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“Ella,” I said, the name bittersweet on my tongue. “We got married
based on a lie. I’m sorry for that. I can’t make it up to you guys, or her.”
“You love her?” Mom asked.
“Is it love if I tricked myself into it? Because I don’t know what to
believe anymore.”
Mom sighed and folded her hands in her lap, which made her shoulders
shake more. “Byron,” Mom said with a definitive air, “you aren’t my oldest
child.”
We all shot up straight, asking “what?” at the same time.
“I had you two years after I married your father, but I was six weeks
pregnant for our wedding.”
“Mom, what the—” Lyric started.
“We rushed a wedding to save face,” Mom interrupted. “I cried for a
month. I wasn’t ready to be a mother or a wife, but I couldn’t tell my
parents because if I did, they’d push to annul it. We were both still children,
but I wanted to make my own decisions. Your grandparents were so
controlling, and I couldn’t wait to get out of that house. If they knew, they’d
try to convince me to raise the baby. I didn’t want to.”
“Byron’s still oldest if you terminated,” Lyric said.
“But I didn’t. Your father’s uncle died, and he had to figure out how to
run Crowne. We made a deal. I trusted him to keep his promises. I left
school for one year. He got trained in the London office, and I went with
him. Holed up in that drafty old house in St. Luke’s.” She shuddered. “I had
the baby there, and the agency whisked it away.”
“We have a brother?” Colton asked.
“Or sister,” Lyric shot back.
“Apparently,” Byron said, as if this seventh child was both threat and
curiosity.
They were all focused on the existence of a sibling and not the marriage
of Ted and Doreen Crowne.
Our parents were perfect. They’d done everything right. They loved
each other fully and had built a life on mutual trust and affection.
“When I cried,” Mom continued, “Ted held me. When I lashed out at
him, he didn’t even blink. I didn’t love him when I married him, and that’s
the truth.” She waited for us to digest that fucking tidbit. “But by the time
we came back to the States, I did. With all my heart I loved him, and still
do.” She put her hand on mine. “So what I want you to know? Love grows