Severely handicapped class arrives - The Lowell

. TV //mli'. Dtrrmitr 6. I9SS
FEATURE
SCHOOL DAZE
sT.not Pierre-Guy While has been adding to the "senior mysti-
H e" by sneaking salcd drcui:.g container* from the cafeteria. Spotu.d
drinking frotn one of the bottles. White explained, "It's for my
throat!" Oh, that explains it all!... No, the bright glow emanating
from (he Polo Fields h GciJcn Gate Park *v-* not coming front an
alien xpaccshrp landLig on Earth. Rather, it came from t!»c legs of
the members of the boys* varsity cross country team, wearing neon
yellow glow socks, a tradition started by the squzd last year. You
car. understand why 'JK salesman at Oil Me Ma looked puttied when
hb supply of UigU footwear was depleted by the Lowell team....
Sophofiinrc Sbdla Shea cculd not figure out where the strong odor
of mint was coming front .-xcntly as she was wending her way through
the crowded halls. Was limb on the cafeteria menu? Wac Wrisley's
becoming popular again? She turned around awl discovered that the
hca"y fngrance was coining from none other than that glow-in-thrdark
freshrnn wit?* the bright green ruirv.. .Sunglasses in style for
winter? Trxy are for 6 fee', b inch vanity footballer Max Brcal who
acquit tuo bbek eyes in recent tussles on the gridiron—Politically
active Kent Uyefakra recently stated that he is in favor of capital
punishment, but that he opposes the death pe salty. S;.oVcn like a true
politician!...Seniors acting like little kids? Oh. be v.*r:3us! Wet!,
decide for yourself. When Lee Ann TorUksru M^ nui ill. her
substitute called for Dean James Thomas because sorr - x>. had taken
a test frotr *hc AP English class. Thomas hod t» "fr:** * the entire
cltss, and *hrcc mubchaving students were made to • t in a comer,
facing the wt'J. Can you believe it? Facing the watt! Tsk.
tskt... .Federal Express w in need of n new spokespenen and has
contacted senior Janet Bui. Her friends ssy that she can speak faster
thrji Ibc actor who does the commcricals on TV 1 he tables were
turned vn fre&hnan Moniquc Lee anu sophomore Frier O*f in their
French class. Before teacher Bruno MortUi came into the classroom,
they hid under his desk and in the speaker's podium as a joke. Pretty
clever joke, huh? Morclli immediately sensed what was ;t o ' n S °n and
positioned himself in such a way that neither student could get out
its he spoke with the das*. Lee was last sern crawling back to her
lesk on her hands and knee*, reportedly trying to think of new and
creative w»ys to be obnovotu Senior Brajamb* Brngalon hzs
always wanted to set a rccurd in physics. He has. *Ac fas been taruy
to class more often than ar.y other student!... Senior Chris Criscrn
ana his chums Dylan Putter, Todd Harrtvur. and Pal Mngee are
still ;rying 10 figure out how sophomore SLothannah Oppcnheim
acquired sets of their undcrweai. But there wx: Shoshannah. pinning
up Tow pair* of lire 6X briefs o*t ihr Sciuor Bulletin Boori. Tlie short*
belong *> the four studs. Hmmm. Interesting!
Speaking of names in the newspaper, could there be any
con (Kit km between the fact (hat juniors Ed Cheng and Bella Funs
are good friends, and Ed was quoted three limes in articles on the
from page of the last issue, nml Bella is a reovirter for The UmtlH
Probably no*.... With the Univcniiy of California adding new rzquircnenu
fcr admission 'o the sutc syyem. it is anticipated thai in
the near future high school students will be required lo take OUFM:>
in galactic history, miclnr physics, quantum theory, jjmpn Jem.*,
and nenrosurgery. UC recommends that sitxienfc. .vho find this list
of entrance requirements too stift* should apply cart> to Hcald College
or check with their local Army recruiter A group of juniors
who hung out in the "Unquiet Zone" (1m/floor. Room 246), bored
with their Chemistry and CF5 clusc*. were viewed measuring the
distance from their noses to the tips or their toes with a tape measure.
