Enconters

Heeeeey, sexy ma-ma. Why don't you, Mr. Crotch Tickler over there,
and Billy Bonkers go back stage afterwards and do the do all/ night
long.
..
STEPHANIE:
WILLIAM:
STEPHANIE:
WILLIAM:
STEPHANIE:
WILLIAM:
STEPHANIE:
WILLIAM:
STEPHANIE:
WILLIAM:
STEPHANIE:
WILLIAM:
You! You stay back, you, you criminal!
Me-owch. Retract the claws, please. (Whispers audibly) Just play
along. People are watching here.
(realises the audience are, indeed, paying attention) Help! Help! Ring
the guards! Please! This man murdered me!
What? No, no, no. You got the wrong idea. Allow me to introduce:
Ahem.
(starts to beat box, badly)
Yo, yo, yo. The name is Billy Bonkers. And just like Willy Wonker,
I'll take you down my chocolate river to my Oompa Loompas. But
their shortness does not correlate, to my size in an engorged state. But
don't be irate, because my rhymes may be late - to the party, don't get
fazed by the malarkey 'cause I'm just like a box of smarties. (rhythm
breaks down here) You'll get giddy of my sick beats, kiss my feet, the
lamb of God will be bleat-ing my tunes, I'm a super-famous loon. The
first internationally recognised Irish rapper, my words couldn't be crap
- (trails off confusedly)
Are you like a crazy person?
Damn right. I am insane in a membrane.
But seriously? Like, are you actually, clinically insane?
(deflated) No.
Then you can help me. Please. We only have a little bit of time. This,
this has happened before. The light, and ( addressing the audience) the
faces, and then ... blackness.
Well I wouldn't recommend walking into this light lady, or you might
end up in the lap of Mr. Crotch Tickler over there. Ammiright? (goes
to fist bump audience member cringe) Come on man, don't leave a
brother hanging.
No, listen! You don't understand. I need to get someone to find him.
He needs to be punished.
"Punished"? Sounds like someone's been reading "50 shades of cray".