Severely handicapped class arrives - The Lowell
Severely handicapped class arrives - The Lowell
Severely handicapped class arrives - The Lowell
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. TV //mli'. Dtrrmitr 6. I9SS<br />
FEATURE<br />
SCHOOL DAZE<br />
sT.not Pierre-Guy While has been adding to the "senior mysti-<br />
H e" by sneaking salcd drcui:.g container* from the cafeteria. Spotu.d<br />
drinking frotn one of the bottles. White explained, "It's for my<br />
throat!" Oh, that explains it all!... No, the bright glow emanating<br />
from (he Polo Fields h GciJcn Gate Park *v-* not coming front an<br />
alien xpaccshrp landLig on Earth. Rather, it came from t!»c legs of<br />
the members of the boys* varsity cross country team, wearing neon<br />
yellow glow socks, a tradition started by the squzd last year. You<br />
car. understand why 'JK salesman at Oil Me Ma looked puttied when<br />
hb supply of UigU footwear was depleted by the <strong>Lowell</strong> team....<br />
Sophofiinrc Sbdla Shea cculd not figure out where the strong odor<br />
of mint was coming front .-xcntly as she was wending her way through<br />
the crowded halls. Was limb on the cafeteria menu? Wac Wrisley's<br />
becoming popular again? She turned around awl discovered that the<br />
hca"y fngrance was coining from none other than that glow-in-thrdark<br />
freshrnn wit?* the bright green ruirv.. .Sunglasses in style for<br />
winter? Trxy are for 6 fee', b inch vanity footballer Max Brcal who<br />
acquit tuo bbek eyes in recent tussles on the gridiron—Politically<br />
active Kent Uyefakra recently stated that he is in favor of capital<br />
punishment, but that he opposes the death pe salty. S;.oVcn like a true<br />
politician!...Seniors acting like little kids? Oh. be v.*r:3us! Wet!,<br />
decide for yourself. When Lee Ann TorUksru M^ nui ill. her<br />
substitute called for Dean James Thomas because sorr - x>. had taken<br />
a test frotr *hc AP English <strong>class</strong>. Thomas hod t» "fr:** * the entire<br />
cltss, and *hrcc mubchaving students were made to • t in a comer,<br />
facing the wt'J. Can you believe it? Facing the watt! Tsk.<br />
tskt... .Federal Express w in need of n new spokespenen and has<br />
contacted senior Janet Bui. Her friends ssy that she can speak faster<br />
thrji Ibc actor who does the commcricals on TV 1 he tables were<br />
turned vn fre&hnan Moniquc Lee anu sophomore Frier O*f in their<br />
French <strong>class</strong>. Before teacher Bruno MortUi came into the <strong>class</strong>room,<br />
they hid under his desk and in the speaker's podium as a joke. Pretty<br />
clever joke, huh? Morclli immediately sensed what was ;t o ' n S °n and<br />
positioned himself in such a way that neither student could get out<br />
its he spoke with the das*. Lee was last sern crawling back to her<br />
lesk on her hands and knee*, reportedly trying to think of new and<br />
creative w»ys to be obnovotu Senior Brajamb* Brngalon hzs<br />
always wanted to set a rccurd in physics. He has. *Ac fas been taruy<br />
to <strong>class</strong> more often than ar.y other student!... Senior Chris Criscrn<br />
ana his chums Dylan Putter, Todd Harrtvur. and Pal Mngee are<br />
still ;rying 10 figure out how sophomore SLothannah Oppcnheim<br />
acquired sets of their undcrweai. But there wx: Shoshannah. pinning<br />
up Tow pair* of lire 6X briefs o*t ihr Sciuor Bulletin Boori. Tlie short*<br />
belong *> the four studs. Hmmm. Interesting!<br />
Speaking of names in the newspaper, could there be any<br />
con (Kit km between the fact (hat juniors Ed Cheng and Bella Funs<br />
are good friends, and Ed was quoted three limes in articles on the<br />
from page of the last issue, nml Bella is a reovirter for <strong>The</strong> UmtlH<br />
Probably no*.... With the Univcniiy of California adding new rzquircnenu<br />
fcr admission 'o the sutc syyem. it is anticipated thai in<br />
the near future high school students will be required lo take OUFM:><br />
in galactic history, miclnr physics, quantum theory, jjmpn Jem.*,<br />
and nenrosurgery. UC recommends that sitxienfc. .vho find this list<br />
of entrance requirements too stift* should apply cart> to Hcald College<br />
or check with their local Army recruiter A group of juniors<br />
who hung out in the "Unquiet Zone" (1m/floor. Room 246), bored<br />
with their Chemistry and CF5 clusc*. were viewed measuring the<br />