Quick, sotftcbody put a patent on this! What a great new way to pess
the time!.. .Zulu Screeni. first introduced in this column in October,
gavv their first performance J* Lowell in JoAnrt Stewart's junior
English honors class. 'Hie trio \3o > Travis, David K&unclson. and
Eric Goldberg) rsptivated the doi with its interpretation of
Shakespeare's Mttcbt'.h a la AC/DC. The three ranted and raved the ir
way through the witches' scrnc, chanting "Double, double, toil and
trouble" to the majestic background sounds en "Highway to Hell."
The c*«ss loved fl, but Miss Stewart cotranented that ShaVespeare Kuist
be turning in his grave As brave as seniors Robert MolossJ, Ddrdre
Atklnsoa, and RoUnda Chu were, their efiorts did not pay off.
Wher the Forensics Tom members were heading to the University
of the Pacific for a tournament, scnio- Andrew Leo's backpack f.cw
off the top of the station wagon ci Highway 280. The three daring
freeway stroller tried in vain to recover it, dodging traffic on the
busy freeway, yet Andrew's •uttered pack b rtUl out there somewhere.
A reward is being offered .or Andrew's favorite pnjamas, which haw
Si eat seuimental value, and vcrc last seen blowing acrou the
freeway... .When junior Molly BoJer accepted a ride home in scn'or
Max Brtal's car. httk did «Ite know what site was in for. The scat
bell froze clos:d, knd Molly could not get out. Fortunately for Mol
ly. sophomo'e Xlm Robinson saw wh.it was happening, hunted dowr.
a knife, trvl cut Mrfly free. Molly reportedly sighed heavily, turned
rcscntfiJr> toKirr, a.id asked. "Can't you mind your own business?*'
Sorry.. Motty. Max, did you plan it mis wayj
Kenneth Cole*
For the Most Complete Collection
o" Holiday Boots and Shoes
2078 Union Soert 346-2161
Made Sontntom in Italy
A Survivil Guide for the Grown-up In the Clinroom
Peterson writes
about teaching
By Shcrri Rig
Do you want to become * teacher?
Can you deal with thr principal? Kow
about thoie dreadful faculty meetings?
Car you survive them?
Titcist and nuny ether quctfton* aa
aAed in English teacher Arthur
Petcnon's recently published book.
Teachers — A Sunimt GuUit For
The Grtrmrutp in the Classroom. Thb
satirical book written about teachers
contains everything from a first-year
teacher's manual to "how-u*-teach
without trying" tips.
Nev* American Library, the publishing
company, originated the idea
of writing a book about lexrhcrv
Alter Scaiir; about the idea. Peterson
submitted severs! prupuuls conmting
of section* which he felt
should be included in the nook. New
Americai. Ubrai) chow Petcnon to
write the bunk rrcuue he wat ahte
lo achieve a :ooe that they wanud.
"The rt*34W I could be funny in the
book was tha* 1 wa\ kiid of angry."
confessed Pelerson.
"I've always fell that lejcners nave
been treated as sccond-cla\i cituxm.
When they go to a party, it's lilt,
they're *eird. Nobody knows quite
what to *ay to thmv" he continued
He added. "If you warj id write
satirically, it helps if it u on u.mething
you care about. I couldn't do
(his on another subject "
Bwically, Pelcnon collected hit iv
formation from hu many years of
leaching experience.
"I've lx," my eye* open." uid
Peterson.
The uu lent* in Prtrnon'? cl^ucs
contnbutt d vxnc x thai writing Is fun.
When Peterson isn't writing, he is
teaching the tricks of the trade to his
studenu. He feels bcin; a teacher is
a better job ihm bring a writer because
"... bci-ij a writer u lonely
work."
Bcsfctet. nxorduig to Peterson.
"... •caching writing is satitfyiog."
"If you can leach it (writing).
Mudcntf think of it as a pneucj skill
they are Uanaing. Many sutjecu thtt
uc taught in school cause s-odentk
often ask thcrradvei why ihey're
learning thb