ONBOARD Magazine spring 2024

Parents, I’m looking at you right
now too. This stuff starts at home,
encourage your kids to talk
about their feelings and express
themselves in a safe environment.
through posting online and receiving positive feedback.
Rather, looking inward to ourselves is a sustainable and
healthy way to develop positive emotional and cognitive
self-appraisals that build up self-esteem and self-worth.”
People who post this way online might not even be like
that in real life. We probably all know people who present
themselves as a different person on social media. This is not
uncommon, in fact it has a name, the “online disinhibition
effect” and there are whole studies on it in various science
journals. But what makes people act out in this way and
bully and judge on social media? Well, going back to the
article from Modern Therapy, “Our online behaviour directly
relates to our sense of worth offline. It also relates to
psychological states, for example whether we have low
self-esteem, narcissism, anxiety or depression can equate
to the need for admiration, external validation or other
traits leading us to post online.”
When someone does post this stuff, should we be sympathetic
then? Hmm. Maybe best left to the fans… or we risk
becoming a new target for them. Some people like to lash
out at others online and try to bring them down or hurt
them because they derive pleasure from it. Perhaps it makes
them feel better about themselves. It really shouldn’t.
Many psychology reports also note than people like this
are generally not that stable and should be treated with
caution. So yeh, let’s be careful about our interactions
with them. Do not feed the animals. They’re bitey.
While social media provides a platform for expression, which
is great, this reliance on passive-aggressive posts over
direct communication poses potential risks to developing
our interpersonal relationships. The lack of nuance in online
communication can lead to misunderstandings and strained
connections, as recipients may struggle to discern the true
intent behind veiled messages. And if people keep posting
like this, the recipients or targets of these posts will
probably just give up on them and eventually stop caring.
If they even cared in the first place.
Why are we like this though? When did we stop interacting
in real life? Is this another fall out from the pandemic
when we were all locked up and falling down internet rabbit
holes? Or is it just humanity’s natural progression as we
rely more on technology to share ideas and communicate?
Whatever it is, it could do with a change. And as usual I
feel that starts with Generation X…
To foster healthier communication among younger generations,
it’s crucial to promote open dialogue and the importance
of addressing conflicts directly. Encouraging face-to-face
conversations or private messaging can help individuals
express their concerns more effectively, fostering a better
understanding between parties. Parents, I’m looking at you
right now too. This stuff starts at home, encourage your
kids to talk about their feelings and express themselves
in a safe environment.
There we have it. The prevalence of passive-aggressive
social media venting reflects the evolving landscape of
communication in the digital age. While technology offers
new avenues for expression, it’s essential to strike a balance
between online and offline communication. Encouraging open
dialogue and teaching effective conflict resolution skills can
contribute to building stronger, more resilient interpersonal
relationships in an increasingly (dis?)connected world.
VAGUE BOOKING
So you’ve read all this and still want to post passive
aggressive stuff on socials? OK fair enough. I tried. If
you’re going to do it, at least do it properly: Master the
art of VAGUEBOOKING – craft a post that’s so cryptic,
even Sherlock Holmes couldn’t figure it out. Bonus points
if even your actual friends can’t work out if they’re the
subject.
Play the victim Make sure you mention how you’re always
there for everyone. But nobody’s there for you. Boohoo. Be
that martyr.
Give the drama “I think it’s funny how….” Bonus points for
ending with shrugging and cute emojis.
Memes Find those passive aggressive memes and keep
them in your arsenal for every occasion. Nothing shouts
subtle shade like using memes. Cos it’s just funny right? “I
was only joking” covers your backside in every situation.
Use quotes Nothing like a passive aggressive quote to
throw shade. Subtly, of course. “I’d rather have an enemy
who admits they hate me, instead of a friend who secretly
puts me down”. All right love, calm down.
Friendship tests Don’t forget to regularly post about “true
friends” and make sure you keep note of the ones who
immediately reply. Cos they’re the ones you want to keep an
eye on. Guilty consciences right there.
Deniability If called out don’t forget to say “Oh I wasn’t talking
about you specifically! I was just joking around” because
nobody wants to actually deal with their problems like a
grown up do they?
Remember opting for passive aggression on facebook is the
best way to demonstrate you don’t do direct, you don’t do
honest, and you definitely, don’t want to resolve the issue.
Otherwise what on earth will you post about?!
28 | SPRING 2024 | ONBOARD