Lot's Wife Edition 1 2013

LOT’S
WIFE
EDITION 1 2013

CONTENTS
6. Editorials
7. Letters to the editor
8. National Affairs
14. International Affairs
20. Student Affairs
33. Science
34. Music
40. Film & TV
44. Performing Arts
50. Creative Space
54. Culture
Thanks
Bren, for going above and beyong his
editing duties last year by helping us
format our first edition. Kate and Lisa for
saving our asses with their design expertise
innumerable times. Host Scheme for a
steady supply of alcohol. Women’s office
for the beds. Dani for the layout. Coffee,
Rum and Matwa. Oh sweet Matwa.
Sweet, bitter, burning Matwa.
Designer
Dani Blythe
Layout Guru
Bren Carruthers
Image Credits
Carl Guderian (cover)
Shiela Brown (p28)
No Thanks
Being told we can’t print the magazine size
we planned for two days before going to
print. Goodbye pre-orgnised layout, hello
hours on InDesign. Hard concrete floors -
you are no good for sleeping on.
The University of Adelaide (p23)
Summi (pg 35)
Dan Martensen (yeah yeah yeahs P38)
Ipaulosmar (Atoms for Peace p38)
Section Editors
National Affairs: Thomas Clelland and Elizabeth Boag
International Affairs: Priya Mohandoss and
Student Affairs: Hannah Barker and Ioan Nascu
Science: Caitlyn Burchell, Shalaka Parekh and Nicola McCaskill
Music: Dina Amin, Augustus Hebblewhite, Leah Phillips and
Steven M. Voser
Film & TV: Ghian Tjandaputra and Patricia Tobin
Performing Arts: Christine Lambrianidis and Thomas Alomes
Creative Writing: Allison Chan, Michelle Li and Thomas Wilson
Culture: Hannah Gordon and Christopher Pase
Online News: Julia Greenhalf
Web Design: Choon Yin-Yeap and Jake Spicer
As you read this paper you are on Aboriginal land. We at Lot’s Wife recognise the Wurundjeri and Boon Wurrung peoples of the Kulin Nations as the
historical and rightful owners and custodians of the lands and waters on which this newspaper is produced. The land was stolen and sovereignty was never
ceded.
Lot’s Wife Student Newspaper est. 1964. Monash University Clayton, VIC.
Lot’s Wife does not condone the publishing of racist, sexist, militaristic or queerphobic material. The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors or
the MSA. Submitted articles may be altered. All writing and artwork remains the property of the producers and may not be reproduced without their written consent.
T: 03 9905 8174
W: lotswife.com.au
@lotswifemag
www.facebook/lotswifemagazine
lotswife2013@gmail.com
© 2013 Monash Student Association. All Rights Reserved.
don’t look back.
5

EDITORIALS
EDITORIALS
FLORENCE RONEY
MATTHEW CAMPBELL
I have had many a friendly argument over the objectivity of the media,
sipping lattes, deliberating the big philosophical questions, university
wankyness at its finest. My friends and I would argue just how objective a
journalist and perhaps more pertinent to me now, an editor, truly can be.
On one particular occasion, fresh out of first year journalism, I
stoutly argued that the role of the press was to educate and inform, not
to impose opinion or belief, however subtle that may be. This idea had
been drilled into us in class, opinion was a dirty word. All we should
write should be cold, hard, truth.
My friend on the other hand was more nuanced in his position,
asking if it is ever possible to be truly objective. Can we always, or
indeed ever, be certain that the words we pick, the stories we choose to
write and choose to print are not filtered by our own judgements and
therefore opinions?
Looking back on that conversation now, I realise just how ignorant
I was. If there is one thing I have learnt putting together this first edition
of Lot’s Wife is that our own opinions filter everything that we do, write
and publish.
In what started out as a pledge to objectivity but ultimately ended
up more as a contrast of completely opposite ideas, this edition we have
put together a series of double page spreads on contentious issues. We
hope in doing this, you can learn more about a position you may not
agree with, or like.
This week I have come to terms with more than just my inner
qualms with objectivity. I have learnt that prescription sunglasses can
be a saving grace, despite the hilarity of editing in sunnies at 4 in the
morning; the world may be darker, but oh so much clearer! I have
experienced the sheer depression of watching the sun set and then rise
(with no sleep in between) out of the office window for the third time
in a week and the shamelessness of walking around the campus centre
shoeless, at 7 in the morning, on the hunt for the first (real) coffee of the
day. I am certain that the campus is haunted and understand the need to
ALWAYS bring a toothbrush to the office in layout week.
It’s been a big couple of days, my new favourite phrase is “I feel like
I’ve been hit by a train!” and I probably shouldn’t take No-Doz again for
a while - but here’s to Edition One and the next seven to come.
There’s a tremendous sense of endowment that comes with having
creative control over a magazine. I’ve never had this level of
responsibility to anything before, and it’s possible I may never have it
again. Nowhere could this be more terrifying and exciting than in a
publication that has a student population of around 25,000 as its primary
demographic. For reasons that are too difficult to get into here, I walked
into this job seemingly by chance. But regardless of my background
or that of my co-editor, or any other editor of any student paper, one
question prevails: what gives us the right to have the final say on what
goes into these publications?
This question is especially relevant when considering the no
doubt universal kind of Jekyll-and-Hyde tendency among student paper
editors to want to craft their publication to their own ideals, while
simultaneously producing something that captures a broad range of
interests. A speaker at a student media conference I attended recently
put forth the notion that these publications are ours for the making –
that they belong to us. This was an attractive concept at the time, and in
the sense that bias and preference is inevitable, he had a point. But this
attitude troubled me for reasons I wasn’t quite sure of at the time.
Coming out the tail-end of a long week of brutally intense hard
work and introspection, the answer couldn’t be clearer. I’ve barely been
on the other side of the Menzies building since Flo and I found out at the
start of the week that the magazine size we had chosen was unprintable.
This was a major set-back that doomed us both to sleepless nights in the
office, which has been, alternately, an asylum; a home-away-from-home;
a precipice and a constant source - in sporadic yet equal amounts - of joy,
rage and wonder. From that alone, it seems ambivalent and undesirable
to say that I’m doing this for myself. I feel genuinely unhealthy after
this week and the prospect of staying in this office another hour is
maddening. That aside, the real point I want to make here is that there’s
a spectacular sense of pride in knowing that I’m part of something that
gives people the opportunity to see their work and their opinions in
print, regardless of whether I agree with them or not. As much as it is my
say as to what goes into this magazine, there’s a certain sense in which
it’s not - and that’s the way it should be. It’s a simple enough point, but
it’s one that speaker failed to mention.
6 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

LETTERS
LETTERS TO THE EDITORS
We would love to hear from you.
Email your thoughts, grievances and marriage proposals to lotswife2013@gmail.com
Dear Lot’s Wife,
Welcome to the end of Monash University
as you know it. It has been announced very
recently that Monash University’s Gippsland
Campus is to be dispensed with in a virtual sale
to The University of Ballarat. The finer details
are currently unclear, but it has already been
confirmed that the Campus will no longer carry
the Monash name, nor confer Monash degrees.
But why, here on Clayton Campus, should we
possibly care? There’s nothing left for us to do
here except sit around sipping our lattes and
laugh about how the cows in Gippsland now
won’t be able to attend our very own “Bovine
University” and gain their degrees in Arts. Yet
the potential for further upheaval is clear. In
its pursuit of their often-trumpeted title of
“Global University”, Monash has created one
of the most complicated and uncoordinated
University campus networks ever seen. And
it is clearly haemorrhaging.Vice Chancellor
Ed Byrne’s desire to have the entire range of
sweeping reforms done and dusted by January 1,
2014 only underlines how desperately Monash
wants to rid itself of its ailing arm.
Meanwhile, the much-debated SSAF
agreement of last year is distributed amongst
the campuses equally, rather than on basis of
student numbers, propping up the weakest
links. The Syncrotron sits idly, perhaps waiting
for the day when it will be bulldozed and
turned into carparks. And the meteoric rise of
online tertiary education tears at the very heart
of campus life. All Monash students should be
concerned about the integrity of the institution
as we move towards our graduation days.
Anonymous.
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NATIONAL AFFAIRS
CRYING OVER
How There’s More To The Breastfeeding Debate
Than David Koch
Michelle Li
“I think you should breastfeed anywhere, any time at all. It’s just that I think you’ve got to
be aware of your environment and to show respect to others and common courtesy to others
and they should show respect to you as well, but depending on the situation, to be discreet
and to be modest.”
Uncomfortable? Image: Christine Rogers
8 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

NATIONAL AFFAIRS
SPILT MILK
Sunrise presenter David Koch’s comments on
breastfeeding created a spate of vicious backlash
from women nation-wide. The comments were
made in reference to the story of Queensland
mother Liana Webster, who was asked to leave
whilst breastfeeding at a public pool. Social
media exploded with public response and a
“Sunrise Nurse-In” was staged outside Seven’s
Martin Place studio, where mothers protested
by breast- or bottle-feeding their children in
front of the cameras, in a public space.
An important distinction that must first
be made is between the concepts of ‘when and
where’ and ‘how’. Not once does Koch express
the opinion that breastfeeding is disgusting,
shameful or wrong – if anything, he is vocal
in his defense of a woman’s right to do so in
public. His main point, which was quickly
drowned in the outcry that followed, was
that respect goes both ways. People respect
that breastfeeding is a natural process, but
as a corollary, breastfeeding mothers should
respect that public exposure may make others
uncomfortable.
This is where media focus deviates from
the main issue at stake. Questioning the
manner of breastfeeding in public is entirely
different to questioning its permissibility, yet
social discourse has shifted to centre on the
latter. “He’s saying you can breastfeed in a
limited selection of Kochie-approved public
places and social situations and that’s not when
and where you please, that’s when and where
other people please,” wrote a commenter on
my blog. “I can’t believe it’s 2013 and we’re still
talking about this.”
Nobody can. Under the 1984
Commonwealth Sex Discrimination Act, it
is illegal to treat a person unfairly on the
grounds of their sex – and this includes the
act of breastfeeding. After the Kirstie Marshall
incident of 2003 (in which the former
Victorian Labor MP’s ejection from Parliament
for nursing her 11-day-old daughter during
question time elicited support for combining
the roles of motherhood and professionalism) it
is more than clear that women possess the full
legal right to breastfeed in public. Koch knows
this. “These things can get out of hand and he
wants to make sure the mothers of Australia
know he fully supports breastfeeding in public,
he just thinks it could be done a bit more
discreetly or modestly,” Seven spokeswoman
Penny Heath stated. “We never shy away from
debate or differences of opinion: that’s the
beauty of Sunrise.”
Never has this been a fight about
breastfeeding, it has been about the
social acceptability of a bare breast being
seen in public. Indeed, it has been about
the warring perceptions of a woman’s
body that has long typified the Madonnawhore
complex.
“
”
And this is where the heart of the debate
lies: discretion. Never has this been a fight
about breastfeeding, it has been about the
social acceptability of a bare breast being seen
in public. Indeed, it has been about the warring
perceptions of a woman’s body that has long
typified the Madonna-whore complex.
When examining the protracted and
colourful history between sexism and the
female body, a strange dichotomy of opinion
emerges. Modern society has long allowed
public exposure of a man’s nipples, but not that
of a woman’s. But why is this so?
Popular culture features women in
various states of undress, whether it be Kate
Upton’s mountainous cleavage on the cover of
Sports Illustrated or scantily clad models in an
artist’s latest music video. In such a manner,
breasts are neither portrayed nor perceived as
functional; rather, they are regarded entirely
in terms of aesthetics and are therefore
sexualized as objects of pleasure. Breastfeeding
is an uncomfortable reminder that a woman’s
body serves to nurture, rather than to merely
entertain. On a subconscious level, seeing a
child at a woman’s breast creates an awkward
connection between the sexual and the
innocent and, as such, the act is contorted from
what is natural to what is deemed offensive.
Koch unknowingly illustrates this when
defending his position, stating, “When you’re
at a public swimming pool and you pull your
top down [to breastfeed] it does show a lot of
flesh… [but] I don’t mind if women sunbake
topless as long as they don’t do it between the
flags in a high traffic area.”
Yet, a woman is not to blame for
the perception of her body as shameful or
provocative by others, and nor is it her
responsibility if children stare at or people
comment on the act of breastfeeding. Things
done in the public domain are unique in how
they are viewed, with phrases such as “I’d
never do that in public” common in everyday
conversation, and many individuals share
Koch’s opinion that breastfeeding in public is
acceptable as long as it is “classy”. However, the
difference between a couple kissing in a park
and the same couple in a passionate embrace –
both perfectly legal acts where only the latter
is believed to be inappropriate – does not apply
to the varying manners of breastfeeding, which
is unique in the underpinning social mechanics
that drive society’s reaction to public display.
There is a world of difference between a
friendly reminder to cover up and being kicked
out of an institution, as Koch tries to articulate,
but closer consideration of seemingly different
motives reveals striking similarities. At its core,
this is about more than just legality and tactful
phrasing: it’s about women, their children and
their bodies, and our support of these should
never be a point of contention.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
9

NATIONAL AFFAIRS
HOMOPHOBIA
an australian tale
Ioan Nascu
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a monster - a
Chimaera that fed on the hatred, fear and ignorance of men. So vile was
this creature that the people of the land feared holding hands or kissing
out in the open, displays of their love attracting disgust and hostility. Its
victims would call it by the name of ‘Homophobia’.
One day a hero emerged, wielding stories and cups of tea in his
battle against this dread. He would go where no other hero would dare
travel, where they all told him it would be dangerous or impossible. He
would fight the good fight.
And on the 20th of January, our hero launched the National
Institute for Challenging Homophobia Education (NICHE), where, if
you catch him in a cheery mood, he will tell you that they train ‘ninjas’
to join him in this seemingly never-ending battle.
Daniel Witthaus, the knight in shining armour of our tale, agreed to
speak with Lot’s Wife and tell us more about his experiences. Welcomed
into his cosy castle with a cuppa in hand, I was ready to talk to one of the
top Lesbian Gay Bi Trans Intersex (LGBTI) people to watch this year.
So, Daniel, if you had to go door-to-door and sell cookies for NICHE,
how would you describe it to people?
NICHE is best described in three parts. It’s park think-tank,
part centre for excellence and part operational organisation (creating
projects and offering training). Ultimately it’s a gathering point for ideas,
resources and people, particularly aimed at combating homophobia in
regional, rural and remote areas.
What’s the situation with Homophobia in Australia? Are people aware
it exists, or do they live in blissful ignorance that this country is far
beyond things such as this?
In Australia, homophobia is worse than most people think it is, yet
a lot easier to challenge and interrupt as well. People have a belief that
things are better these days, however, unless you are supported and linked
to LGBTI organisations then your experience is likely to be like that of
10- 15 years ago. Homophobia in Australia isn’t as bad as it is in the US
because we are not as religious, for example.
You are much more likely to be chased down and killed in America,
in Australia you are more likely to be yelled at and have your head kicked
in. Homophobia here lacks the venom. Research tells us that 75% of
LGBTI young people will experience homophobia in their everyday lives.
Of the other 25% a majority will say they don’t experience it because no
one knows that they are LGBTI. Having worked internationally I can
say that homophobia is very diverse across continents and oceans. In
Poland, for example, the homophobia that educators were facing from
parents and teachers was very similar to the outer- metropolitan areas
of Melbourne. But the political and social landscape was much more
oppressive.
Talk to me about cities – civilized, cultured, modern. Any problems
there?
Cities can be broken up in middle city and inner suburbs, and outermetropolitan
areas. Outer - metropolitan areas mimic rural areas: isolated,
they don’t have the same visibility as inner city areas. With the inner
city areas it isn’t that there is no homophobia, just that it is expressed
in different ways. Rural areas are much more likely to acknowledge
homophobia, whilst inner city areas create the image that the situation
is much better without questioning the real situation. They don’t like to
take blame. I did a challenging homophobia programme in a progressive
metropolitan school, formally evaluated by Deakin University. I was
told beforehand that they do not have homophobia in their school
(and thus it would be pointless for me to go there). In the pre-testing
for homophobic attitude, students in the school had similar levels of
homophobia to any other school across Australia.
I’m just going to throw you words and let you talk, whilst I nod and
pretend that I, of course, know all of this. Next word: Universities. Go!
Universities are small communities. You have lots of different
students from lots of different places: so there isn’t as a strong sense of
community as with other social environments. What that means is that
there is the potential for homophobia, because people are less connected;
universities and young people entering the workforce for the first time
are new areas of research. Young people, unless confident, will experience
homophobia. It is a high risk time for young people to experience
homophobia.
Do you think Universities are doing enough to combat homophobia?
Well, there are generally queer groups on campus – both a blessing
and a curse. It’s true that they are very good for people included in the
group. However, they are very political and highly visible: so many
young students do not take part because it is too much. More generally,
10 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

NATIONAL AFFAIRS
universities are doing more and more – the ALLY Network is a good
example – operating across a number of universities. It all boils down
to the size of the university and the course: engineering, or more
traditionally male dominated courses, people report more homophobia
than for example teaching and nursing. There is definitely not enough
LGBTI content within courses – it is almost invisible.
So, I have this obsession with international students – might be
because I have a victim complex. You know? they pay more fees, they’re
all fresh of the boat, how is it for them?
Studies show that international students are much more at risk
of STI’s. They come to a new country, many attempt to explore their
sexuality because they are away from their family – and from a much more
oppressive environment towards sex and homosexuality. Struggling with
a new culture and language, it can mean that there are power inbalances
between them and their partners which leads to a whole load of shit.
Australia does have its issues with racism, and within the LGBTI there is
sexual racism as well.
Without international students, the Australian universities system
would crash. There is a preference for international (fee-paying) students.
It is an incredible opportunity for these students, however, to take all of
their fees and chuck them in a fucking room somewhere, thinking all they
do is go to supermarkets and classes is really naïve. In general, universities
do not do enough. There is not enough support for international
students in general. Partly, there is an assumption that particular cultures
and religions will not have sex – especially the gay kind. Nobody
acknowledges the fact that they are sexual beings, in an environment in
which they can let loose.
I used to do an annual presentation to the Monash Education
Students in their final year: the last lecture I did was the day after the
Monash shooting. Monash isn’t doing enough, by all means.
One lesson a year is not enough.
Before we go, can you give a few pieces of advice?
To universities: to audit all of their courses and their support services
to look at what’s happening for LGBTI students and staff,how LGBTI
specific content is being addressed or not, and what is being done to
bridge the gaps.
To non-LGBTI people: More people than ever are LGBTI friendly.
However, most straight people do not act on these good intentions. One
of the best things that they can do is demonstrate their LGBTI support,
particularity by not saying “that’s so gay” and challenging the people
around them when they do use it.
For people in the LGBTI: It is clear that the best thing that can
happen for any LGBTI person is to have a close group of supportive
people around. The magic number is 5 – they do not have to be LGBTI
themselves, and can be housemates, classmates or university staff.
Research says that difference between thriving and surviving is not only
this group, but also how they experience homophobia – some experience
it personally, and as their fault, others see it as the problem of the
homophobic person.
The pen, just for a moment, lay down to rest as our part in the story
came to an end. And all I truly wish is to be able to say “and they lived
happily ever after”. Yet there is still much to be done, on our part and on
everyone’s part, until, as Daniel says, people can hold the hands of the
ones that they love without fear. Unlike every story, we are all part of it,
and, little by little, we can bring that happy ending close.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
11

NATIONAL AFFAIRS
TEACHERS: A LESSON IN ESTEEM
Thomas Clelland
Recently while travelling overseas, I met an
Australian girl studying to become a teacher.
Her reasoning was because it “wasn’t too
hard”, and she enjoyed working with children.
The conversation moved on, and I quickly
forgot about it. A few days later, however, I
found myself thinking back to what she had
said. When had teaching become a job that
was chosen because it’s “not too hard”? By no
means am I suggesting that this is the rationale
of all who choose to become an educator; I
have many teachers in my family, and I know
first-hand that many choose to do so out of a
desire to better society and love for their work.
I merely wondered why it was so easy to join
the ranks of a profession that, at least in my
mind, performs perhaps the most important
function in society.
Finland, a country famous for the
high standard of its teachers, may be a good
place to start. Being the capitalist pig I am,
I immediately assumed the answer must be
money; Finland had to be paying their teachers
much more than we do. The truth shocked
me. According to Organisation for Economic
Cooperation and Development (OECD) data,
the average wage for a teacher in Finland
($37,000) is around A$10,000 less than it
is in Australia. And yet, Finland’s teachers
are widely acknowledged as being among
the very best in the world. Why is it that
Finland’s brightest minds gravitate towards
this profession, rather than toward big money
positions in the financial industry, for example?
I have a suggestion as to why this occurs.
According to the Centre on International
Education Benchmarking, teachers in Finland
are treated extremely well, with good annual
leave, overtime conditions, and small class
sizes. The CIEB also notes that the process
for becoming an educator is extremely strict,
with many more applicants rejected than
successful, and that as a result there is a very
high level of prestige that comes with being a
successful candidate. Moreover, maintaining
a high standard of education is considered to
be an extremely high priority for the nation,
and this is reflected in social attitudes within
the community. Simply put, the Finnish
government ensures that teachers are treated
well, and Finnish citizens actually care about
the standard of teachers in all schools, not just
that of their child.
Perhaps there is a lesson here, perhaps
not. It is my opinion, however, that teachers
play an essential role in developing the minds
that will one day be the backbone of our
society. They work extremely hard in what is
often a thankless position, and we would do
well to recognise the wisdom of valuing the
quality of education in Australia as a whole,
rather than just caring about the school to
which we send our children. If we don’t, we
may see a day where wut u red in magz lyk lot’s
wyf is speld lyk dis lolz.
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12
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

