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“No, but it’s what we both need.”“All right.”He stood and kissed my cheek with a tenderness more real than hisname, his dreams, or his acceptance.It took him seconds to walk out the door, but it seemed to take the yearswith him that would never happen.OceanofPDF.com
3 4L O G A NDriving away from that house in Echo Park was the hardest thing I everdid, but if I ran back in for her, I’d be showing her that what she wanteddidn’t matter to me.It took two weeks to wake up from a nightmare. Fourteen days withouther. Half a month of making too much coffee in the morning, an empty bed,a live-in brother who constantly asked me if I was all right—if Ella wasaround or nah.Two weeks at a massive headquarters I’d lost the desire to run, skippingmeetings to go home to nothing, delegating fires for someone else to put outso I could get home to a house as empty as my heart.What was she doing? Was she happy? Was she laughing with the friendsI’d taken her away from? Was she working on the Big Blank? The silverdress? If I went to her, would she let me see it?Dad was out of bed in that time. His doctor told him to do somethingwith himself. Jogging. Parasailing. Horseback riding. After a week ofrecreation, he admitted he only wanted to do one thing.Check in at Crowne.I didn’t become a workaholic on my own.He came in to fight his own boredom, made an effort not to get in myway, and failed. Except that I didn’t care. He could charm the lobbyists overthe conference room table where I couldn’t anymore. I was world-weary,living a life with Ella in an imaginary universe filled with laughter andsurprise.“I’m going,” Dad said, peeking his head into my office. “Don’t stay toolate.”
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CROWNE OF LIESCD REISSOceanofPDF.co
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CONTENTSPart IChapter 1Chapter 2Cha
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OceanofPDF.comPART I
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Dad came in and shut the sliding wo
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“Mind your business, twerp,” By
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Thank God. Thank fucking God.“Tha
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She tapped the edge of her wine gla
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the bride. Boom. You’ll make a hu
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“But it won’t be perfect.” I
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“You look tired.” She lifted he
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“It was. Were you late for work?
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“No, no.” Tap tap on the keyboa
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4L O G A N“I think we should win,
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“No drug arrests.”“Right.”
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The white wall had a single, seven-
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5E L L ALeaving Logan in the workin
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“Why?”“Sugar?” I called.“
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“Right. So, where do we start on
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“Imagine if you married me.” He
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“That’s not enough?”“No. It
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6L O G A NOne minute, I had her. Th
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“You’re saying you have a histo
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“Dad.”He looked at his watch be
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I waited for my father to congratul
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I put down the container. My Blind
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“Fine,” I said, pacing the leng
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Jean-Claude came out of the closet
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Logan sat in the chair across from
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“Haven’t tested it without a co
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She jerked her mouth away, but I he
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“I’m not spending the next five
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Was I?I wasn’t made of stone. I w
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1 0E L L AI was married.Not just ma
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Non. Again. Non. Again. Non. Again.
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With the speed of a criminal unencu
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—I’m sending Loranda to getyou.
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She was not to smile at Caleb Hawki
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We walked up to the rooftop togethe
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She held out her right hand and the
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1 2E L L AMy quickened heartbeat st
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“Eyes on the prize.” He spun me
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I gasped. “No feelings. It means
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“Here.” Reaching toward my pant
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The bathroom door opened, and Ella
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“That thumb taste good?” she as
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I took my wife’s hand and pulled
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1 4E L L AIn the suite’s living r
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“Good morning.” He hit the ente
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in the fence from my window, so I g
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When I felt him get under the cover
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me, the harder I sucked. If I wasn
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They existed as a soreness where I
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“Olivia says she knows your new w
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“Don’t you dare,” she objecte
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“How long will it take?”“As l
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1 6E L L AAs I changed into jeans a
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“Nah,” he said. “I’ve done
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Colton pointed his fork at each of
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“I’ll cream you after lunch,”
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to journals under a pen name. I did
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outstretched for his wife as if she
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about who ran Crowne. He was concer
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One year, separate rooms. Functiona
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commercial space, so I’m not allo
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As if I was being honest with mysel
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Logan’s face was tense, waiting f
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PART IISIX MONTHS LATEROceanofPDF.c
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outside our marriage, I could barel
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that time of day added a level of c
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I checked the stock ticker.Maybe it
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Malibu was a wreck of traffic at lu
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without the sex. She asked for noth
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“I can’t be the only one mainta
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2 1E L L A“Talk to me,” Logan h
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“But… I thought the Collective
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Alone with the Big Blank, I pried o
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“I want you to want to go. If you
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Or I was imagining it.It was possib
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He hadn’t shaved before we went o
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how to get there, but he looked com
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I pressed the tape to alert the dri
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He opened his lips to answer. To ag
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“Yes, what?”“Touch me.”He p
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“Fuck me. Please.”“Are you be
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2 4L O G A NWhen our sticky bodies
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I didn’t want to hurt her, but I
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“No, you’re not.”“Wanna try
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A dress form in my size sat in the
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The door closed behind me as he cal
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“So,” Logan said, staring at me
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2 6L O G A NElla and I had things t
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“Sure.” She put in two more pie
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shredded and fringed with the loose
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2 7E L L AShredding my father’s d
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the night. They took down streetlig
Page 194 and 195: “I thought you were being modest.
Page 196 and 197: “Of course you did,” she called
Page 198 and 199: say I was a little disappointed wit
Page 200 and 201: “Can I stay here?”“Of course.
Page 202 and 203: “Sorry, yes. I know, Ella.”“D
Page 204 and 205: 2 8L O G A N—I’m going home—N
Page 206 and 207: I hoped she’d tell me more so I c
Page 208 and 209: “That was the reason you got into
Page 210 and 211: With a knowing smile, she swung the
Page 212 and 213: “You’re in luck.” I craned my
Page 214 and 215: want that?”“Do it. Take me.”I
Page 216 and 217: “Say something!” I cried.“Com
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Page 220 and 221: refrigerator. Then Colton had come
Page 222 and 223: “You mean, a little different? Or
Page 224 and 225: The anniversary party wasn’t a te
Page 226 and 227: “I have no idea,” Ella said.“
Page 228 and 229: wrong of me to work so hard to not
Page 230 and 231: look my family in the face. Nothing
Page 232 and 233: where the soil is rich. And sometim
Page 234 and 235: I didn’t want to be this way, and
Page 236 and 237: Shit.I had the desire to reach out
Page 238 and 239: 3 3E L L ALogan and I were on oppos
Page 240 and 241: grabbed a glass Liddy had filled.
Page 242 and 243: I lifted my glass and picked up a l
Page 246 and 247: “I’m leaving too.”He looked a
Page 248 and 249: My father hadn’t cleared the mias
Page 250 and 251: I looked at my watch. My meeting wi
Page 252 and 253: “Can you meet him in the middle?
Page 254 and 255: “Me neither,” his lawyer grumbl
Page 256 and 257: “I’m trouble, you know.” I gr
Page 258 and 259: into the elevator with her arms wid
Page 260 and 261: E P I L O G U E T W OE L L AFrogtow
Page 262 and 263: “Yes,” Logan said, taking my ha
Page 264 and 265: “Let’s talk about Dante,” Col
Page 266 and 267: Or maybe you’re curious about Byr
Page 268 and 269: A L S O F R E E I N K I N D L E U N
Page 270: A C K N O W L E D G M E N T SBefore
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