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<strong>Spike</strong> | 15 YEARS OF BOOKS, MUSIC, ART, IDEAS | www.spikemagazine.com<br />

restaurant…<br />

WS: That was before [the Major incident] of course.<br />

That was actually a malevolent restaurateur rather than<br />

the tabloids themselves. He was someone who didn’t<br />

like the reviews I’d been giving his restaurants.<br />

CH: So there genuinely was this plan to get rid of you?<br />

WS: Oh yeah, that’s true.<br />

CH: A cabal?<br />

WS: Yeah, as far as I know is true as well. That’s not<br />

just rhetorical rubbish.<br />

CH: That’s a bit weird isn’t it?<br />

WS: No, it’s not weird. I mean I don’t think it was<br />

said with any great seriousness. What I think is, you<br />

know what these guys are like, they all sit around getting<br />

drunk and think “Wouldn’t it be great if we could<br />

bump off Will Self?” I don’t think they were serious<br />

but it does show you the level of naffness and the<br />

extent to which criticism can bite. I remember Deborah<br />

pointed out when I said “I don’t know why these<br />

fucking celebrity egg flippers get so upset about these<br />

reviews, you know they go on parcelling up three bits<br />

of radicchio for £45, why are they bothered?” and she<br />

said “Well, some of them really do regard what they<br />

do as an art form”.<br />

CH: You often just criticised the interior design of the<br />

restaurant rather than the food…<br />

WS: Well, these guys, and I do know some of them,<br />

aren’t stupid, what they realise is that by concentrating<br />

BUY Will Self books online from and<br />

on the restaurant you’re completely dissing the food and<br />

the whole culture that they represent in which it’s really<br />

important to drizzle olive oil in a particular way. You’re<br />

saying that “Hang on, this isn’t important”. Not only is<br />

it not important it’s a kind of grotesque moral singularity:<br />

You’re sitting around thinking about adding huge<br />

amounts of monetary value to ingredients that would<br />

barely keep a starving Somalian alive for a day. If you<br />

start criticising the food you start to take it on its own<br />

terms. You can’t allow it that much credence. You’ve<br />

suspended disbelief in what’s being done. Whereas my<br />

approach was to say ‘I just don’t buy any of this shit’<br />

you know.<br />

Novel uses<br />

CH: I liked the long ‘travel’ piece you wrote in Australia.<br />

You’re very much a spiritual person aren’t you?<br />

WS: Yes, when I went to see the whirling dervishes.<br />

Yes, I think so. Middle-age tends to afflict us in this<br />

way doesn’t it? And I think that cleaning up from drugs<br />

necessarily entails a revaluation of the spiritual facet of<br />

yourself. In order to shut off an entirely self-destructive<br />

way of life you have to look for a positive direction.<br />

But I think for people viewing my fictional work it’s<br />

always been there. I think that, this is a broad brush,<br />

but people tend to mistake me for a nihilist but I’m not<br />

really like this at all.<br />

CH: Ballard gets misunderstood in that way too.<br />

457<br />

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