Grade 11 Healthy Active Living Education Additional Supports ...

However, there are some ground rules that will help a couple fight fair, resolve the
conflict and increase the likelihood that both parties will come out the other end intact.
Optional Activity
The teacher could have the students use the following cards to practice skills in fair
fighting (e.g., role-play).
Rule One
Avoid physical aggression such as hitting, pushing, grabbing, throwing things, shoving, kicking or
beating up.
Rule Two
Stay focussed on the issue at hand and avoid bringing other issues that have accumulated into the
disagreement. Work out disagreements as they occur. DonÕt wait for things to build up. Work
out other issues at a later time, not in the heat of the moment.
Rule Three
Avoid name-calling. Conflict never gets resolved when people use name-calling as a retaliation
technique. Feelings only get hurt and the conflict escalates. Name-calling is a manipulation of the
real issue. It only serves to re-direct the focus and avoid the situation at hand.
Rule Four
Avoid putting the blame on the other person. Using ÒIÓ Statements shifts the blame and helps the
individual assume some of the responsibility for the issues at hand. ÒIÓ statements also help you
say how a situation makes you feel, what your perceptions of a situation are and what your needs
are. (e.g., ÒI was hurt when you said you didnÕt have time to sit and talk with meÓ) Defensiveness
on behalf of both parties involved is also eliminated.
Resources
Adapted from: ÒElements of a Healthy RelationshipÓ from Warning! Dating May be
Hazardous to Your Health! Mother Courage Press. WI, 1998
Grade 11 Healthy Active Living Education (PPL30), Module #1 Healthy Relationships and Sexuality
Page 37