Advocacy Matters - Spring 2024

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ACTIVE LISTENING Listen Up! How to Improve Active Listening Megan Keenberg, Keenberg & Co, and Lisa Marie Buccella, Aviva Trial Lawyers Active listening is a core communication and analytical skill that is critical to our success as advocates, advisors, and mentors. It helps us build relationships with colleagues and clients, empathize with others, and solve problems. When done effectively, it can also take the heat out of tough conversations with our mentees and de-escalate adversarial exchanges with opposing counsel. So, what is active listening, and how does it differ from regular (passive) listening? The main distinction is in the listener’s intention. The active listener’s goal is to profoundly understand the information that is being imparted to them, the reason why it is being imparted, and the underlying interests and motivations of the speaker. This is in contrast to the type of listening we more commonly engage in, which is listening to respond. 24
1. Give your undivided attention Listening to understand requires the listener’s undivided attention on the speaker. It is not something you can do while multi-tasking. It requires a deep focus. Put your phone down and move away from your computer screen. Go to a quiet room. Sit or stand face to face. Not only does facing the speaker signal your undivided attention, it positions you to be able to see non-verbal cues that could otherwise go unnoticed. For some personal or sensitive discussions, maintaining eye contact may feel too intense, even invasive. For those situations, try sitting side by side facing forward together. 2. Pay attention to non-verbal cues Non-verbal cues tell us as much or more than the content of what is said. Notice the speaker’s body language, tone of voice, facial expressions. Pay attention to pauses and changes in pace or volume of the speaker’s speech. Take in this information and let it live beside the content of what the speaker is saying. Later you can determine whether there is alignment or discord between the verbal and non-verbal communication, and what that might mean, but while you are listening, just notice it. 3. Pay attention to what is not being said The speaker may talk around their core message without hitting on it directly. Try to understand, based on their non-verbal cues and the verbal content, what is being left unsaid, and why. 4. Defer judgment You are listening to understand, not to respond, and not to judge. Don’t jump to conclusions. Let the story emerge the way the speaker needs to tell it. If the speaker feels judgment coming from the listener, they will clam up. 5. Put yourself in the speaker’s shoes Try to understand their circumstances and where they are coming from. Think about why the speaker is sharing this information with you, what they want you to do with the information, and why they are sharing it now. You don’t have to agree with what they’re saying, you just need to understand it. 6. Give the speaker space Don’t interrupt. Don’t try to predict what they are going to say or try to finish their sentences. Allow the speaker to finish their thoughts and relay what they need to relay. Don’t take them off track with your responses or objections. 7. Give the speaker regular feedback The speaker will be attuned to your reactions to what they are saying. Try to encourage them to continue speaking with non-verbal cues like maintaining eye contact, nodding, leaning in. You can also interject with verbal encouragement, e.g., “tell me more about that” or “what happened next?” or “that must have been hard on you”. 8. Create a mental picture of the story As you listen, envision the story the speaker is telling. Situate it in time and space. Notice any gaps in your picture. This will help you put the pieces of the story together cohesively, even if the speaker is not terribly cogent in their speech. 9. Ask clarifying questions Try to hold your questions until the speaker has finished speaking. They may be gearing up to address the points you need clarification on later. Let them get to it in their own time. Keep your questions on topic and in line with the speaker’s core message. If your questions take the speaker off track, try to retrace the last thread they were discussing before you interjected and let them continue. 10. Reflect, reframe, summarize, verify From time to time, and especially towards the end of the speaker’s speech, reflect back to them what you’ve heard in your own words, e.g., “What I’m hearing from you is that this experience with the senior partner has left you feeling underappreciated at your firm, and possibly concerned about job security. Do I have that right?” Make sure you verify that your reflections or summaries are accurate. 25
Page 1 and 2: ADVOCACY MATTERS The Advocates’ S
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Page 5 and 6: CHAIR CHAT Chair Chat Steven G. Fra
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Page 15 and 16: JUSTICE DELAYED PART II Justice Del
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Page 19 and 20: MENTOR BURNOUT Word to the Wise: Ho
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Page 23: her to engage in diverse legal matt
Page 27 and 28: Q: The 2024 Winter Summit: The Big
Page 29 and 30: The Patrick D. Schmidt Future of Fa
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Advocacy Matters - Spring 2024

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