The Courage of Children: Boston and Beyond XXXIII

WILEINY ROMERO LARA
HELEN SULLIVAN, TEACHER
Joseph J. Hurley K-8 School, Boston, MA
Courage means knowing when to ask for help, even when it’s hard. I need help
with focusing at school and in all of my classes. I feel bad every time I realize
that I’m off task. I’ve always been a slow learner, and for me, it’s embarrassing.
I’ll be in class with the other students while working, and I’ll always look
around to see if I’m the only one who is struggling or the only one who is
confused. When I realize I’m the only one, I feel terrible.
I remember when I was in math stations and one of my classmates asked,
“You don’t even know your multiplication facts yet?”
I didn’t know how to answer that question, so I just laughed it off. I don’t care
about what other people think about me or say about me, but when it comes
to my education, I’ll have tears running down my face. It’s like I want to get
better at everything, but no matter how much I keep trying, it gets harder for
me to get better.
I’m different.
I learn differently.
I wish I learned like the others. I want to be like everyone who gets good grades.
In class, I’ll always be in a complete zone, thinking about other stuff and not
focusing on what I am supposed to be working on. And it’s like I’m somewhere
else, far, far away. Every time I am in a zone, my teacher calls my name. That’s
honestly very helpful because I never realize if I’m in a zone or not, but I do feel
bad when they call on me, because I should realize.
I’ve always been this person.
I don’t think my parents will ever understand that side or part of me. I wonder
how other people’s parents react when their kids show them their grades. While
everyone’s going higher and higher no matter what, I’m left behind. Something
helpful for me is working in small groups. I have an IEP, or an individualized
education program. I’ve had an IEP since first grade. Working in small groups
is helpful for me because other people explain it well, and they can find easier
strategies for me. They also find ways to make me understand better.
“I’M SHOWING
COURAGE EVERY DAY
BY COMING TO SCHOOL
AND SHOWING UP,
EVEN THOUGH I’M
NOT IN THE MOOD
TO SHOW UP.”
I wish somebody would understand me. I wish a teacher understood why I’m
like this. I hope the teachers don’t think I’m doing this on purpose. I do want
to get better at everything. Honestly.
This gives me a chance to express my feelings.
I’ve never liked school. It isn’t just the usual “I hate school” reasoning, because
of homework, or waking up early, or the long days. It’s the constant feeling of
being overwhelmed. I’m not just a shy kid. My entire body is filled with anxiety
all the time.
I never really raise my hand in class. I’ll sit there, not knowing what to do, but
I will never ask for help much. Why? I don’t even know myself. I can never
speak up. I have a hard time just asking if I can use the restroom or even go
to the nurse. The simplest, smallest things feel impossible for me to do. I’ve
always wished that I could raise my hand and answer the teacher, even if I’m
not 100 percent sure it’s correct.
I know I shouldn’t let my thoughts win. I can’t be scared of school.
I’m always overthinking about my grades, like, What if I get an F? What if I fail
this test? When I get my grade, I feel bad, because I put so much effort into it,
but it’ll be a 60 percent or lower.
I’m showing courage every day by coming to school and showing up, even
though I’m not in the mood to show up. I also show courage by not giving up,
knowing that I have been wanting to.
I’m so proud of myself.
THE COURAGE OF CHILDREN: BOSTON AND BEYOND
VOLUME XXXIII
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