Advocacy Matters - Spring 2024

five main mentees. And there are about fifteen
long-time mentees that I see several times per
year in person and keep in regular contact by
phone and text. The rest touch base with me
as needed, and I check in from time to time if I
haven’t heard from them. Often there will be a
flurry of calls, meetings and texts around crisis
management, followed by long periods of light
communication.
When I talk about my mentoring activities with
others, the number one question I get asked is:
“How do you find time to do so much mentoring
while also juggling a busy practice? Don’t you burn
out on it?”
The answer may surprise you. No matter how
much time I spend mentoring, I never feel burnt
out. To the contrary, when the pressures of
practice weigh on me, I ramp up my mentoring.
It lifts my spirits and provides a welcome break
from the grind.
Done well, mentoring is a cup filler, not a cup
drainer. Working through problems with my
mentees, helping them articulate what they
want and implement strategies to pursue their
goals, and then watching them soar, energizes
me. I get the thrill of the teacher when my mentee’s
eyes light up with new understanding, the
satisfaction of the coach when they apply what
we worked on together to achieve better outcomes,
and a spark of epiphany when they offer
me a new approach to old problems or a new
perspective I hadn’t considered before. I learn
from them as much as they learn from me. And
I cement what I’ve learned by sharing what I
know and refining and updating that wisdom in
different contexts over time. When I hear about
my mentees effectively mentoring others, the
full circle moment lifts me up.
If you are feeling drained and burnt out by
mentoring, something has gone wrong. Here
are my top three tips for letting mentoring fill
your cup instead of draining it:
1) Weed out mismatches early
Sometimes we choose our mentees, and
sometimes they choose us or are chosen
for us. Where we have a choice, we need to
choose wisely because it’s a big investment.
Choose mentees who are excited about learning
and appreciate your time. Choose mentees
who are coachable or can learn to be
coachable. Choose mentees who don’t look
like you or come from the same place as you,
who offer new ways of looking at legal problems,
business issues and the human condition.
Or, choose mentees who look a lot like
you and come from exactly where you came
from, especially where representation matters.
Choose mentees who share your humour
and your core values (and spend enough time
with them to recognize those commonalities).
Choose mentees who are kind, fun, maybe
a little weird – whatever traits you value in a
long-term relationship. When we are a good
match, a lot of this happens naturally and unconsciously
– you just meet, you click, and you
keep talking. You know, like friends do.
For those you don’t choose, you might not
have immediate chemistry and it can feel awkward
or burdensome at first. That’s okay, these
things can find their legs over time. Give them
a chance to get comfortable with you and give
yourself a chance to earn their trust. Listen,
listen, and listen some more. If you still find
yourself drained by your time together and are
dreading your next lunch, if you just don’t click,
or you don’t like them, refer them to someone
else who might be a better fit for them.
Don’t languish in an unfulfilling mentorship –
you will both suffer for sticking it out.
2) Layer mentoring onto your existing workday
Instead of trying to find extra time to mentor,
I piggyback mentoring onto whatever it is that
I’m doing. If I’m preparing for a court appearance,
I split submissions with my mentee and
we practice together. If I need to make a strategy
recommendation to a client, I include my
mentee in the formulation of the strategy, invite
her to the client meeting to present some
of the recommendations, and we debrief together
afterwards. I have two 30-minute walk-
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