NATIONAL AFFAIRS
THE GREAT PEPTIDE SCANDAL
Elizabeth Boag
Image: Sriram Bala
Recently allegations have been made by the
Australian Sports Anti–Doping Authority
(ASADA) over the use of certain drugs by
AFL teams. These have created a media frenzy,
highlighting corruption, poor regulation and
rule enforcement by clubs; not just within the
AFL but widespread within Australian sport.
In an age when technology and science
are continuously creating revolutionary drugs
and formulas, more players are willing to do
almost anything to get that winning edge.
In the specific case of the Essendon
Football Club, serious questions have arisen
in relation to the allegations of players being
provided with supplements, which are illegal
under the World Anti Doping Agency code
(WADA). Disturbing talk of drugs being used
that are potentially unsafe has also circulated.
Home Affairs Minister Jason Clare
suggested “drugs that have not yet been
approved for human use” had been taken. This
raises some serious questions, such as if the
administered drugs are putting the players at
risk and whether it is safe, particularly in the
long term.
There has been doubt over whether
the players were adequately informed about
the risks and the potential illegality of the
situation. If this is so, there will be serious
consequences for Essendon and any other
implicated clubs, as the investigation
continues.
It is clear Essendon are not alone in this,
with questions being asked of all clubs, and the
AFL confirming that at least one other club is
involved. It remains to be seen just how many
other clubs will be drawn into this damaging
drugs scandal.
AFL Chief Executive Officer Andrew
Demetriou, after the release of the ASADA
report in a media conference said “Today
is the day we draw a line in the sand and
collectively we address and tackle (drugs in
sport because) sport is too important in this
community.”
We must question to what extent
regulation was occuring before. Especially
after reports such as those recently released by
the ASADA that clearly highlight a breach
of the system, that has allowed drug taking to
continue until now.
Former Hawthorn FC president Jeff
Kennett has attacked the AFL’s three strikes
policy. “There is only one policy which will
survive any test and that is a zero tolerance
policy to drugs, be they illicit drugs or
performance-enhancing drugs,” he said.
But the doping crisis is more than
just the AFL. Clare, at a news conference
in Canberra said, “Multiple athletes from a
number of clubs in major Australian sporting
codes are suspected of currently using or
having previously used peptides, potentially
constituting anti-doping rule violations”.
Upon hearing of the ASADA report,
Prime Minister Julia Gillard said, “It is a
dark day for Australian sport”. This scandal
has rocked sporting fans and the Australian
public. Many fans have written letters to the
editor and opinion pieces in the major papers,
expressing their uncertainty and confusion.
There is also anger from the public at the
Federal Government for their handling of the
situation and of the subsequent media storm.
AFL clubs have joined the growing chorus
asking for hard facts and to name names,
for as long the information is kept secret, all
sportsmen and women are being tarnished with
the same brush.
The saga has received international
attention. A recent article released by the
BBC entitled ‘Australian drugs scandal shows
money talks in sport’ highlights that these
days the monetary stakes to win are so much
higher than ever before, particularly in a strong
sporting nation such as Australia.
It appears younger generations are set
to grow up watching sporting teams and
individuals going to astonishing lengths to
try and ensure a win. Whether this be by
taking performance enhancing drugs, or fixing
matches, it must sadly be concluded that
Australian sport is not what it once was.
It might be a long time before Australian
sport can once again regain its reputation for
sportsmanship, honesty and integrity.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
13

INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS
Image: Nicor
14 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS
NORTH KOREA:
NUKES IN OUR NEIGHBOURHOOD
Thomas Clelland
The country established by the will of the people,
breasting the raging waves with soaring strength.
Let us glorify forever this Korea,
limitlessly rich and strong.
For the third time in its turbulent and bizarre
history, the Democratic People’s Republic
of Korea (self titled, obviously) has conducted
a nuclear weapons test on domestic soil. This
has, of course, resulted in the usual outburst
of diplomatic meetings and condemnations
from most players in world politics. This time,
however, a new voice has been added to the
chorus. China, who has long been a traditional
ally of the Hermit Kingdom, ran an article in
the state-run Global Post denouncing the tests
and conveying their “deep concern” over the
situation. Though perhaps not the strongest
condemnation, this is still indicative of a
continuing marginalisation of the DPRK on
the global stage. Does this signal the beginning
of the end for the alternately terrifying and
hilarious regime in North Korea? Not quite.
China’s condemnation is not really an
indication of any decision to turn against
North Korea, rather, it is a not-so-subtle
message to their perennial ally on the Korean
Peninsula, telling them to shut up and keep
their head down to avoid attracting more
negative international attention. In reality,
China will continue to tolerate the actions
of the DPRK until they border on actual
aggression. In fact, they would probably
even spring to the defence of its ‘national
sovereignty’ in the event of an international
intervention. There is, of course, a reason
for this; if the regime in Pyongyang was to
collapse, Korea would most likely be unified
and administered from Seoul in the south.
The result? An American-sympathetic regime
bristling with American weaponry and military
personnel right on China’s border; a situation
that Beijing would seek to avoid at all costs.
North Korea, then, isn’t going anywhere
in the near future. Does this mean that we
should be worried? After all, there is a crazy
guy who’s built himself a nuke living in our
neighbourhood. To answer this question, it is
probably helpful to understand the situation
in North Korea. The society is built around
Kim Il-sung’s juche philosophy, which is the
belief that the Korean masses are the only
ones who are in charge of the destiny of the
state, and extra-territorial intervention or
influence is an affront to the freedom of the
people. The freedom of the people, however, is
already negligible or non-existent. The DPRK
is essentially a personality cult that revolves
around the ‘Great Leader’ of the day; first it
was Kim Il-sung, then Kim Jong-il, and now
Kim Jong-un. The party demands unflinching
devotion of every citizen to both juche and
the Great Leader, with any form of dissidence
resulting in imprisonment in a government
gulag or forced labour camp. The main tool of
indoctrination is party propaganda, revolving
heavily around the prowess of the DPRK’s
military and the infallibility of its leader. As
a result, the government spends most of its
meagre budget on military development, and
relies heavily on international aid (particularly
from China) to feed its impoverished citizens.
Most importantly, Kim Jong-un’s regime is
very aware of its precarious position, and
clearly knows there is nothing to be gained by
provoking international intervention.
The nuclear test, then, was not intended
to be an act of international intimidation.
Rather, it is a domestically targeted propaganda
campaign, designed to reinforce and legitimise
the newly minted ‘Great Leader’, Kim Jong-un.
The show of force and prowess was designed to
distract the North Korean public from the truth
of the squalor in which they live, and ensure
that, at least under Kim Jong-un, revolutionary
sentiment remains dormant.
Personally, I regard the DPRK as one of
the last remaining enigmas in an increasingly
homogenised world. This is a country whose
leader, according to North Korean official
history, was born under a double rainbow
on the summit of a mountain, has directed
thousands of films, and controls the weather
with his mood. Of course, the DPRK is a
potential threat to its regional neighbours, but
for the moment it poses a negligible risk to
Australia, and should be enjoyed while it lasts.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
15

INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS
PRO-CHOICE
“It should be as casual and as accessible as getting a flu shot”
Sarah Garnham - Socialist Alternative
Abortion is every woman’s right. We have
come a long way since the days before the
women’s liberation movement. In the 1950s
and 60s women regularly died at the hands of
unskilled abortionists, or from trying to do it
themselves. Women were forced into horrific
self-inflicted abuses, such as downing bottles of
gin, taking scalding hot baths, jumping from
heights and scraping their wombs with coat
hangers.
These days it’s rare to hear of someone
who dies in the process of aborting a foetus
in Australia. In America, things are different.
Due to a concerted campaign by right
wing bigots (many of whom are prominent
ruling-class figures), abortion rights are being
severely attacked. Recent legislature changes
have resulted in a slew of abortion clinics
being shut down or being forced to make their
services less accessible. In Mississippi, the
state’s last remaining abortion clinic is fighting
for its life.
Worse still, women in America are being
jailed and abused by the state as a result of
the ‘criminalisation of pregnancy’. A recent
report conducted by the National Advocates
for Pregnant Women (NAPW) found that
through the invocation of things like ‘foeticide
statutes’, there have been a wide range of cases
in which pregnant women were arrested and
detained not only if they ended a pregnancy or
expressed an intention to end a pregnancy, but
also after suffering unintentional pregnancy
loss.
In 2008, Victorian law was updated to
bring it out of the medieval era and abortion
was removed from the criminal code. But
even in the enlightened South, our rights are
limited. Firstly, a woman is not free to simply
have her pregnancy terminated, no questions
asked, just because she chooses to do so. She
must go through an invasive process during
which a doctor evaluates whether or not she
has sufficient grounds to have an abortion. She
has to prove her case. Like children, women
are deemed unable to take control of their bodies
and their lives.
“The slogan ‘a woman’s right to choose’
should not have caveats. It should
apply, regardless of the stage of the
foetus, and regardless of what doctors or
the state think about the matter.”
Secondly, abortion clinics can charge
thousands of dollars for their services, excluding
women who don’t have the money,
or causing extreme stress for working class
women who are forced to sacrifice other things
in their lives to scrounge up the funds. And
thirdly, there are still limitations on late-term
abortions. The slogan ‘a woman’s right to
choose’ should not have caveats. It should
apply, regardless of the stage of the foetus, and
regardless of what doctors or the state think
about the matter.
It doesn’t help matters that mainstream
feminists concede to conservative arguments
that there are “too many” abortions, and that
we should aim to reduce them. This line of
argument merely agrees with the pro-lifers that
abortion is a bad thing; hence, that abortions
should be made more difficult to get.
Likewise, there are commentators who
claim that women are psychologically damaged
after having abortions. Having an abortion
is statistically much safer for women than
carrying a child to term, and obviously a hell
of a lot less physically demanding. Abortion
shouldn’t be a traumatic event, and the only
reason it is, and that women feel guilty after
having one, is because of the moral pressure on
women from a society that condemns abortions
and tells women who have them that they
are ‘selfish’ or ‘immoral’ for not nurturing the
foetus.
By far the most irksome anti-abortion argument
is one that comes up on campuses and
is preached by faux-intellectual philosophical
types who want to quote philistines like Don
Marquis and sit around angsting about whether
we can ever devise a syllogism that could
justify taking a human life. The preponderance
of these idiots – who have over my years
at Monash often written opinion pieces in
this very publication – strongly reinforces my
support for abortion.
Not only should we defend a woman’s
right to abortion without any caveats, we
should respond to the fact that there are more
abortions happening today positively. It is not
an ‘epidemic’, but rather an indication that
more women feel confident to take control of
their lives and their bodies, rejecting the sexist
view that women should sacrifice their needs
and their quality of life to those of a child.
This approach cuts against the sexist
stereotypes that a woman’s role in society is to
bear children, that having children is something
all women should aspire to, and that
women need children to be fulfilled in their
personal lives.
My position is that many more women
should be having abortions. It should be as
casual and accessible as getting a flu shot.
16 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS
PRO-LIFE
“A culture of life over a culture of death”
Richard Houlihan - Catholics on Campus
The Catholic Church advocates a culture
of life over a culture of death, which us why
we oppose abortion. This culture of life
comes from our faith and the teachings of
Jesus Christ, as we believe the gift of life is
derived from God’s love. This loving gift of
life manifests itself in the individual unique
value found in all people. Nowadays, we often
observe people reduced to a commodity:
devalued, without regard to human dignity.
As a result, a servant-slave mentality of who
should live and who should die prevails.
Instead of considering that life is a unique
and precious gift, the current social attitude
seems to find life expendable. This mentality
is enforced through popular culture and the
media, which desensitises our perceptions
of the value of life, even de-humanising
it. We have seen this in Britain, in the
form of selective eugenics where disturbing
information about late-term abortions and
the elimination of handicapped babies
was released in July 2011 by the British
government. It was shown that in England
and Wales there were a number of abortions
carried out on babies suffering from cleft
palates, club feet, and Downs Syndrome.
In 2007, Pope Benedict XVI, described
abortion as not only a “deep wound” in society,
but as the antithesis of a human right.
“The fundamental human right, the
presupposition of every other right, is the
right to life itself. This is true of life from the
moment of conception until its natural end.
Abortion, consequently, cannot be a human
right...it is the very opposite,” he said
“In stating this, I am not expressing a
specifically ecclesial concern. Rather, I am
acting as advocate for a profoundly human
need, speaking out on behalf of those unborn professionals who under law are required to
children who have no voice. I do not close abort pregnancies for health reasons. It seems
my eyes to the difficulties and the conflicts some now see the profession of medicine
which many women are experiencing, and I not as a vocation of service, but merely as
realise that the credibility of what we say also one of meeting the demands and ‘needs’
depends on what the Church herself is doing of the patient, even if those demands are
to help women in trouble.
unreasonable or not in the best interests of
“I say this out of a concern for
the patient. Such a view not only harms the
humanity”
patient, it harms physicians and, in turn,
For years, pro-choice activists have society.
claimed that they were about ‘choice’, a
We understand being anti-Christian
woman’s right to choose. They argue that today is becoming fashionable, but the fact
those of us who oppose abortion do not need remains that the Catholic Church is the
to have one if we do not wish to, but should oldest and largest provider of healthcare in the
not stop others. However, recently the debate world. Since the foundation of Christianity
has moved from “Our Bodies, Our Choice” to we have had a great tradition of care. Often
“My Choice, You Don’t have a Choice”. it has been a counter-cultural witness of
In demanding all women have access to love and solidarity. Abortion leaves many
and the right to abortion, Pro-Choice activists people shattered and grieving. Some people
strip the rights of doctors to conscientious mistakenly believe that legalising abortion will
objection. That is, a woman’s right to have remove some of the pain abortion can cause.
an abortion should not infringe on a doctors Instead of legalising abortion, we should be
right to object to performing one. Little is offering all those wounded and suffering the
said of the emotional effect on these medical hope of healing and peace.
Image: American Life League
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
17

INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS
THE BLACK PANTHER PARTY &
THE POLITICS OF RACISM
Constantinos Karavias
“We do not fight racism with racism. We fight racism with solidarity. We do not fight exploitative capitalism with black
capitalism. We fight capitalism with basic socialism. And we do not fight imperialism with more imperialism. We fight
imperialism with proletarian internationalism.”
A decade of war and occupation in the Middle-
East, six years and counting of dispossession
and apartheid through the Northern Territory
Intervention and an asylum policy that has
grown more and more sickening shows that
racism is still well and truly entrenched in
Australia. Things are no better overseas, thus
the need for agitation and active resistance to
racist oppression is clear.
2013 will mark the historic occasion of
the first Australian visit of a member of the
Black Panther Party in over twenty years. Billy
X Jennings, one of the Party’s most prominent
members will be coming to Melbourne to
speak alongside such guests as legendary
Indigenous activist Gary Foley and author and
documentarian John Pilger at the Marxism
2013 conference.
The Black Panther Party was formed in
1966 by students Huey P Newton and Bobby
Seale. The party oriented explicitly towards
self-defence and, in the context of the civil
rights movement, mass riots in ghettos, a
burgeoning anti-Vietnam war movement and
widespread radicalisation in society. It grew
rapidly, within three years had a membership
of 5,000, within five years the party paper had
a circulation of 250,000. The party developed
literacy and healthcare programs, provided
meals for over 10,000 poor black children and,
most famously, armed its members who tailed
the police, providing surveillance against police
brutality.
In the context of the civil rights
movemnet The Panthers are often contrasted
with Martin Luther King, depicted as
militant radicals, only interested in violence,
completely at odds with King’s pacifism. This
contrast only occurred relatively recently, for
at the time both the Panther movement and
King were vilified in often indistinguishable
ways. The FBI called the Panthers “the greatest
threat to the internal security of the country”,
while on the occasion of King’s renowned I
Have A Dream speech, the bureau dubbed him
“the most dangerous negro in the future of this
country”. King’s assassination was echoed in
the state murders and imprisonments of dozens
of leading Black Panther members, often on
fabricated charges. Many were killed by police
while they slept in their homes and many are
still in prison today.
More importantly, King and the Panthers
came to the same understanding of how racism
had to be fought. Each saw its origins in the
fundamental inequalities of capitalism, a system
centred on the exploitation of workers by the
ruling elite. King famously said “the problem
of racism, the problem of exploitation and the
problem of war are all tied together. They are
the triple evils that are interrelated”. While the
Panthers were revolutionary from the beginning,
Bobby Seale in his book Seize the Time
most eloquently summarizing their position.
“We do not fight racism with racism. We
fight racism with solidarity. We do not fight
exploitative capitalism with black capitalism.
We fight capitalism with basic socialism.
And we do not fight imperialism with more
imperialism. We fight imperialism with
proletarian internationalism.”
The Black Panthers’ uncompromising
opposition to the Vietnam War, collaboration
with worker’s organisations (such as the Dodge
Revolutionary Union Movement) and the
solidarity shown with the mobilisation of
oppressed groups, such as the barely beginning
gay liberation movement, all drew from this
fundamental understanding. All oppressed
peoples share a common struggle, and that the
divisions between them come from the ruling
class that oppresses them.
In a recent interview, Jennings, in
response to the question of whether the fight
against racism had progressed since the early
seventies, stated “Not at all. We’ve taken steps
back. Even civil rights, which were new at that
time — affirmative action, the Bakke decision,
things that people fought for — they’ve been
thrown away.” State attacks on the other hand
have been unremitting. The rate of African
American deaths in custody has grown to
eclipse the rate of lynchings in the 1860s. In
Australia, in the wake of the much publicised
Royal Commission into Aboriginal deaths in
custody 20 years ago, the rate of such deaths
has risen. Over 200 Indigenous Australians
have been killed by the police, without a
charge having ever been laid, aboriginal
children are 23 times more likely to be arrested
than non-Aboriginal children, the rate of
incarceration of Aboriginal women increased
by 20% last year, and Indigenous Australians
have a life expectancy seventeen years less
than non-Indigenous Australians.
The repulsiveness of these statistics must
be a spur for action against racism. Racism is
not something that just exists in people’s heads;
it is a form of oppression, institutionalised
and ingrained in the means and mechanisms
through which capitalism functions. The
politics of rebellion and revolt are still the
politics of all those looking to colostomize the
bigotry of the system and the manner in which
we fight is bourn forwards to us in the struggles
of the past.
The Marxism 2013 conference is being
held from 28th-31st of March. For information
about the conference and a full list of speakers
go to www.marxismconference.org
18 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS
THE RISE AND FALL OF
LANCE ARMSTRONG
Caelli Greenbank
Image: Anonymousview
On the whole, he’s really not a remarkable guy.
If you look at his physiological profile, his body
isn’t anything special. Socio-economically, he
grew up the only child of a teenage mother. So
how did Lance Armstrong become one of the
most powerful men in professional cycling and
the ringleader of the biggest organised doping
conspiracy that the world has ever seen?
Evidence suggests that it started early.
When he was diagnosed with testicular cancer
in October 1996, Armstrong was 25 years old
and had been racing professionally for five
years. Shortly prior to his diagnosis, he had
even signed a contract with one of the best pro
teams in the world. Though comparatively
young, he was already considered the next big
thing in American cycling, and it seems that
someone in Armstrong’s inner circle decided to
‘invest’ in the Texan’s future early.
Among the statements from 11 of Armstrong’s
former teammates on the US Postal
Service Team (the evidence that eventually
brought Armstrong down) is an account by
Frankie Andreu and his wife Betsy of an episode
in a hospital room shortly after his diagnosis.
The cyclist reportedly admitted having
used erythropoietin (EPO), testosterone,
human growth hormone, cortisone and steroids.
Andreu also mentioned that at the team
training camp in 1996, Armstrong had “bulked
up considerably” in his upper body. He was
already on an organised doping programme.
After 14 months of chemo, recovery
and intensive training, Armstrong joined
the US Postal Service Team for the 1998
racing season. His US Postal teammate Tyler
Hamilton writes in his 2012 autobiography,
The Secret Race, that Armstrong was even
more intense as both a rider and a person
during his comeback. He was ready to start
winning again. Hamilton also notes that
Armstrong had signed for the “relatively small
amount of $200,000 plus bonuses”. Hamilton
himself was getting paid much less at this
point. Armstrong was already a big enough
rider to demand the big bucks. By Hamilton’s
account, Armstrong was now the top rider
in the team, the one destined to bring the
best results, and since keeping him happy was
crucial to bringing in those results, he had a
lot of influence. Additionally, Armstrong coowned
the company that managed the team, so
it was only a few years before he was running
the show at US Postal. As Hamilton recounts
in detail, no one was hired or fired without
Armstrong’s say-so. Equipment, training
methods, doctors; everything was under his
control. He was the boss, and the other riders
simply accepted this – to go against Armstrong
and risk his displeasure would have meant
being sacked from the team. It was easier and
safer for them to simply accept Armstrong’s
authority and do their jobs. So when
Armstrong started hand-picking riders to join
an organised doping programme to lead him to
Tour de France victory, they just went along.
By the 2000s it wasn’t just the team
that Armstrong had under his thumb – his
influence extended throughout the cycling
world. In two well-known incidents,
Armstrong chased down Italian rider Filippo
Simeoni in a race after he testified against
him in court, forcing Simeoni to submit if
he wanted to ride a race again without being
chased down. Armstrong also pressured French
rider Christophe Bassons into abandoning the
1999 Tour de France after he wrote a column
for French sporting paper L’Equipe speaking
out against doping.
There was more. Armstrong was the
golden boy of cycling; a role model, an idol,
the best advertisement that the sporting world
could have asked for. So when he tested
positive for Cortisone at the 1999 Tour de
France and again at the 2005 Tour de Suisse
(as attested by Hamilton), the UCI accepted
a manufactured excuse the first time, and then
simply covered the whole thing up. As Hamilton
says, the UCI didn’t want to catch Lance
Armstrong. By then he had become so feared,
so respected and so powerful, that to speak
out against him was worth your career, and to
bring him down was worth the entire sport of
cycling. No one was game to attempt it.
That is, until one day, a man named Jeff
Novitzky from the United States Food and
Drug Administration got a phone call. The
sky was about to fall on Lance Armstrong’s
head.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
19

