Spike Magazine

Spike | 15 YEARS OF BOOKS, MUSIC, ART, IDEAS | www.spikemagazine.com
New Fiction [published July 1996]
Adam Baron: The Man Whose Penis Made Him Locally Famous
Adam Baron’s infamous, Penthouse-published tale of sex, feminism and chocolate-flavoured genitals
My penis made me locally famous. I didn’t find out
about it until I got to university. Before then my experience
of women was nonexistent. I’d been at a boys’
school and anyway I was pretty spotty. I couldn’t
believe when, all of a sudden, at the Fresher’s Ball, I
was snogging. I was even more amazed when we were
in her room. We were both wasted. I didn’t have a clue
how to behave, I was terrified, but she knew what to do
and in no time we were naked, in bed. She was kissing
my mouth. My neck. My chest, my stomach, my…!
She stopped.
My God! she said, incredulous. Your cock tastes just
like CHOCOLATE!
Melanie (her name) wasn’t a shy girl. She must have
told her friend Suzy. I realised this the next day when
a very attractive girl, with hip clothes and trainers, approached
me in the union bar and just started chatting.
This had NEVER happened to me before. She asked
me if I wanted to hear a new CD she’d bought and then
we were in her room. Halfway through the second track
we were naked. She’d hardly even kissed me before
her face disappeared under the duvet.
BUY Adam Baron books online from and
It does! she exclaimed suddenly. It bloody well does!!
Two weeks into university I was still a virgin. I had,
however, received 23 blowjobs from 12 different girls
and heard words such as “incredible”, “amazing”,
“Bournville”, “Swiss” and “Belgian” exclaimed by
mops of hair beneath my bedclothes. I had also been
requested to immerse myself in a glass of milk and
move vigorously to see if any of the flavour rubbed off.
It didn’t.
I went to the doctor. She didn’t believe me. Nor did
she try it out, which I thought shockingly unscientific.
But she did see the state I was in and give me a salve.
Okay, so I’ll admit it. For the first year it was great.
I could have loads of women, any time I wanted. I got
cunning and made them sleep with me first. I got fussy.
All the guys on campus were jealous. People who
didn’t know me looked wide eyed to see one or more
stunning girls on the arm of a spotty, pale youth, with
lank dark hair and glasses. What’s he got?, they seemed
to ask themselves.
But when the second year came I got really tired of it.
There was a whole new year of girls who wanted to try
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