distance from their noses to the tips or their toes with a tape measure.<br />
Quick, sotftcbody put a patent on this! What a great new way to pess<br />
the time!.. .Zulu Screeni. first introduced in this column in October,<br />
gavv their first performance J* <strong>Lowell</strong> in JoAnrt Stewart's junior<br />
English honors <strong>class</strong>. 'Hie trio \3o > Travis, David K&unclson. and<br />
Eric Goldberg) rsptivated the doi with its interpretation of<br />
Shakespeare's Mttcbt'.h a la AC/DC. <strong>The</strong> three ranted and raved the ir<br />
way through the witches' scrnc, chanting "Double, double, toil and<br />
trouble" to the majestic background sounds en "Highway to Hell."<br />
<strong>The</strong> c*«ss loved fl, but Miss Stewart cotranented that ShaVespeare Kuist<br />
be turning in his grave As brave as seniors Robert MolossJ, Ddrdre<br />
Atklnsoa, and RoUnda Chu were, their efiorts did not pay off.<br />
Wher the Forensics Tom members were heading to the University<br />
of the Pacific for a tournament, scnio- Andrew Leo's backpack f.cw<br />
off the top of the station wagon ci Highway 280. <strong>The</strong> three daring<br />
freeway stroller tried in vain to recover it, dodging traffic on the<br />
busy freeway, yet Andrew's •uttered pack b rtUl out there somewhere.<br />
A reward is being offered .or Andrew's favorite pnjamas, which haw<br />
Si eat seuimental value, and vcrc last seen blowing acrou the<br />
freeway... .When junior Molly BoJer accepted a ride home in scn'or<br />
Max Brtal's car. httk did «Ite know what site was in for. <strong>The</strong> scat<br />
bell froze clos:d, knd Molly could not get out. Fortunately for Mol<br />
ly. sophomo'e Xlm Robinson saw wh.it was happening, hunted dowr.<br />
a knife, trvl cut Mrfly free. Molly reportedly sighed heavily, turned<br />
rcscntfiJr> toKirr, a.id asked. "Can't you mind your own business?*'<br />
Sorry.. Motty. Max, did you plan it mis wayj<br />
Kenneth Cole*<br />
For the Most Complete Collection<br />
o" Holiday Boots and Shoes<br />
2078 Union Soert 346-2161<br />
Made Sontntom in Italy<br />
A Survivil Guide for the Grown-up In the Clinroom<br />
Peterson writes<br />
about teaching<br />
By Shcrri Rig<br />
Do you want to become * teacher?<br />
Can you deal with thr principal? Kow<br />
about thoie dreadful faculty meetings?<br />
Car you survive them?<br />
Titcist and nuny ether quctfton* aa<br />
aAed in English teacher Arthur<br />
Petcnon's recently published book.<br />
Teachers — A Sunimt GuUit For<br />
<strong>The</strong> Grtrmrutp in the Classroom. Thb<br />
satirical book written about teachers<br />
contains everything from a first-year<br />
teacher's manual to "how-u*-teach<br />
without trying" tips.<br />
Nev* American Library, the publishing<br />
company, originated the idea<br />
of writing a book about lexrhcrv<br />
Alter Scaiir; about the idea. Peterson<br />
submitted severs! prupuuls conmting<br />
of section* which he felt<br />
should be included in the nook. New<br />
Americai. Ubrai) chow Petcnon to<br />
write the bunk rrcuue he wat ahte<br />
lo achieve a :ooe that they wanud.<br />
"<strong>The</strong> rt*34W I could be funny in the<br />
book was tha* 1 wa\ kiid of angry."<br />
confessed Pelerson.<br />
"I've always fell that lejcners nave<br />
been treated as sccond-cla\i cituxm.<br />
When they go to a party, it's lilt,<br />
they're *eird. Nobody knows quite<br />
what to *ay to thmv" he continued<br />
He added. "If you warj id write<br />
satirically, it helps if it u on u.mething<br />
you care about. I couldn't do<br />
(his on another subject "<br />
Bwically, Pelcnon collected hit iv<br />
formation from hu many years of<br />
leaching experience.<br />
"I've lx," my eye* open." uid<br />
Peterson.<br />
<strong>The</strong> uu lent* in Prtrnon'? cl^ucs<br />
contnbutt d vxnc x thai writing Is fun.<br />
When Peterson isn't writing, he is<br />
teaching the tricks of the trade to his<br />
studenu. He feels bcin; a teacher is<br />
a better job ihm bring a writer because<br />
"... bci-ij a writer u lonely<br />
work."<br />
Bcsfctet. nxorduig to Peterson.<br />
"... •caching writing is satitfyiog."<br />
"If you can leach it (writing).<br />
Mudcntf think of it as a pneucj skill<br />
they are Uanaing. Many sutjecu thtt<br />
uc taught in school cause s-odentk<br />
often ask thcrradvei why ihey're<br />
learning thb