STUDENT AFFAIRS
THE FIGHT FOR CHEAPER PARKING
John Jordan- MSA Education (Public Affairs)
Since 2007, the Monash Student Association
Education (Public Affairs) Department has
been fighting to reduce the high cost of parking
on campus. Prior wins have included consulting
the university on the implementation of the
carpooling system, and allowing students to
purchase a six month permit rather than a
yearly permit, but the University has always
been staunchly rigid in reducing their parking
permit prices. But then again, they made a
$5,293,000 profit from parking fees in 2011,
why decrease it?
The price of yearly blue permits for 2013
is set to increase from $360 to $370, with the
University once again feebly citing “inflation”
as an excuse to hike up the prices. The problem
with this (regardless of the increase) is that
a $370 lump sum is not affordable for most.
Money doesn’t grow on trees!
If the current price was halved, paying
students would have an extra $185 in their bank
account, which can buy more than you might
think. $185 is approximately the cost of the pill
for 37 months, or it can buy 265 condoms. It
is two weeks rent, second hand textbooks for a
year. It equates to approximately 123 litres of
petrol, or the cost of attending our graduation
ceremony. You could attend Music On Menzies,
a Faculty Ball, and AXP in both semesters. It is
the equivalent of 98 pots of beer at Sir John’s
Bar, or 47 regular coffees at Artichoke and
Whitebait. In addition to these added bonuses,
this halved amount would allow more students
to afford parking facilities, which the Monash
Student Association (MSA) believes to be an
important step in mitigating the problems that
students face in accessing their education.
On the other hand, the University would
argue that since Clayton campus is serviced
by numerous buses, has developed the carpool
system, and allows free parking on the corner
of Wellington and Blackburn roads (the
Synchrotron) this shouldn’t be an issue. But
are these services really perfect? Let’s do a quick
analysis of what’s actually on offer.
Firstly, let’s talk about the obvious option,
$370 for a blue parking permit. Blue parking,
which you may already know, is the cheapest
parking permit on offer at Monash. Why?
Because it’s the farthest from the campus. Nice
one, Monash. But that aside, if you’re a student
living out of home working to support yourself –
with or without Centrelink – living pay to pay,
trying to make rent, saving almost $400 just for
parking is unfathomable.
Secondly, “free parking”. Sadly, the name
is deceptive, as competition for the minimal
parking space opposite the Synchrotron is
fierce unless you arrive early, and during wet
periods the poorly paved and grassy areas of
the parking complex become what students
refer to as “the swamp” – unparkable, unusable,
a waste of space. Additionally, after parking,
students have to hike up the hill to campus, and
10-15 minutes later arrive at their classes. Not
necessarily the best solution if you’re driving to
save yourself time on Public Transport.
Thirdly, carpooling. Carpooling seems to
“The University has always been
staunchly rigid in reducing their parking
permit prices. But then again, they made
a $5,293,000 profit from parking fees in
2011, why decrease it?”
be an amazing way to get free parking without
the walk, but there’s a catch – you need a buddy.
The system relies on the idea that “clearly every
day there are two people who drive in the exact
same direction at the exact same time”, and as
such fails to take into account the problems
that students face in accessing the service.
What if you have an insanely early class, and
none of your friends volunteer to come in early
to swipe you in? What if you have class in the
late afternoon and everyone’s already at Uni?
And even if you get there with a buddy after
12 pm, every staff member and student present
at Monash has already claimed the parking
spaces.
Students who cannot carpool, cannot find
a park at free parking, or cannot afford to pay
for a blue permit are then left at the mercy of
inefficient and lengthy journey on public transport.
For these students, this often means travel
times which can be greater than the time they
spend in classes (especially if they live in rural
or regional areas), or even missing classes due
to “bats flying in to train lines” or whatever else
our failed public transport system spins into an
excuse. Public transport also inhibits a student’s
ability to stay on campus for after-hours events
such as socials, club events, or just hanging out
with mates. This can be limiting on their ability
to socialise and can put them at risk of social
isolation – a problem that may affect their mental
health and study performance.
In light of this analysis, the question
remains, “If the alternatives are ineffective,
what can be done about parking?”
In 2012, Monash made an extra
$8,000,000 due to the SSAF (Student Services
and Amenities Fee) – the $273 that every
student pays at the start of semester – on top of
$5,293,000 parking fees revenue, which could
be used to fund, or at the very least subsidize,
parking. But did they? No! In 2013, Monash is
projected to make $3,000,000 more from the
SSAF by way of International students being
forced to pay the amount, but still refuse to
decrease the cost of parking.
The MSA Education (Public Affairs)
Department thinks this is a gross injustice, and
plans to campaign and rally in the second week
of first semester around the issue of parking
access and affordability. Come along and pick
up a sign, talk to other students about poor
parking at Monash, and sign a petition for the
University to decrease parking fees in 2014. The
more noise we make, and the more signatures
we get, the stronger our cause to Monash – and
the more likely we are to make a difference
to cash-strapped students, and their ability to
access their education.
If you would like to be involved in the planning
or coordination of this or future campaigns,
send an email to
msa-education@monash.edu.
20 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

STUDENT AFFAIRS
NO MORE DEMOCRACY AT MONASH?
Anthony Thomas
Over the past four months there have been significant
changes to Victorian law regarding the
governance of public universities.
Reports first emerged in October 2012
that the Baillieu government was to propose a
bill which would see no mandatory student or
staff representation on university councils.
According to the Monash University
website, the University Council at Monash is
“responsible for the overall superintendence of
the University with specific accountability...
for the University’s fulfillment of its role in the
Australian community”. In simple terms the
Council is the highest decision making body at
the University.
Traditionally councils include a number of
elected student and staff representatives. Over
the years, these elected representatives have
provided genuine input from the students and
staff who make up the university. However, under
the proposal, councils such as the University
Council at Monash, would instead be able
to decide whether to ‘appoint’ students and staff
as members.
There was opposition from some universities
against these changes, notably from the
Chancellor of the University of Melbourne,
Elizabeth Alexander. However, management at
Monash didn’t voice any concerns, thus we can
only surmise they support a reduction or removal
of elected staff and student representation.
Previously, the Monash University Act
gave power to Council to appoint members,
and, significantly, required elected staff and
student members. However, since the state government’s
change in legislation, any mention of
“election” is now substituted for by “appointment”,
or indeed, removed altogether. Furthermore,
there is now a requirement for government
appointed members to be equal to or
greater than the number of Council appointed
members. Therefore it should be noted that the
autonomy of the university from government is
also under attack.
Formerly the University Council at
Monash included two elected students and
three elected staff. A global email by the Chancellor
Alan Finkel on February 4, announced
that in future there will be one student member
and one staff member appointed to a 15-member
University Council. However, details of
how appointments will be determined are yet to
“be ironed out”.We would expect that the student
representatives elected last year would be
‘appointed’ by Council, but given the trend of
developments so far, a less satisfactory arrangement
would not be surprising. This is especially
“The next decision to be made by
Monash management is whether to
respect the democratic election process
by guaranteeing the appointment of the
elected student and staff representatives,
or to set an appointment process which
allows the Council to handpick ‘safe’
students and staff.”
true since all appointees must now have appropriate
“knowledge, skills and experience required
for effective working of Council”. This
is a very broad and vague requirement and thus
could easily be used to deny the appointment of
elected student and staff representatives.
The Monash response to the new legislation
is out of line with that of other Victorian
universities. At Deakin University, in December
council decided to appoint democratically
elected student and staff representatives. At
University of Melbourne, there will continue
to be three staff representatives and two student
representatives on council. While these
two universities have preserved some level of
democracy, what Alan Finkel describes as the
“community-focused’” approach has already
seen a reduced student and staff ratio on the
Council. Council at Monash, moreover, is
being painstakingly slow in coming to a decision
on how student and staff appointments
will work when compared with the councils at
Deakin and Melbourne. What needs to be emphasised
at this point is that the new legislation
in no way prevents university councils from appointing
the students and staff that have been
democratically elected by their peers; the actions
of the Councils at Deakin and Melbourne
should demonstrate this definitively.
While we can be happy that student and
staff membership of Monash University Council
has not been removed altogether, the nature
of this membership is still to be determined.
Other universities, despite the opportunity
presented to them to make changes, have recognized
that democratically elected representatives
are a valuable way in which management
can engage with students and staff.
The next decision to be made by Monash
management is whether to respect the democratic
election process by guaranteeing the appointment
of the elected student and staff representatives,
or to set an appointment process
which allows the Council to handpick ‘safe’
students and staff. Concerned students and staff
should send an email with any queries to Alan
Finkel (alan.finkel@monash.edu) and keep an
eye on the Facebook Monash Uni Watch page.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
21

STUDENT AFFAIRS
A RESPONSE FROM STAFF & STUDENT
REPRESENTATIVES
University Council is the governing body of Monash University. Its responsibilities include deciding where the University spends its money,
appointing the Vice-Chancellor and monitoring their performance, deciding the overall direction of and approving long-term plans for the University,
as well as overseeing and monitoring the academic activities of the University.
On February 7, democratically elected students and staff from the Monash community across the globe signed the following letter in support of
having democratically elected student and staff positions on University Council:
We, the undersigned elected representatives of a range of student and staff organisations, welcome the Chancellor’s recognition that
Monash University is a community-focused organisation, and that University Council is keenly aware of the importance of ensuring
that staff and students have a voice in the governance of the University. We also welcome the decision to increase the size of Council
to 15 members and to include one student and one staff member.
Our remaining concern is the process by which the student and staff members are selected. While it seems a small obstacle,
there is a great difference between ‘appointment’ and ‘election’ when selecting members, and it is concerning that at Monash,
traditional democratic principles have so far been completely ignored. Other universities have found democratic solutions to the
Victorian Parliament’s new legislation which mandated that staff and students no longer have elected places on Council. Deakin
University Council for example agreed unanimously in its meeting in December to appoint democratically-elected student and staff
representatives.Similarly, University of Melbourne Council has retained all five of its elected representatives, three staff and two
students, reclassifying them as ‘Council Fellows’ rather than Council members. Standing Resolution of Council 1.1.9 has further
details.
Just as we support democracy in our local, state and federal governments, in our primary and high schools through School
Councils and in community organisations in general through having boards of governance elected by members, we believe democracy
is essential in governance at Monash.
Importantly, the election process would help to ensure that the student and staff members of University Council are those who
have the support of their respective staff and student communities and whom they trust will work in their best interests to ensure a
harmonious workplace, an improved learning environment and in turn a better university. The trust and goodwill that is fostered
between the Council and the university community by the election process, and the commitment to transparency, consultation and
accountability that it shows, is critical if the Council is to continue to be relevant to and have the support of the staff and students it
seeks to serve.
We believe that one of the most important skills that any staff or student member can bring to the Council is their ability to
be able to consult with their constituencies and communicate to Council the viewpoints of the broader staff and student bodies,
ensuring that the Council’s decisions are well-informed and relevant to the needs of the university community. The University of
Melbourne Council, clearly aware of this, has articulated it particularly well in Standing Resolution 1.1.4 (4).
A meeting between the Chancellor, Council Membership Committee and democratically-elected staff and student representatives
has been proposed. We look forward to reporting to you the outcomes of the meeting.
The signatories below have all been democratically elected and hold the mandate of their respective constituencies.
Warm regards,
Carol Williams [Elected University Council academic staff representative], Jeffrey Bender [Elected University Council professional staff
representative], Ali Majokah [Elected University Council student representative], Artemis Niaros [Student representative (undergraduate),
Academic Board] Ben Knight [Student representative (undergraduate), Academic Board], Nicholas Kelly [Student representative (postgraduate),
Academic Board],Phil Andrews [President, National Tertiary Education Union, Monash branch], Freya Logan [President, Monash Student
Association (Clayton)], John Murphy [President, Monash University Student Union Caulfield], Catherine Altson [Acting President, Monash
University Student Union Peninsula], Ben Rogers [Monash University Gippsland Student Union], Hayden Devanny [President, Monash Union
of Berwick Students], Joanne Cheah [President, Monash Parkville Students Association], Melvin Shawn D’Silva [President, Monash University
Student Association (Malaysia)], Raphael Mbonimpa [President, Monash University South Africa Student Association]
22 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

STUDENT AFFAIRS
A RESPONSE FROM
THE CHANCELLOR
When external circumstances change it is essential to work within the
obligations of those changes to achieve the best outcomes. In November
last year, the Victorian parliament passed new legislation that altered the
composition of the Councils of all Victorian universities. By far the most
significant change for universities was that elected positions for staff and
students were discontinued, effective 1 January 2013.
A side effect of this change in Monash University’s case was that
our Council size was legislatively reduced from 14 to 11 members at the
start of this year.
In anticipation of these changes to Council’s size and composition,
last year Council asked a small working group of Council members,
headed by one of our Deputy Chancellors, to consult with staff, students
and fellow Council members. Informed by the report from this working
group, at its first meeting this year Council decided three major responses
to the new legislation.
First, we agreed that we would increase our size from 11 to 15, to
ensure that we have sufficient members to bring a broad-based skill set
and a diverse set of views to Council deliberations.
Second, we resolved to appoint a student and a staff member to
Council. These new members will be selected for their skills, experience
and ability to bring insight to Council that will help Council to
deliberate and govern for the benefit of the whole university. In deciding
the selection criteria for appointing student and staff members we will be
cognisant of what is happening at other universities but we will do what
we believe is proper under the legislation and particularly what is best for
Monash University.
Third, to strengthen the voice of students on Council, we agreed
that we will develop a consultative process to further understand the issues
of concern to the student body. Through this process I look forward
to Council hearing from time to time from presidents of student associations
and other student leaders.
The process for appointing a student and a staff member to Council
will be consistent with the legislation, and developed in the first instance
by our Membership Committee then decided by Council in one of its
upcoming meetings.
Our student and staff members will participate in all deliberations
and will have full voting rights on all Council matters.
As a result of these anticipated appointments, Council meetings
will have the benefit of student and staff input at all of its future meetings.
Some members of the University community argue that the
elimination of elected student and staff representatives on Council will
undermine democracy at Victorian universities. This is not so. Universities
are managed by the Vice-Chancellor and his or her executive staff.
The role of Council is to review and approve the strategy and budget
proposed by management. Further, we ensure that the core roles of the
university to educate, conduct research and contribute to our community
are an essential part of the strategy and properly provided for in
the budget. We monitor progress throughout the year and we challenge
management to meet and exceed its goals.
Good governance requires that there be a broad skill set and
knowledge base among the members of Council, and we believe that this
skill set should include an intimate understanding of education, research,
community needs, operations, finance, commerce and strategy. All
members of Council should bring their unique skill set to the table for
the purpose of maximising outcomes for the whole of the university. Our
approach to dealing with the recently legislated changes will achieve this
intention.
Our overriding goal in our response to the new legislation is to
constructively determine the best way forward for Monash University,
operating in a financially difficult environment, but always with the
intention of providing the best educational and research opportunities
for students and staff.
Alan Finkel- Chancellor
Monash University
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
23

STUDENT AFFAIRS
NATIONAL UNION
OF STUDENTS?
DEBATABLE
Frida Komesaroff
This article is not a report on the proceedings of the National Union
of Students conference at the end of last year. It is a personal reflection
on what I found there. I went naively to the conference as a fourth-year
Arts/Economics student to participate in something that I thought could
be the key to bringing the fragmented student body together. I imagined
that out of this conference might come a strong coalition of passionate
students wanting to fight increased executive control over university
courses, increases in HECS, a stagnant Youth Allowance and a myriad
of other issues. I imagined energy and debate and strength. I was elected
as one of six delegates to the NUS conference in the MSA elections in
September 2012, and I was excited to go.
The NUS conference happens annually
in December, bringing together delegates from
around Australia in one place to discuss the
policies that the Union will endorse, and vote
for the office bearers who will represent the
Union for the coming year. The NUS has a long
history of campaigning and action on behalf
of Australian university students. Since its
inception in the 1930s it has been vital in coordinating students to fight
for issues that matter to them. For example, it was involved in the fight
for abortion rights in the 1960s, the anti-Vietnam War protests in the
1970s and anti-uranium mining campaigns in the 1980s.
The NUS has also played another role: acting as a breeding ground
for Australia’s next political class. University politics has always been
in some respects a place where aspiring politicians hone their skills and
prepare themselves for entering public life. It is a perfect place to practice
public speaking and negotiation, and to develop one’s views about the
world.
It is sad, then, that after attending the conference I feel I can
only say that the NUS has lost its pertinence as an assembling body for
students and this second role has taken precedent. What is left of the
‘Union’ is a society of young politicians vying for a place in the ranks
of the Labor party. The conference is not only attended by the Laborsympathetic
(there are also Liberals, Greens, Socialist Alternatives
and a smattering of other political persuasions); Labor students hold a
“The National Union
of Students must once again
become a true union. It needs
to cut ties with the established
political parties and become about
students, not politics.”
majority. This means that in practice, if the two ‘factions’ of Labor students
(Labor-right and Labor-left)decide to work together, then all the other
participants are made redundant. This is exactly the situation that arose
during last year’s conference.
The four day meeting proceeds in a slightly unorthodox manner for a
conference: The morning is devoted to private meetings between factions
and negotiations aimed at garnering support for office-bearer candidates or
certain policy platforms. Sessions devoted to discussing and voting on policy
are held from 1:30pm until dinner at 6pm and then again from 7:30 until
late. That’s how it’s supposed to run. Part of the reason the formal sessions
of the conference did not begin until 1:30pm is
that a great number of participants (especially
the larger factions), spend their nights drinking
and roaming around the La Trobe campus singing
semi-political chants. Due to the high proportion
of killer hangovers the next morning no breakfast
is served and the first meal of the day is lunch at
12. Let me repeat: no breakfast is served at the
conference because too many people spend all
night drinking and no one ever shows up. At the risk of sounding like a
party-pooper, how is a national union supposed to enjoy the respect of other
students, let alone the wider community, if one of the main activities of a
conference that universities pay over $500 a head for is getting drunk?
Anyway, negotiations in the morning consist of meetings between the
‘negotiators’ delegated by each faction. Negotiators discuss alliances with
other factions and then report back to their caucus what has been proposed
by the other party. The aim of these informal meetings is to shore up support
for the key positions coveted by each faction. For example, Labor-right want
their person in the position of President but are not that interested in the
Queer office so they are willing to vote our person for Queer if we vote for
their President. In three days of negotiations, there was a lot of to-ing and
fro-ing between different factions, until finally Labor-right and Labor-left
struck a deal to support each other. This meant that the other factions no
longer held much of hope of gaining a position, unless graced by the favour
of the ruling coalition.
The afternoon and evening sessions of the conference were devoted to
24
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

STUDENT AFFAIRS
policy discussion and voting. This process involved a ‘Mover’, who would
present the policy they were proposing; and a ‘Seconder’, who provided
extra arguments for accepting the policy. Then the floor was open to
people who wished to speak in favour or against the policy. Finally, the
policy would be voted upon.
This part of the conference was what I had been most looking
forward to: politically involved students all interested in the future of
university education and student life in Australia, debating what their
union should focus on for the coming year. While there was some fiery
debate, I was struck by the lack of good faith with which the whole
procedure was conducted. So many personal attacks outweighed respectful
and interesting debate, and at times the whole thing descended into a
downright shit-fight.
Moreover, it emerged that while many new policies were accepted
– a great proportion of them unanimously – no one really took them
seriously, as the expectation that they would actually be implemented was
very low. In other words, most people voted for most policies because they
didn’t care. It probably wouldn’t make a difference anyway. Although I’m
sure the leaders of NUS would beg to differ, I am yet to see any evidence
of implementation of policy on Monash Clayton campus.
Despite the obvious problems with the NUS conference, I must
stress that some of the policies put forward for discussion were genuinely
thoughtful and innovative, and addressed the changing and expanding
demographic that is the Australian university student. Emphasis was
placed on increased costs of living and low government help for students,
future challenges facing students and the experiences of students from
different cultural backgrounds. After a small coup by a number of factions,
Women’s policy was comprehensively discussed too.
Another positive aspect of the conference was that I found many
people there who, like me, had come hoping to be involved in something
empowering and relevant. The discussions I had with these people, most
of whom are involved in campaigns and political projects of their own,
were heartening. Most exciting was a meeting held by a large group of
women from across a number of different factions, where we rejected the
idea of belonging solely to one ‘party’ and made plans to work together in
the future, across political lines. That there are many people who reject
this traditional (and, I would venture to say, outdated) view of ‘politics’
stopped me from losing hope in student activism entirely.
But I think the meaning of a ‘National Union of Students’ must
be thoroughly dissected before (if ever) it can become pertinent again.
While a national union was effective and involving in the past, I think
it is clear that the current model is not working. Outside a select group
of young people who are either a) involved in some ‘young’ version of a
major political party or b) involved in other general activist or political
activities, the evidence indicates that no one in the student population
really gives a damn about the NUS.
The National Union of Students must once again become a true
union. It needs to cut ties with the established political parties and become
about students, not politics. Of course these two are intimately connected,
but real politics is debate about society, not play-acting Canberra’s
parliament. We already have too much low-level political point-scoring
and slander in national parliament, why do we have to create more of it at
uni? A national union of students could be a platform to show that people
from all backgrounds and political persuasions can talk to each other
and work together for the thing that is most important to all of them:
education. No matter where we come from, or where we want to be when
we finish university, we all share the same title of ‘student’ for a few years
while we make our way to our respective goals. This is an opportunity to
create something new and potent.
I don’t have a lot of hope for the current NUS, and perhaps the
reality is that the era of national unions has passed. It seems people prefer
to join specific campaigns as they arise rather than be involved in student
life in a more general way. But I fear that this might end up in 2013 with
an Abbott government succeeding in doing even more and more damage
to student services and educational independence. Perhaps the gradual
disappearance of Arts degrees, rising class sizes or increasingly feeble
government help for students will finally make us realise that we need to
work together, that these goals span the whole political spectrum.
I believe that some kind of national alliance of students is possible
and I also believe there are enough students like me in universities across
Australia who think it’s possible. What we need now is to cut the crap of
playing politics and actually do something useful.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
25

