Severely handicapped class arrives - The Lowell

JVf 12. IV /£«->«. Nmrmlrr I. 19SS
FEATURE,
SANDRA GOLDBERG
. (415) 7314500
LEAVE MESSAGE
St. Francis Travel Agency
M Wttl PortJi Avww* • SMI Ffircltco. CA 94177
LOWEST AIR FARES
THE ADVENTURES OF
By PMO Kabunnc
(a.k.a. Frk Far'jIO
No. I did not think up this pseudonym.
Alter all. do you really think
v.nuld name mysdiaflcr a cologne'*
Anyways, it is obv inus the school
car has started' ttudeni* are ratcil
fct IV weekend*. ••How could this
> g
n. each nvxl Cult be an hour tool out of himself amongst his
Uxip. clas
anvthinp: flunk lest, don't write on
Ihe bathnxim A.*. *. hit a teacher, eat
the cafeteria food. Anything different!
We nevd a return to the past.
Seniors remember, altwg -vith the
die-in, when Marcia Brady ran for
student government office, disco
(Vuck! Puke! Blech! Barf') was given
one *ong at the di.KCv (Sol thil we
ni»i Ihiv), and bird* didn't tclictc
iSemveKe* on Ihe brec/ewav ot on
t.Utlcnt*' UtKuiilCfx* Ilu; VHliC 0>inj-.
tuven*. rturped tn four vearv Mr.
Lrrw Fohuvh *4ill ICJCHCS about sot
ccr and cabbage growing in Dal;
Cu> - Mrs. Fk»*.\ic U»i\ Mill ki'-vrv
cute freshman r*»)v Morels or. tables.
and equates poetry v^itii iVicd *
i| mw»» .'dmit that I \tii| don't undcr-
Full. r Mill thinks trees are phasic
svmholv. A,\ Mr. No;nun Duricui
Mill «>•.. "HiMury repeat* H*clf "
Rumer >it\ it that stuJcn' $• veinntent
iv un the verge *»r vt*'un-.c.
Cou'd tin* be the end of Low el! aeronymv'
Oh r*ej*cnV No m*»rc LKC
jnd DCO and SAtl ^-vj IHl>> and
CTBS and SAT ami PSA P Hul
\ych fun makmc t'rc^lmien tlgurc
BSCS and CLUB and ACi! and CSF
and NHS. Thcrcfi«re. ait uudent.* -rr
commanded to prcwuie Mu.kn< yov
ernment to vtav afloat A> we can OKI
IUHI ,onur::.g the hREE&H. Altc
nil. ^ic^'.c C''t U» he worth
* a bird .. A queuion has been circui.
no it** a plane . . no. it** • • • it"* around that Shield at-tl Scroll
iiKmbcrs' luis hav: all b«i" d^pto
fly during ihe Spirit week rally' peared. Jojuu* di>! No men: tnancc pubevrcnt male and grey i^iead of caidinal aixl
youths! Having trouble* adjusting to sjxn*! It's .INXJI time we go* rid of
your newfound manhood? Particular- ihking like a fcst Uxxl coot ?
ihivinx? Well, senior Gliia Cambrr Howeer. we lor^ot the "but." There
can help. She understands the wars is one member of the IXIMT society's
ind blood-rum, ind pain involved tn upciout livt who pci»iiu in w.-ar-
thawing a xit in tulf. Site Kx« been inj tlul putrid >ytrbS of vtatcIir.As.
heard expreuing sorrow m-cr the LEC CruirmaP {person, arlroiu.
pttiMum, Be iure to aUt her Jbr Wp. whatever) A*lv Laitrrncr .imductv
The ni**K'ichedulc ha* finally «•• government business under the
rived! HSStm. a U tliyhtly difTcm weight of the poi*. *tcr. Bui then
from the tratftiorttl *A code' we so again are vx to *•' *n« him for wcs.dearly
mtu". The idvanufes of thU inp the hat? M:; tfac he's juu jockey •
new time keeper mod 1 thai! start at • ing for position 41 Bu.-ycr King.
r The letter was read the next Jay in bothrvom. He thouR^*
the »mokc-filled room of the p«int arouxi him Lo and he'foid.
mernben of the SUSA board. there ii tlai very bathroom wu » per*
•on with a tprsy can of paint in his
"Htntnm.. .Coyw th'•^^ ?rt real* hand.
ly u-ant t"-.is fellow in our ever-so- "I wender what the painitrs are
pfcstlgtou* club?" questioned uV; doma at tha time of day?" though!
SUSA President in lib gratT, C.CT-WJ- FeiU. He diin't seem to be paiaung.
prcstif ictis voice.
After all. he wasn't wearing -hole
cuu whi*r painter pauiti.
"Tliis fine young nun is jusl Vie ''Howdy, kid." tail the painters
»i the, modular clem=rt we want 10 attract W €
jmart; he lUiened to Radio Lowell. burgundy leather-covered table,
He decided lode sometluajt about it. beneath the smoke cf the DunhiU
"Go Cool or Bust" was Felix's ci(an. the SU55A board memben
new mono. He figured he could ac- were all wearinf iht>ai
complish this in one of four way*.
One—he cuuM wear vungluse* on Felix shifted uncomfortably.
r*ioy days or in li>e halls. Two—he "Perhaps I ani too fomully dress-
couU use hii October fast puu Tor the ed." hi dxtighi u himself.
month of November and beat the "Step right in. Felix my bey. we
system. TJirce—he could LCII Blow- were jest talking about you. Have a
IH>ps. or Four—be could write stupid cigifT*
articles for the ncw*pjper tnd rail
himself Biff.
