_OceanofPDF

“That was the reason you got into this with me.” I handed her the thin
white cloth.
“Yeah. I know.” The curtain vibrated when she dried her hair, then
stilled as it ran along her skin.
I had to be misunderstanding her.
“So am I buying it up or no?”
“You’re not.” She slapped open the curtain. The towel was tied under
her arms and her wet hair hung to her shoulders in waves. Leaning on the
sink, she plucked her toothbrush out of her glass.
“Can I ask why? Since I started already?”
“It’s not who I am anymore. It’s Bianca’s mess. Let her clean it up.”
“You are charmingly unstable.”
“I was wrong about everything,” she continued as she squeezed out
toothpaste. “Nothing I wanted was ever actually mine.” She brushed her
teeth, stopping with a mouthful of foam to speak. “I’m entitled to nothing.”
Brush. Stop. “Doesn’t matter what my name is.” Brush. Stop. “Papillion.
Crowne.” Brush. Spit. “Lady McFuckstick.”
My laughter was inappropriate. I wasn’t matching her seriousness with
my own.
But she smiled and wiped her mouth. “See, I knew you had a sense of
humor.”
Uptight Logan didn’t know how to have a good time. Never went
outside the lines. Kept his head so far down on his work, he couldn’t see
anyone around him and was never seen. I’d cultivated that image as if it
was part of my job, and now she was surprised when I laughed at a corny
joke.
She’d been everything to me, and I’d made sure I was no more than a
husband to her.
“I want to know you,” I said. “Really know you.”
“No, you don’t.” With that, she went to her bedroom.
I followed like a puppy hungry for attention, helplessly watching my
owner yank pajamas out of a drawer when I wanted to be taken out for a
walk.
“Turn around,” she said, about to drop her towel, and like a dog trained
to sit, I did it.
This wasn’t the story I told myself about who I was. I was in charge. I
ran the show. But here I was, staring at a painting of a nude woman sitting