STUDENT AFFAIRS
UPTOWN KIDS ON LOWLIFE
BUDGET
Hannah Barker
It’s the beginning of a new academic calendar
in Melbourne, which means the annual scuttle
for students living away from home to secure
accommodation for the year is upon us. For
those who will not be residing with parents or
on-campus, moving out is rarely the idealistic
adventure we first imagined it would be. The
perfect abode is difficult to find and even harder
to afford – especially on a student budget. It
should be noted first that in Australia we are
extremely fortunate not to have been drastically
affected by the Global Financial Crisis. In fact
just last month financial statisticians ranked
Australia among the “best countries to be born
(in) in 2013”, second only to Switzerland,
based on the reported quality-of-life index and
national wealth. On top of that, Melbourne
maintains its grand title as the World’s Most
Liveable City.
But you get what you pay for – and we
are certainly paying for it. According to the
Economist Intelligence Unit, Melbourne was
ranked as the eighth most expensive city in the
world in 2012. Accounting for food, clothing,
rent, transport, utility bills and recreational
costs, the survey places Melbourne’s cost
of living higher than the likes of London,
Rome, New York, Berlin, Hong Kong, Beijing,
Shanghai and Rio de Janeiro.
Most universities publish a guide summarising
the average ongoing costs associated
with independent living.
According to Monash’s current report, a
three-person rental agreement would see each
person paying around $7800 in yearly rent,
$3000 on travel, $4200 on groceries and bills,
$3600 on meals, $1200 on university (including
books, stationery etc.), $960 on clothing, and
a further $4200 on entertainment and personal
items. Together with the cost of establishing the
house (bond, internet and utilities connections
and furniture etc.), this brings Monash’s yearly
estimate just short of a terrifying $28 000.
This figure doesn’t take into account the
expected 33% increase in costs from water
retailers by the end of this financial year –
taking the annual cost up to around $1000 per
household.
It also seems to underestimate the total
annual energy bills for a medium-sized Melbourne
property, which is reported to be around
$2375.
“We often end up settling for a
house a little further – or perhaps
a little closer – to Clayton than we
would really like, or one where the
third bedroom is in fact the linen
cupboard. Penthouse dreams
become a rundown cubbyhouse
existence.”
It definitely doesn’t mention the
exorbitant cost of parking at Monash for
those who are already paying to own, run and
maintain a vehicle, not to mention the 9% hike
in Myki fares which we have been suffering
since January.
We also won’t mention the fact that rental
costs have risen by up to 12% in the last few
years, and continue to slither sneakily higher.
As students who typically walk a complex
line between hedonism and malnutrition, what
does this mean for our lowly budgets?
It means we are forced to make
compromises between the lives we imagined
we’d be leading as fancy-free but totally-incontrol
students, and the lives we can afford.
Firstly, showing up to a rental inspection
can be daunting when your competition is a
series of yuppie couples and their impeccably
dressed children. Complications can arise when
convincing a real estate agent that you and your
roomies-to-be can actually cough up enough
moolah to pay rent on some kind of “regular”
basis, especially when your only promotion this
month was from dish-pig to kitchen-hand.
Consequently we often end up settling
for a house a little further – or perhaps a little
closer – to Clayton than we would really like,
or one where the third bedroom is in fact the
linen cupboard. Penthouse dreams become a
rundown cubbyhouse existence.
Once we do have a household established
and have become accustomed to fulfilling
payment deadlines, we learn to budget the
rest of our costs. Thankfully most energy and
water providers allow a discount for concession
cardholders or else when the bills roll in we
would be, in simple terms, screwed. Domestic
and personal items baring that ominous
Homebrand label make their way into our
homes, and our tastebuds adjust to a diet based
on supermarket specials. That said, beer and
wine are often mysteriously exempt to this rule.
We learn when water consumption
fees are lowest and coordinate our late-night
laundry session as such, and we learn to refine
our melodramatic performance techniques at
Centrelink in a bid to scrounge more money
from the government.
Even so, it is necessary for most of us to
commit x-number of hours per week to casual or
part-time work in order to cover costs. It’s not
like we were planning to spend that time, like,
studying, or whatever.
Such is life.
Luckily we have our housemates to commiserate
with to the point of celebration, every
night of the week. After all, we do inhabit ‘the
World’s Most Liveable City’.
Happy House Warming, Monash!
26 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

STUDENT AFFAIRS
A NEWBIE’S GUIDE TO BETTER
STUDENT BANKING
Shaun Leung
Look inside any uni student’s wallet and you’ll
probably find 4 common items:
1. Some “buy one get one free” vouchers
2. A concession card
3. A loyalty card for the cafe on campus
4. An ATM card
Let’s face it, an average student’s wallet isn’t
fat with cash, so we put quite a bit of effort
to save that extra dime. But unlike the first 3
items, we don’t often see our bank account as a
way to save money, and shockingly, Australians
pay $600 million in ATM fees
every year. So we really should
be paying more attention to our
bank account.
Sure, looking for savvy
student bank accounts won’t
be as fun as bargain hunting for
iGadgets. But just like iPods,
everyday transaction accounts
come in all shapes and sizes. So how
do you know which bank account
is right for you? Independent
financial comparison website
Mozo recommends choosing an
account that’s designed for your
spending habits so you can avoid
paying extra fees and charges.
The Online Shopaholic
If you’re idea of retail therapy involves a
computer screen, look for a bank account that’s
friendly to online shoppers. You won’t be able
to make EFTPOS payments online, so sign up
to any account that gives you a Mastercard or
VISA debit card free of charge.
And if your favourite online stores are based
overseas, check to see how much you’ll pay for
foreign currency exchange commission fees.
The standard commission is 3.00% so if you’re
paying more, you’re paying too much!
The IOU(er)
Got lots of bills to pay each month? You’ll
definitely want a bank account that comes with
unlimited transactions and flexible payment
options such as phone and internet banking.
Also dig around to find banks that offer extra
niceties such as BPAY and PostBill payment
options free of charge. These features are mighty
helpful for paying utility bills.
Image: Ken Leegardin
Cash Kings and Queens
If you’re the type of person that still prefers using
coins and banknotes, make sure your bank has
a large ATM network so you can access your
money everywhere without paying high ATM
fees. This doesn’t necessarily mean you must
stick with a big bank though, many smaller
banks share ATMs with the Big 4 banks, and
some online banks even reimburse you the fees
when you withdraw over a set amount!
The Jetsetter
Planning on globetrotting later in the year?
You’ll need a bank account that stretches your
hard earned dollars further. Many banks charge
as much as $5 for overseas ATM withdrawals
but if you look hard, you’ll find some banks that
only charge $2.50 for the privilege. If you don’t
like carrying cash and prefer to pay by card, get a
Mastercard or Visa debit card with competitive
foreign exchange commissions. Better yet,
use a prepaid travel card that locks in foreign
exchange rates before you travel!
The Super saver
If you’re an A+ student with your
finances and have extra money at
the end of each month, remember
to dump your excess savings in a
high interest savings account.
Through the magic of compound
interest, your piggy bank will
fatten up in no time so you won’t
have to rely on coupons and
vouchers for your morning coffee.
As a full time student, you
shouldn’t be paying any account
keeping fees on your bank
account. Most banks waive their
fees so simply flash your student
ID and smile at the bank teller. Remember,
avoiding extra fees and charges means more
money in your wallet to be spent on more
important things...like iGadgets!
Shaun Leung writes for mozo.com.au, an
independent website that compares hundreds of
banking and insurance products in Australia.
Check out the Mozo Student Room, a resource hub
designed for students to help answer all their money
matters.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
27

STUDENT AFFAIRS
MONASH UNIVERSITY COMMUNITY
FARM OPEN FOR BUSINESS
Fabian Culcian & Jess Turnbull
It has been a busy, hot summer at the Martin Street home of the Monash University Community Farm (MUCFarm). Officially opening in November,
the farm was the culmination of years of planning by the student collective. A dedicated group of volunteers have been meeting weekly, planting,
chatting in the shade and, recently, harvesting produce. The grand opening on November 25th, included tours, speeches, food and the ceremonial
planting of a donated bay laurel tree. It was well attended by student volunteers, members of the Notting Hill Community Association and University
officials. For many, this was the first time they had seen the site and was an opportunity to reflect on the amazing things happening on university
grounds.
This year will be a big year for the MUCFarm. We have been awarded generous grants to develop an adequate and reliable water source and also
to put up signage at the Monash Permaculture Garden at Clayton. We will be running professional garden workshops throughout the year to improve
skills of current volunteers and to train the new recruits. Whether you’re a hobby gardener, a greenie, an aspiring survivalist or you just want to impress
your mum with useful new skills like maintaining a website, keeping accounts or running events, all are welcome to get involved.
Visit us at eatmonash.org.au, join us on Facebook or check the sign in the MPG for upcoming opportunities.

STUDENT AFFAIRS
DANCING YOUR WAY TO BETTER
MARKS
Bilin Zhou - Monash Dance Sport
The start of semester is just around the corner
and for most of us, this tends to bring back
memories of late night cramming and the
never ending pile of assessments. Dancing is
a great way to not only minimise this stress
but also to improve your physical and mental
health. Whether it’s just a quick stretch or
learning a whole Argentine Tango routine,
this fun way of exercising is bound to keep
you fit. Classes and socials are also fantastic
places to meet new people and have lots of fun,
even if you have two left feet or your current
repertoire consists only of the Macarena. For
those that are of a more competitive nature
or wish to pursue dance professionally, there
are also plenty exams, competitions and
performances to take part in.
After long days hunched over a
computer, a dance class can do wonders for
your posture and flexibility. Styles such as Jazz,
Contemporary or Ballet focus on improving
these aspects as well as your balance, strength
and muscle tone which is important for
remaining in good physical health. Timing and
beats are also important components of any
Tap or Hip Hop routine. Other styles such as
Salsa, Latin, Ballroom and Swing focus more
on partner work, coordination and as well
as improving your aerobic fitness. Not only
will taking part in these classes improve your
physical health, they will also build your social
skills and help form long-lasting friendships.
Many Monash students take what they have
learnt in class and go social dancing at places
such as The Night Cat to meet new people and
practice their skills. Studies have also shown
that regular dancing helps boost one’s memory,
diminishes depression and reduces stress. A fun
way to work out your body and your brain!
For those who have never taken a dance
class before, choosing the type of dance to
start off can be a bit confusing. Ask yourself
whether you want to dance by yourself, in
a group or with a partner. Do you enjoy fast also advise you in what to wear.
or slow dancing and is it to improve mainly
Medal classes can be taken by students
flexibility and coordination or fitness? Are you who wish to be assessed in styles such as Latin,
seeking to compete or just doing it for fun? For Ballroom and New Vogue, while external
example, if you enjoy doing jumps, kicks and assessments are available for other styles such
turns, taking Jazz classes would be a great way as Ballet and Jazz. An annual Intervarsity
to improve them, while Salsa or Latin classes competition is also held between Monash
would be more suited to people who enjoy and Melbourne Uni students, while the
fast paced partner dancing. The easiest way Performance Night provides an opportunity for
to determine what kind of dancing suits you students to showcase the skills developed and
best is to just join a class and go for it. Monash routines they have learnt. Taking part in such
Dance Sport currently offers 24 different extracurricular activities is a lot of fun and is
classes a week and welcomes people of all a great way to meet students from different
different levels to come and try out different faculties.
styles in a friendly environment. Generally all Dancing is something that I would
you will need for a dance class is comfortable recommend to people of all ages and skill
clothes and a water bottle, although some levels. It is a fun way of keeping fit and will
styles may require you to wear certain shoes give your physical health, social skills and
such as Tap shoes or Ballet slippers. When academic outlook a positive boost. I hope to
performing or competing, your teacher may see you dancing soon!
Clockwise from top left: Argentine Tango, Salsa, Modern Jive, Ballet. Images: Benjamin Ho
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
29

STUDENT AFFAIRS
MSA OFFICE BEARER REPORTS
President: Freya Logan
Hi everyone! I am your president for
2013, and so excited to get into it. Myself and
all the office-bearers have been planning a
bumper year for you all including things such
as MSA Member’s Week, Sex and Consent
week, weekly activity nights and a whole lot
more! I have also been meeting with faculty
deans to talk about education quality and
mental health as well as many people in the
University to introduce myself and make sure
that they know they have a strong body that
keeps them accountable to students. In addition
I will be organizing a few hours a week in
which I will leave my President’s door open
for students to drop by and let me know their
concerns!
2013 will see more tangible changes from
the SSAF funding – projects such as renovations
to the MUISS, Queer and Women’s
lounges and new Clubs and Societies lockers
will be seen throughout the year.
It’s looking to be an exciting year and if
you want to get involved with anything and
any aspect of the MSA let us know!
Treasurer: Samantha Towler
Welcome to those who are new, and welcome
back to those returning! A month in and
the MSA is in full swing, getting ready for an
exciting and busy 2013. My first few weeks of
being treasurer have been busy to say the least,
with a lot of learning, planning and organising.
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to become
well acquainted with budgets, requisitions and
reports to learn how to keep track of the MSA
finances. Enrolments saw a spectacular intake
of new MSA members and I look forward to
an exciting O-Week, MSA Members Week
and Music on Menzies to start of the semester.
I’ll be working hard with departments and the
executive to help coordinate these events. One
my first projects for the year has been organising
the Second Hand Book Fair with the Welfare
officer. This will allow students to buy and
sell second hand books during the first week
of semester through the MSA (saving some
money). It won’t be long until Semester starts
up, and members have a lot to look forward to
and be excited about in the year ahead.
Secretary: Ben Zocco
Hi everyone! My name is Ben and I am
your elected MSA Secretary for 2013. This
the first of many reports I’ll be making to
Lot’s Wife about the work the MSA is doing
this year. So far, myself and the rest of the
office-bearing team have been settling into
our offices and planning an amazing year for
everyone at Monash. In particular, I have been
assisting with coordinating the first year enrolment
process and got to talk to many first years
about the key issues facing university students
in Australia. I also have been busy with helping
to plan the MSA’s Orientation Festival
– one of the best weeks of the year! - as well as
working with the President and the Treasurer
in keeping the wheels of the MSA turning on
a day-to-day basis. If you have any questions
about the MSA, please feel free to drop by my
office in the Campus Centre or come and chat
to myself and the rest of the MSA office-bearers
during O’Week. I hope you are all looking
forward to a fantastic 2013!
Education (Academic Affairs): Ben Knight
Welcome back to Monash, and for some
of you, welcome to your new academic life!
The Academic Affairs office works to ensure
student concerns are listened to and taken
into consideration. If you have any questions
or issues with the University regarding your
degree, availability of units, or conflicts with
the University, we’d love to hear from you.
Over the last month I’ve been facilitating
and organising student volunteers as representatives
for Academic Progress Committees.
These committees decide outcomes for students
who have had unsatisfactory progress in
their degree. Just remember if you’re struggling
at all, there are plenty of resources available to
assist you through your degree, like the Health
and Wellbeing Hub, workshops for study skills
in the libraries, the Disability Liaison Unit,
and the MSA Student Rights Officers. Early
action is the best prevention for failing units.
The Academic Affairs department is also
heavily involved with reforming and introducing
new University policies and protocol.
Recently I’ve been working on developing
more scholarships for students, lobbying the
University to provide ICT training, as well
as continuing our fight for 100% recorded
lectures!
Education (Public Affairs):
Sarah Christie & John Jordan
The Education (Public Affairs) Depart-
30 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

STUDENT AFFAIRS
ment has hit the ground running, with the
Counter-Faculty Handbook finished and ready
for distribution by the start of HOST Scheme
Camps! Students should check out its pages for
helpful reviews of their 2013 subjects, and an
introduction to the MSA.
Education (Public Affairs) has also
started work on O-Week student engagement,
including stalls, goody bags, signing students
up to activist email networks and distributing
the Counter-Faculty Handbook. This will be
followed by a Parking Campaign in Weeks 1 &
2 which aims to win a decrease in the already
exorbitant $370 that students pay every year.
Environment & Social Justice:
Rory Knight & Tamara Vekich
The ESJ department started the year off
with a trip to the ASEN(Australian Student
Environment Network) camp in late January.
Like-minded students from several Aussie
universities got together and collaborated on
environmental ideas and proposals.The ESJ
student collective is also up and running with
two meetings having been held already since
the start of 2013. The student collective is
open to any students interested in environment
and social justice to attend. It is a chance to
meet like-minded people, hear different opinions
on current and controversial topics and
find out about the campaigns we are running or
endorsing in 2013. This will be conducted in
an atmosphere of respect and appreciation of
our opinions and differences.
The ESJ department is hoping to this year
bring more focus on campaigns to campus related
issues. Social justice wise, some of our ideas
are: promoting fair trade coffee and tea as the
standard for campus centre retailers, lowering
costs of sports memberships for students and
efforts to bring about a second hand textbook
avenue on campus after the long standing book
co-op shop closed last year.
Environmental issues to tackle include reducing
plastic bottles used and sold on campus,
more emphasis on sustainability in take-away
items etc.
Of course those are only a few examples,
come say hi to us to find outmore! We can be
found in the ESJ office on first floor of campus
centre next to Lot’s Wife office. If we are out
and about, email or call us at: 9905 4137
Welfare: Alexandra Bryant
Hello all, this year should be a good one
for Welfare! The year is kicking off with the
MSA Second-hand Book Fair. There’s also Free
Food Mondays in the Airport Lounge at 7:30
starting from Week 1 to look forward to. Look
out for Survival Week in Week 4 with the
Trash & Treasure Ball on the Thursday night.
Welfare is here to help you out when you need
it and if you want to help out others then
Welfare has plenty of opportunities. Enjoy
O-week and I hope to see you round.
Male Queer: Asher Cameron
After tidying up the office and getting
ready to start the year off, our community was
met with the tragic loss of an ex-Monash queer.
This horrible news has driven me to work really
hard this year combating the stigma surrounding
mental health and its prevalence in the
Queer community. In response to this, we’ve
organized some workshops during the Welfare
Department’s Survival Week (March 25-29,
academic week 4) on mental health awareness,
SAFEtalk and mental health in the queer community.
Remember, it gets better!
During academic week 3 we are working in
conjunction with the Women’s department
to present Sex+Consent week, looking at all
things sex positive and reminding you that
consent is sexy. Disability activist Jax will be
coming along in that week to present fuckability,
a workshop on all things disability, sex
and queer.
We had a fantastic turnout at Pride March this
year, which will hopefully see the development
of a cross-campus queer network! I’ve been
working with both state and national NUS
queer officers to ensure Victoria is the place to
be for queer.
One last thing to look forward to, is the
amazing Queer Lounge refurbishment coming
between semesters! Shhh, it’s super secret!
Female Queer: Cam Peter
I’ve started the year brimming with
excitement and enthusiasm that will hopefully
see me well throughout the year. Unfortunately,
this year began with the tragic loss of a member
of our queer community at Monash, an exstudent.
This tragedy has affected many of
us and emphasised the importance of mental
health issues within the queer community. In
response, Asher and myself have organised a
series of mental health awareness workshops
coming up in Survival Week, including
“safeTALK” and “Mental Health Awareness
Training”.
We have also been busy organising a
fundraising outline for the coming semester in
order to raise money for Queer Collaborations,
an annual queer conference aimed at tertiary
students. The Queer Dept. is aiming to send a
large contingent to QC in Sydney this year in
order to lay the groundwork for a potential
bid for the conference in future, and educate
and engage a broader spectrum of students. We
have a fundraiser coming up on Tuesday
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
31

