_OceanofPDF

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E L L A
I peeled off the black dress and stood in the middle of my living space in
my underwear.
The studio was huge and empty. A hollow repository for meaningless
work created as I fell in love with a man incapable of loving me back.
Another wasted effort.
I wasn’t pushing for unattainable goals anymore. From now on, I was
staying in my lane.
Once I found my lane, of course.
Logan wasn’t in it. He wasn’t even on the same freeway. My heart had
done something stupid and reckless. Something I should have seen coming
a mile away. I’d surrendered more than my body or my bed. I’d surrendered
my soul to him, and he did exactly what I should have expected. He threw it
away because he knew his lane. He knew how wide it was, how fast he
could go, and who had to get off at the next exit.
I was tired. So tired. My limbs weighed half a ton and my brain had
broken under the constant hammer of self-recrimination.
He didn’t call. Didn’t text.
Not that it mattered. What was he going to say that would change who
he was or how he saw me?
Nothing. He’d said from the outset he didn’t want a woman who’d nag
or push him to love her more than he was capable of loving. He wanted to
be what he was without pressure. I wasn’t that.
Sadness crushed me into a tight ball too small for the bed, too tiny for
the space, too rigid for change.