially unsound one. Of course, seniors are luppo5cd
to be done with school by mod 10. and ought
to have plenty of spore time lo get employed and get
rich, but it never scents to work out quite thai **y.
Senior portraits — whai w great idea! The clever person
who thought this idea up b one rich guy right now.
Let's buy ONE 'hid, take pictures of a lot of people
[•I it, pats around the word tnai giving out pictures of
yourself is i cool thing to do before ) ou graduate, and
charge big bucbL for them.
The smullest Yearbook Associate* picture package
costs around 550. that's half of a hundred dolUis worth
of pictures of YOU (and you don't even get a com*
plcmentary little Mack comb). And that package gives
you nine wallet size pictures. Who has only nine
friends?
T!tc extra wallets are a steal at SS each (this price
i» wii!wut the infamous Florentine Finish which makes
the pictures just blurry enough so that you cannot; see
the sUn blemishes). One nay also purchase a 16x20
vail-size portrait for the low price of $79.95 (or. for
the same price, you may have a professional tnist
COME TO YOUR HOME and pal.* a poruait of you)
Senior Panoramic Picture fiives an opportunity to
fork over S10 for a big picture of a bunch of procle,
most of whom you don't even know. But hey. one of
thine smiling: people (the one with his cjc. closed?)
it you.
How about JOSTENS? Aren't rmmonolics outlaw*
ctl in this country? Didn't large ituncMiKtc rings go out
of Mylc Mmitwh-sre around filth grade? Aren't high
school senion offended at the catalog of precious gifts
which this company tries to entice them with?
How about that Miniature Diploma? Boy. wouldn't
tlv.t Ionic nice on a college Jorm wall fur only 53.50?
Thee is Mime brilliant fcrwn. working for JoMcn*
who figured out a way to nakc senior* mink that git •
ing out small *vhitc buVincjA cards lo all of their friends
Ls a neat thing to dt>. Think about it. So ynu have a
collection of 75 card* witli your friends* names primal
on the fiont: what are VOJ going to do with them? Oh,
that's right, their addrrstes, phone numbers, and c^l*
!egcs are printed on the back. If you didn't know this
information in die fim pbec, why do you need it now?
But JostcnN best tricl ts the way they rutndlc the cap
and gown purchases. Seniors order them without
knowing the price. It w 11 be announced at a later date.
A week before graduation, thU company could charge
$100 for these satin sacl a. Who would complain? Does
anyone want to be the ONLY person at grac&ation not
wearing a cap and gown? And what about these JUM-
BO tassels nnyway — U anybody really going to wear
one of those horses* tails at the actual graduation
ceremony itself?
During senior year, * social life is quite expensive
also. Of course, one must go out to lunch everyday
to maintain m laid-back image. When Mom and Dad
used to pay for you' sustenance, ti never seemed quite
so expensive. Friday and Saturday nights at home are
obviously a social no-no, and. unfc>nunatcly, nothing's
free in the big city. As a nutter of fact, seniors arc
expected to go out on school nights also, to keep up
their "What me. work?" image. All this ad-ti up to
big money in small time.
There are quite a few requisite dances in the senior
year. Senior Boat Dance (this on* * jsts Mccp, too) plus
Winter Ball plus Scrior From add UD to three overrated
nights of big spending.
Probably the most surprising COM is the traditional
Senior Picnic. When you think of n picnic, don't you
think of t bunch of people getting together for a nice
CHEAP afternoon of sun and frisbee? All yru need
is a towel ind sotne food, right? No. rumor is. the
Senior Picnic costs 515.00 this year. Must be servinv.
T'Bone Steaks and champagne, ch?
Lou of students take AP tests senior year. Arc they
»»lly paying $50 to take a TEST? Whit's wrong with
this picture?
However, while senior year may be expensive, all
there is to lock forward to W next year, wlicn even
books and scboo 1 cost money.