STUDENT AFFAIRS
MSA OFFICE BEARER REPORTS
the 19th of March, entitled “A Night at the
Pictures”, a film trivia night that features a
performance by jazz singer Ilana Charnelle. We
hope to see you there!
The Queer Dept. is again organising regular
Collective meetings that will be publicised on
our facebook page and our twitter, as well as
weekly morning teas on Wednesday at noon.
Look out for us at O-Week, we’ll be there to
answer your questions and tell you about the
department! http://twitter.com/MSAQueer
Women’s Department: Adria Castellucci
& Sally-Anne Jovic
The Women’s Department is full of
exciting happenings this semester: we’ve begun
our endeavour to get trigger warnings into the
curriculum; we’re planning an event a week,
including crafternoons, film screenings and a
book club; and we’re holding the first MSA
Sex and Consent Week in Week 3! It will be
a week of workshops and discussion around
tons of sex- and relationship-related topics, for
any and all students to attend. We also want
to welcome all women who are interested
in the Department to come along to one of
our events, or have a chat to us in our office.
We’re planning a big mix of social events and
activism through the Department this year,
so there’s something for every interest. And
remember, the Women’s Room is always open
and full of resources!
Activities: Amy Clyne
Hola amigos! Amy Clyne from the
MSA Activities department here, letting you
know when and where to find all of the funses
happening around campus in 2013.
Kicking off the semester is, of course, O-Week.
BIG GRIN. Sizzling away every day from
12-2pm you’ll find our world-famous (and
entirely free) Activities BBQ. Join us on
Tuesday to recover from an epic Host Scheme
Night with a relaxing evening on the evergreen
lawns of Monash Sport, with the return
of the acclaimed Moonlight Cinema. Come
along and try one of Sir John’s scrumptious
gourmet pizzas (only $6 a pop) and stay for
the company, the icey-poles and the popcorn
while you enjoy a special screening of
Ben Stiller’s modern-day classic, Zoolander.
Dinner starts at 5.30pm over at Monash Sport.
Wednesday we have a pool comp running
throughout the afternoon, so come and try
to beat us, if you think you can! And finally,
to cap it all off, Thursday night is TRIVIA
NIGHT AT SIR JOHN’S. A great chance to
show Monash that you don’t need uni in order
to know useless stuff, simply join a table and
join in the fun!
Other upcoming MSA events include the
Wholefoods Fun-Raisin (Wednesday March
6), Music on Menzies (Thursday March 7),
Surfin’ M.S.A (Saturday March 9) and our
Ladies’ Night cocktail function (March 21).
Come and say hi at one of our O-Week events
to find out all the details!
Monash University International
Students Service (MUISS)
The Monash University International
Students Service is one of the largest
international student organizations in
Australia and a division of the Monash
Student Association who advocates the
interests, rights, social and welfare of all
international students enrolled at Monash
University, Clayton campus. The aim
of MUISS is to promote and foster the
interaction amongst international students
and local students, and courage the
engagement with the broader community,
through its efforts and events organised
over the year. The missions for us this year
is to protect and further the interests &
welfare of international students, to promote
understanding, interaction and networking
between international and local students to
helps students know where to find help when
facing difficulities regarding to study and
living, and also to run events that enrich the
student experience while studying in Australia.
In 2013, MUISS will hold activities such
as moive night, paint ball, go kart and PR
seminar to encourage international students
blend into the local society.
Mature Age and Part-time Students
Divison (MAPS)
MAPS was created to provide a support
network for mature-age undergraduate
students returning to study. We understand
that this demographic has different needs
and responsibilities that they juggle while
trying to study than your average 18-23 year
old university student. We provide a relaxing
lounge where our older students can mingle
with others who have the same concerns as
them as well as a fully networked computer lab
where they can study in peace and quiet.
MAPS advocates the needs of mature
age students by representing them on several
student run and university run committees.
We are fortunate that our demographic
is recognised by both the MSA and the
University as this is not the case in many other
universities around Australia.
During Semester 1 we have events
planned each week giving our students an
opportunity to socialise and forget about study
for a while. We will be holding a “Biggest
Morning Tea” for the third year, raising money
for cancer research as well as a trivia night,
BBQ, lunches and morning teas. If we are
really lucky there might also be a wine and
cheese event in there too!
So stop by the MAPS lounge (upstairs in
the Campus Centre) and say hi – we don’t bite
and always welcome new friends.
32 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

SCIENCE
SCIENCE LESSONS FROM… DOCTOR WHO
Nicola McCaskill
While regenerating an entirely new body
seems like something from science fiction, the
concept itself might not be entirely out of the
question.
Humans have some regenerative capacity–
we build scar tissue when injured, our
bones can repair themselves, and infants can
grow back the very tips of their fingers. Other
animals have further regenerative capabilities.
Geckos can grow back a tail, and sea stars can
regrow arms. Axolotls have the incredible
ability to grow back almost any body part that
is injured or removed; including limbs, nerves,
and even up to a third of their heart.
Research into what gives these animals
the regenerative super powers that we lowly
humans lack – much of it being done at
Monash – could have massive implications for
the future of modern medicine, and change
the entire way we think about treating injury
and disease. And that’s without even going
into the amazing breakthroughs already being
developed with the use of stem cells, at which
point I just get too overwhelmingly excited
and you guys, I just can’t, I just I cannot even,
I can’t even.
I’m not implying that it is likely that
humans will ever be undergoing any dramatic,
fiery reincarnations into completely different
bodies. But I will say it’s perfectly feasible that
an alien species may be able to regenerate
at will. And it’s certainly on the cards that,
perhaps one day, we will take what we’ve
learned about species that do possess this
remarkable ability and translate it into real
therapies for humans.
Regeneration - Maybe One Day...
DID YOU KNOW...?
Shalaka Parekh
• That sea cucumbers and sea urchins are able to change elasticity of
collagen within their bodies! This could hold the key to youthful
appearance.
• Regular leisure time exercise can extend human life expectancy by
over 4 years says the National Cancer Institute
• Orgasms can offer powerful pain and stress relief. Studies show that
orgasms reduce stress due to the surge of oxytocin (the “cuddle
hormone”).
Image: Ryanoelke
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
33

MUSIC
LOOKING BACK ON 2012
Gus Hebblewhite
In direct defiance of the Lot’s Wife motto ‘Don’t look back’, I want to
take some time to consider the glorious year of music that’s just passed.
And the most straight-forward way of doing so is to present my very
concise ‘best of’ list. So here we go, in no particular order:
Billy Woods – History Will Absolve Me
While the secretive MC Billy Woods has been
rather prolific, this LP was the first to see real
popularity (though I use the term loosely).
Woods, at his best, is a scathing political commentator
and brilliant deliverer of punchy,
poetic verse. His lyrics have the intelligence
that is so important in progressive hip-hop,
but he never loses the dignity or rawness that
makes rap a powerful emotive force. He doesn’t brag about guns and
money and women, not even ‘ironically’, but unlike much of the new
school of middle class hip-hop (like Macklemore and Chidish Gambino)
he still gives off a ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe that seems both sincere and
effortless, and makes listening to him somehow make you feel invincible.
In short, he occupies the best of both worlds of what can often be a shallow
genre. This is a grower.
You might like this if you like: Abstract hip-hop, Cannibal Ox, Lil B, El
P, MF Doom, Aesop Rock, Killer Mike.
Good entry point songs: ‘The Man Who Would Be King’, ‘The Wake’,
‘Freedman’s Bureau’.
Kendrick Lamar – Good Kid M.A.A.D City
Lamar follows last year’s debut Section.80 with an even stronger album.
It tells a story of growing up in Compton, with each of the songs forming
a piece of narrative that gets clearer as the album progresses. It examines
the issues of growing up in a poor and sometimes rough area, with
humour and empathy and a kind of self-examination that doesn’t feature
very often in rap. There are also religious undertones which have the
effect of giving the album a strong sense of soul rather than sounding
preachy or self-righteous. The production is generally exceptional, and
tends to be minimal, i.e. very few instruments at once – usually just
piano, drums and electronic bass. Lamar’s lyrics are never ostentatious –
telling a story rather than delivering striking lines – and the accompaniment
has a way of mirroring the mood of what Lamar expresses.
You might like this if you like: Outkast, Lil B, Killer Mike, Childish
Gambino, A$AP Rocky, Schoolboy Q, Talib Kweli, Nas, Lupe Fiasco
Good entry point songs: ‘Swimming Pools’, ‘Money Trees’, ‘Good Kid’,
‘Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe’.
Thriftworks – Rainmaker
California based producer Jake Atlas mixes strange dubby baselines with
beats that sound as if they were created by a jungle tribe. Occupying a
strange place between dubstep, downtempo and glitch-hop, the mood is
both spooky and funky, and there are lots of other-worldly vocoded samples
of what sound like another language. A lot of Atlas’ synths appear
to mimic the sounds of xylophones and anklungs, and his drums have
the timbre of spoons and water droplets that shuffle and swing, teasing
with climaxes that never come. There are no catchy hooks, just a thick
soup of unconventional and somehow thematically linked noises, the
overall effect being cohesive and addictive.
You might like this if you like: Flying Lotus, Vibesquad, Bassnectar
Good entry point songs: ‘Greenie Beans’, ‘Pillow In The Woods’, ‘Crack
Cakes’
Hidden Orchestra – Archipelago
Hidden Orchestra are a Scottish Jazz group, but they use a lot of electronic
sounds as well, and ultimately don’t sound very ‘jazzy’ – more like
a kind of acoustic trip-hop. Archipelago, their second release, is smooth
and relaxed with crisp drums, ambient brass, woodwind and percussion.
Many of the songs play with your head by shifting the emphasis and
spontaneously breaking from minimalist and linear patterns. Most of
the songs seem to hover between assonance and dissonance, oscillating
playfully on either side.
You might like this if you like: Massive Attack, Portishead, Bonobo, The
Cinematic Orchestra, BBNG
Good entry point songs: Every song on the album
Kishi Bashi – 151a
Also my ‘2012 cover art of the year’ winner, this album is an example
of just how powerful Kickstarter can be for
fostering the creative arts. Kaoru Ishibashi is
a Seattle-based violinist who has toured with
Of Montreal. His debut album is full of sweet,
almost manic melodies and sound-scapes
with lots of vocal harmonies and strange,
extended violin technique. I’m tempted to
describe the genre as ‘dream folk’. It’s catchy
and radio-friendly, but doesn’t come across as generic, maybe because
of the way Ishibashi rarely dwells on musical themes, and because the
instrumentation is just so rich.
You might like this if you like: Grizzly Bear, Animal Collective, Of
Montreal, Fleet Foxes
Good entry point songs: ‘It All Began With A Burst’, ‘I Am The
Antichrist To You’.
34
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

MUSIC
FESTIVAL CLOSE UP: BIG DAY OUT
Dina Amin
Waking up for my first Big Day Out was a
thrill. Having not been to a music festival
since Laneway in 2011, I was craving the
collective enthusiasm that a festival crowd personifies.
Heading into Flemington, I reflected
on my expectations. Vampire Weekend would
be amazing; Foals would blow the roof off; The
Peppers would be sensational and Karen O’s
vocals would be unrivalled. In retrospect, I was
spot on about the first three.
Upon entering the racecourse at approximately
3pm, we were given our mandatory
decorative wrist bands, a right arm accessory
that pissed off my friend because she said it
clashed with her bracelets. With a tradition
of holding onto festival memorabilia, I made
a mental note to prevent throwing it away
at the end of the night. Our first artist was
Grinspoon, a band I wasn’t too familiar with.
They sounded great, a perfect prelude to what
was to come.
Personal highlights of the afternoon were
Band of Horses and Vampire Weekend. As a
fan of the former’s first two albums, I was grateful
when their set mostly consisted of their
earlier stuff. Favourites included ‘The Funeral’,
‘Cigarettes, Wedding Bands’ and ‘The Great
Salt Lake’. However, at times the band’s volume
tended to override singer Ben Bridwell’s
vocals; a disappointing outcome, as Bridwell’s
high pitch and purity is what gives the band
its unique sound. Vampire Weekend, the enigmatic
New York band whose sound personifies
the genre of indie-rock, were another personal
highlight that afternoon. The band was flawless,
their catchy tunes never failing to energize
the crowd.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs were the unforeseen
disappointment of the day. Karen O’s sensual
vocals were tainted by her shrill screams which
made for an irritating performance. The live
show sounded nothing like what we hear on
the records. It was inconsistent and embarrassing.
Their set consisted mostly of unfamiliar
songs, their more popular repertoire only appearing
a few times. Their most famous tune,
‘Heads will roll’ was annihilated by Karen O’s
weak vocals and manic shrieks. As a devoted
fan, I was very upset. But for some illogical
reason, I’m still looking forward to the release
of their fourth album this year. Listen to their
records, maybe, but I’ll never pay for a live
performance again.
As the afternoon turned into evening,
it became too cold to lounge around and rest
on the grass, so my friends and I continued
dancing and exploring. I was desperate to see
Foals, so at 7pm we entered the large tent
surrounding the Green Stage. Having seen
them at Laneway in 2011, I was prepared for a
dynamic show. They outdid themselves, with
the scaffold-climbing Yannis giving an even
more eccentric performance then I remembered.
They played old favourites including
‘Balloons’, ‘Blue Blood’ and ‘Miami’, however
it was their new single ‘My Number’ that really
captured the crowd, a song that blends the
archetypal sounds of both Antidotes and Total
Life Forever.
For the crowd, The Killers’ performance
on the main stage appeared to be a favourite,
with Brandon Flowers constantly holding the
microphone out and encouraging his fans to
sing along. Although Flowers’ voice sounded
great, The Killers have always bored me for
some reason. I find them too monotonous and
mainstream, which is a shame because their
first record Hot Fuss showed real potential
in the indie rock persuasion. I found it cute,
yet quite embarrassing when Flowers’ started
singing ‘Waltzing Matilda’ in tribute to Australia
Day, as he appeared to be the only one
confident with the lyrics. As an American, it
was quite ironic and sad that he knew all the
lyrics to the iconic Australian tune and yet the
crowd either didn’t know or didn’t care. By the
time ‘Waltzing Matilda’ was over, the crowd
was more than ready for the next international
act.
The night concluded with Red Hot Chili
Peppers, the biggest headliner for the festival.
After finally pushing our way through a wall
of sweaty and smelly fans, we managed to get
a decent position in front of the stage. The
Peppers were great, a lot better than I thought,
as they never get a good live review. Highlights
included ‘Under the Bridge’, ‘Californication’,
‘Otherside’ and ‘By the Way’. The collective
adoration for the band was palpable, as
everyone knew every lyric to every song. The
only thing that perturbed me was the band’s
decision to play shirtless. It’s not a good look
to be shirtless on stage when you’re twenty,
let alone fifty. That was definitely a poor and
wanky decision on the band’s behalf. However,
their performance was amazing and they were
forgiven.
Putting aside the awful performance by
Yeah Yeah Yeahs and the painful pushing and
shoving of the crowd, my first Big Day Out was
a success. Sharing the atmosphere and music
with an Australian crowd was the perfect way
to spend and honour Australia Day.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
35

MUSIC
REVIEWS
LOCAL NATIVES
Hummingbird
Steven M. Voser
Gorilla Manor, the debut album
by the LA indie rock quartet,
Local Natives, explodes out of
the speakers with its drive of
complex tribal percussion and
fuzzy, treble boosted bass-lines that are
sure to wake the neighbours, while wicked
three-way harmonies almost cut through
the lounge-room windows. It was an album
ruled by simplistic, natural sounding rock
instruments, with little effects other than
some distortion and echo.
Now, having released their second album, Hummingbird (29 t h
January), Local Natives take their turn at addressing much darker
themes like death, loss, and mourning, as the year 2011 saw two major
losses for the band; Kelcey Ayer lost his mother, and the band parted
ways with bass player Andy Hamm.
The first track, ‘You and I’, is a droning, atmospheric emotional
ballad. It sets the mood for the rest of the record, with subtle, ambient
arpeggiated guitar chords, and the constant sting of feedback in the
background. One familiar with Local Natives’ first album will be
surprised that they have written a song that isn’t entirely driven by Matt
Frazier’s hyperactive drumming. However, tracks like ‘Heavy Feet’ and
‘Breakers’ still have that heavy percussive drive that is so distinctive of
this band.
This record clearly depicts the band’s growth, both musically and
personally. Gorilla Manor featured that careless sound; ‘Airplanes’ was
introduced by boyish howling, and ‘Who Knows Who Cares’ speaks
for itself. Hummingbird, on the other hand, is uncommonly cathartic;
the howling vocals on ‘Columbia’ express confused emotions and a
struggling to understand the cruelty of the world as Ayer bawls about the
loss of his mother.
For the most part, the subject matter is dark – the songs embodying
this appropriately with an eerie and mysterious atmosphere, like the
sustained keyboard chords on ‘Three Months’ or the staccato chords
rigorously bashed out on ‘Black Spot’.
Thankfully, the whole album isn’t so sorrowful as to leave you
suicidal by the end of the last track.
Songs like ‘Ceilings’ and ‘Woolly Mammoth’ give the album the
slight lift that it needs. The mix of finger-picked guitar riffs, off-beat
drumming and major lifts hint at stereotypical images of LA sunshine
and convertibles.
However, while the album does well to show Local Natives’ ability
to adapt their music to reflect on the ups and downs of life, it lacks
the musical experimentation at which the band hinted in numerous
interviews. Except for a sampled drumbeat, which features on ‘Three
Months’, and a wobbly bass synth on ‘Bowery’, there is nothing out of
the ordinary regarding sounds and textures. Overall, the brilliance of the
record lies in its ability to not only express all these emotions verbally,
but also embellish those feelings within the listener. Where Gorilla
Manor displayed the rock and groove this LA four piece can bring to the
table, Hummingbird is an expressive artwork, balancing the natural turn
of events that is life.
PETE MURRAY
Blue Sky Blue - The Byron Sessions
Steven M. Voser
Blue Sky Blue - The Byron Sessions
promised to be “a breath of fresh air in an
industry hung up on production, marketing
and gimmicks,” the PR companies said. It
leads to unmatched expectations of a raw,
stripped back, and lo-fi acoustic album, featuring
local musicians and unknown street
buskers of the Byron Bay community.
After listening to both versions of Blue Skye Blue, the reality is
that Pete Murray has built a studio in Byron, decked it out with top-shelf
instruments, and hired big-name celebrities to put their names next to
his songs, rather than come up with anything new.
The vast array of guest musicians did little to improve the tracks
on Blue Sky Blue, or give them a Byron feel (which I’m still struggling
to define). It was hard to recognise Scott Owen or Bernard Fanning’s
personalities in the tracks on which they featured, and it seems they
really just played the role of session musicians. Katie Noonan was by far
the biggest improvement to the album, as she added striking harmonies
and her own verses to Hold It All for Love.
While the singer/songwriter has always been known for his
laidback, acoustic feel-good music, his latest album is so mellow that it
becomes hard to distinguish between songs, except for a few personal
favourites such as Blue Sky Blue, Free, and Hurricane Coming.
Furthermore, I question why Murray stuck to the exact same track
listing as his 2011 album. Really, there is no direct incentive behind
buying this album, unless you’re starved of ideas for a mother’s or father’s
day gift.
It seems that Australia’s master of non-confrontational acoustic
pop music has gone a step too far, from producing relaxed, easy listening
surfy music, to a dull, characterless blob of unknown, similar to cottage
cheese.
36
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

MUSIC
GET TO KNOW ANIMAUX
Leah Phillips
Image: Greta Robenstone
After a solid year of relentless gigging in 2012,
Melbourne pop/funk seven piece Animaux
have gone from strength to strength. We had
a chat with the band’s singer, sax player and
Monash music student, Alex Lahey about the
Simpsons quoting, cat lovin’ group that is
Animaux.
Who makes up Animaux?
Animaux is a group of seven young individuals
who share a passion for genre confused music
and hummus.
On the drums is Adam Engel, an avid aviation
follower. When not beating and bashing his
prized drums, he can be found taking photos of
his cat, Austin. Will Base was born with Base
in his name and a bass in his hands and with
the nimblest fingers in the land, Base-o is a
force to be reckoned with. On the guitar is Sam
Jeffreys, a Kramer haired, and guitar wielding
character. Sammo has a thirst for Top 40
bangers of any era that cannot be quenched.
The one and only female band member,
Alex Lahey takes care of lead vocals and alto
sax. When not with Animaux, she divides
her time between quoting copious amounts of
The Simpsons, consuming poached eggs and
being a Sloth enthusiast. On the keys is Bill
Black: The king of backing vocals and afterschool
tutoring. Big Blacko has the capacity to
unleash killer JT-style melodies, so you’d better
watch your back!
Manning the tenor sax is Ollie
Whitehead: Part-time fence builder, full-time
sax man. There’s no crossing this guy when
he’s armed with his trademark snap back, and
a frothy in hand. Off stage, Animaux’s resident
red head and trumpeter Alex Woolford, enjoys
learning about the stock market and car
insurance. On stage, he pulls moves to rival
anyone’s aunt at their mother’s 50th.
You describe your sound as a mixture of funk
and pop, but did you experiment with other
genres before the Animaux sound was born?
I don’t think that there was much experimentation
with other genres, rather experimentation
with song writing methods and styles. I believe
the genre/s that come through in our music are
more a product of the way we write and arrange
our tunes, as opposed to sitting down and
saying “let’s write a reggae tune,” or, “let’s write
a deep funk song”. We formed after playing
together for years in various big bands and jazz
ensembles, playing little to no original music.
So we’re exploring song writing as a group but
it’s something we all really enjoy doing and feel
we’re getting better at!
Three short years have passed since you
formed and you’re now supporting The
Cat Empire on March 22nd! Any special
preparations for this show?
When we first started Animaux we created a
list of all of our ultimate goals as a band, and
on the top of that list was to one day support
The Cat Empire. The feeling of realising that
collective goal is incredible!
Preparations for that particular show will
involve the usual Sunday arvo rehearsals in
St Kilda, along with the plethora of shows we
have booked before The Cat Empire gig. A
Mighty Ducks-style pep-talk and band huddle
will probably take place just before we take the
stage too.
Apart from The Cat Empire gig, what’s
Animaux looking forward to in 2013?
We’re in the middle of a two month residency
at the Evelyn Hotel in Fitzroy at the moment
where we’ve been sharing the stage with some
killer supports. We always have so much fun at
the Ev - it feels like our home ground. We’re
also super excited to be playing the Hills Are
Alive festival in March alongside names like
New Navy and Saskwatch.
Can we expect any new Animaux tunes soon?
We’re currently in the pre-production phase of
creating our upcoming EP, due in mid to late-
2013. We’re really excited to get an extended
release out there that we’re all really proud of,
and that will turns some heads.
Want to see these groovy cats in action?
Animaux’s Wednesday night residency at The
Evelyn Hotel has been extended until the end
of March.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
37

