_OceanofPDF

Shit.
I had the desire to reach out to him—not to update him on my life but to
comfort him through his.
If I prioritized self-preservation, he’d be shut out until I was ready to
talk to him.
But I loved him, the fucker.
How much was I willing to take?
I loved him. Like a fucking idiot, I loved him. I wished I knew how
much that mattered. Was it as important as sticking to a decision I knew
was right? My whole life, I’d acted out when I felt like it, taken dumb risks
out of rage or boredom. I hadn’t made a single, important deliberate choice
about my path until I decided to walk away from this man.
I wouldn’t impulsively undo this one thing. Not for love. Not now. Not
ever.
But I cared about him and the family he’d shut me out of, so I called,
and he picked right up.
“Ella?”
“How’s Doreen?” I asked.
He didn’t answer right away, as if I’d caught him off guard by starting
the conversation in the middle.
“Fine. She’s sleeping. Dad’s going to be okay. It was mild, as these
things go, but scary.”
He sounded tired and flat, and a new kind of pain jabbed me. I wasn’t
allowed to soothe him the same way.
“You sound like shit,” I said.
“I’m okay. It’s been a long night.”
“Well, get yourself some rest.”
“Ella.”
I sighed and sat on a kitchen chair. I didn’t want to get roped into this,
but as soon as he said my name, I knew I’d be lassoed and hogtied. “What,
Logan?”
“I’m sorry about last night.”
“It’s fine. You were just being you. I’m the one making it messy.”
Messy was an understatement. This was supposed to be business and I
was four seconds to tears all over again.
“So what do you want to do?” he asked.