Enconters

same ... the same shame.
(Therapist goes very silent after this outburst)
S: The strange joy, the fulfillment it gave me to kill and destroy. It's gone.
I'm done. I'm finished. I'm broken. I mean, I would save everyone the
trouble and just kill myself but I feel like I'd probably mess that up too.
All of this, all of it! It's all my fault. I killed those teenagers, I signed up for
this, I killed my mother. I killed the neighbors cat. I killed the spiders ...
T: (weak and quiet) You killed your mother?
S: You are a really unprofessional Therapist you know that? And why do
you have a secretary? Seriously I don't get that.
T: Your mother? You, you killed your mother? Anyone else you would like
admit to murdering?
S: I suppose at least now I have someone who unmderstands my
impulses ... A few months ago, I was walking through one of them
unfinished construction sites when I saw an old dog, looked like it had
been abandoned or something. But anyway I felt something like the need
to wipe your hair away from your face. Except for me it was the urge to end
the life of a living thing. As it was a cinstruction site there was a load of
bricks n things around so i got one, went over to the dog. (miming a sort of
gleeful killing) and beat the thing to death. (Anger) That was, when I
noticed a group of poshes behind me. God fuckin knows what they were
doin in that area of town but they were taking out their phones and pictures
and stuff. (pause) I snapped. I threw the brick I was holding and they
legged it. Except for one of them, a girl, about my age, she didn't move,
she couldn't. She lay perfectly still. I felt this kind of.. peace. You know?
I.-
T: (This has upset the therapist and she is quietly, angrily, crying into her
hand. She stops long enough to speak)
Kate.
S:Huh?
T: Kate. That was her name. I remember specifically because I though of
it. (Looking at photograph of husband) Niall wanted to name her Sarah, I
told her that's a business woman's name. All the same, she was ours.
(It takes Sean a while but he begins to put two and two together)