MUSIC
HOTTEST 13 OF 2013
Your Lot’s Wife music editors (and Matt) have searched through a myriad of music blogs, websites and street
press to bring you The Hottest 13 of 2013. Pencil these release dates into your diaries people, these albums are
worth keeping a lookout for.
THE AVALANCHES: TBA
For the past twelve years, since the release of their ARIA winning
debut, Avalanches fans have been teased by Tweets, demo tracks,
and unconfirmed rumours. But, I have faith, and maybe we will see
another mind-blowing record by these guys before we all graduate
and get serious.
FOALS: Holy Fire [February]
Three years after the release of Total Life Forever, the English indie rock
band is getting ready to present their fans with Holy Fire, their third
album. The experimental and eclectic sounds of their debut album, Antidotes,
were reinvented in their second record, and will no doubt be reborn
in Holy Fire.
TEGAN & SARA: Heartthrob [February]
The upcoming release of Tegan and Sara’s Heartthrob conveys an interesting
shift from their previous world of indie rock into the genres of synthesised
pop and dance. Heartthrob is the seventh studio album from Tegan
& Sarah, its title an appropriate choice for the pop love songs contained
within.
NICK CAVE AND THE BAD SEEDS: Push The Sky Away
Anything that reads ‘Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds’ is usually quick
to grab my attention. I mean, who could forget an album like From
Her to Eternity? Now, add the words ‘new’ and ‘album’ next to their
name, and excuse me while I…
YEAH YEAH YEAHS: Mosquito [April 16th]
Four years after their last record It’s Blitz!, Yeah Yeah Yeahs finally return
with Mosquito, the highly anticipated fourth album. The record is said to
contain reggae beats and psychedelic influences, making it even more difficult
to categorise the eccentric band into a distinguishable genre.
- Dina
DAVID BOWIE: The Next Day [March 11th]
Whenever a major music icon such as Bowie - given his track record
regarding drug addictions - manages to not only survive past the age
of 32, but also promises a completely new album at the age of 66,
you’d have to be brain dead not to include him in this list.
-Steven
38
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

MUSIC
AUTECHRE: Exai [March 5th]
The eleventh studio album from English duo Autechre. They were a
very early part of the IDM movement and have continued in the spirit
of innovation for over 20 years of musical involvement.
the wave of fame since he released his debut EP Thinking in Textures,
featuring the hit track ‘I’m into you’ and that cover of Black Street’s ‘No
Diggity’. Fresh from a national tour with St Jerome’s Laneway Festival,
tour dates in the US and collaborations with Flume, it’s predicted this
busy man will deliver his highly anticipated long player this year.
MADVILLAIN: TBA
The sequel to probably the most influential abstract hip-hop album of
all time, the ever genre-bending MF Doom and producer Madlib have a
lot to live up to. I remain optimistic.
BONOBO: The North Borders [April 1st]
Downtempo that makes heavy use of organic sounds and samples. The
first-to-be-unveiled track, ‘Cirrus’, is a lot of fun and is rich with Bonobo’s
characteristic use of natural timbres layering into bassy trip-hop.
-Gus
ATOMS FOR PEACE: Amok [February 25th]
Thom Yorke (Radiohead), The Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea, and
Radiohead producer Nigel Goodrich team up with Mauro Refosco and
Joey Waronker to form Atoms For Peace; an experimental rock and
electronics band. Expectations are high when musical heavyweights
begin new ventures, yet their singles ‘Tamer Animals,’ ‘Other Side’ and
‘Default’ received some praise after their 2012 release. Get a taste of
Amok in the band’s latest single, ‘Judge, Jury and Executioner.’
-Leah
D’ANGELO: TBA [mid/late 2013]
Thirteen years have passed since D’Angelo’s last album Voodoo, and after
such a long time of musical hibernation I expect he’s got a few things
to write about. And I don’t think this will be some last minute slap
together of a comeback album either. The albums producer, Questlove
of The Roots, revealed in an interview with Billboard, “[the new album
is] going to take about 10 years to digest…” Expect some deep funk
grooves with mellow vocals and a polished production.
THE DRONES: I See Seaweed [March]
I was introduced to Wait Long By The River and the Bodies of Your Enemies
Will Float By on the road to a festival recently and this was the only band
I pursued afterwards. Odd? Maybe. But those are some great memories
and I’m hoping to make some more with this new release.
-Matt
*Honourable mentions: Vampire Weekend, The Flaming Lips, The
Black Keys, Black Sabbath, Matt Corby, Pond, The Arctic Monkeys.
CHET FAKER: TBA
Melbourne beat-maker Chet Faker (aka Nick Murphy) has been riding
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013 39

FILM & TV
LES MISÉRABLES
Levi Truong
Upon the release of Les Misérables, there was
only one thing you needed to know: every
single sound produced, squeaks and all, were
done live.
Something needs to be said about the
beauty of this land of live vocal magic. The
film’s objective (as any good film should
be) is to explore the humanity of its central
characters and display their plight with
believable depth and dignity.
Musicals have the advantage of ‘telling
a-bit-more than showing’, as lyrics can be
simplistic yet utterly overwhelming. The
emotional clarity is enhanced with every beat
of the opus, and a character’s quirks amplified
with simple instrumental flourishes.
However, generally one only connects
on an emotional level to either the acting or
the swelling of the orchestra. Even during rare
moments of magic one is constantly aware of
the artificially auto-tuned red curtain, where
the actors may look sad, and they may sound
sad, but they sing like they have the lungs of a
boastful lion after a satisfied feed. It’s beautiful
but phony.
Les Misérables manages to overcome this
phony valley by combining the larger-thanlife
essence of stage musicals with the nuance
and reserved subtlety of cinema. It utilises
the bombastic nature of stage to envelope the
audience and the rare quieter moments for
exposition of character, effectively turning the
formula inside out.
The protagonists inhabit a universe
where they sing instead of talk. We hear the
catches in their voices, the tears in their eyes
and the mucous clogging up their voice boxes.
It’s as if the characters really are lamenting and
rejoicing out loud; they just happened to rise
and fall to a melody.
This was done by design by director Tom
Hooper, who felt the transition from dialogue
to song lacked purpose, and consequently
cut most of the talking. This risks becoming
excessive and maudlin, as the storyline
alone (in fact, its title: The Miserable Ones)
is awfully tragic; to add song and dance is
practically destructive (fake cough, Glee).
Through live singing, however, the actors
can display their emotions with the reserved
dignity that the characters deserve, without
compromising the sentimental integrity for
perfect pitch. It’s not melodrama with flashy
hooks. It’s painful, ugly, raw and completely
captivating.
The perfect example of this lies in Anne
Hathaway. Her performance of ‘I Dreamed
A Dream’ was earnest, gut wrenching and
elegantly unadorned. It’s Hathaway at her
best. It’s also reminiscent of a particular
scene in The Princess’ Diaries – where Mia
lies drenched in her dilapidated convertible
croaking out ‘Why Can’t We Be Friends’
through the rain as she tries to comprehend
her hopelessness. She’s not actually
performing; singing is just literally the only
fathomable action left when nothing can be
done.
I’m not trying to
level Diaries with Les Mis;
I’m merely trying to take
the musical out of the
musical context. Anne
Hathaway is not singing.
She’s crying, yelling and
exploding. After all, how
can you convincingly
portray weakness when
your voice booms through
the crowd? ‘Stage voice’
is only employed when the character needs to
lament loudly. And there is much to lament
about.
The film does not hide from the
devastating destitution in its storyline, for
nothing destroys spirit like poverty. You may
not be visually afflicted, but emotionally there
is little mitigation to your despair. What the
film does magnificently with this gloom is
demonstrate the genuine sense of hope and
joy found in belief of a higher power. The
story displays guilelessly how during moments
of desolation there can be peace in faith. It’s
not ironic, satirical or preachy. It’s refreshing
to see what has brought millions a true sense
of contentment and comfort be treated with
earnestness in film. It is not one-dimensionally
represented, however, as the other, more
indifferent perspective is also depicted for
moments where the omnipresent cross lies
flaccidly in the background can feel like the
eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg.
The film is an exercise in restraint. It has
the right combination of all that is good with
cinema and music. And like its characters, the
audience leave the emotional joy ride with a
greater appreciation of the arts, empathy for
the poor and the promise of eventual peace.
40 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

FILM & TV
THE PERKS OF BEING A
WALLFLOWER
Ghian Tjandaputra
Charlie (Logan Lerman) sees things, he
understands them and he keeps quiet about
them; this makes him a wallflower. Wallflowers
silently watch life from the background. They
sit alone during lunch, gripped by the works
of their literary idols. They stand at the corner
of the room at school dances. They usually go
about their lives without really trying to make
things happen. The Perks of Being a Wallflower
chronicles one wallflower’s attempts to make
things happen. In this film, Charlie navigates
the roller coaster ride that is growing up,
accompanied by partners in crime Sam (Emma
Watson) and Patrick (Ezra Miller).
Charlie is dealt a bad
hand. At such a young age, he
is already all too familiar with
tragedy. The circumstances that
he faces are enough to damage
the mental health of a perfectly
happy adult, let alone a growing
15 year-old. As a result, there is
an ever-present risk that the film
turns out horribly contrived and
overdone. The film does indeed
utilise tragedy as a key theme,
but it doesn’t exaggerate the
associated drama. It somehow
hits all the right notes.
To a certain extent, every film adaptation
of a book will almost always disappoint its
loyal readers for not matching their exact
interpretation of the book. Readers, however,
will be satisfied if the film successfully captures
the book’s essence. And this film does just that.
The film really does feel like the book.
It’s obviously and believably the 90s, but it
doesn’t feel out of date. It feels contemporary
enough for audiences today to make an
instant connection. Most importantly, it
doesn’t subtract anything valuable, which is
a testament to Stephen Chbosky’s directing
skills. Having Chbosky – the writer of the book
and the screenplay who has never directed a
major feature film before – at the director’s seat
proves to be a gamble that pays off handsomely.
The writing also benefits from this. As
the book is written in an epistolary style, there
are bound to be gaps in details, especially in
dialogue. The script fills these gaps comfortably.
The film also progresses at a reasonable pace,
with the flashbacks providing a helpful set-up
to the film’s conclusion.
Furthermore, having a sterling cast always
helps. The main characters are played by the
perfect actors for the role. Emma Watson puts
in an accomplished performance in her first
major role since Hermione Granger. Playing
Sam is a significant challenge for her, as it
is not within the comfort zone of the smart,
talented Oxford-type Watson who essentially
spent most of her life playing a smart, talented
Oxford-type character. She even got the
accent right.
Since We Need To Talk About Kevin,
it is painfully obvious that Ezra Miller is
supremely gifted. And his performance as
Patrick is the soul of the film. He is what life is
like: vibrant, messy and uncompromising. The
film deals with the issues it presents just like
how Patrick deals with life: head-on with an
incontrovertible sense of humour.
Logan Lerman, on the other hand, is
naturally reserved. The Homecoming dance
scene encapsulates what he brings to the table.
Initially standing at the edge of the dance floor
by himself, he decides to join Sam and Patrick,
who are alive at the centre of the action. Every
little movement Lerman does in this scene
is perfect: the awkward head
bump unsynchronised with the
music, the slow, unconvinced
walk and the terrified look as if
he’s walking into a lion’s den.
In a way, this scene sums up the
entire film.
Perks leaves behind an
important legacy for wallflowers
everywhere, because in the
end, Charlie is still himself. He
still loves books. He still loves
writing. He still loves writing
about books. He is still that
quiet boy who understands
things. But the important transformation is
that he discovers life can be more exhilarating
from the dance floor. That can only happen
when you participate.
This is perhaps why Perks seems to have a
struck a collective chord with both young and
old. Not only because it is profound; not only
because it is funny; but also because in each
of us, there is a wallflower who is yearning to
dance.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
41

FILM & TV
FAREWELL 30 ROCK
Patricia Tobin
Saying goodbye is never easy, especially
when it comes to one of the best American
comedies on 21 st century television. Created
by comedienne extraordinaire Tina Fey and
helmed by Saturday Night Live producer Lorne
Michaels, 30 Rock will definitely be missed.
Since 2006, the series follows the happenings
of Liz Lemon (Fey) and her co-workers of
fictional sketch show TGS with Tracey Jordan
at 30 Rockefeller Plaza (the real-life studios
for NBC). Not afraid to poke fun of NBC and
parent company General Electric, the series is
one to remember.
Sweeping Best Comedy, Best Actor (the
charismatic Alec Baldwin) and Best Actress
(my personal goddess Tina Fey) awards over
the past several years, 30 Rock quickly became
a major critical success. Unfortunately, its
ratings in America were never its greatest
achievement. Compared to its contemporary
counterparts, 30 Rock failed to capture a solid
audience. Even down to its season finale, only
4.9 million viewers tuned in. This is a far
cry from (the inferior but far more popular)
The Big Bang Theory, where its latest season
drew an average of 18.61 million viewers per
episode.
In Fey’s self-penned autobiography
Bossypants, she admitted initially envisioning
30 Rock to be a Home Improvement-kind of
comedy (a.k.a. a massive hit), but ended up
with her very own little, zany show. I, for one,
doubt 30 Rock could have turned out any
better. The show proudly embodies a wicked
sense of humour that gives rise to its cult
status. The series primarily drives on its various
characters that might not be everyone’s cup of
tea, but their distinct approach towards comedy
is unmistakable.
There is the naïve Southern page
Kenneth Parcell (Jack McBrayer), the loose
cannon Tracey Jordan (Tracey Morgan), the
camera-ready natural blonde Jenna Maroney
(Jane Krakowski), the suave network executive
Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) and of course,
head writer Liz “Blerg” Lemon. During a
2008 cast interview, McBrayer cited that
the cast simply plays “heightened versions of
themselves” (which led to Krakowski snapping
“Excuse me?”). True enough, the cast is not
afraid to ridicule themselves in every episode,
which results in 30 Rock developing their
trademark satirical style. Other celebrities
play in with this brand of humour too. My
personal favourite is Al Gore who guest stars
as an environmental hero in season four. Midway
through a conversation with Kenneth,
Gore suddenly exclaims, “Quiet, a whale is in
trouble. I have to go!”
The show does not wholeheartedly
embrace the absurd like The Mighty Boosh,
but instead employs a more subtle approach
towards creating its signature bizarre humour.
The show artfully pushes boundaries of the
comedic norm.
One example would be an episode from
season four, where Liz has to undergo a screen
test for her talk show, the hilariously doomed
Dealbreakers. Each character passes through a
high-definition camera and a screen displays
how they would appear through high-def
lenses. Liz’s horrifying close-up of her bad skin
results in Pete’s outburst of “please step away!”,
Pete appears as a wrinkled old man on screen,
Jack is twenty years younger through high-def
and Kenneth is, of course, an adorable Muppet.
This particular scene is one of many that show
30 Rock’s immense skill in playing with the
fabric of reality for comic effect.
No ordinary sitcom would break out of
its own confined reality. Two and a Half Men
would never dare to try. Perhaps that’s why the
majority of American audiences were not used
to 30 Rock. The show steps out of a sitcom’s
comfort zone, whether it’s through their ‘Live’
episodes or other wacky antics. 30 Rock proves
to be immensely refreshing, rather crazy and
also very clever.
Now that its final season is officially over,
we ask ourselves: is there anything like 30 Rock
out there? Community is back on (fun fact:
Donald Glover, who plays Community’s Troy,
used to write for 30 Rock) and a new season of
Arrested Development is in the works. Plus,
re-watching our favourite 30 Rock episodes is
always a terrific idea. Maybe together, we can
reminiscence about how much we “want to go
to there”.
42 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

FILM & TV
COMMUNITY SEASON 4
Wait a minute, something’s changed...
Chris Pase
Community is back, and those of us who have
been waiting for production issues of the fourth
season to be worked out can be forgiven for
being sceptical about the premiere. What was
scheduled for October 19, 2012 was finally
broadcast on February 7, 2013 without the
input of creator/producer Dan Harmon and the
knowledge star Chevy Chase quit before the
entire season was filmed.
In homage to Harmon’s love of pop
culture references and meta-analysis of society,
Season Four opened by mocking conventional
sitcoms, adding an audience laughing track
and satirising ‘Hipsters’ for their fondness of
thick-rimmed, non-prescription glasses. It was
a clear message from the writers to the fans
that even with the off screen dramas their
beloved show had not become what we all
feared: just another TV comedy. Indeed, the
writers returned to familiar territory, their
fondness of sending up
hipsters moved from an
unnecessary fear of a
group of geriatrics with
hip replacements to
a sending-up of being
“cool but also not” by
fitting in with a trend
that aims to stand out.
The replica of The
Hunger Games in order
to win positions in a
lucrative class mirrored
the first season’s
paintball competition
to gain priority access to
timetabling; the writers
more concerned with
recreating the same
show than building on
the foundation that has
already been set.
The premiere’s
constant references to
change for the better and an eventual end at
‘Greendale Community College’ felt more like
an attempt to validate changes behind the
scenes rather than a necessary narrative for
the plot. The Dean’s (Jim Rash) concluding
“I don’t know why we’re so worried about
change; this year’s going to be great” sums up
the entire episode; the writer’s trying too hard
to convince the viewers the show is still the
same, rather than continuing the brilliance
of the first three seasons. New changes such
as Britta and Troy’s increased romance seem
forced, creating awkward on screen moments
as well as interrupting Troy and Abed’s much
loved repartee and partnered antics. This
wasn’t the only change that didn’t sit right in
the episode: Jeff punching Leonard and the
absence of the group’s study room also upset
the episode’s pacing.
For those unfamiliar with Community,
this definitely isn’t the entry point into the
show. It’s hard to imagine this season matching
the brilliance of the original, but given it’s only
thirty minutes old there’s always a chance it
can improve and remind us all of what made
this show so great in the first place. Indeed, the
pop culture references to Entrapment, Muppet
Babies and Inception blended seamlessly into
the story. It was in no way a classic episode but
there’s more than enough to suggest this season
can improve, especially with the presence of
an even more mentally unstable Ben Chang
suffering from “Changnesia” (Ken Jeong from
The Hangover fame). Season Four hasn’t been
an immediate success yet, but we can only
hope the off screen decisions won’t cause too
much more Changuish. (Bad Community pun
very much intended, feel free to start a slow
clap).
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
43

PERFORMING ARTS
CONSTELLATIONS
Thomas Alomes
Image: NASA
We’ve all had those moments where our future
seems to hang on a precipice. Multiple divergent
paths open up before us as we consider
an infinite number of possibilities that each
moment in our lives could lead to. Sometimes
these are seemingly miniscule; like getting
served the flavourless chicken instead of the
juicy looking steak at a formal function and
having to watch the person next to you devour
it with glee whilst you try to contain your
food envy. And then there are more serious
moments of chance, like just missing a flight
that ends up crashing with no survivors. And
for anyone who has fallen in love, considering
the seemingly absurd possibility of you and
your special someone being in the right place
at the right time to form that first connection
is enough to make the mind boggle.
In the Melbourne Theatre Company’s
(MTC) latest offering, Constellations, by
English wunderkind Nick Payne, the ‘what
could have beens’ of two people pursuing
happiness together is tackled confidently
within the broader context of the fractured
nature of the multiverse, with some rather
dense ideas from the realm of quantum physics.
One of the complex theories that the play
utilises is the ‘Many Worlds’ interpretation
of quantum mechanics originally developed
by physicist Hugh Everett. This idea posits
that each decision or change in the universe
creates a separate universe that splits off into a
completely independent existence.
In a format that is reminiscent of the
1998 film Sliding Doors and the juxtaposed
‘reality vs. expectations’ scene presented in the
2009 film 500 Days of Summer, Constellations
presents fractured snapshots from the possible
lives of quantum physicist Marianne, played
by Alison Bell, and beekeeper Roland, played
by Leon Ford. The play seamlessly flows from
one of these possible universes to the next,
sometimes repeating scenes with only subtle
changes in gestures or dialogue, to scenes in
which these two characters are unrecognisable
compared to the previous version in the
previous possible universe.
Both Alison Bell and Leon Ford gave
excellent performances under the steady
direction of Leticia Cáceres in her mainstage
debut as MTC Associate Director. Bell and
Ford handled with ease the multiple characters
without letting them blend into each other
in the complex and layered script. The
performances worked well because we got
the definite sense that the actors saw each
alternate universe version of Marianne and
Roland as individual characters, no matter
how imperceptible their differences may be on
first glance.
The haunting soundtrack and sound
effects by DJ/producer The Sweats (available
for free download at http://thesweats.
bandcamp.com) as well as the lighting
designed by Rachel Burke were also used to
great result. Sharp lighting fades, in addition
to musical breaks of jilting chords, helped to
denote shifts to another alternate universe for
Marianne and Roland and eased the general
flow of the performance.
The minimalist set designed by Marg
Horwell had as its showpiece a large chandelier
in for repairs within a large wooden frame.
The rest of the set resembled a ballroom or a
function room waiting to be set up complete
with stacked chairs, wine glasses in boxes and
a few disco balls discarded along the edge of
the stage. Presumably continuing on the play’s
themes of endless possibility and change, the
set hints at the many possible arrangements
the room could be set up in each possible
universe.
Constellations is a well-written play
that subtly reveals more and more the further
you delve into the ideas it presents. So it is
easy to understand why it was awarded Best
Play at the 2012 Evening Standard Awards,
making Payne at 28 the youngest playwright
to ever take home this coveted award. If you
can’t make it down to see this production,
Payne confirmed in January of this year that
Constellations is currently being adapted for
the big screen. Whether this intelligent piece
of original theatre successfully makes the leap
to film remains to be seen, but I look forward
to following future works from this talented
young playwright.
‘Constellations’ by Nick Payne
Melbourne Theatre Company
The Arts Centre, Fairfax Studio
until 23rd March 2013
44 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