Felix ckct(*ed on the first plan of
action. Behind his dark gLsses he felt
like a ruthless, fighting machine. A
terrible, ruthless, fighting mxhine.
Sort of like La.siie.
FHU vowed itui thu yc*j he "*' ^U
do all the crary things he had been
afraid tn do as a freshman. Things
like iintO(( right ^mack in the mtdd';
of UK hallway during passing periods
anJ signir j hb name ten times ca *hc
inside of the book co^cf. He w-as a
man; he »v no: afrakl.
Felix alw cccidcd in try selling
n^jw-pops. The problem «s thai
Blcw-Peps wxte SOIL 1 "Oh. no...no ..ihankyou."
"A Blow.poft. peitup*?"
"Oh, )C3. iliat would be nice."
rVlu v« do-Anat tlk. *«b!r He held
ot'l a foljer lo the president. "My
resume." he «j''*incd.
"I sec..." uid the president with
a faint vjiic at his lips. "Hmmm... it
indicate* here >ou Hmiked
p.n...rK*l j;txxJ. not gcod. B
by SUS\. the
prestigious Student 1'iiJon for
SchoUstiC Achievement. Fcli> knew
that lie had to improve his GPA lo
join this cscr-uvprcslisious club
since nc had flunked freshman F.E.
He decided thai if tie wanta< to sell
BIow-Pops be had to join thil club.
and tie had to do it nghi He wrote
a tetter and submiitrd 1: to the Ptesident
of SUSA.
Dear Sir.
I am a hard-working
studkxa sophomore interested
in becoming * member of
SUSA. What procedure should
I follow for membership?
Your* Truly
Felix
( vuur name?"
"Oh...me?..it's Felix..."
"Felix, eh?" With thai he sprayed
FCliKS in big bbek leacri over the
bathnorn mirrors-
••CouW you just hoU niy jpray can
for a minute, 1 have to go eteck on
something. Be rigbl bade!" The
painter daw tiK ptin to Fclii and
sped out.
Felix looked at the spray con in his
haul. "Gee, I hope he conxs back
suofi..." Then he looks! U the mirror
and ociiced hi* namr xissptlled-
"Oh. my. my name Is inUspc&d.
I rmm fix it!" cried Felu. lust as he
*as sprayrcg A big X onto the mirror,
who should appear but Hodges
and Tuiasosopo. tlic Crockett and
Tubbi of Lowell High.
"So, this is the wise guy »i»'s
been writing all over the school,
liuh?" Tuiasosopo said, raisiog hw
eyebruws at the sight of Felix staadwj
meekly before him with » can
of spray paint !•! fti* hsttd.
"Oh no, .. .not nv.. .1 jus*
wanted to 50 u> the bathroom.
sec-.."
"That's enough, kid. Let's gel going."
said Hodge*, picking up Felu.
by the scruff of iSc neck.
"No! No! It's not me*!! I'm innocent!
I'll sue. I'll we! Let me down'"
yelled Felix, his tret dangling beneath
hurt.
"Quiet, kid."
"Don't take me to Fibtsh! PIca*c*
F;t*i it's Fibish. then it's Juvee!"
tereamed poor Fel-x. But then he had
a brilliant idea. A ruthless, brilliant
idc*. A tcrrble, luthicss. brillunt
Klea. The kind of idea LSMIC would
have.
He blcnexl out. "I'll give you 500
Blow-pops if yoj let me so.'*
Hodges and Tuu>xnopo uuppcU
\hort and released their hold on leiu.
:t "500 a!ow-Pop*?" Their cars
perhaps, just maybt we can make an seemed to perk up.
exception for you. Well. Felix, if you "Preci. 5W Blow l\^y. I'll go
can sell 500 Blow Pops in Iww t!i>-s. get them." Fein ran back to the
' say jiJu're a mc.J>cr of our cscr- Kithmcm airl gathered his 500 Blow.
io-p(CiUi;>txis -:lub. V\*hat do >ou Poos whkh he promptly brought
s»y?"
back.
Ikrforc he delivered his mcichan-
'Get. thanki, Mr. Present. 1 dive, however, he iJlpped on hi daifc
won't let you down!" With that. glaives. If this »u going to be a dcz*.
Felix skipped out of the offire with tt had to be dene rijht. Felix handed
the £00 Blow-Pop* under h» arm over (he Blow-Popt. Tfcc two fcuinls
As he tefi. a blond beard member yielded ihe right of wiy.
turned to his neighbor and muttered. Felix emerged unscathed from thu
"I ttiU think we jhould have maU^ trying ctdcal. More polished than
him shallow goWfiih."
ever, smoother th-.n hooey, the
qutrttcs^u cool cat. Because be w-as
Felix wu in a very chipper csood a man.
as he skipped along, u earing hit
three-piece mil f cd l*e w Uh dutfU on
•t. Hew»sso«:Jiciied.iaf-i, ihitoe Take in ad in
rcJirotJ he had to 30 to the bathrconi.
"The Lowell"
'Gee. I hav>. to (o to the ihruugh m:!
bathroom!" he exclaimed. So wnat
. dk* Pdix 00 but J*ad towuds the
Advertising helps the
paper, and i get
journalism credit for
every ad I sell!
Contact:
C. Can
Res- 3821
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