PERFORMING ARTS
WAR HORSE
More than just a big animal puppet
Christine Lambrianidis
It seems the whole middle class population of
Melbourne has seen the long-awaited National
Theatre production of War Horse. I looked
around, amazed by the variety of ages I rarely
see at the Arts Centre. There were teenagers
with their feet on chairs; oldies dressed in
their best; children impatiently waiting for the
horsey. What do I, a 29-year-old playwright,
need to do to appeal to such a mass audience?
My list began as follows: life-sized puppets, a
cute kid, his pet horse and a world war. I was
ready, armed with my faux, socially conscious
political scepticism to see what everyone was
seeing and determined that no tears would fall
for this mainstream, big-budget commodity I
would have died to be a part of.
I must confess that my cynicism
crumbled under the power of astounding
performers, whose seamless movements bring
the innocently charismatic horse to life.
Even ruthless dictators would be sucked into
investing emotionally in this coming-of-age
tale set in Devon in 1912, where a poor, young
boy, Albert, grows up with his beloved horse,
Joey. It is impossible not to be seduced by this
beautiful love story; the way that Joey finally
starts to open up to Albert and tilts his head
towards him just makes you feel all warm
inside.
When WWI breaks out and Albert has to
give up Joey to the British forces, he enlists in
the army at the tender age of 16 to ensure his
horse is safe. His blind determination made me
realise how old and bitter I had become, while
Joey’s strength and resilience made me wonder
why I’m starting to give up on life too easily.
This is puppetry on a new level, beyond
my Being John Malkovich understanding.
Besides the horses, there is a very cheeky goose
that steals the show and offers some much
needed comic relief.
Just like the projection screen designed to
look like both a torn page from a sketchpad as
well as the sky, this show is a simple story told
in an epic way. The soundscape and design
were simply phenomenal, especially the use of
gun shots that seemed to be a waking reminder
that with innocence and beauty comes
darkness and brutality.
Wonders can be achieved with high
theatre budgets, but I couldn’t blame the
horse any longer for my bitterness because I,
in a very cheesy way, saw myself in him. Who
among us have not been used to plough fields
or fight wars? Joey’s struggles reflect how the
world changes us all as well as how we can
change the world. Yes, I can write. I can really
write, and I do not need life-sized puppets or
money to do it.
One leaves the theatre wondering
whether the random acts that defined Joey’s
life, from an auction to a coin toss, were acts
of Providence or just dumb luck. Either way,
you cannot help but reflect on all the Joeys
and Arthurs that were lost. It was at this point
where the lump of middle class guilt formed
in my throat and I remembered why I love the
theatre; it always reminds me that I am both
lucky and truly insignificant.
War Horse
National Theatre of Great Britain
Based on the book by Michael Morpurgo,
adapted for the stage by Nick Stafford
Directed by Drew Barr
Arts Centre Melbourne, State Theatre
Until 3 March
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
45

PERFORMING ARTS
MONASH UNIVERSITY
The MUST 2013 Season
Monash University Student Theatre (MUST) is an engine room of
creativity, a department of the MSA that creates vibrant, innovative
theatre by, with and for Monash students and the wider community.
Works are diverse, ranging from new text-based and devised works to
bold takes on classics, adaptations, events and exhibitions. Each year
we stage productions and events, support student-initiated projects and
hold workshops to develop theatrical skills and facilitate students in
professional placements. On and off stage roles are open to all students,
with necessary training provided.
MUST is staffed by a full time Artistic Director, Yvonne Virsik, and
Technical Manager, Jason Lehane.
(ph) 9905 8173 (email) yvonne.virsik@monash.edu
MUST Office Ground Floor, Western End Campus Centre
Website monashstudentassociation.com/Student-Theatre
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/musttheatre
How to get involved in 2013:
Come along to our offices and check out audition and crew opportunities,
sign up to our e bulletin via the web site, check us out on facebook, visit
our table during O-Week and catch the O-Show or make an appointment
with MUST staff to chat about opportunities. Workshops are still being
planned; you’ll be able to get info on them from MUST in O-Week.
The O-Show (Free shows throughout O-Week, Mon 25 - Thurs 28 Feb
11.30am, 12.30am, 2pm & 3pm)
A fun, informative spoof on student life at Monash created anew each
year by current students to welcome first years and give them ‘inside
info’. The 2013 theme is Sci Fi.
2013, A Space O Show, managed by Tash Milton, written & directed by
Kevin Turner, Jen Speirs & Lindsay Templeton.
Season Launch Party! Thursday March 21, 5.30pm till late – in the
MUST Space
MUST’s ‘Garage’ Sale, Tuesday March 26 – Thursday March 28
Psycho Beach Party (April 10 - 20) by Charles Busch, Directed by
Trelawney Edgar
‘Chicklet’ is a Gidget-esque teen whose dream of learning to surf with
the cool local beach bums finally seems to be coming true - just as long
as they don’t discover her acute multiple personality disorder…
Rehearsals are underway, a few crew roles remaining: contact MUST.
PRONTO (April 22 – 27)
Performed Readings of New Theatrical Offerings (PRONTO). Studentwritten
plays take to the stage in a series of rehearsed readings followed
by discussion with the audience, creatives and the playwright. Curator
Ella Motteram is taking script submissions and expressions of interest
from directors: contact MUST.
B Grade Movie Overdubbing Performance
Overdubbed in a satirical manner with new music and effects, dates
TBA, likely week 8.
Contact director James Jackson via MUST if you’re keen to help write
or manage.
In the Fires, We Weep (May 2 – 11)
A Contemporary Dance Work based on Dante Alighieri’s The Divine
Comedy, focusing on the first of the three books: Inferno.
Creator/Choreographer James McGuire is running auditions prior to
O-Week, some crew are still being sought: contact MUST.
A Show About… (May 16 – 25)
A piece, TBA, directed by MUST Artistic Director Yvonne Virsik.
Auditions and crew sourcing from week one: contact MUST.
46 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

PERFORMING ARTS
STUDENT THEATRE
Shakespeare Company production - Romeo and Juliet (May 30 - June
8)
Contact shakespeare@monashclubs.org
‘Stay on the Path’ A Creative Development (June 24 – July 8)
Exploring the creation of a physical space for spectators in which they
will become the subject of their own fairy tales. Created by James
Jackson and James O’Donoghue.
Live Performance Game (July 30 & 31)
An interactive game exploring character, strategy, performance and play.
Creator and Director: Peter Giannopoulos, Co-director Genevieve
Atkins
The Container Festival (August 2 – 20)
A brand new enterprise for MUST incorporating exciting and groundbreaking
new work of all shapes and sizes! Shipping containers around
campus, a ‘Hub’/lounge/bar located in the MUST space, ‘miniMUST’
and other spaces filled with brilliant new music, dance, short plays,
circus, burlesque, hybrid work and exhibitions. We’re gathering ideas and
EOIs from artists - info on the web site, or email MUST.
The Threepenny Opera (October 10 – 19)
An operetta written by Bertolt Brecht with music by Kurt Weill,
based on The Beggar’s Opera, set in Victorian London, directed by
Robert Johnson. An entertaining critique of bourgeois corruption and
complacency. Auditions late semester 1.
The Well
A reworking of the brilliant 2012 Rob Reid/MUST/La Mama co
production!
At La Mama in December and the 2014 Adelaide Fringe
mini MUST
An on-going initiative. What can you create that will fit into a mere
2m x 2m space? Intimate and innovative work performances, events,
conversations, experiences or exhibitions.
Shakespeare Company production – The Twelfth Night, (24
October-2 November)
Columbine (August 28 – September 6)
A verbatim theatre piece using the Columbine High School massacre
and its aftermath as its starting point. To be created and developed
throughout the year by professional guest director Daniel Lammin and
the ensemble. Auditions and crew sourcing early semester 1.
Noel Carrington’s Last Broadcast (September 10 -14)
In the dying era of radio dramas, a studio makes one last broadcast. Can
long forgotten tales of murder, mystery, invasion and ghouls keep the
debt collectors at bay? Think 40s radio drama crossed with The Goon
Show, crossed with hilarious live Foley!
If you are keen on helping write or create the works, contact creator
James O’Donoghue via MUST.
Of War and Women (September 19 – 28)
A new work by Genevieve Atkins, inspired by The Women of Troy,
which seeks to challenge ideas of war, masculinity and stereotypical
female roles. Co-directed by Sharna Cousland and Genevieve Atkins
Australian New Work (off Campus in the Fringe Festival)
A new play written by ex-MUSTer Isobel Roberts-Orr, directed by Nick
Fry, exploring what it means to be a young adult right here, right now.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
47

PERFORMING ARTS
WHAT TO SEE IN 2013
Christine Lambrianidis
Every year there comes a time when the two
major theatre companies will battle to get your
subscription. One will win and one will lose
and sometimes both will win and you’re left
broke. Here are my picks for 2013.
Melbourne Theatre Company
After boring me to death in 2012 (except
for Top Girls – loved it!), MTC I forgive you
because you have won me over this year. This is
all thanks to Brett Sheehy, MTC’s new artistic
director who seems to be selecting great work,
not just profit-making vanity projects. How
can I resist David Wenham in The Crucible? I
can hear Abbey and her Salem posse cry witch
and I get goose bumps. How can I also resist
Pamela Rabe in a bath full of cherries in Simon
Stone’s The Cherry Orchard? Stone and his
controversial adaptations are the new fad that
everyone loves to hate. The only thing better
would be an original work that Stone writes
instead of borrows, but whether he is a genius
or a copy-cat is besidethe point; he’s hot and
we all want a piece of him. And then there’s
Rupert: what happens when Australia’s most
well-known playwright, David Williamson,
and Australia’s most well-known media
tycoon meet? Your guess would be as good as
mine, but let’s hope this is the gutsy, thoughtprovoking,
Removalist Williamson writing,
not the cheesy sell-out Williamson who let’s
the sun shine through all over Melbourne as well
as regional Victoria. Finally, I cannot help but
add Zeitgeist, just because the company has
not selected what this show will be and the
anticipation is already making me anxiously
excited. The best show to sell is clearly the one
that hasn’t been made yet.
The Malthouse Theatre
After making me both inspired as well
as needing to perform a spell while running
to the nearest bar (take a branch and hit your
friends on the head and this will ensure the
bad theatre spirits never come back again),
The Malthouse is always cooking up something
interesting and fashionable for the cool,
skinny-legged-jean-and-beard brigade (I do
wear skinny legged jeans, but have struggled to
grow a beard). Following the adaptation trend
LEO
Christine Lambrianidis
is the critically-acclaimed Persona. Everyone
saw this at Theatreworks last year and raved
on and on about how amazing it was, so here’s
our second chance to see Adena Jacobs and her
Fraught Outfit company go at it with Bergman’s
classic tale. Once I’ve seen what I missed last
year, I will definitely see White Rabbit, Red
Rabbit as I hope that Nassim Soleimanpour is
the type of writer I’ve been waiting for all my
life: unafraid to discuss issues outside of western
culture and completely absurd all at the same
time. And our favourite absurdist, Lally Katz is
back with Stories I want to tell you in person.
She is breaking two cardinal playwright rules:
1. Don’t star in your own play 2. Don’t just use
your experiences. It will be a hit or a flop and
either way, I look forward to singing its praises
or mourning its losses. I also couldn’t possibly
miss Laser Beak Man the new show by Back
to Back Theatre whose Ganesh Versus the
Third Reith is currently wowing audiences
around the world. One fears what will happen
to the Malthouse when Marion Potts goes as
artistic director. Don’t go Potts! Put on my play
and then go.
Anything that is staged in a box with no words
needs to be seen, either to be criticized for its
wankiness or to be applauded for its inventive
stagecraft. I however saw it as the perfect
test for my new boyfriend; if he can handle a
one-man, one-hour show then he is definitely
a keeper.
Circle of Eleven’s Leo is by no means
wanky and most people left the show
wondering how the hell anyone could even
come up with something like that. Most
people unfortunately really do not know how
to use their imagination anymore, let alone
their bodies and it was refreshing to see this
happening live before my eyes.
Its use of physical and circus performance
as well as video projection and animation left
no room for boredom and made me consider
the inescapability of time and presence and
how perception and action can exist beyond
the laws of gravity. Of course, this profound
philosophical contemplation was occurring
while my peripheral vision noted down my new
man’s reactions: laughter, confusion, thought,
yes! Yes! He is not bored and looks entertained
in a non-stupid way, which either means he is
a great faker or the show actually is a feel-good,
clever story; something that is lacking in the
Melbourne theatre scene. You don’t have to be
serious in order to be smart.
Tobias Wagner’s performance was simply
brilliant; his movements were timed perfectly
thanks to Daniel Briere’s direction, and his
charismatic presence and facial expressions
guided the audience through the narrative.
The eclectic music, from Sinatra to
electronica, was also another highlight
confirming that Leo is a unique and modern
show for young and old and that I have a
boyfriend who truly might like going to the
theatre with me.
‘Leo’, Circle of Eleven
Performed by Tobias Wegner
Directed by Daniel Briere
The Arts Centre, Fairfax Studio
48 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

CREATIVE SPACE
The Turvy Topsy
Allison Chan
There was once a young girl. A very strange young girl, one who looked at the wind and felt
the stars. She drank the sun and basked in the stream. She was topsy-turvy and turvy-topsy.
Round-go-merry, she said, and down was up. Her senselessness was sense, and her senseless head
was named Ophelia. Funny that, that Ophelia, the turvy-topsy girl. With a hop and a kick, Ophelia
often played in her walled estate alone; of course she did, with no parents or wolves to raise
her.
Now, one particular day when the turvy-topsy girl sat, with her candy cane striped legs spread
childishly on a patch of jonquils and her finger scratching her head, she remembered a forgotten
thing. Forgotten things were strange things. She had a secret garden she often forgot because it
was secret and only the teapot into which she whispered all her secrets knew. Sometimes when
she fancied remembering a forgotten thing, she put her ear to the teapot and listened to the echo
of her voice swirling around within the porcelain globe. On this particular day, this particular
forgotten thing was ‘the sky is blue’ - but down is up - and she believed the sky was green. Before
she could think that blue was green, a something hit her on the head.
It hit her on the head so hard that she had no choice but to look up (or down). There at the top
of the wall, she saw a face peering at her. She knew this was a face, because she had often seen one
staring right back at her in a funny thing called a mirror. However, this face didn’t have pigtails
like she did or blink when she did.
We are the Palestinians
We fight the fights of freedom
with songs of revolution;
we walk the walks of fire
in search of the horizon’s flame.
We meet death on our way:
He asks us our goals
and we feel a thousand bullets
shredding our bloodied souls.
Life whispers in our ears
and we feel the touch of light again;
She gives us courage and hope
as we tear the tyrants chains.
O world! O USA! O Israel! Hear us.
We are the Palestinians, we are the oppressed,
as lions in a cage we do suffer,
Like eagles we will break free, our wings spread
wide.
“Hello there, could we have our ball back?”
The face spoke! Now it wasn’t just a face but a torso as well, and then it wasn’t just a torso, it
was also legs, swinging over the wall. No, no, no! This was her garden! No! She turned quickly
to where the boy was pointing and grabbed the ‘ball.’ “No!” she cried and rushed at him with the
ball, pushing it into his arms, and him to the ground. “No!” She stood above him and said this
feeling quite pleased with herself.
“Alright then, if you don’t want to play nice, I’ll leave!”
We talk the talks of fire
like children of the Sun;
We will bloom again as a million flowers
When rain comes to crush your joy.
We think the thoughts of fire,
Revolution in our minds day and night;
Love is in our heart
But we will resist and fight.
Something else caught her eye. Something on the wall, dark and shifting slightly. She turned to
it and looked. Look! She pointed to it, the shape on the wall. “Look!” The boy now turned to the
shadow (for that is what it was) and smiled. She put her hand out to him as if to say, “Stop!” and
ran away.
We stamp our feet to earth
And your walls will start to crumble.
One day it will vanish with the winds
As mountains shake underneath and tumble.
Ophelia came racing back with a stick of chalk in her hand. She screeched to a stop in front of
him and pointed behind herself, motioning for him to look! She looked at the shadow again and,
with her chalk, she began to draw around it. She began at his nose, curved down with the chalk
to trace his chin, which was attached to his neck, and then the rest of the shadow. She looked
at the shadow with the outline of pink squiggly chalk around the edges proudly. She had traced
the imperfect outline perfectly in love. She pushed the boy away, leaving him to his ball and the
world beyond, and loved the outline with its stillness and time to come.
We are the Palestinians; we dance the dances
of fire,
Vibrations run throughout the earth
As we begin to carve our names
Once more in our land, once more in your
hearts.
MD. Roysul Islam
50
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

CREATIVE SPACE
Bones
Ben Glover
If you look through the deep jungle of semantics fashioned with such loving care and ardour, if
you push past those thick, swelling veins I have threaded one-by-one on the walls my insides, a
backbone does exist to all those things I have to say.
Cut away the superfluousness, all the pointless flesh in great hunks and throw them to your dogs of
inconsequence, for it is there that their effects may be enacted in a controlled manner.
The meat in all its rawness is not completely unimportant, but once its sweet texture has passed
your lips, it is but a short-lived delight. For, it is the bone that endures throughout the aeons
For years archaeologists have puzzled over coupled skeletons they find, dug from the earth, heaved
from their graves to live once again, in man’s bewildered eyes. After collecting their trowels and
cynicism at dusk each day, they arrive at a conclusion to match their moods: human fidelity must
be as dank and crumbling as the ancient soil it once came from. For each skeleton clasps the other
warm, despite the many thousand years it has already been driven from their lifeless remains
I was left in the shallows
an idea drowned in salty fluid
shivering and quivering;
I was less than an embryo but already
below my wasted ribs I discovered
deformed piano keys, brittle bones
like decaying ivory
I thought if I pressed too hard they might
shatter
but I did not know how to play
so I forgot beauty and embraced the
poison in my marrow
and chalk in my lungs
I coughed up my smoke and mirrors
In those last few moments they had left, they lay down beside each other, nestled together on the
forest floor, and died in each other’s eyes. At the exact moment their lungs collapsed, their eyes
bolted wide open to see each other off with blank expressions with their fates whispered between
pale, crisping lips.
Death and decay were nothing to them. What they really feared was far more deeply rooted than
the impending bog and sediment or the gaping wide mouth to welcome them to eternity. What
they really feared was intangibility. It was too painful for them to part from this life as two separate
souls to walk down two separate paths and pass through two separate gates.
In some cases bones have become such a disarrayed clutter, like the bottom drawer of a
schoolboy’s desk filled to the brim with all things random and eclectic. It is impossible to tell
which one belongs to who – which femur was yours and which rib was mine? Yet, it highlights the
immortality of their existence as one spirit, one identity, one grain, one bone of existence.
I thought I could run forever but
leeches took hold upon my skin,
sapping the lifeblood of my clumsy heart
I withered into nothing but I never stopped
breathing
I was left behind in the shallows and
before long my hair had grown long and
unkempt
I did not notice.
Morgan Zhou
They were tucked away in the charnel house to spend the next thousand years lodged between
the ambiguities of their broken fragments. They are dust and ash now, but are so alike in form that
there is not one hardship which they will not have to endure together.
Their eternal fibres are intertwined. When at last they do disintegrate, their love ceasing to
manifest in a bone-obvious manner, they will dissipate into the land. In the steelwork of a city, on
the surface of a pond, in the belly of a goat because they are together and because they are one,
they are everywhere and they are everything.
Despite my shifting veins of interpretation (one stream flows just as easily as any another) there is
still a backbone to everything I have to say. Look deep down the jungle inside me, strip away my
veins and let them spray irrelevance about you. I do exist in bones, so cut away my flesh and dig a
hole inside of me – find me.
Artwork by Andre Sutherland
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013 51

CREATIVE SPACE
TRAM OF FOOLS
Thomas Wilson
The shrill ding-ding-ding of the bell, a tram driver’s protest. A car sweeps between me and my transport, and I feel its proximity. The driver’s texting,
head down. I imagine it hitting me, almost feeling the sensation, but shake the thought away.
A few steps and a hop, and I’m on. I make my way to the back of the tram. It’s old, with a musty smell in the air, seats covered in graffiti. The
weather is hot so I pull a window down. Taking out my book I flip to the marked page and settle in.
The tram jolts to life, throwing me from the words. I take the chance to look around the mostly empty carriage. My eyes meet the backs of
scruffy men and scrawny women.
They’re muttering to each other, or to themselves. Drunks. Crazies. Bums, hobos, weirdos–typical fare. Still, there is usually at least one sane
person. One woman with bulging eyes and a hunched back is walking up and down. She looks at me, a furtive peek.
‘Tram of Fools, we’re on the Tram of Fools!’ she says.
I suppress a smirk, shrug, and return to my book.
The tram rocks as if a manger. Heat builds as the sun streams in. The air coming through the window is no better, but I manage to stick to
reading. I promised myself that I would make it to page 110 before reaching my destination.
I gaze outside for a moment. The streets are quiet, empty even, the midday sun too much even for indomitable cars. In the tram a man in a floral
skirt does squats. At least he’s dressed for the weather.
We stop, and none too subtly. I curse as the book flies out of my hands, pages bending, my place lost. Scrambling forward I snatch it back, and
look up at the latest passenger.
I stare right into his eyes. They’re black, no iris, only pupil. His hair is slicked back. He wears a perfectly trimmed moustache and a perfectly
trimmed suit. A red tie glares from between his lapels.
He stares back, those pits sucking me in.
He blinks and I manage to avert my eyes. I try to look at the words in front of me, but I’m squirming. The man makes his way over to me. I feel
him. I pull the book closer like sheets in the middle of the night.
‘Hello.’
I lower the book enough to see him sitting opposite me, his legs crossed, hands layered on his knee.
‘Hello,’ I manage.
I swear I’ve never seen this man before; I would recognize him, he has a look about him. I try to ignore him, but the sentences disappear from
the page in front of me. I stare out the window, but it blurs as we speed past.
‘I said “hello”, Paul, which usually indicates the start of a conversation.’
Despite the suffocating heat, a chill shakes me. It feels as if every one of my organs shuts down except my brain, which veers into overdrive.
Memories of relationships; of parties attended; of interviews with potential employers; of café staff from near and far; of any situation I may have
met this man.
But no, this man is nothing to me. I almost look down to see if I’m wearing a name tag. I emerge from my delirium and face the stranger.
‘Yes,’ I say. My stomach groans.
The man smiles.
‘Would that be a question, or a statement?’
A sound escapes my parted lips, my entire digestive tract dry like the passing trees. The man’s smile–if ever something captured the word ‘wry’,
this was it. I feel hidden knowledge in its slant, diabolical truths waiting to bubble forth. His eyes are unnatural, but that smile is organic.
I shut my book.
‘What would you like to talk about?’
‘I was thinking we could talk about Hell.’
‘Can’t say I’m well-versed on the subject.’
I applaud myself for what I think is composure, but parts of me are banging on the door to be let out. The tram takes a corner abruptly, and I
sway as if over a precipice.
‘Perhaps I could enlighten you.’
52
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

CREATIVE SPACE
I undo a button and look around. I wish I hadn’t. The crazies have all stopped whatever manic activity they were doing, and every head is
turned toward us. Their eyes are glazed over. The hunchback stands nearby.
‘Welcome to the Tram of Fools!’
‘Let me begin,’ the man says, ignoring her. ‘There is a common misconception that Hell is some sort of fiery prison, a series of rooms where
masses are tortured–a fucked up spa resort. I’m here to tell you not to worry; Hell is nothing like that.’
I nod as if I know what’s he’s talking about. I’ve had to listen to tram junkies before, I’ve become accustomed to the rants. But a voice tells me
that this isn’t some nut job in a suit. That voice is screaming at me.
‘The worst thing is that we dark denizens have to use public transport. The God Squad get personal limos. That could have been you, Paul. It
was a tough battle, but in the end justice was served.’
A queasiness rushes over me, roller-coaster inertia. My stomach plunges and I turn my head for air.
Blank.
Blankness meets me; my mind blanks; I need a blanket.
The tram whistles through a hideous darkness, not quite complete, tinged with horrible emotions. We are suspended in nothingness. A single
rail extends into the future. Below us are luminescent rivers, and as we cross them I make out bodies, faces. A presence, and from the nothing.
Something comes, enormous and winged, streaking past, blasting the tram with a waft of rot. Distant screeches and wails reach my soul.
I turn back to the man, looking up to meet his wryness. He has grown.
‘Welcome to Hell, Paul. And just so you know, Heaven’s real too.’
Semester One Flash Fiction Competition
Need an excuse to write? Want a reason to be creative?
Well, here it is.
Enter the inaugural Lot’s Wife Flash
Fiction Competition to win the adulation of your peers (wine is another,
lesser prize).
There are three rules to Flash Fiction:
First, no more than 500 words.
Second, entries must be submitted no later than March 31st.
Finally, it must relate to the theme of
‘beginning’.
That’s it; good luck. The winner and one runner-up will be announced in the
third edition of Lot’s Wife.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013 53

CULTURE
THROUGH THE
MONASH
LOOKING GLASS
Hannah Gordon
To all you Alices out there, in your sweet blue dresses about to enter the
‘wonderland’ that is Monash University – welcome. There will be days
where you feel like the only sane one in the philosophical mind screw
that is an Arts degree. Some days your lectures will leave you feeling like
a guest at that famous tea party, listening to your Mad Hatter lecturer
pour tea in his ear and speak illegibly for hours. But for the most part,
Monash ‘wonderland’ is lovely.
Suppose Alice really did exist though, and wonderland wasn’t
actually a metaphor for university, but rather one for the murky world of
pedophilia. The real Alice wasn’t blonde with impossibly shiny hair like
her cartoon counterpart, but brunette. She was seven years old, wore her
hair short, and from photos seems rather timid.
Reverend Charles Dodgson (also known by his penname Lewis
Carroll) would tell Alice stories while on holidays with her family.
Carroll himself was “fond of children (except boys)” and was said to
have enjoyed photographing nude prepubescent girls. There has been no
concrete evidence of his pedophilia. Perhaps his photos were for the sake
of art, and his fondness for young girls was merely platonic?
However doubtful these claims may be, we are not here to argue
whether or not Carroll was a pedophile, but rather whether his life and
personality can be separated from his work. Is it necessary to know Carroll’s
fetish for young girls in order to appreciate his Alice in Wonderland?
As Oscar Wilde tells us in his The Picture of Dorian Gray preface,
“to reveal art and conceal the artist is art’s aim”. But surely such an aim
is impossible? Wilde himself, one of history’s greatest writers, ultimately
fails in this conquest. His work reeks of his private life, but tells his audience
that in drawing these conclusions we have committed the “unpardonable
crime of trying to confuse the artist with the subject matter”.
Great Expectations is said to be semi autobiographical, as is Joyce’s Portrait
of the Artist as a Young Man. Surely it is the writer who brings his or her
own uniqueness to literature. Had Carroll and Wilde both set out to
write the same wonderland story, surely they would come up with their
own vastly different interpretations. Perhaps Wilde’s ‘Alice’ would have
been male.
Our choices of individual words are each small reflections of us.
This therefore places the art as indistinguishable from the artist. In order
to understand art as it is intended, we must journey into the life of its
creator.
An understanding of Carroll’s life and his potential paedophilia
gives way to a far more vulnerable picture of Alice. And ‘wonderland’
becomes far murkier. Although, rest assured, Monash University is far
closer to the untarnished, paedophile-free wonderland. And remember,
at the end of your three or four or five-year course, just like the fictional
Alice, you will wake up and wonderland will be a mere memory.
54 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

CULTURE
TYPES
OF
SINGLE
PEOPLE
Image: Marsmet541 / Flickr
Anika Baset
While being in a relationship is portrayed as hand holdy, sunset watchy
romantic bliss, the word single evokes images of frozen meals for one,
drunkenly singing Celine Dion’s ‘All By Myself’ and multiple feline
companions. In reality though, there are more types of singletons than
the Bridget Jones mould.
dude/lady friend and sporting a smug ‘I’ve found someone’ superiority.
Yet when you’re out with them and ‘Single Ladies’ starts playing, they’re
up on the dance floor pretending like they don’t have someone who
might want to Put A Ring On It. Oh hell no, I ain’t standin’ for that
shit! Sit back down and pick a lane, buddy. You’re confusing everyone.
The ‘Fresh From a Break Up’ Single
The only time singledom will reflect the grim stereotype is when one
is suddenly thrust into the Big Bad World of Being Single, after exiting
The Land of the Loved Up. To help them navigate these new, murky
waters, this singleton will turn to the help of trusty matwa: Wine,
Tequila and Vodka (a rather tasty combination). Human friends are
neglected in favour of sitting at home listening to Adele and casually
stalking their former lover’s Facebook page for hours. Fortunately for
most, this level of pathetic is unsustainable for long periods of time.
The ‘Pretending To Be Happy About It’ Single
This singleton seemingly has their life sorted, but underneath their selfassured
exterior lies an insecure soul who will only be truly complete
when they find their ‘special someone’. Nights out are spent obsessively
scouring the room for potential future lovers while loudly proclaiming
that “Being single is so much fun!” Yet when they go home to stare
longingly at couples in romantic comedies, while pinning photos to their
‘My Dream Wedding’ board on Pinterest, it becomes apparent that it’s
not much fun after all.
The ‘On a Sex Rampage’ Single
Commonly referred to as the ‘player’, this singleton is set on one
destination: your pants. And then the pants of the person next to you.
Maybe they’re damaged, maybe they think they’re God’s gift to the world
or maybe they just like to bone. In extreme cases, these species have
even been known to send pictures of their genitals as part of the hunt.
While some may refer to their behavior as ‘sleazy’ and ‘kind of gross’, one
can’t help but admire the determined yet emotionally distant finesse they
bring to the mating game.
The ‘Actually Taken’ Single
For all intents and purposes, this singleton is in a relationship but one
that is yet to be ‘official’. They engage in shitty relationship behaviours,
like being surgically attached to their phone, blowing off friends for their
The ‘Genuinely Loving Life’ Single
This singleton is actually pretty chill about the whole single thing.
Relationship schmelationship, they’ve got some solid mates, interesting
hobbies and a generally positive future outlook. Maybe someone will
come along, but they need to be, quite simply, The Best Person Ever.
This singleton is so content with their freedom that they may even be
found singing along to the musical genius of Jason Derulo – “I’m solo,
I’m riding solo, I’m riding solo, I’m riding, solo, solo”.
These types are by no means mutually exclusive. A singleton will
typically move from one to the next, sometimes happily but always with
the help of wine and cats.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
55

CULTURE
Willpower: Rediscovering Our Greatest Strength
Thomas Wilson
By Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney
It’s the start of semester, and students
everywhere have reading lists as long as the
entirety of the Game of Thrones series. But this
book should be on every students agenda; it
should be mandatory reading for everyone.
What is willpower? It seems to be a
nebulous term that shares the same cognitive
space as self-control, but it goes far deeper than
that. Willpower explores where this reserve of
strength comes from, how to maintain it, and
what the benefits are from practising it. The
question remains though: Even after all the
evidence is laid out, does the individual want
to sacrifice free will for willpower?
Complete dominion over one’s self is
notoriously difficult to achieve. It’s also boring.
Watch your drinks, cut back on the cigarettes,
stop eating cake, exercise daily, and don’t
sleep around (especially if you have a partner).
Thankfully the authors, Roy Baumeister
and John Tierney, have trawled through
hundreds of studies and interviewed a swathe
of celebrities in order to present the facts and
foibles of willpower as plainly as possible.
If you’re a fan of statistics and human
psychology, this book will hit the sweet spot.
Everything is covered from the classic don’tthink-about-a-white-bear
trick (you couldn’t
help yourself, could you?), to some truly
surprising lab results. There will be at least one
lesson to take away, such as the useful dieting
trick of, “Vice delayed may turn into vice
denied.” Whether you’re an abstainer or a swot,
advice is sure to find you.
The human stories add a real-world
element to the numbers. David Blaine describes
how he manages his feats of endurance.
The truth about Sir Stanley and his African
adventures are used to imbue the reader to
action. Oprah is utilised as an example of
how not to diet. You’ll either feel better about
your own drinking habits after reading Eric
Clapton’s story, or be inspired by his subsequent
turn-around. Even the famous have faults.
Similarly the book is not without its
problems. It tends to flip-flop between ideas.
In one section it explains that focusing on the
here-and-now helps with keeping goals, but
the next chapter dismisses this and states that
long term milestones are more effective. The
authors are all-inclusive and their convictions
come across as feeble. It’s also a long read, with
as much detail stuffed in as possible, slowing
the momentum.
Boiled down the book is common sense.
If you want to get good grades while keeping
a balanced life this book will point you in
the right direction. “The best way to reduce
stress in your life is to stop screwing it up” —
poignant and blunt. It’s a pity more of the book
couldn’t be like that.
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LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

CULTURE
Rambling on Lygon Street
Christopher Pase
Carlton’s Lygon Street remains Melbourne’s
premier strip for Italian cuisine and culture, but
the authenticity of the cultural experience has
been diluted in the past few years.
For today’s visit I start with Museo
Italiano, a showcase of the Italian history
of Carlton. If you’re ever unsure of where
to visit or eat in Lygon Street, head twenty
metres down Faraday Street for a thorough
guide to Carlton’s oldest establishments. The
museum’s black and white photos tell the
story of Olympic medallist Nino Borsari, who
found himself stranded in Melbourne after the
outbreak of World War II. Borsari opened a
cycle shop in Lygon Street, and is credited with
bringing the first coffee machine to Australia,
establishing the area as the coffee centre of
Melbourne. Borsari and other high profile
Italians like Carlton footballer Sergio Silvagni
helped build Carlton into a cultural icon, a
place of belonging for Italian immigrants
throughout the 1950s and 60s.
I head to University Cafe, which in 1976,
when the Italian population in Carlton peaked,
was considered to be the Italian Consulate
(but with food). Today this old meeting spot is
occupied by a small group elderly gentleman,
all dressed in their finest leather shoes, slacks
and suit jackets for coffee. But the menu could
be from any other cafe in Melbourne, giving
no hint of the home style Italian cuisine that
customers would pack the building for decades
ago. Despite the thick Italian accents coming
from the signori opposite, there is little here
that speaks of the famed cultural hotspot of
yesteryear. One of the men tells me he was
friends with the family who owned the deli
where Boost Juice now stands; he is saddened
at the loss of significant cultural icons over the
last few decades. It’s gratifying to see that Boost
is devoid of customers while the cafe next door
enjoys a healthy lunch trade.
As night falls and many of the
commercial retailer’s close, the ristoranti come
alive as patrons spill out onto the footpath.
The air is filled with the bellows of men with
thick moustaches and the beckoning aroma of
salted pork and wood-fired pizza. People cue
for gelato and the line snakes out of Casa Del
Gelato, stretching well around the corner. It is
only now that everyone seems to be celebrating
the heritage of Carlton as all the distractions
of Boost, Cotton On and Seed disappear. The
Forza Italia merchandise store dazzles with
bright lights and cheap Italian livery but the
majority of people appear to walk straight by,
knowing that a real taste of Lygon Street lies
amidst the restaurants and delis rather than a
shirt displaying Michelangelo’s David.
It’s impossible not to notice the
growing Western influence on the strip as the
generation that made Carlton’s Little Italy an
icon gradually move on. I’m in no way opposed
to other cultures integrating into the area (SR’s
Namaste Indian Restaurant is a particularly
tasty and cheap eat). But I hope Lygon Street’s
authentic Italian charm will prevail.
Lygon Street at night.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
57

CULTURE
ASSASSINS CREED III
Set to the backdrop of the American Revolution, Assassin’s Creed
III is Ubisoft’s latest offering in the AC series. Introducing a brand
new ancestor to play, Connor the half-Mohawk half-English Assassin,
Ubisoft have sought to improve on their beloved series for a new
generation of gamers.
In this instalment the player takes the role of Connor, fighting
against the Templars who have controlled the British and featured
throughout the series. To look at this game as a simple story of striving
for American independence against the British would be undervaluing
the amount of depth and detail present in Ubisoft’s work. Moral
ambiguity features heavily, with previously “good” intentions being
remastered with sinister undertones. Nobody is truly your friend and
Ubisoft doesn’t let you forget that. Without ruining the storyline, the
developers have put one heck of a twist in
the opening chapters of the game, forcing the
player to question whether the cause of either
side is truly unreasonable. This is arguably
the biggest departure from previous titles,
with the Templar frequently expressing the
good intentions of their order. This, combined
with the manner in which the game has been
interwoven into American historical events,
makes for a multifaceted and player-involving experience.
But enough about the story: what a game truly comes down to
is the gameplay. Assassin’s Creed III has maintained the essential
system of the original franchise and built upon it with some new
experiences. Perhaps one of the most anticipated changes has been
the introduction of naval warfare against the Templar. This system is,
to put it simply, fantastic. Placing you behind the wheel of your own
warship, Ubisoft has created dramatic and exciting missions, with
realism providing unique experiences such as steering ships in rough
weather. Indeed, weather itself has also been a big change in AC III,
with variable conditions affecting gameplay and not necessarily for the
better. At times it’s simply annoying, with snow slowing you down in
the wilderness if you don’t follow the road, exacerbating the frustration
at slower foot movement compared to horseback. It’s not fun to have
to sludge through snow while on a mission that takes forever. While
it’s realistic and graphically it looks great, I don’t think it needed to be
added to such an extent.
Developer: Ubisoft
Released: October 31, 2012
Platforms: PC, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3
Timothy Hender
“
Trust me when I say that this
is harder than it sounds, and
can leave you repeating a mission
over and over with frustration
until you perfect it.
”
The freerunning system has also had a rework, with a simpler
and more fluid experience of that iconic Assassin’s Creed rooftop
parkour highlighted by Connor’s ability to leap through treetops
with the same ease as he does in the cities. Combat saw the removal
of the old lock-on system, making for a more enjoyable experience
while still keeping the same block and counter system which was,
in my opinion, always a success. Combined with a greater array
of weapons to use such as muskets (usable as both firearms and
a melee weapon), tomahawks (a reminder of Connor’s heritage)
and rope darts (an amusing tool to pull enemies from a distance
or hang them from trees), Ubisoft have taken the already-loved
combat system of the previous games and found ways to enhance
it. That said, this instalment is a lot more combat-focused, with less
stalking around and more emphasis on the
assassination of targets. I feel this is a fresh
change to the franchise, as there are only so
many conversations one can muster up the
excitement to listen to. The synchronisation
system caters to both casual gamers and
hardcore players looking for a challenge, as
the idea driving this new instalment - for
those of you who don’t know – is that to
truly “be one with your ancestor” you have to complete several side
objectives along with your main objective. Trust me when I say that this
is harder than it sounds, and can leave you repeating a mission over and
over with frustration until you perfect it. Sadly, the implementation of
hunting was too underdeveloped for my liking and didn’t serve much
purpose in the grand scheme of things.
Overall, Ubisoft’s most recent instalment in the Assassin’s Creed
franchise was an excellent game to play, with the only downsides being
a few bugs and notable underdevelopment of the newly-introduced
hunting system. Aside from this, the game offered an amazing level of
storytelling over two different time periods, a great new naval battle system,
seamless integration with historical events and a massive improvement
in the driving stories behind the two major factions, departing
from their classical (and sometimes simplistic) good vs. evil model.
I give Assassin’s Creed III a solid 8.5/10 for a great storyline,
engaging gameplay and new features that are most definitely on par with
the rest of the series.
58 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013

CULTURE
GAMING: A BLOODY WASTE OF TIME?
Jake Spicer
A few weeks ago some friends and I played Minecraft all day. We created
a new world, found a giant chasm, built some houses around it, then
a town, some mines, a mine cart railway system, an armoury, towers,
elevators and countless other things. We rotated shifts in which some of
us would mine for resources, while others built paths, houses or cooked
food. First came that wonderful feeling of accomplishment. Then came
regret. Despite this initial satisfaction, I felt like I had completely wasted
my time.
A lot of us feel the need to justify the time and effort we put into
playing games; to others and to ourselves. We’ll look up guides, hints
or tips. We’ll watch Let’s Play’s and professional gamers on YouTube,
then mentally scold ourselves for trying so hard at something so
inconsequential. But is it?
A friend on Facebook recently wrote a status “If you ever feel like
playing a videogame, I urge you to pick up a book instead”, which was
pretty jarring at first. It wasn’t just a dismissal of video games, but an
outright rejection.
Partly because of views like this, it seems we’re still far away from
being able to allow social recognition of our gaming achievements.
The fact that most of us wouldn’t include our gaming achievements on
our resumes is telling. We assume that people look at video games as a
distraction and a waste of time. But the things we achieve in games can
be important. An employer should take into consideration the leadership
skills you developed managing that competitive clan. Of course not all
gaming achievements are made equal, but the insignificance of some
doesn’t invalidate others. This said, I think few people play for mental
improvement. But hobbies shouldn’t be analysed with cost-benefit ratios.
We play to unwind, fill time, have fun with friends, or to just be good at
something. We don’t play games to escape the real world, but to explore
new and foreign worlds. We can find out about other people, without
that dreaded ‘physical interaction’. There are things games can offer that
other mediums cannot; books included.
Of course, as with everything, it all depends on how you use
gaming, rather than how it uses you. This can be a thin line. Gaming
culture is becoming more and more mainstream. Some would argue it’s
already established its place. The recent Netflix remake of BBC TV
show House of Cards shows power hungry politician, Francis Underwood
(Kevin Spacey), going to an orchestra then putting on a headset and
playing Call of Duty.
Throughout the year, students will be defining themselves in
tutorial classes as people who like ‘watching movies, reading books, and
playing video games’ (Seriously folks, come up with something a little
more exciting during these exhibitions). It’s becoming more common
for regular, social, well-adjusted people to spend a significant amount of
their time playing games. You can look at it as the declination of society,
or the birth of a beautiful new medium.
LOT’S WIFE EDITION 1 • 2013
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